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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Space -
    You poor dear about the headaches!! I hope you get some relief. With regards to your therapy, I think it just goes where it goes. You get to talk about whatever ails you, moves you & is in your heart. Just get your money's worth! It's your stuff, you're paying for it, you should talk about whatever you want whenever you want. Your therapist should be the one who is picking at the golden nuggets and getting you to delve deeper. Slippery slopes of emotions in our pasts. We are fucked up by our fucked up parents who were f'd up by their f'd up parents and on and on. I think everyone - even the truly fucked up - are doing the semi-best they can.

    God - I wish I could go back and redo a lot of the crap I inflicted on my own kids. They turned out ok, I think. But they are both on anti-depressants, have anxiety issues or social issues, migraines, etc. In spite of all that, they seem like happy, well-adjusted, home & parent-loving kids who swear neither I nor their father fucked them up...in fact they don't think they're f'd up at all, but I fear someday it may come back to haunt me even more than it does. Anyway -

    All we all want is to be happy and have hope and look forward to another day and a bright future. Plain & simple. Then all the other shit gets in the way!! lol THX Space again, for the kind words. I wish we could be real friends - go out and do things! We have quite a bit in common. I, too, sometimes feel my chances of ever finding another love is pretty remote. But I haven't given up hope or closed my options or chances of having that happen. I think about it a lot. Am I nuts to be actually quite content alone?? I'd like to have a bf/FB I could conjure up when needed and then conjure away when I was done. (Stuck, any ideas?? LOl) But so far, I'm trying to be positive about Life in general...and not get too self-abusive about my drinking. BTW - with having a cold I had maybe 1-2 glasses of wine then sipped at a throat soothing toddy. Felt bad I couldn't just do hot tea...but, well...ya know. It is what it is.

    Enough about this - Meggie, Bri, FunnyG, anyone else lurking: hope alls well.

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Hey Funny Girl - I guess we just missed each other. First, as far as the sauce, did I mention sugar? I never add sugar as I know most bottled sauces have it already. Yes, I love to ad lib with recipes. I have a close friend/couple who take recipes way too seriously, never deviating, measuring pans and everything - gotta color within the lines. They fancy themselves serious cooks, but being so rigid, I think is confining and I am confounded by it!! Anyway -

      I'm so sorry the TOPA is not working for you!! I don't fault you for bailing - do what's right for you...the struggle with these meds is so difficult. It's such a rocky road. Several years ago when I first discovered there were meds out there to treat AL addiction, I came upon Naltrexone. UGH - it's been a long & winding road ever since hoping one will be the magic pill. Hang in there & hope it goes ok

      XO

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        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Houtx, are you doing the topa? I'd love to hear what your experiences have been like.

        I re-read your post & you're right, you actually said you avoided sugar - sorry - I scan this stuff so quickly I sometimes misread them. I HATE coloring within the lines! Too much - I had to laugh when you talked about your friends who follow recipes so closely - I'm sure they consider themselves hardcore "foodies" . . . .but - if that's what they enjoy - so be it. I'd rather be the way we are - FREE with the food & just kind of going with what moves me at the time. It's about the only thing where if you make a mistake - it's not devastating at all - worst case, you can even pitch the food that you've made if it's that horrible & start over. Not much else in life allows such a quick do-over! Too bad the rest of life isn't like that, right? Enjoy the day everyone!

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Hi Space sorry I'm not a very good yoga buddy. Hopefully it's going well for you, though. I am going to give it a shot tonight before bed.

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Stuck you do yoga? I need to get back into it. With all the new teacher evaluations we need to do something. I have to give the ny state tests and found out some teachers get a 0 out of 20 if they are in the 5 percent. So every year somebody will be a 0 because the scores are on a bell curve
            Enough said, Funny girl, I love topa but it really kills my brain. I don't know the kids names, and can't do my job. I had to stop before I went back to work. I am now trying hypno, I have had 2 sessions. Tonight I was trying to have him make the drink make me sick. I am now sitting her with the drink. Haven't drank much, but it isn't making me sick. Bummer

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              meggie;1558560 wrote: Haven't drank much, but it isn't making me sick. Bummer
              I bet if you drink a whole lot more really really fast you'll get sick.

              Sorry that's a bad joke. Hi Meggie! No, I don't do yoga. That's the problem--but I did tell Space I'll do 10 minutes of yoga every day for 30 days. It doesn't look like that might happen though (sorry Space!). I did just get a sandbag--yes, it's just a bag that holds sand. So I'm trying to get into a routine of exercises with it before bed (sounds lame, but the thing's 40 lbs so it's basically weightlifting).

              Anyway, hi everyone. Hope you're all well. I'm doing pretty much all right, kind of thinking I might really like this girl back home. Sat with the bartender for a long time tonight, talking. She put an offer in on a house pretty close to here, and for some reason asked if I'd be drinking again by Christmas. Don't know how those are related. She hired a new girl who starts tomorrow, and she's already trying to pimp her to me. And I just got feedback in class on a chapter of the novel I'm working on, and that went pretty well. And I owe my advisor a 30 page chapter of my dissertation at the end of the month, which I have not yet started. So there's still quite a bit of work to do here. Still not drinking. Don't know what to credit for that--it's still a choice, all the time for the most part, but not really a fight. So who knows. Just drinking my AF beers and rolling with it, I guess. It is nice to not have to worry about my blood pressure and withdrawal. But the night panics still come and go, and have been coming lately, which sucks. Thought I'd pretty well kicked the Ativan, too, but 1/2 a pill here and there have still be pretty helpful (necessary?)

              Whatever. Maybe I'll just go back to drugs. Weed I could find, but anybody know where the good acid and X are in LA?

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                I do hope you are kidding. Weed is ok, stick to that. Are you working8 on your masters for teaching. I have several fiends I know that are working on theirs. I don't miss that. In California are you following the commom core and the new evaluations. They are enough to make anyone drink or start. We in NY are on a bell curve at each grade level, so every year someone will get a 0 and will have to be on a tip plan if you teach 3 to 8. Crazy.
                So tell us about this girl back home.

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Topamax prescription hurdles

                  My internist of 25 years said he cannot prescribe Topamax for alcohol. Do I need to go to a substance abuse specialist and how will that affect my insurance/medical records? :new:

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    A psychiatrist who specializes in substance abuse would be a good start. Topamax is used for a lot of different things, so anyone who would not prescribe it for "depression" or "anti-seizure" or something like that is a dick.

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      UGH - I wish this site were more like FB where we could just "like" someone's post. Also I reply and not realizing I'm not logged in, it vaporises!! Makes me so mad!!

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Just a quicky fly by post to say hello and I will try to get back later. Sometimes Houxt I think that too, but then I haven't used my FB account in forever so I dontknow about that.

                        Dream I am in UK and my doc will in no way prescribe topa for alcohol. Also for depression and probably seizures as well stuck there are so many other meds now with better track records for those things. I know tho that people in US and other countries have had it off their docs so maybe see another doc, but then it would go on your records. Most people buy from on line pharmacies to avoid that. And I bought it because of my doc not prescribing it. I you are already on other mads tho you will need to check if its ok to mix it. The reason I wont try it again is because I am on so many other meds now.

                        Let us know what you decide.

                        Houxt I would love to live close to you I do think we would be good friends. shame about the massive distance.

                        Got to go for now talk more later.

                        space x

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Hey - hope everyone's well!

                          Space, your dreams are so bizarre - but aren't they all??! I dreamed my cats were being attacked by a badass cat and I tried to come to the rescue...it woke me up in a panic. LOL Stupid!!

                          Things have been pretty good w/ me. Drinking 3-5 glasses of wine depending on when I get home, then retiring to my bed with a toddy to watch a video. Sounds hugely bad, I know, but...it is what it is.

                          I am acutely aware of my age (turned 60 this summer) and what's to come. I feel pretty good about myself all things considered, but still...there are only so many times one should say, "Well, I'm 60 sooooooooooo....." I do not look it nor feel it. But I do worry about what is to become of me if I continue at this rate. I have a couple of friends in their 70s still drinking and partying (more or less on moderate occasions as it occurs to them) and living Life out loud. I admire their ju de voive (??? Love of Life??!!) lol

                          Space- you are so encouraging to so many of us on here. Hope all's well with everyone -
                          XO

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Houtx I do think you are doing well with cutting down on the drinking, it is such an achievement to do so. For some people only stopping drinking is what they want and its wonderful for them to do that but other people don't actually want that or arent able to do it long term and I do think there is often an opinion that is wrong somehow and is failing but that's not what works for a lot of people its finding a way of changing in our own way and finding our own personal solution. It never was my goal to stop drinking completely and forever I know from my many attempts at doing so that its not what works for me, I have drank recently but kept it under control and know I wont carry on doing it for long. I think its since I started seeing this therapist so much shit has started to come up, things I have always thought about but pushed back down to not feel it, over the past couple of weeks I have been so emotional I cant believe it, but sometimes its not just the crying I have been doing but feeling so bad, the only word I can think of is wretched and did just need some small release from it. I also needed a break from the pain I was in and the agonising headaches. Today though I do feel good and am hoping that I am starting to pick up again. Its the nature of bipolar to have these mood swings but mine are now much less extreme than they where before I was diagnosed and given the medication I am on now. Thanks for the nice comment by the way it does make me feel good when any one compliments me nowadays.

                            I have noticed that I haven't accepted that I am 51, I still think Im 50 and if anyone where to ask my age I would say 50 and not even think about it but most of the time nowadays I don't think about my age at all, when I feel well I do feel much younger but when I am ill I feel much older so it really is all about how you feel nothing to do with actual age.

                            Hi stuck I have been a bad yoga buddy to myself and haven't done it for days I will have to start again today Its great you still pop in here Im always glad to hear from you. Not good though about these night panics you are getting, I actually haven't had any for ages there was a time where I would wake up screaming and wake everyone else with me but I have no clue how they stopped either so not much use to you there am I.

                            Hows the hypno going with you Meggie, you are cutting down so something is working

                            Funny girl how are you today, still cooking yummy food. We where supposed to be going out to eat today but now its been cancelled by my son who once again got no sleep last night so I don't feel likle cooking anything at all, some days I love to cook and others I really don't want to and find it a drag. I also don't use recipes, well only for cakes baking mostly I just go along with what I know and add and change things around as I go and yes most of the time it works out fine, if not then I have got the two dogs who will eat anything so none goes to waste.

                            Okay I have been on the phone to my mum and daughter while I have been trying to write this and it seems to have taken me hours so I am going to get off now. I want to try to rashion my time on here I take up way too much of the page and my time when I know I should be doing other stuff.

                            space x

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Online pharmacies

                              Hi Space and Stuck in LA,

                              Thanks for replying to my post of last week. I have been off the boards for a few days, remarkably having only one glass of wine or zero since my last post, and that was before my supplements got to me yesterday! Power of suggestion may be helping my fortitude to drink less. My doc will refer me to a specialist, but I don't want that on my record. Is there a way to get the prescription through an online pharmacy? I thought you still had to have a script from a physician that you faxed to online pharmacy. I am taking other prescriptions for sleep and anti-anxiety (for 2 years) so I would like to get advice from a doctor or pharmacist about potential interactions. Thanks for all your help for this newbie!

                              :thanks: :new:

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                | medical and pharmaceutical articles at goldpharma and River pharamacy (link in ads at top of MWO) don't require scripts or anything - the Canadians are polite that way and trust you when you say you've got one . I've ordered both baclofen and neurontin through goldpharma for a couple years and never had a problem. Actually they've worked so well I've never tried any others.

                                As for interactions with topa, I haven't the slightest. One thing you could do, though, is look online or, if you're skeptical of the Interwebs like I would be, head to the library and look it up in the Physician's Desk Reference. The PDR is what your doc is going to be using, so you'll get the same info.

                                A little unclear if you're going to go to the specialist, or if the referral and appointment itself is what you don't want on your record. If you do see the specialist, you could try being right up front and honest about not wanting scripts for alcoholism on your medical record. I've been to lots of one-time referral appointments, and that's normal I think, trying to find someone who you like and think will fit well with you. They don't even really keep track of anything on the first meeting, so just try voicing your concerns, and if they're not on board with it you can go see someone else.

                                I have not always followed this, but usually the honesty-first approach is a good one.

                                :welcome:

                                Comment

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