New here and starting Topa and with a question

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all. Realizing I've been pretty absent since last week. Things are OK and nothing new really going on. Texting with the girl has cooled off quite a bit since the weekend o' love, but we're still talking pretty much every day.

I've been pretty down since the weekend before last, actually. Can't really blame video games but they're certainly part of the picture. Wednesday I didn't even shower, and spent most of Wednesday and Thursday in bed, playing games on the gorgeous, new TV. But it wasn't all that much fun; it was more like a binge.

Anyway, did get out and go for a couple walks over the weekend, and yesterday walked several miles around the downtown LA "arts" district, taking pictures of abandoned warehouses and checking out caf?s in weird little alleys. Then, well, the new Grand Theft Auto game is out so I played that for a bunch. The thing is that the girl is a total gamer - more so than I am - so we played online and talked for a while on the headsets and a couple mutual friends are also online. So it sounds bizarre, but it's actually pretty fun to play online together in this fake-world.

Let's see. Oh, that's right, met with two professors last week and their both very happy with where I'm at school-wise, so even though I've done NOTHING this past week I'm still in OK shape. Need to do some serious writing this week, before San Diego. Then I've also gotten this "part time" job writing application essays for MBA and PhD students that's threatening to become full-time. I already have 5 students assigned to me and they're all in Israel and I need to Skype with them and start working on their applications, and apparently I need to learn a whole bunch about MBA programs so I can recommend schools where they'll fit. Ugh. Well, whatevers.

Not reading, not researching, not writing really at all. But hey, at least not drinking either, right? Hope everyone's doing well! :l

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Stuck, are you not teaching? Also, do you have you have your masters? I assume you must be a good writer. I will have to contact you about jobs when I retire. The whole teaching world has gotten so crazy, I am going to take my 30 years and run.
I would be escaping into the game world, sometimes it is a way to just get get away from all the pressures.
Still drinking, don't know why it doesn't even taste good anymore.

[Greta]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wish I would have stumbled onto this thread earlier. Hello everyone. I am on my third week of Topamax and tonight will be my first night sober. Last night should have been. I had NO desire for a drink but the way my Psychiatrist set up my program I was supposed to have one drink last night. My husband insisted I have that drink or I would have a seizure. Wish I wouldn't have listened to him because all it did was make me crave another drink, which I didn't have. Tonight I am schedule for 1 drink but it isn't happening. I am on 150 mg topomax. Everyone have a good day.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone

Greta, :welcome:, glad you hear you have a great psychiatrist that is leading you through this adventure. We're always happy to see new faces and would love to hear more about you as you go along.

Glad your weekend of lurve wen't well, Stuck.

I know what you mean with drinking even though the drink doesn't taste good, Meggie, I'm taking a couple of days alcohol free this week to give my poor liver and stomach a break. Not that I've been that bad, just been feeling bloated lately.

How is it going in the world of Sunshine and Daisies? You're so good at supporting everyone else that I sometimes wonder how YOU are.

Funny Girl, will keep my fingers crossed with your open house. I can understand that it must be really stressful. Just switching from a rented flat to a house, timing everything right and then moving everything and now decorating the place is doing my head in.

Space, the house is almost home now. We even had a little barbeque on Sunday despite the storm warnings. I was just craving BBQed lamb chops like my dad usually make them and nothing was going to stop me. We are still waiting for new curtains to replace the hideous ones and we are going to do some hammering and drilling this weekend and that should be it. Will send pics! We are in a semi detached house and the people next door has a sick 2-year-old so we can't make any noise after hubby comes home on weekdays and DIY is NOT his forte, so I have had to live with a very grumpy man for two Saturdays in a row now...

BUUUT tomorrow we are doing a pumpkin carving competition as I've never carved a pumpkin before for Halloween and if its warm enough we'll have another BBQ on Saturday with one of his friends (one that is a lot better at DIY and who actually enjoys it, so I have some jobs lined up for him LOL)

The storm winds knocked down two shopping bags of cooking apples from our tree so on Saturday I will also bake my first apple pie and make some apple sauce to freeze as I know this really yummy chocolate cake that uses apple sauce. I know it sounds healthy but it is actually the best chocolate cake/brownie I've ever tasted.

So I guess my news are I and we've been through a hard time with sickness and moving and stress but with hubby's contract being renewed and my birthday in 3 weeks, we are set to tell everyone about the wedding soon. We're going to London for a mini honeymoon on my birthday where we will take pictures

So there's a lot to look forward to if I can focus on the good and stay positive without giving into depression.

Hi to everyone I've missed, too lazy to scroll down further but I have read everything and you guys are in my thoughts everyday.

Love and hugs.

:l

[Greta]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for the welcome Dizzy Bee. I have no desire again tonight for a drink. I am happy. Talk with you all in the morning.

Greta

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello all -
Stuck, the weekend sounded awesome! Recovering from a sex hangover is not a bad thing. Hope all goes well w/ her! Good luck with the work load & classes. Sounds like you're juggling well.

Meggie - your "treatment" sounds pretty amazing too! So cool your therapist thinks this site is cool b/c, well...it is!! We are!! All very therapeutic - never heard of the smudging or riki...?? Hmmmm. Hope it continues to go well. Funny you wonder why you drink when you don't feel like it. Habit. I wish I didn't feel like it enough to stop. Not even motivated to take AB...I like that AHHHHHHHHHHH feeling too much. More later on this -

Sunny - always good to hear you weigh in. Glad all continues to go well & your garden is benefiting!

FG - I'm right there w/ ya! a bottle a night is not good, but it's better than it was! Hang in there -

Greta - Welcome! As you've realized, we are all over the place on here, but most of us "Started Out on TOPA with a Question", so good luck to you!

DZ - always good to hear from you! Glad you & hubs feeling better and married life is going well!

As for me, my weekend was fine, but ehhhhhh. The guy I was going to approach was more of a loner than ever and very stand-offish from everyone. I did manage to get his phone & email address "just in case I ever got a weird hair & wanted to write him". He lives by himself on the family ranch & when I asked him about his life, he said he had finally arranged things to where he only has to have "human contact once a week". Shit. Forget that. I did have a semi-melt-down with my bad self on the hourlong drive back. It was pouring rain, and so were my tears just being sad.

Hard to put my finger on it. I am not lonely, but all the fat,geeky people in my life are finding love and great sex. I was reunited w/ 2 former loves who have been married 30+ years and complaining about boredom, things not being fun anymore, etcetctetc...made me mad and sad at the same time. Told them THEY needed to get home and woo their wives again, etc. But I just lost it on the way home. It was pouring down rain and I just SOBBED for whatever reasons. Kinda freaked my sister out when I got to her apartment, but it was cleansing in a way and I felt better the next day. No emotional hang-over, thank god. Good visit w/ my 81 yo dad then a nice 4 hr drive back to Houston (from Dallas) where I listened to a book on tape and mentally processed everything.

I took Monday off, so I cleaned house, ran errands and had a nice day and evening. Cooked a big batch of pumpkin pancakes w/ cranberry relish for my breakfasts all this week. Short week & feeling good.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good day to everyone - a wet drizzly one here but at least it isn't cold and frosty having had cloud cover all night !!

Greta - welcome to the thread - lovely to have you here and am so happy that the Topa is working for you. one caveat - do not stop taking it if you feel it has 'worked'. it NEVER works the same when you take it a second time. how are you getting along with it? it sounds as if it is working for you really well. I am curious though as to why they said that you had to have one drink ..... you can easily drink over the Topa - so if your body says no the having one, personally I wouldn't have it !! And why on earth would you have a seizure if you didn't have the drink? It all sounds as if it is going well for you - I am glad too that you have a lot of support from your psych. and your hubs.

Hi there Houtx - SO sorry to hear about your meltdown on the way home from your weekend - but hopefully you are feeling better. Shame that the weekend didn't turn out the way you had hoped though. You sound as if it did you good, and that things are good for you right now.

Space - hallo - yes, I am doing well thanks and not drinking. I don't even seem to want it either which is good. It does cross my mind now and then - but never cravings as such. I feel a lot better too this time - often I feel flat when i quit but am fine this time.

What herbal pills are you taking for sleep? so happy that they work for you - and I totally understand waking up in the night 'cos you are worried about not waking up! Shame about the house hunting - still, will you keep looking?

Stuck - you still sound the same - never really happy - did you feel happy when you were drinking? You keep busy though and the teaching is going well - what is your book about?

hi Dizzy - good to have such a long post from you - you are sounding much better ! Flu takes for ever to get over plus with moving house that in itself is exhausting !! Your apple cooking sounds great - and glad that you didn't have any more damage with the winds apart from lots of apples - you are so lucky to have an apple tree in the garden! I had an apple tree but it was never very successful with apples so we finally took it down and have planted another but it is early days yet.

Glad that you are having some AF days - I don't think I can go AF and then drink - I did drink in UK and it was hard to stop again when i got back. now that i have, I am going to not drink - I don't think I can. It just makes me want to stay drinking. yet once I stop, I am okay - if all that makes any sense ?

Meggie - if the AL doesn't taste good any more, try cutting down for a few days then cut down again - you CAN do this - we all have faith on you and know that you will get there in the end!

I need to get ready for work - have had two really heavy 10-11 hour days and today should be much easier. Got to LOVE Christmas in retail!!

love and hugs to all, Sun XXX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning all from a very rainy place !! I am off today - which is wonderful ! However, I must admit to having THOUGHT about getting some Guinness today - but am gong to try really hard not to. I suppose I am posting as I want some support - telling me NOT to get any .......

Hugs, sun XXX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Stay strong Sunny. Hubby only drinks Guinness in rainy weather so it may be the change of the season getting to you. Focus on how far you've come and don't let the weather get to you. :l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks dizzy - I am really going to have to be strong today! Hubs will not be here from about 3.30 onwards until tomorrow morning - which is I think why I am thinking about some!

Hope all is well,

Sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Has he also stopped or why do you think it's a trigger? Can you go to the movies with someone to distract yourself?

I'm fine, attached our pumpkin carving efforts. Mine is the goofy Tim Burton inspired one with the round eyes.



Happy Halloween everyone

:l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

You did a wonderful job with the pumpkins Dizzy! they look SO good!

Yes, Hubs has stopped too - and I am not sure why him not being here is a trigger. Maybe 'cos no-one would know? Except me of course .....

I am thinking I won't get it now - my daughter is off tonight so she will be home - LOL. I hadn't told her that I wasn't drinking and if she has noticed she hasn't said anything.

thanks so much for being here my friend .....

Hugs, sun XX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sunny - I think your cravings are definitely b/c hubs won't be there, right? My advice is do whatever you want to do. You know perfectly well your drinking was never crazy/out of control. So what the hell if you feel like falling off the wagon?! Do it, if you want - you'll jump right back on, I'm sure after. 2 beers...ehhhhhh

Hope alls well w/ everyone otherwise

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It's always better when no one will find out! I'm trying my damnedest to figure out how to sneak drinks without the bartender knowing...

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

How did it go, Sun? I can't drink at the moment as my tummy is dodgy, wish I could at least feel good because of it. Thanks re pumpkins. What happened to candle, do you know?

Lol, stuck.

How are the rest of you doing? Space?

XoX