New here and starting Topa and with a question

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Space, we can grow old alone, together we just need to find a little plot to park our travel trailer, hopefully beside a beautiful seaside somewhere:h seriously, I'm kind of in the same boat, grown children, elderly mother, no other real family members, few friends, working and can never retire, we really need to meet up:h

Houtx, I have to agree with Space and Dizz and probably more, how about some compassion in your voice when you give advice. It also hurts me to see women in bad situations but I also know everyone is doing the best they can at a given time even my daughter who is going thru it also. How about backing off with the harshness.

Dizz, I think you are right to still be willing to be in talks with BF as it has been a complicated situation and the two of you have never really had a real chance to see how it would go for more than a few months, I'm still seeing the good in BF:h

Ok, bye for now, have had a wonderful AF week, what a relief, thinking about taking another AB today and continue this feeling thru the weekend and a few days more, will let you know.

Love to All

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just a fly by as I am out in the garden - the temps are supposed to get into the high 80's today so I want to get some plants out - tomorrow is supposed to be mid 90's - this is crazy for here in May. I will reply to posts later but wanted to say hi and that I hadn't forgotten you all.... AS IF !!

love and hugs, Sun XXX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

This is not a long post. Just thanks Space and Play for your positive words. There is no real talks of him coming here, I just meant if he did, it would make me happy. I don't know what's going to happen except he's going to call me in a bit and we're going to talk. How the simple things can make us happy.

And I just want us all to get along. Life is hard enough. I might still be young but I isolate and count you guys to be among my best friends and to be my sounding board.

So hugs and love to everyone.

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

2nd that Dizz, lets all be kind to each other.
XXX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone. I am feeling much better after a shower !! It was SO humid outside today - I was outside for 5 hours and came in and could NOT cool off. Finally I did and then had a shower and feel fine now !!

OKAY - Houtx, I am going to add my tuppence worth - not everyone is as strong as you. It is easy to say what others should do and I am not sure who you are aiming at when you say that so many of us are not taking charge of our lives. This is our SAFE place. This is where we can be among friends who do not judge - yes, we all might need a kick up the rear end now and then but a GENTLE kick! I am surprised that Buggy came back to be honest. I don't think I would have but that is just me. Please be gentle with us........ :l:l

Space - I am SO sorry about how low you are feeling. I had no idea. Someone surely can help you with it - you MUST do something - I hate the thought of you feeling suicidal and am so happy that you wouldn't do anything 'cos of your children. THANK HEAVENS. You know what it would do to them...... AND to us !!! We would feel that we had failed you somehow too. There is such a domino effect with anyone that does that. Please - see how you feel after your holiday and then think about going to the hospital and camping out and making them take you in. Tell them how you are feeling. But hopefully your holiday will make you feel better and give you a new lease on life. Who are you going with?

You asked if I was having cravings during the week when I am on the AB - I am fine for the first few days - but it gets harder as the week progresses. And yes I do drink too much on the weekend. Not enough to get drunk but too much for what I am comfortable with. Although it was odd today - I had a couple of drinks when I was gardening then came inside to get some lunch - and after lunch had a huge bowl of ice cream - after the ice cream, I didn't want any more to drink !!! I mean - just DID NOT want any !!! The ice cream satisfied the need for whatever the drink does - weird. And I don't usually eat ice cream either. Maybe I need to.

No - I have started the topa again but will continue with the AB too. The Topa takes too long to work for me.

I am glad that you didn't edit your post - although you did edit something - LOL - but am glad that you left what was there - we are here for you dear Space !!

Dizzy - I am SO happy for you that b/f came back and apologized !! You asked for advice - well actually you said you were open to advice - mine is to take it slowly - you and he are never good when you are apart and the sooner you get back together again the better as far as I am concerned !! I am just so happy for you that HE apologized !!

And oh gosh yes - life is so hard - let us all get along here for goodness sake !! Like you Dizzy, I tend to isolate and love you lot here. I check here and consider you all family - I know that family have squabbles but we are grown ups and need to support and be here for each other.

And on that note, I must get to bed. I am really pooped. Five hours in the garden does me in these days - I hate getting old !!!

much love and many hugs to all,

Love, sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun I am going with my two sons, that makes it more important but also more stressful to be taking my agoraphobic son away. But he has always felt better when we have been away before, I just hope the resort I have booked in is not too rowdy for him I have never been there before. I am hoping this break will change things for me, also I up the dosage of one of my new meds next week so I hope that helps as well but Im not prepared to let this go on any longer I think. The reason I have avioded hospital before is bacause the boys need me here which they do but they could make do with my daughter who would stay and if I can get this thing better by going into hospital then I think its worth it.

There are probably two reasons for your cravings getting worse as the week goes on, the first being you have just taken the AB and know you cannot drink, you have also just renewed your decision and have had your fill over the weekend. The second one may be that subconciously you know that if you did drink theres a good chance you would get away with it. Im glad your still taking it, it has made such a difference to you and Im also glad your giving topa another go tho, I hope it starts helping you sooner this time round tho.

% hours in the garden Sun you are superwoman. I dont think you will ever get old you will be in the garden when you are 100

Food does have a strange effect on you and the big bowl of ice cream may have given you a sugar rush so you didnt want any more sugar from drink and filled you up, knowing you Im surprise you didnt have to go and lie down after it like you do with your cheese sandwiich.

space x

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

What a great post, Sunny. But just one thing:

sunshinedaisies;1507548 wrote: This is our SAFE place. This is where we can be among friends who do not judge - yes, we all might need a kick up the rear end now and then but a GENTLE kick!

I'm sure many of us could use that kick--and I wouldn't even really mind it, actually , but I'd prefer it not be up the rear end, ya' know?

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!!! Where do I get off...I don't know!! I should never have shared my impatience with anyone and especially on the subject of marriages. I am caught up in the sad story of a friend and her abusive, controlling son, who has been calling me daily sobbing about what he is doing to her. Her son, mind you, not a husband or partner. She finally took my advice and called the police. Saga to be continued. Then my own sister and her husband...blahblahblah. I know it's hard. I really do...

But I should never have come off as strongly as I did and I apologize to everyone I offended. I can't blame it on too many glasses of wine as I really don't get combative when I drink. Just one of those "snap" moments I never have at school, but after listening to a couple of near and dear ones sobbing to me on the phone "What do I do? What do I do?" and they never do it....I guess I just jumped in way too far on here. Please forgive me, Bug and all of you! I promise I will keep my strong opinions to myself!

Meanwhile, Space, I hope you can find a silver lining somewhere and things get better for you and yours! Diz, I'm glad you & the bf are talking and it's positive. Stuck, thanks for being a kind heart and offering the usual levity we need on here. Everyone, mea culpa, here's the olive branch and I hope the rest of the weekend goes well.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thats OK, HOutx, my therapist, that lasted all about 3 sessions asked me 9 years ago what the most difficult thing in life is. I said the fact that I cannot make people change. I didn't mean that in a selfish way. I had an extremely talented and sweet boyfriend who was ruining his life with drugs and a best friend who was so afraid to be alone that she slept with someone on the first night and became impregnated by a schizophrenic person who is still ruining her life. She thought he was a spiritual saviour... Since then he is still on the drugs and she is still dating losers. And then sometimes just the fact I can't make my brother put down the toilet seat or my boyfriend always text me to say goodnight drive me bats shit crazy.

So, I still think the fact that I cannot help people or sometimes make them see the light is the most difficult thing I have to accept. Its also annoying to live with some foibles. I'm also sorry to hear about your friend.

Buggy, what I just said have no reflection on your situation in particular. I had a friend just yesterday trying to get me off the idea of reconciling with my bf, but he also happens to be an ex and its complicated. We all have our ups and downs, I'm sure your husband just wants you to be healthy and has no clue how bloody difficult it is for us, if I could inject him with a dose of compassion I would in a heartbeat - but in the meanwhile I hope we see you again soon.

:l:l:l

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I'm betting it's OK and all's forgiven, houtx. But if the way the ladies have been running things here lately is any indication, you are going to need to be in timeout now...

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Things are going from bad to worse, I had been declined the booking from the hotel and in panic booked another one with the agent I booked with. I then stupidly read the trip advisor reviews that say our hotel is awful, the rooms are full of ants with peeling paint and there are rats everywhere. I cant change again as I cant afford to so we are stuck with it. I am totally dreading the holiday and darnt tell my sons what we have to look farward to. I was actually vomiting before I have made myself so ill worrying about it. the first hotel declined my booking because I emailed them and asked if they had groups of youngsters getting drunk there so they just contacted the agent and cancelled on me without even answering my question, although I suppose that was an answer really. We can maybe put up with ants but I am terrefied of mice never mind rats. I feel so ill now, why did I even read the reviews after booking.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space, I have some experience with this. Istanbul's hotels were mostly nightmares but the last one took cake, total sh!thole that charged the same as a 4* and had all these lies on their listing.

We were with. Booking.com simply listed everything they promised and then took pictures. We booked into a Holiday Inn and Booking.com refunded us.

If you booked through a non-online agent, send them the reviews of the rats and ask them if they would stay there. Ask them why they. Would promote such a place. Tell them you want to change and if they don't allow you you're going to make a big fuss if anything goes wrong there. You'll take pictures, write to the media, and tell them how low the standards of the properties they represent are. If they are really snooty tell them you have a cousin that works at The Guardian newspaper Trust me, these people have loads of competition and can NOT afford bad press.

For now, try to relax, some reviews are way off base. I hope it works out. X

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks Dizzy, I wil be speaking to them today, I ended up so ill with it all yesterday I dont want to sound to graphic but at one point when I was on the phone with them I was talking on the phone while at the same time trowing up into the loo and needing to poo URGGG. Main problem there tho is we cant afford to book into another place and get refunded

Houxt, its not really my call but I get that this is close to your heart but remember its even closer to Bug's, its her life after all. But as far as Im concerned your not in time out. I am so glad you came back to apologise to Bug and hope Bug comes back as well.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just very quickly to be clear: was totally joking about the time out thing. Just wanted to maybe get a laugh--'cause that's what I try to do. Hope everyone's doing OK. Space, really sorry that you're stressed out about the hotel. Maybe it won't be as bad as people say? Reviews are never really spot-on anyway. Well, here's hoping--thinking of you.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Where'd my post go?

Switch to email if it will make you sound more confident in dealing with them, Space.

PM me their website if they keep giving you shit, I'm a freelance journalist and won't let my friend be conned into spending her much deserved holiday somewhere that some agent was too lazy to screen.

No one is in time out, we just talk things through and move on, or I'd like to think so.