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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    OK – Back.

    Airam – What up – where d’ya go. How are things with the DH boss and I don’t mean dear hubby here people. I mean short form of Richard Cranium. Is he still being a pain in your arse? How are the folks feeling? You? Check in with us.

    Girl – I agree. Don’t sweat what other people are thinking. Truly. Our own thoughts are quite bad enough. You are really quite an accomplishment all on your own. I am impressed at your progress thus far without any aid but I do feel that Topa/Nal are the first meds of choice as far as safest least SE route to take. I tried Nal and then progressed to Topa. Bac will always be a last resort if I ever go to that but doubt I ever will.

    Dad – You too are doing well. Keep up with the board and research – it seems you are taking the best route with checking things out cautiously beforehand. I like to hear your progress.

    Illuminae – Your SEs are crazy. I hope they are tapering down finally. Thanks for the heads up on H4O. It seems like she is Ok now although I don’t get over to TSM as often anymore. How are those E –l-e-v-a-t-o-r-s and E-s-c-a-l-a-t-u-r-e-s going for ya?? Awesome that you had such a great time at your wine tasting cuz you really weren’t sure about that. Just goes to show what can happen when we actually join the land of the living. I wonder if anyone else feels that way with their drinking. I digress from you Illuminae. I just find sometimes that I am so in my drinking “routine” that leaving it to go to a show or a wine tasting or anything from my usual sit here in my house night after night and drink my wine is a stretch for me.

    Anne – Haven’t heard from you in a bit. How are things on the homefront?

    Sun – As usual – little ray of sunshine☺

    Houtx – Buh bye DHG. Ha ha ha . Onward………… and AF days still. YAY!!!!!

    So, I have stuck with 75 mg. 25 mg, am 50 mg. mid afternoon. Average 3 glasses per day with 4-5 on 1-2 days per week. I felt that 25 mg the first week and 50 mg the second week worked better than 75 mg weeks 3-4. WHY? I mean, I’m not complaining here people. This is progress after almost a year on Nal and nada but still………………….

    I will up to 100 next week. I understand that it is cumulative and it is said that it takes 6 weeks to work BUT there is absolutely no AF day in sight – anywhere even on the horizon ladies and Dad and 1 lurker Lo0p. So, dunno. Oh, forget who it was that mentioned hair loss again but thought it was worth mentioning Biotin supps again.

    Hey to all and xo xo.
    Claremont
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    1 year of Nal November 24. Started Topa/Nal October 5

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Panic here

      Okay everyone - this is me - absolutely freaking out! I started taking some OLD Topa about two weeks ago. I was taking the 25mg - lots of them and I know that I had some 50 mg and some 100 mg from a while ago -so took those instead - well - that was from the time when it wasn?t working for me and the doc said to go back and start again at the 25 mg - well I did and had a new RX - anyway - all the cravings are back - I am back to 4 Guinness a night - I have NO tingling and am smoking again normally - something the Topa had also been helping with - I have no word problems this week- it is as if I am not taking the stuff! I am absolutely freaking out here!!! I HAVE to stop on 6th November. I promised myself I would. I just don?t know what to do - I am in such a panic. I only have one Guinness left in the fridge - am on my 3rd - and KNOW that if I had more, would drink more. I can?t believe this is happening. I am going to ask my pharmacist tomorrow where they usually get it from and if they get it from different places. I just cannot believe this!! I know that you all can?t do anything, but I don?t know what else to do apart from vent to you all. I had printed out all your posts with the intent of replying to you all but all this has poured out instead. I feel - gosh, I feel almost bereft! I feel such a failure - I was almost there - I was down to one a night for Pete?s sake. Now I am back to pretty much what I was. And the cravings are back. Gosh I hate this. Where do I go now? I have mixed my old and new prescriptions so can?t even just start on the new. Sorry to go on but I really need to vent. I feel so sad. Maybe on the 6th I can quit anyway. I MUST. I promised myself. I hate AL. Sorry I am not Sunny today. Just feeling really really bummed. Most of all, I feel for Trap - he is trying really hard and hoping for the Topa to kick in and I had told him it will and that I was almost there and then here I am. Real Bummer. Sorry I have let you all down - well, not really - I know that we all do what we can and try our hardest. I just feel totally befuddled by the whole thing. I have never had the Topa go ?off? like this before when I was taking it.

      I will reply to your posts - maybe tomorrow, but not now - not a good time. Take care all of you, God Bless, Love, Sun xxx
      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Oh Sun, Please don't panic. At least you have us. I do hope it starts working for you again and you feel better. Since this is my first time through I don't have any better advice than that. :l

        Clare, SEs are much less today. Maybe because the AL was much less yesterday and I got such a great night's sleep? or just getting used to the Topa? I've only had to listen to the elevators and escalators twice so far following the schedule so not too bad but I think I'm due for them again very soon ;p I've just tried to focus on imagery that might work for me. I've never much believed in hypnosis for me - too much of a control freak - but what the heck - it's been relaxing, again, once i get past that crazy voice and pronunciation.

        My good day continues. went for a walk with the kids and dog, getting ready to carve pumpkins, need to stop checking these boards!! :H

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Illum - what is the pronunciation that you are all talking about on these cd's????
          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Oh, just the goofy way the guy says es-scu-lat-tor and stuff like a very pleeesant stairscase and a very pleeesant el-e-va-tor. Have you not listened to them? It's how he gets you to visualize going down deeper into hypnosis.

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Sun. I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. I don't know alot about topo but I do about meds in general. They do have an expiration date and it does matter where u store them. Call your doctor and discuss your options. So what if you have to start over? There is nothing magic about November 6th. Luv u girl hang in there.

              Illum. It is a control thing. I have not been able to use the CDs yet. I panic when I try. I'll keep at it if u will!!

              As for me. Not doing so well. Depression is hitting in pretty hard. I have never really felt defeated before. But this is kicking my cosmic ass! The real hard part for me is that I consider myself a Christian and this is starting to make me loose my faith. The truth came out to my wife yesterday and she did not handle it well. So that sucks as well.

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Sunny & Trapped Dad -
                So sorry you are having tough times right now. I agree, Sunny, what is "magic" about Nov. 6th? Just do your checking and set a new date if you must. It will be ok. You've done it before, you will do it again. Depresssion kicks my ass too, Tdad...hope yours is just a temporary thing, like mine usually is. I've read TOPA does have depression as a SE sometimes...UGH. Just a few short lines but packing a big punch. Hope alls well where you are.

                I wish it were easy for us all. It's just not...but we gotta keep on. Maybe today make a small change in some way :-)

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Dad and Sun, yes keep plugging! Sun I agree, don't make yourself crazy about the 6th! I made another goof and left my subliminal CD one at work so if I have time today I'm going to swing by and pick it up. I haven't listened to that one in DAYS. I really am trying to stick with the program. At least I got in a good walk yesterday.

                  So I experimented on myself last night and found that my SEs are definitely worse when drinking more

                  I had such a great day after not drinking too much Friday night and going to bed. Really good family time. Ended the evening with the kids carving the Halloween pumpkins, listening to cool music for the occasion... I didn't pour my first glass of wine until right before we started doing the pumpkins, around 6:30pm, then bascially forgot about it until we were done. after the kids went to bed hubs and I watched a show together, then he went off to his office to watch one thing and I was watching a series I have on DVD. Somehow the night became the opposite of Friday. He slinked off to bed without saying anything to me and I stayed up too late and drank too much. Still not WAY too much, but there were several times when it would have been easy for me to stop and go to bed but I didn't. stayed up until 1am or later thinking I'd just sleep in late and then didn't sleep so well. :nutso: We seem to be avoiding each other a bit. hmmm.

                  TrappedDad - back to you. Please elaborate on the truth coming out to the wife. Without going back to your post of your story (thanks again for posting that by the way!!) do you mean admitting that you have a problem at all or that you're doing this treatment? Chin up! you've been through tons and can get through this!! By the way, when I read your story when I got to the part that said you went to college I was like how did that happen when I had seen what all had happened in your life prior to that, so I know you've made things happen when you've wanted them to, among many others.

                  I got some sad news yesterday. My grandmother who is 97 broke her pelvis. She has been very strong for a long time and bounced back from many things, but this might be it since she's been having many other issues over the last year. It's been kind of hard on my mom who's been doing most of the caregiving. Just in a wait and see for now :upset:

                  Well, I need to jumpstart my day. Much love and hugs and faith to all! :h :l :h
                  (okay I know I'm getting crazy with the icons)

                  Illuminae

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Okay - me here back to my usual sunny self! I skimmed off the top ? of the tabs and took what I think are NEW Topa and got the tingles!!! This morning got them again - YEAH. So hopefully am back on track!! It was just the 100 mg bottle that I had poured the old ones in, the 50 mg bottle I have just the new ones in now, so am just going to take the new ones - have ditched all the older ones - but am wondering if that is why it didn?t work very well when I was taking it the recent last time?? Anyway - no, the 6th isn?t a magic number and you will all probably think I am rather odd - but I was meditating and it came to me in my meditation that the 6th was THE day. It was all a tad more complicated than that - but it definitely is the 6th. It sounds weird but that is often the way my life is.

                    Girl - how are you doing? Are you still down to 50 %. Have you decided what to take? I think you were dithering between the Topa and the Bac - or had you decided on the Topa?

                    Houtx - thanks for your comments - I loved working Saturday morning instead of the closing shift - it was really nice to be able to get up early this morning for a change! I generally close sat night so struggle to be up early Sunday but feel I waste half the day if I am not up by 6.30 or so! So DHG is out of the picture eh? Well, I don?t blame you - plenty where he came from I am sure. I did laugh so much though about you having to have 5 glasses of wine to kiss him and all that other stuff - absolutely hooted! I am not sure that it matters when you take the Topa in as much as it stopping cravings that same day - as I said, I think it is cumulative.

                    Illum - you sound as if you are really doing well and thank you for your words of encouragement too. Sorry to hear about your grandmother. That is interesting that your SE?s are worse when you drink more - I had never thought about that. What accent does the guy reading the stuff for the CD have? Is he American?

                    Zack - so sorry you are down - but as you know I think it is great that you have come clean with your wife. It really will help once she gets over being cross! And you are right - I think the Topa that I took must have been out of date but I do feel back on track now. Thank goodness.

                    WHERE IS AIRAM?????

                    WTE - I too ?cheat? when replying - I print them out then go through them - well, sort of anyway - if I have the time, if not then I have two windows open and just pop back and forth - using one for the reply and the other to check on the posts! Yes - that was the feeling - as if I was getting the flu when I was taking too much tops - and the skin crawling feeling - yuck!! And yes, the smokes will go on the 6th as well. I have already stopped soda. That was surprisingly easy.

                    Oh - Houtx - have you read the new John Grisham? The Confession? He is back to his legal thrillers and it was a good one (I thought anyway). Oh and I agree with WTE - if I take Topa too late I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning. So I take my pm dose mid afternoon or earlier.

                    WTE I did laugh at your talk about the phone. I SO agree with you. I want a phone that makes calls. Nothing else - maybe I am just old, but I don?t want it to do anything else either. I had to get a new one as mine was starting to not work - and ended up with one that I really didn?t like but did lots of stuff - then I dropped it in a glass of Guinness (really) after I had had it a month - anyway I went back and asked them if they could PLEASE fix my old one - and it has been going strong ever since - that was 2 years ago!

                    Anne - where are you, how are you and what are you up to? What did you end up doing? You can still come here even if you are taking Bac? LOL

                    2Run - where are you too?

                    Where have they all gone?

                    Clare - how are you doing? You seem to be at the point where I was starting to worry that IT wasn?t going to happen - it will. 100 mg isn?t much in the grand scheme of things. I was way up higher than that before it suddenly worked for me. So no worries. Just keep on keeping on. As the saying goes. Keep calm and keep going. No - Keep calm and carry on - or something like that (got to love Topa). I didn?t see an AF day in sight either. Have faith dear Clare. Have faith!!

                    Anyway I have probably bored you all to tears by now - I am off to make some delicious No-Tuna salad. Think I might go for a ride on my motor-cycle after that - it is a lovely day here and there won?t be many more opportunities for it. Back later - love and hugs to all,

                    Love, Sun xx
                    How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      Sun ? Wow ? so happy you are back to your sunny self. You had me worried for a while there. I agree with everyone else too that Nov. 6 was just a number and putting it ?out? there ESPECIALLY to US crazy bunch ? what were you thinking HA HA. We certainly weren?t going to hold you to it. So, if it comes and goes we aren?t going to notice if you don?t, so there. Glad to hear that the tingles are back ? well not really but, yeah, you know what I mean. I actually got them on the top of my feet for the first time today ? weird. Usually they are on the bottom. Thanks for the encouragement. How ?bout I agree to have faith if you do dear Sun? Oh my gosh ? if you could hear the way the guy says some words on the tapes you would just not believe it Sun ? too funny. Over at TSM they made fun of him for days. You just have to block it out. Amazing that he makes money with his recordings☺ I bought them.

                      You have a motorcycle? What the heck is no tuna salad?

                      Yes Anne ? we won?t give you the boot if you take Bac. Ha ha.

                      And yes, where the heck are you AIRAM??

                      Dad ? I hope that the wife is getting used to things ? why don?t you have her join us? Over at TSM there are lots of couples that are on the boards. She might understand what you are going through or attempting to achieve better if she reads through some of the threads. You know her best. She might go running screaming in the other direction for that matter☺ Hope all is quiet on the homefront. Don?t lose faith. Shouldn?t it be strongest when things look bleakest? Where?s Sassy when we need her???

                      Illum ? what?s going on with you and DH ? all good? I hope your Grandma is ok and not suffering too much. You have longevity on your family like mine. Both my Grans were well into their nineties. If your SEs are worse when drinking more ? that?s kind of a good incentive to drink less. What series are you watching? My daughter got me addicted to Gossip Girl ha. I love it!!!!

                      WTE ? what can the slight shifts be cuz it seems to me that they were there and now they are gonzo

                      Happy Halloween pumpkin heads! Oh I went out to a bar with a friend last night ? I had 3 glasses of wine before she picked me up cuz we didn?t go until 10. I had 2 glasses of wine and said I had enough and that was that☺ I thought that was pretty darn good.
                      Claremont
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                      1 year of Nal November 24. Started Topa/Nal October 5

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Hi Clare - I have never had the tingles on the top of my feet - always the bottom and they are back with a vengeance!! Oh - No-Tuna salad is like potato salad - over here they have tuna salad (like potato salad but with Tuna) well, as I am veggie, I make one with garbanzo beans (chick peas) that is sort of reminiscent of tuna salad - hence "No-Tuna Salad" - bet you are glad you asked aren't you? LOL And yes, I do have a motorcycle - here it is a motorcycle if it is a big one - I called it a bike and they were surprised when I said it was an 850 Triumph Bonneville - here it is a motorcycle! So much for speaking the same language!! I love it! (the bike!).

                        Re the 6th November. I am still sticking to that date. It is next weekend. Trap - does your wife still drink - in your story you said that you both did. Does she still?

                        Clare - re the drinking and your friend and going out - that sounded good to me for an evening going out especially if you didn't go out til 10.00 and to have only 2 glasses after you went out - really good I think! And yes, the shifts are really subtle i think.

                        anyway I need to go and shower and hair wash - I have to be up at 3.45 tomorrow morning - we are setting up for Christmas so I am going in extra early so need to be to bed early! Hugs to all,

                        Love, Sun xx
                        How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Update

                          Haven't posted in a while, here's my update. I went up to 200 mg of Topa on Tues, and I think it was Fri or Sat morning I noticed tingles in my left heel. Just my left heel. Weird. I've noticed it all weekend-kind of like my foot has fallen asleep, but just the heel portion. And the Topa-Dopa has definately kicked in. There have been several names/words I haven't been able to recall. I resigned from my Gold's gym membership, and was thinking about another gym in town but couldn't think of the name. Or was thinking about a major client of mine from when I used to be in sales, only all I could remember is that his name was generall a female name. There have been other instances. I haven't yet told my husband I'm on Topa, and I'm waiting for him to wonder why I'm stupid. If I were him, I'd start wondering if I had a tumor or something!

                          Also, we agreed a week or two ago to go alcohol free 2 nights a week-Sundays and Wednesdays. Sundays, since Mondays are big days for both of us, and Wednesdays, since we go to bible study some Wednesdays, generally eat leftovers rather than "nice meals", so the sacrifice of not having wine with dinner would be minimal. Confession: I haven't been AF when he thinks I have. I haven't drank much, but have had at least one drink on those nights. What does that say about me? Part of it is a control thing-I don't want him telling me when I can and can't drink, I'm sorry, but I just don't. It's an issue. You may remember my post from a couple of Sundays ago. I will NOT be controlled. I will quit drinking/slow down my drinking on my own terms, for whatever reason, that is very important to me.

                          I know I have felt SO MUCH BETTER these past 6 weeks or so at work in the morning. So either I've cut down, or the kudzu is or other meds/vitamins are helping, or something. But I have only had 1 AF day, and that night was very fitful and sleepless. I suppose I drink 3-4 glasses of wine per night. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but generally that's about it. I want it to be less, and I want to have some nights where it's 0. Like I said, I'm now at 200 mg of Topa, so I'm at my make-or break dose...any words of wisdom from those who have been here?
                          Sorry to be so "about me" and so long winded.

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Dunno which med to take....have been a vaca for 3 days and drank way too much.....and I sleep ALL the time! Drank a bottle of wine tonight - not even drunk - but NO vodka tonight - small miracles do happen!!!! Love you all! I see the Doc Tuesday - but I do recall him being a fan of BAC....guess we shall see. Again thank you all so much for your support - it means SO much to me!

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              So good to hear from everyone - again, I don't print out so will try and scroll out and comment as best I can. I am on here 10:30ish on a Sunday/Halloween night so want to keep it short and sweet.

                              Sun - so glad you are feeling better!
                              Ilum - love to hear how you like to stay up late. That was soooooooooo me. Our parallel lives. I was a big howling witch for years...lots of prep out on the front porch beforehand...big glass of Crown under the chair to sip on as the kids came by...neighbors pretty much did the same, so no qualms about it. Just sipping anyway. Never was a bad witch - just enough to soothe the screams!! LOL Good times -

                              SassyLassy - REALLY! I would be the same way! Someone tries to control me and I am going to fight - defiance just because! Even if I agree with them!

                              UGH - I am yawning myself to death now. Haven't made the call to DHG...may see him one more time this week just because I have too much going on. Am concocting the story too - gotta have my ducks in a row.

                              Woo Hoo - I bought an iPhone today!! I am totally not a gadget person - this is FUN!!!! :-))

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                ahhh, so depressed.....not gonna lie I feel like a pathetic piece of crap! I don't want to do anything...just want to sleep, drink, sleep, etc.......I'm just tired of it, tired or everything - I will go on, but I need a better attitude....the AL does not help I know, but what can I do? It's boredom, no kids, easy life, just plain BORED! I know to shut the f up, stop whining, and live my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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