New here and starting Topa and with a question

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello all of my lovely ladies,

Haven't had the chance to post in a bit, so figured I'd stop in. I have been reading, but forgive me if I'm not completely caught up. So, Meggie as long as nothing is being diagnosed as or prescribed for alcoholism I think you're OK with the insurance companies. Your doc would be a real dick if he didn't put things down to anxiety or depression or whatever. Play obviously knows more than I, but wanted to mention it because I too share your concern about what all this is going to do to my insurance.

Play, I love weddings--count me in. Open bar? :H

I can't believe you guys got me using bold finally. Always considered myself the rebel, iconoclast, nonconformist type, but I guess not. Things are things here. Writing and reading too little, playing Xbox too much, and generally being under-productive, but getting the stuff right in front of me done for the most parts. At least my students are unaware that I'm a complete wreck and suck at life. So anyway, up today and ready to... go back to bed. But there's a very short list of things to accomplish today. Kind of a random question, but does anyone else put "make coffee" on their daily to-do list, just so at least one thing actually gets crossed off?

I swear I didn't used to be this lazy. I look out my living room window, and across the street there's of course the liquor store that sells until 2 am, but that's not really bothering me these days. Right next to the liquor store there's a Thai massage place--and I'm too lazy to go across the street and get a massage. How sad is that!?

Well, that's about it. I may not be caught up with all of you, but you're all caught up with me.

:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I havent been in a good place lately but I am still here, I had to go to the psychiatrist today to get a script for valium to get me through the next few days then see if I am any better.

I am thinking of you all x

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Stuck - you did make me laugh asking about the list and then crossing it off - I am THE list maker - when I was in college they all laughed at me and my lists and made me the founder member of Lists Anonymous - made me a wonderful booklet full of lists and sub lists - LOL. I make lists of everything. Frog and Toad (a childrens story) have a wonderful story called The List where Frog and Toad go out and then the wind blows away the list - so they sit down and as they don't know what to do without the list, Frog writes in the dirt with a stick "take a nap', crosses it out and then takes a nap!!! That is me to a "T". If it wasn't on my list and I do it, I ADD it to my list so I can cross it off !!!

Glad all is pretty much good with you - you sound as if things are going okay - I won't say they are going well, but they are going okay.

Space - oh gosh - please hang in there - I hope the valium helps you. What is going on? I am happy that you posted anyway - please just keep posting even if it is one liners - I get so worried when you don't. Can you PM me? Love and hugs to you my friend :l:l

Well, pretty quiet here right now - most of you seem to be going through some bad times - I am so sorry. For me for once, things are great. My new job is wonderful, the drinking is under control, and I am feeling good.

I hope that you are all able to post some improvements in your lives - I so hurt when I see any of you hurting.

Much love and many hugs to all,

sun XX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

wow, dizzy, I have rarely read a down post from you. Doesn't it seem like things come all at once. Mom died in October, I didn't know she was that sick. I went home for a weekend, I live the farthest, we had a great time. They had hospice come and they started her on morphine. She had COPD for years. The doc said that hospice should come in, so if she needed help she had it. Sunday she was groggy and Monday she was dead. Stress is a killer, it is so hard to stay focused when life is shooting you bullets.
Sounds like many on the posts are stressed. Hearts and prayers to you all

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OMG Dizz , how absolutely awful what you have been going thru, I guess I didn't have a real idea of how difficult the visa thing is in SA, wow, what a nightmare. Would it be any different if BF came and you guys got married in SA, would it be easier to get a visa as a wife? or maybe then you would never get a visa? What about a student visa? or would they know now that you weren't going to be a student? I just didn't realize it is so hard to get out of your country, and the problem with the visa is from SA not the UK?

I really feel so awful for you, we just have to have faith that this will work out ok, faith and patience. I sure wish there were some way I could help you.

And getting caught up in the drinking cycle and not feeling good, crap, what a situation, but I know sometimes you really do need to just totally escape the worry and stress, so now get thru the party and take the AB and start to feel better physically at least and that will help the mental too.

Dizz, i'm sending all my prayers and high energy to you tonight, and I'm asking everyone reading here to join in with me today, tonight, whatever it is for you, let's all send out waves of positive and rejuvenating energy to Dizz, and I hope that you will smile when you get all the good vibes from all of us here. Dizz I think you will feel better soon, PM if you want to talk more or anything.

bye for now, bath time, bedtime, Hypnotherapy School all weekend, YAY.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey all - got caught up reading your posts, but not enough time to comment on everything. Wishing everyone well - so sorry about the hell we often go thru. I'm going thru a bit of a one myself...

Wrote a late night email to this younger man I've reconnected with who lives in St. John. I've mentioned him before I think...we are planning a rendevouz this summer in Puerto Rico. So there he is living in Paradise and is depressed! Wrote me a long one all about his crush on a 30 year old he works with (he's 47). I tried to be sympathetic and wrote him back to that effect. Then he replies that's not really what he wants to hear. I was a bit deflated and kinda pissed. II decided to ignore him for awhile. Then late one night recently, I'd had a few and I wrote a few lines that were pretty mean. I feel really bad and added that note the next day. It was a few days ago and I haven't heard back. UGH!! I'm so stupid!! I should've just left him alone for awhile. One should not drink and email!!

It's a.m. here and spring break just started for me! YAY! I'm off to visit WTE tomorrow and excited about that! She's sending a car & driver to pick me up - that will be mind-blowing for sure, having a guy with a cardboard sign waiting for me. It will be my new FB profile pic! Hoping he's HOT! HAHA She's got some plans for us and I'm playing golf one day at a famous course. I'm going out today to hit some balls so I don't embarrass myself!! Otherwise, we will try to behave - sounds fun & I'm excited! :-))

Will keep you posted & hope you all take care!
XO

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx - I started a reply earlier and then had to leave the compuer - when I came back it wasn't here - anyway - hope you have lorry loads of fun with WTE - she is lovely to stay with - SO comfortable and such a wonderful hostess!! I will expect to hear what a wonderful time you both had !!! I know that you will enjoy it !!

I am making a nectarine almond tart and it called for baking the pastry blind which I did then asked to remove the rice or beans - so I tipped them out - and all the pastry came out too, MIXED with the rice !!!!!! Hells bells !!!!!!! WHERE was my head I ask?????? I have the nectarines all ready and the filling all ready so have had to make more pastry! It sounds really good though - but what a bummer - WHAT was I thinking? Do I even HAVE a brain? I know that Pooh is The Bear Of Little Brain - but for goodness sake !!!!

Back to the kitchen..... am enjoying myself anyway and tomorrow am making a spinach pie thingie. I would have made it today but hubs isn't here this evening (YEAH - ALONE time) so am making it tomorrow.

Ally - I promise I will get to the stuff - really I will -first thing in the morning.

Everyone else - much love and many hugs - Hope you are all feeling better !!

Love, Sun XXX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dear Meggie,

I'm sorry about what a shock that was to have your mother die so unexpectedly and quickly after starting on hospice. I can only say that sometimes in my experience in working with dying people and their families, this does happen quite often, sometimes people seem to find so much relief after starting on hospice that it somehow gives them the permission to go ahead and pass if that is really what they are ready for. I think people hang on many times only for their families when they would have been ready to go some time before, sometimes just the acceptance and honesty for the whole family due to "hospice" allows people to go.

I hope you find comfort in the knowing that somehow your mother was ready to go and was really so very sick that she was probably so so tired and in the end it was her wish.

:h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Meggie - I am sorry - I had answered your post in the one that went away - I am so sorry about your mum. It must be so hard - I lost my dad but still have my mum - I am dreading the day that she goes, knowing how hard it is to lose a parent. I cannot imagine how you must have felt. Love and hugs to you :l How are you doing now? How is the drinking going? Please keep posting - we like to see you here......

Dizzy - how goes things with you? How did the party go? And how are you feeling today? I wish you would post and let us know - I am feeling concerned for you, knowing how down you were. Please do a quick one liner and say hi - okay?

Space - the same goes for you too. I worry so much about my family here when things are not going right. There is never anything I can do which makes it all even worse. Please just pop in and say hi - although it is getting late for you there now. well - not really. We changed our clocks this weekend so are just five hours behind you now

please check in everyone and let us know how you are doing.

much love and hugs to all,

love, sun XX

[Jay-J]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi,

Just wanted to join this thread. New to Topamax.

7 days AF and 5 days on Topamax 25mg. I'm doing the MWO program so in two days I'm moving up to 50mg. So far so good. I wouldn't say 100% no cravings. About 80%. I can fight off the 20%. A little weird in the beginning. I got gassy for some odd reason and insomnia. I just moved the dosing to 1PM instead of 5PM and a slept regularly. Actually have pleasant dreams. Haven't had dreams for a long time since I was always blacking myself out to sleep

Thanks for letting me share!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi

Ihavent been posting much because as I just havent been in the mood, I have had nothing to say. I wish I could say Im feeling better now but all I can say is that this morning I feel a bit more stable tho still on the down side. As I have known for a long time drinking was a way I self medicated myself, so now I dont drink I have to actually treat my bipolar and this is taking time, I dont see my psychiatrist until the 15 April so I am waiting for that to see what he/she depending on who I see has to say. That is a thing that pisses me of about them, there is a senior pdoc and then a few work with her so I dont know who I will see. This isnt the place to talk about what has been happening with my symptoms tho.

I do have to say one thing tho and that is that although the past couple of months have been a bit rough for me I am so glad I am not drinking and eventually taking time to try and get better, even tho it was never my intention to compleatly stop drinking I now just dont see any point in my doing it.

xx

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

X posted Jay, welcome to this thread and its great to hear that you are doing well on topa. It is a great feeling isnt it actually going to bed and going to sleep instead of passing out every night.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning all...

Space - happy to see you here and I understand where you are coming from - it is still nice to see you though even if you don't have much to say - and i do understand your not wanting to put your stuff on here so no probs !! Just glad you are with us. Hugs to you :l

Welcome jay - nice to see you here too. So glad that the Topa is beginning to help you. It is a great feeling when that happens. if you want to share with us about yourself, please feel free - nice to have you here. Re side effects with the Topa, you will find that if you do get one, stay on the dosage that you are on for a tad longer as that seems to help with the SE. Also by playing with the time of your dosage it helps too - I did that in the beginning and it really makes a difference.

Did not like getting up this morning - in my head it was 4.00 although the clock said 5.00 - I don't care for the clocks changing ONE bit !!!!

off to get ready for work,

hugs to all, Sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

I'm still in a bad place, waiting to hear about my visa's appeal and just want to get the hell out of dodge. My mood has been crummy and I acted out by drinking too much and now my family is on my case about drinking and I really just don't want to handle with it right now.

I also have a lot of work to do and all I want to be is NORMAL but I can't be. I'm not going to drink for the next couple of weeks, obviously there's too much emotions and crap in me and if I throw another wobbly my family just won't cope with it but it's still hell of a uncomfortable to have other people on your case with it if you're used to usually being able to hide it pretty well. Or at least not have others on your case about it.

Sun I can't see now below what you wrote but thanks for your support - we'll just have to wait and see what happens now.

Play, we don't want to get married straight away. Ideally I would have liked to have 6 months more on a visitors visa and then get a 6 month fiance visa, so basically a year more until we get married. If I don't get the visitors visa I may get the fiance visa straight away which would only give us 6 months to decide.

Meggie, sorry to hear about your mom, that must have been a big stressor for you. Thanks for the support.

Houtx - sorry about the boi toi and enjoy your trip to WTE!

I hope you get to see the right psychiatrist, Space, it can make a big difference, if they can only get the dosage of meds right. I mean you've got rid of the AL so if only you can now get your mood up a bit.

:welcome: Jay-J

What happened to you, LJ? You still with us?

Hugs to all.

:l

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All!

Just a quick hello ….

Houtx arrived last night about 10 PM - had sent a driver to go get her. LOL We managed to stay up until the wee hours and she wants to make sure I wake her by Noon. NOON??? Good grief – I can’t sleep in for the life of me and have been up for hours already.

She is DARLING! After all these years, all we have been through on TSM and on MWO, to finally meet is magic. She’s a hoot! HA!

Space: I am SO happy for you and not drinking! Go you! Wish I was there, but even if you have to treat other things … at least you are not doing it with AL!

Sun: Had to laugh about the time change. I AGREE! And my diggy clock in my bedroom is doing the same thing as when you were here and did not change to the correct time. Dang! So how is the new position working for you? I have not read back for ages … need to do that!
OK, just read that it is good! Yea! And drinking better too I hope? Miss you!

Who am I kidding? – I can’t catch up!! LOL

Hey Dizz .. Like I said, I have not read back much but sorry to hear about your visa issues. UGH. I hope you get it sorted out. What a pain in the bum! I am a few days behind in sending you GOOD VIBES … but they are headed your way! Also just lit a candle for you in my courtyard …. May somehow the Universe bring you the wonderful calming scent.

Stuck – You crack me up! Hello! And welcome to the world of BOLD! HA! I want a massage place across the road from me! OK, confess that a liquor store would be fun too – but BAD!

Meggie – I am SO SORRY about your Mom. It’s not an easy loss to endure, especially when it is so sudden. My Mom passed over quite suddenly also a few years back and I have to hold onto the fact that there were not years of suffering for her. Hard on us that are left behind – but not a bad thing for her. I’m sorry for your loss. =(

Hello Jay! Topa can be FANTASTIC! I had some great successes on it, but had to stop for silly reasons. But it DOES work … as it seems you are finding to be true! Right Arm! HA! Yes, adjust times and most SEs go away pretty quickly. GO SLOW … I really do believe that is the trick. Titrate up as your body allows and don’t push it. It is one case where “more is NOT better” if it happened too fast. Congrats and keep rocking!

Play! We REALLY need to get together! Gosh – we live so close …. Well 8 hour drive. LOL I would LOVE to have you come down .. or me up. We could go raid Stuck’s house!!! HA! WHEN is our road trip??? Hope you are well and think of you often …

So .. on that note .. I must get on with my day. Houtx will be snoozing for another 3 hours or so. Shezz…

Had to laugh last night as I SWORE she is going to learn “cut & paste” before she is allowed to leave my house! HA! HA! No more lost post for that girl!!!

No set plans for today but I suspect we will hit the beach for a bit. Tomorrow we have our “driver” again for the day and have lunch planned at the Hotel Del and whatever other trouble we can get into. Houtx is playing golf on Wednesday at (can I say???) but there will be Tiger Vibes all around her. HA!

Think of you all often … miss being here so much but trying hard to get the beast under control …..
Bunches of Love and Hugs!

WTE & C
XO