New here and starting Topa and with a question

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Aw, thanks Stuck, it sucks to be me right now but I guess it happens to all of us, that's why we're here. Can think of a choice few words of my own to call him right now but I'll try to restrain myself for tonight. Bastard will have to do for now.

[taw]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks Dizzy! taw are my initials...I was not feeling very creative when I joined!

Thank you so much! Yes, I too would have been at least 2 bottles of when a night, and at least double that on weekends. I will try the topa and the AB and see how that works. I guess any AF time I can get is better than none! And if it helps with mood, that will be good. I have been on and off prozac forever!

Stuck, buddy!! How are you doing these days? Bac kicking in for you yet? Out of Ativan? Want me to send you some AB??

Sorry to hear about your troubles Dizzy. Like I said, I have been reading for a while, just didn't have the nerve to post. I hope things sort themselves out soon for you.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone - late home as I had a dental cleaning and have..... a FRACTURED tooth - the dentist has no idea why it isn't hurting me - but it isn't. Root canal and crown here I come...... oh joy.

TAW - welcome !!! lovely to see a new face here. I was on Topa and it worked for me - but I have to get up to 300mg for it to work - and at 300mg it kicks in with depression (for me). I was on it for a while and was 8 months AF with it, but finally knew that i had to stop it 'cos of the depression. I have actually stopped taking it but am thinking about starting again at the 25mg. You HAVE to follow the titration schedule or it doesn't work - Stuck has a friend who is on it for depression (?) at a higher dose - and has trouble with AL, but he didn't follow the schedule, so that might be why...I have a nephew who is on it for seizures at a much higher dose so you have to follow the schedule. Never try to go up faster - trust me, it does NOT work !! I look forward to hearing more from you....

Dizzy... laughed at the Gwyneth post - especially as I offered to get the recipe !!!! LOL

SO sorry about b/f - I remember you going through this before with him when you were in SA. Things will work out - you know they will - just give him time. you KNOW what AL does !! Shame that when he gets over it, that he feels he was right - usually it is the opposite the next day. I know that last year on his b'd the same thing happened !

Hang in there - what is meant to be will be and unfortunately it is just taking time. It is such a stressful time for both of you right now. You are holding it together wonderfully !

Oh TAW - re the amount that I drink on the AB when I do the the Monday/fri thing - I am drinking the same to be honest. BUT, I do look forward to Monday when I take the AB. It is a relief !! My drink is Guinness - and I used to have two every night ! And thought I had a problem. When I am not on the AB, I am up to 4 or more every night and it is going up, so I do feel I am on a slippery slope here.

Stuck - I will have one of your t-shirts please - a size medium depending on how they run......

Houtx - lovely to see you posting and not losing your posts - are you doing the copy/paste thing? I really don't think that you will have any crazy shout out things when you go AF. Just know that that first night you might not sleep very well - I try and cut down or drink early and stop early the night before I take it so my body sort of gets a taste - it does seem to help. But I don't usually keep drinking until bedtime. I usually stop a couple of hours before and then have water, and then a decaf milky coffee with honey before bed. For me, that first week was the worst - as I hadn't changed my thinking - you have to do that. That first week, I waited for Saturday - the next time I did it, I accepted it !!!

Anyway - I need to get going. love and hugs to all,

love, Sun XXX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Taw its good to see you posting again and to bump into you here, I took topa for a little while and it did cut down the cravings and the amount I drank pretty drastically, but I was also posting on here every day and think that helped a lot as well. Unfortunately I still ended up back on vodka tho, not sure what happened to me there. I dont think it is outdated for this use, or not efficient, if you look around these boards you will notice that most people seem to be trying baclofen, only a few naltrexone and a few topa. That doesnt mean that topa and nal dont work, maybe it just means the original hype has worn off. To be honest tho I did think it would have done the same with bac by now as well.

Stuck, can you send me a t shirt too please, Im not stuggling with drink now but with my life and mood, still not so great. I have worked out the perfect career for me, as a bed tester, I mean for sleep, thats about all Im good for at the moment. How are you today, still going up on the bac.

Sun its great the way you are doing so well on your plan, I remember the first week you took it and then you had the second week off coming out with any excuse under the sun (no pun intended) so it was good when you gave it another go.

Dizzy, I also remember last year when you where apart from your bf and you had a rocky patch, you do seem so much better together than as a distance relationship and the stress of having planned to be with him then to held up all this time must be hard on both of you.

Houxt are you decided yet what you want to do yet. Are you going with the AB plan, I dont know if I have missed you saying.

Well as I just told stuck I am not great, I am soooo tired, I am in pain and have an appointment to see my doc for more pain meds and I am struggling to stay awake for that that. I wish I hadnt made the appointment and just gone back to sleep, I could have just taken other meds over the weekend instead. Probably best to go and see him, although I am worried that he is going to say I take too many of them and am addicted and stop giving me them. They are for fibromyalgia so my son said he cant stop giving me them.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy Ive had a fantastic idea ! I could do with a holiday so you could come here and pretend to be me and I can go to yours and be you for a while :H

Do you think we'd get away with it x

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

spacebebe01;1497265 wrote: Dizzy Ive had a fantastic idea ! I could do with a holiday so you could come here and pretend to be me and I can go to yours and be you for a while :H

Do you think we'd get away with it x

ROTFLMBO Space ...... but what an idea !!! :H:H

Back later - off to work.

Hugs, sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yeah, Space, I think we just might, but only in a week's time, otherwise I might kill my bf when I get there. :H I think you'd love it here. Its Autumn but yesterday was 30 degrees celcius. Overall we are having sunny 22-25 degree days though which are perfect. Then you can visit your lovely penguin friends. :H

Hey TAW, :welcome: nice to see some new blood. Drinking less really helps my mood. Well I'm more quiet and peaceful when I don't drink but when I do drink at least a bottle of wine a day I have this constant anxiety and wine lust that is chasing me. Sometimes the first two days can be fun but I have reached a point in my life where after that it no longer is and I do look forward to the antabuse. I know the others say it as well, it just takes away that awful monkey on your back and makes you feel normal.

Sure, I don't want to tell my friends that I have to take a pill not to drink but they mostly respect when I don't anyway. My dad can be really pushy and annoying sometimes and pour me a glass anyway but I know he means well and if I'm not strong enough to tell him the whole truth then I can't expect him to understand.

I'll also take a T-shirt, Stuck. :sulk:

I need to get back to work, ad needs to be done by five and its 1:30, yelp.

:l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - I don't usually post when I am feeling like this but do you know what? Life stinks at times. It seems that it is one thing after another and I need some hugs....:upset:

Life really stinks. Just when you think you are on top of things, something happens and you are knocked over again. I am not going into anything but it has been a bad day. I always try here to be positive but Space said the other day that I never tell you all how I am feeling - so I am. I am feeling VERY low !!! Nothing anyone can do - I just have to get over it. But I am so sad right now. Sad and down.

I think I will go and ice the cake that I have made for a friends birthday tomorrow then go to bed.

Just needed to finally let you know how I am feeling right now. It was Space posting that I never do that made me do this - I HATE feeling like this and it doesn't happen often - I hate to be the downer. Maybe I will delete it after I have posted - LOL

Just writing it out might help. Off to ice my cake.......

Love and hugs to all, Sun XXX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi -
Awwwwww Sunny - I hope whatever it is that is making you so sad has lightened a bit! So sorry! Not knowing what is bringing you down, hard to address. Hope icing the cake helped you think it through and be still and feel better! No matter what it is...it will be ok!!

Diz - thank you so much for your support and positive coaching and encouraging words! You have really helped alleviate my fears of taking AB. I am still waiting for it to arrive, and will let y'all know when it does. In the meantime, I hope you and the bf will chill out...I know you will. So frustrating and annoying while it's going on. Hang in there - he sounds like he's worth it en el photo grande...as are you!

Welcome TAW to our little gang here - no comments from me on TOPA. Yes, there are a number of us "hangers-ons" who have been there/done that/bought the T-shirt/and the bumper sticker...got off TOPA for whatever reasons yet still here b/c we can!

Space - thx for your posts and giving such solid support to everyone. Hope you feel better yourself!!

Hope PLay is feeling better - haven't heard from her.

Alls pretty well here. I'm continuing to hate school the kids are AWFUL!!!!!!!! We are having all these state-wide and then Stanford testing the next few weeks, then absolute hell until June 8th!!!! It's out soooooooooooo damn late this year. UGH - and now I'm depressed thinking about it! LOL Going to pour another. Am psyching myself up for the AB. Very seriously. Thx again DIZ for the pep-talk!

Hanging on here w/ you all -

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ah Sun, I wish you would tell us what upset you so much. But well done you for putting it out here in the first place. And I understand that sometimes its difficult to put something on here as you open yourself up to lots of well-meaning advice, .and other times you just want to keep some things private. The tooth story must already be awful. Just know I'm here for you, OK?

Bf and I are still not talking. I actually don't want to talk to him. I can't handle it when he is so cruel and expects me to be his scapegoat and emotional punching bag. The worst bit is it still hurts even though I should laugh in his face when he makes preposterous claims when he is in his bear with a sore tooth mood. Anyway, I'll just let him retreat into his cave, to be honest, I'm planning to do some cave-hiding myself this weekend. Got some nice tv-series that I'm going to watch on my laptop in bed. Am really enjoying 666 Park Avenue, its so spooky!

Pleasure, Houtx. Teenagers can sure be awful. I do find that I'm so much more in control when I'm sober during the week. It gives me the confidence to not back down or give up on stuff I usually would've if I was working with a hangover. When I was working 9-5, I always had a slight paranoia about the drinking, like someone is going to bring it up or I'm going to be caught out for missing something because I'm not 100% there. And even working from home this is giving me peace of mind knowing I can work a full 5 days instead of not being able to crawl out of bed one of those days and missing a deadline. I also know the quality of my work is better and I actually enjoy working a lot more. Well as much as one can enjoy working.

How's things, Space? I thought you were sounding energetic and the next day you sounded lethargic? Perhaps its the lamotrigine kicking in slowly but surely?

Cave time!

:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun I am so sorry you are feeling so bad, and yes there are times when life definately does stink. You havent told us what is wrong so it is hard to say anything much more to help. I am thinking of you.

loads of love
space x

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning - thanks everyone for your caring. Nothing in particular that I want to talk about - but am feeling better today after a good nights sleep!! Am off to breakfast with M-I-L this morning so not much time. Will reply properly when I get back later......

thank you all :l Love and hugs,
Sun XX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, you are always positive, it is good to see that you are real.Life is not always positive. It is great you have this place to vent.
Houtx, I feel we are similiar, I also teach, and I have gone through two weeks of testing. I feel for the kids, this testing is ridiculous. I came home last evening and curled in bed. I drank way too much. This morning I am so hung over. I hate this feeling of guilt and hate for myself. Stuck, do you have a good hangover cure? I wanted to be at the gym at 9, but don't have the energy to do anything but drink water and eat carbs.
I went to the alchohol counselour, she doesn't know what to do with me. I think I need to get to the reason I drink and fix that.
Oh, well, just sputtering because I am mad at myself and this monkey on my back.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Believe it or not, I don't have any decent hangover cures. Vitamin Water Revive has B vitamins and potassium, which helps. Or a banana and Gatorade--which is probably better than plain water if you're going to be drinking a lot of fluids. And all I want is coffee and cigarettes when I'm hungover. Or a Bloody Mary.

Hope you feel better, Meggie. Feeling awful physically only makes the emotional feelings worse and stronger, and that's sucky. But you will get through it, and you'll carry on, and tomorrow's a brand new day. :l:l:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, I dont really know what to say, I have had a bloody stressfull, anxiety causing, emotional day. I dont know if anyone remembers last year when my uncle died leaving my auntie,(my dads sister) and my cousin went into her house and took over, also got power of attorny (I dont know why there is nothing wrong with my auntie that she would need that) and caused all kinds of upset. Well since then the situation has remained pretty much the same, my auntie has been giving her money although I dont know how much or when but paying her when she has done things for her. By the way my auntie is 87. I found out today that a few days ago she went to my aunties and told her that she has given up 8 months of her life for her, she hasnt like she pops in 3 times a week for 1/2 hour and has to use petrol so she wants ?100 a week or my auntie will not see her again. I know my cousing is a really nasty peice of work so I dont know what else was said, my auntie gave in and agreed to this but was very upset about it obviously. She has said she is taking it from her bank account so there is nothing anyone can do about it because legally she is allowed. I want to kill her, I want to go to the police and tell them she is blackmailing a valnerable elderly woman but that would just upset my auntie more, its a shame she lives in an upstairs apartment because if she was on the ground floor I could at least put her windows in, please dont tell me this would be a bad idea because it would be a first offence for me and she has provoked me, thats if she went to the police because then it would come out about what she is doing. But now as it stands I dont know what I can do, surely she cannot just get away with this. My aunt thought she was doing all this for her out of the kindness of her heart. Two weeks ago I had to go and support my aunt as she was telling her she had to sell her house which is her home since she married and move into a one bed small flat, I told my aunt she cannot make her move if she doesnt want to because she was worried about losing her home which she owns!

I know you all probably wont have any answer for me, thats unless you have legal knowledge but I needed to tell someone what is happening for me, also any ideas of what you would do. I need to do something to protect my auntie but dont know what.

Space x