New here and starting Topa and with a question

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Space! Did you start your new meds already? I can see such a different in your post and attitude and I'm just so happy about it.

Salad and Zumba!! You are putting me to shame! LOL.

Lots of love and hugs my friend.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

This article really resonated with me, so I'm sharing it with you guys

Hi everyone,

I'm just going to come right out and say it. I don't like Gwyneth Paltrow.

I don't know her - of course I don't, if I did you'd have known about it, trust me - so before you point it out, I know my attitude is completely childish and unfair. Yet, she irritates the organic soya milk out of me. If she were a drink she'd be like tap water, diluted with more tap water. If she were a song, she'd be an unfamiliar number by Michael Learns to Rock.

She is the tofu of the protein world, she's beige on the colour wheel, she's. well, you get the picture.

I mean this woman wrote a cookbook and one of the recipes in it is for oven roasted tomatoes. Who needs a recipe to roast a tomato?

Heat oven. Drizzle olive oil, salt and pepper over tomatoes. Roast.

I mean, really?

To make matters worse, you can't go anywhere on the internet without stumbling across one of her nauseating quotes about how fantastic she is. Have a look:

"Every woman can make time - every woman - and you can do it with your baby in the room. There have been countless times where I've worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work, and if it's important to you, it'll be important to them."

"I'm really f**king good at my job, and people who are interesting and good know that. That's all that matters."

"I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-A-Soup."

"My friend tells me I have the butt of a 22 year-old stripper."

It's like she's trying to annoy people.

I know one of the reasons why she annoys me so much is because I'm actually a bit jealous of her. A part of me also wants to train for 3 hours a day and eat only organic, macrobiotic foods and smoke just one cigarette per week.

It's just that the bigger part of me would rather watch 3 episodes of Game of Thrones while eating simple carbs.

I would like to think that's what makes me human, but perhaps that's just what makes me less successful.

Which means, I guess, that Gwyneth has earned the right to brag. She has two kids, a husband, a career, that whole Goop thing and she keeps it all together while working very hard at looking super-humanly fantastic.

She does not lack the courage of her convictions and I suppose that gives her a right to bassoon it out for the world to hear. She practices what she preaches and she truly believes she's teaching people to live better.

Maybe she is.

But a recipe for roasted tomatoes? That's where I draw the line.

Love and a 33 year-old butt,

D

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx: I will have you know that I am not taking topa. Golly, wait, why did that sound so indignant? Oh, that's right, because what I meant to say is that I'm not trying to knock up any old random woman. The woman in question is one of my very closest friends, and has been for the past 10 years. She's 38 years old, single, childless, and has decided after a lot of deliberation that this year she's going to have a baby. She asked if I would be the father, no strings attached, because, well, because she's actually in love with me for one, but also because she would prefer to know who the father is, even if no one else has to know. If it's not me, she will go to a sperm bank.

I'm considering it for several reasons. 1) I actually would like to have an heir out there somewhere and I don't see that happening any time soon otherwise. 2) While the "no strings attached" would almost certainly be more complicated than it sounds, it's pretty tempting. 3) If I had a child that I wasn't really going to take responsibility for, I feel like her very large, very close Greek family is a good environment for a kid to grow up in, if a kid had to be raised by a single mom. 4) While I'm not perhaps "in" love with her, I do love this woman, and she's one of my closest friends and I do want to do what I can to make her happy.

Reasonable? No, still probably not. But no matter, I still don't know if I'm going to do it or not, and the other night during the sexy-time-texts she thought I'd decided not to do it. And she still wants to come out here to visit and probably bang like bunnies for a week or whatever.

I know it sounds like OMG this is a decision that I can't take back! It's a freaking child, a commitment, a being brought into the world! But it's also a decision I can't take back if I don't do it. At first I said yes, then I backed out, and now I just simply don't know. She lives very far away, and there's no guarantee I'll be moving back there after school, so like I said, I just don't know at the moment, and it's not like she's bought plane tickets out here yet.

I LOLed at the rest of your post about me, Houtx, and yours as well, Sun and Dizzy. Space, I know this isn't really a good place to be. In fact, it's most likely pretty darned bad, but it doesn't feel all that dark right now. We'll see how that goes. Sorry to worry y'all. Seriously.

Hearts n' :l:l:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sorry stuck but there is no such thing as a child, "no strings", how the hell are you going to put that to the child when they grow up. I can understand her, I would probably feel the same way myself that if it was my last chance to have a child then I would use a sperm doner, which is what you would be, you need to see a lawyer about this one first though, you may find you want access to your child and she decides otherwise. Or she wants child support in future, at her age there is also more chance of problems so who is paying for health insurance, care if the child is disabled, there is so much to think about regarding love, she may have a large family but no one can ever replace a childs father. You are young, you can have a proper family. I dont mean to keep getting on you case Im sorry but you do put these things out there to invite comment. Also this thread is mostly middle aged women (I said mostly so dont anyone take offence please) so maybe you would get a better response about you sexual expliots on a more fun thread about that. I dont think this forum is moderated at all nowadays so you could probably get away with starting a new thread about it.

Dizzy Im sorry you have missed your bf's birthday, I know you had thought you would well be here by now, but looking forward to him going to the dentist, thats not much of a birthday treat either is it, I dont know which is the worst, the dentist or working, probably the first one. Its great you got the work you wanted and I know it seems like forever but you will get the paperwork, will you bf get a copy too so he can tell you what it says? and I am hoping and wishing for you that you get the visa. Has you mum had electric shock treatment before, I think you have a course of it and from what Ive heard it has done some people lots of good, but like everything for mental illness others not so good. The biggest drawback Ive heard is the effect on short term memory, and that too affects people differently. I thought she had just new meds the lamotrogine takes a long while to kick in properly so Ive been told so why isnt she waiting to see it they help.

Thanks for commenting on my sounding well Dizzy, it made me smile and feel good Actually I have felt pretty good today but thats because Im getting a bit hypo so I need to watch myself, some of my behaviour this afternoon has got a little bit out of control, in the centre I was being extra loud and not letting anyone else get a word in, even when it was their conversation , I didnt realise what I had done until later. I have started on the new meds, I started last week and have now finished the citalopram which I am glad about but I do need to calm down. I have got my laptop on charge now and am going to get a nice long bath soon, I take my laptop in to watch a film or something as I still have to have it going all the time, my thought are still way too scary for me to listen to. Oh also I rant the place where I went for the disaster CBT that didnt happen and they have told me I am at the top of the list for long term psychological therapy with a senior member of the team, I have waited long enough for it so hopefully it wont be too long now. Tomorrow Im going to try to get my eldest son to the citizens advice bureux for them to fill in a form for his benefits. I dont know if he will be able to go or not, it is always touch and go if he can do these things so I will just have to wait and see. Then there is something going on in the centre again so I can go there if I want.

Bye for now

Space x

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bye the way I cant even think who Gwenth Paltroe is, but I would need a recipe for how to cook baked tomartoes. :H

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Stuck, the point of my message to you was to consider your audience. We're not exactly the sexting, threesome, hump like bunnies thread of the year here, you know. Sometimes its not what you say but how you say it. All of a sudden the message has depth and human interest and it tugs at the heart instead of. Sounding like cheap thrills. I still don't know what advice to give you though except that you should not consider this unless you can do it after still thinking its a good idea after quite a few weeks of sober time.
Hugs my friend.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Point well taken, Space and Dizzy. My apologies, ladies. I know I don't really interact directly with m/any of you on this thread these days, and instead just pop in with a random story about random things. But, to be completely honest, I kind of thought I was considering the audience. Or, at least that some lighthearted narration of what's actually a real mess would get some laughs or brighten the day a little out there. In the future I can definitely save that kind of stuff for my thread--which I should probably get bac(k) to more anyway, given that I can log my second round with bac.

:l:l

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sorry to be a stuck in the mud and I hope you stick around Stuck. Its nice to have some light-heartedness, I was just commenting on how much more sense your second post made opposed to the first one. I think you relate to us or we or have the same problems in common, we just all seem to have chosen the same time to voice some tough love, because we want the best for you.

I'll reply again tomorrow Space. Bf ended up not working and the dentist was always tomorrow - I'm not that cruel

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

GOSH !!! what interesting posts !

First of all - Stuck - I would love for you to stay around but also agree that we don't need the play-by-play of what is going on - as such - if you get what I mean? yes, we are a bunch of middle aged ladies (with exceptions) that do not need to hear about your sexual escapades. 'Nuff said. Re the getting your lady friend pregnant .....Woah !!! You are letting yourself in for a HUGE thing if you do that - the others have covered it really, and I so agree with them. It is a CHILD !!! Once again - 'nuff said.

Space - what on earth does Gwyneth Paltrow have to do with baked tomatoes ????? I know that she recently brought out a cookbook - is the recipe in that? Let me know and I will get it for you and either e-mail or PM it for you. Or am I missing a joke here - I tend to be a tad slow on the uptake at times .... sorry !!

Space - I am LOVING your posts !!!! Whatever you are taking is obviously making one heck of a difference in how you feel - it comes out in your posts ! I have not seen you this animated for EVER ! You really are sounding so much better. Even if you are not feeling much different - apart from being talkative - LOL, it is lovely to see! Oh - and a pint here is 16 oz, not 20oz. (weird I know !!) Yes I so agree that Gatorade is high in sugar - fruit juices also are so one has to watch it. I do have a fruit juice when i get in on my AF days. It does help - although the first few days I have no problems at all.

Houtx - your post cracked me up !! I love that you tell it as it is. I am nowhere near as good with words as you - or Dizzy - is !!! But I do have to agree with you.

Now - re the AB, once again - Dizzy said it best. I found that the first week that I took it, I literally 'waited' for saturday. The next time I took it, I changed my attitude. And it was amazing. No thoughts about drinking - it really is all mindset !!! You just know that you can't. It really is such a good feeling. I can't explain it - you will have to experience it. I never thought I would feel like this about AB. I was so scared of it. PM me if you want to......

DIZ - absolutely wonderful that have had some radio ads - good for you ! I am so happy to hear it. Thank you again for being so good here with everyone. You really are amazing !!

Bug - Diz has Pm'd you - if you don't know how to find it, g-mail chat me and I can walk you through it. I so hope that you are feeling better today. You know where I am if you don't......

Off to get some dinner......

Hugs, Sun XXX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good replies, everyone to all -

We told Stuck how we really felt and he took it like a man. Stuck, I hope you'll stick around and post how much better you are w/ control of your AL consumption...or not, and all that that entails. I think we are all a fun bunch, but your posts were getting a bit too drunken weird. Hopefully you've gotten the message we think that this pregnancy would be a HUGE mistake. Seriously?? We have to spell it out for you?? I mean, it's IDIOCY, man. Pull your dick out of your brain and THINK!!! Your "good friend" can do it the normal way or thru a sperm bank. Don't go there. You'll be sorry for the rest of your life. This idea is not a lark - and you are STUPID to consider it so.

I am too tired to comment on everyone's posts, but I like them! lol - No "like" option on here. DZ, thx for your comments about the mindset of taking AB - yes, I need to think positive. I just worry a bit about any physical crazyiness/shout-outs from my body/etc I may feel. I haven't had an AF day in at least a year, now looking at 5...but there is light at the end...and yes, I REALLY have other health issues associated w/ my regular drinking habit that I think will lessen once I go free for 5 days. Looking forward to it/worried/positive/etc...

More later - XO

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I am glad we had this talk. Really. Now back to our regularly scheduled programing.

:l

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

I'm so upset. Bf and I had a blowout again on his birthday! Well not so much a blowout as he stopped talking to me at 5pm and then sent me a nasty email at 4am. We're obviously under a lot of stress about the visa appeal and we also have different opinions on what to do next. So he was at the pub from 5-12 and then went through paperwork and then accused me of lying and screwing up the appeal. I hate it when he does that, its not often, but every once in a while he is in a very shitty mood and keeps drinking and his mood gets darker and darker but instead of going to sleep he'll just send me nasty emails.

Worst thing is, the next day when he's sober he would have ended up convincing himself that he was correct in that I'm a horrible liar or whatever and then not talk to me for a while no matter how hard I try to get through to him.

When I'm with him he'll usually just stew in the kitchen and I'll go to bed as its easier to get paranoid about someone when they're 6000 miles away. I hate it when we fight and I have a feeling this is going to be one of those not talking to each other for days kind of ones. I'm not sure I have the energy for it.

Space, glad you are feeling well but yes, unfortunately you have to watch the hypo too. What I found though, mostly with my mom as I hardly get full-on hypos, is that this is the perfect time to clean the house and do all those things you never have energy for Use the energy for good as you don't know how long it will be with you. I hope it will even out and you will have energy without having to worry about it, you'll know what I mean.

Sun, I posted a Gwyneth post but it disappeared, I'll repost it after this. I haven't heard from Bug, so can you give her my email address in case she wants to talk to me?

Bug PM/Email me, OK? I'm starting to think it may be that your Topa dose is too high, especially the dry mouth. If you're feeling unbearable, cut one of your 25mg tablets in half, the one you take in the morning. That way you will take more at night, when you will be sleeping during the worst of the side effects. Also drink lots and lots of water and I think Space is right, rather drink Juice with your Vodka and make sure you dilute it with at least 3/4 juice or whatever mixture so you stay hydrated.

Houtx, you'll be fine once the AB arrives. You strike me as someone that can achieve anything she sets her heart to. I'm not just saying that, you really do sound like a force to be reckoned with in your posts. So use that inner power to work for you.

I have to get to work.

:l

PS: Here's the Gwyneth bit. It came in a email newsletter I get once a week from a women's magazine and I thought its really funny and related to it. Not that I have anything against Paltrow but its so easy to hate women who are perfect.


"I'm just going to come right out and say it. I don't like Gwyneth Paltrow.

I don't know her - of course I don't, if I did you'd have known about it, trust me - so before you point it out, I know my attitude is completely childish and unfair. Yet, she irritates the organic soya milk out of me. If she were a drink she'd be like tap water, diluted with more tap water. If she were a song, she'd be an unfamiliar number by Michael Learns to Rock.

She is the tofu of the protein world, she's beige on the colour wheel, she's. well, you get the picture.

I mean this woman wrote a cookbook and one of the recipes in it is for oven roasted tomatoes. Who needs a recipe to roast a tomato?

Heat oven. Drizzle olive oil, salt and pepper over tomatoes. Roast.

I mean, really?

To make matters worse, you can't go anywhere on the internet without stumbling across one of her nauseating quotes about how fantastic she is. Have a look:

"Every woman can make time - every woman - and you can do it with your baby in the room. There have been countless times where I've worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work, and if it's important to you, it'll be important to them."

"I'm really f**king good at my job, and people who are interesting and good know that. That's all that matters."

"I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-A-Soup."

"My friend tells me I have the butt of a 22 year-old stripper."

It's like she's trying to annoy people.

I know one of the reasons why she annoys me so much is because I'm actually a bit jealous of her. A part of me also wants to train for 3 hours a day and eat only organic, macrobiotic foods and smoke just one cigarette per week.

It's just that the bigger part of me would rather watch 3 episodes of Game of Thrones while eating simple carbs.

I would like to think that's what makes me human, but perhaps that's just what makes me less successful.

Which means, I guess, that Gwyneth has earned the right to brag. She has two kids, a husband, a career, that whole Goop thing and she keeps it all together while working very hard at looking super-humanly fantastic.

She does not lack the courage of her convictions and I suppose that gives her a right to bassoon it out for the world to hear. She practices what she preaches and she truly believes she's teaching people to live better.

Maybe she is.

But a recipe for roasted tomatoes? That's where I draw the line.

Love and a 33 year-old butt,
L"

[taw]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All!

I have been reading and following for a while. I have been on and off bac for the last couple years with little to no success, even while getting up to over 400mg/day.

It doesn't appear that many people are still taking topa, and/or having success with it. Is it a dated drug that is no longer believed effective for this use? I have ordered some and waiting on it to arrive, kind of as a last ditch effort. I have also tried TSM with no results.

My other question was for those that are doing AB5/7...on the days when you do drink, do you find your self consuming what you would have if you had not had any AF days? Or is your intake lower? I am thinking of combining this with the topa...Altho I just had 9 AF days with AB, and found myself drinking a bottle of wine the first night I could drink. Less than I would have drank, but more than I would have liked.

Thanks in advance.

T

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi taw, what does that stand for?

I take Topamax and it works for me, I by no means think its outdated or it doesnt work. However, I have slight bipolar tendencies so I cant go too high otherwise it makes me manic..
I'm stuck on 75mg, it works for my mood, better than any antidepressant ever did but I cant really seem to go up without getting too jittery, so I can't really get the real anti-craving properties anymore. It definitely did work for cravings for about 6-9 months though and I think it still helps as I feel it when I forget to take a pill.

I don't want to discourage you but I often find that I still have a bottle of wine on the days that I'm allowed to drink. Given that I would have had 1.5 that sometimes 2 of the 7 days a week, I think I feel justified. I still feel that 1.5 litres of wine a week is better than that a day, right? I'm not saying I ALWAYS have that a day. I usually tried to stick to a bottle, two bottles were my worst.

I know Play and some of us talk about retraining our brains but while in rehab I saw this video about how problem drinkers had different brain chemistry and sometimes I just think its not possible. Sorry, I'm a bit negative tonight. I think for me antabuse is as far as I can go in terms of retraining my brain, as soon as it wears out I start craving and turning back to BAD behaviour like tonight. Sure my boyfriend has been a royal asshole but that's no excuse.

:l

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Dizz sorry your BF is driving you to drink

And what's up, Taw? Fancy running into you here. I think most of the ladies here are actually on topa, with varying results. Just wanted to chime in and say that one of my friends out here in the 3D world is on topa for depression, and I believe on a much higher dose than what one would take for the anti-craving effects. He's having a bitch of a time trying to remain AF, BTW.

So just ask around about the dosage. From what little I know, you need to do a very specific, staggered titration for topa to work, if it's going to work.

Also, of course, sorry to hear you've been struggling. I have T-shirts made up for that particular club, if you'd like one.

:l:l