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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    DZ - I am sorry I did not say much about your marriage, honeymoon & birthday...I feel like I did say something...would have to scroll back. But you can't rely on this site to remember things unless you tell us. This is not FB. And quite, frankly, you sound a bit pouty. Girl...don't put the blame on us. We/I love you and LOVE your posts, but you have sounded so miffed & entitled...like WE are to blame.

    I just want to say, Honey, get over it! We are not defining your life or vice versa. 'nuff said. I hope you are doing well and happy!! Love you!

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      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      I'm not entitled to anything. Write what and when you like, just hope there will be something to reply to.

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Well, this is a shame. Sun - sorry to see you go - without you here, I feel no real sense of continuity, so I doubt I'll be back. Sounds like this thread is finally dead . . . . .too bad. Maybe when I get more time, I'll come back out & start again in earnest. Maybe under a new thread name - fresh start - you know? Houtx, good to see you back - haven't communicated since, as I said in previous posts, I've just been slammed. Was hoping in winter, when things slowed, I could get back on track & make this more of a priority. Hope to see you all out here again soon. Most likely will come out & read, & just get through holidays as best I can. Good Turkey day to all who celebrate! Enjoy!

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          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Funny girl, don't go away! Sun and Space will be back soon - So will I!! It's late and I just got home from a date...details to follow -

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            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Okay - I don't want to cause any trouble. PLEASE everyone come back !!!!!!

            I am not actually leaving - just not trying to post every day! Which I always felt guilty about if I didn't. No-one much was posting anyway - and I felt as if I was just talking to myself sometimes. Funnygirl - please don't leave - we need everyone we can get.

            Dizzy - don't be cross about things - please - it does no-one any good. I PM'd you - did you get it?

            For those who say they don't post because they are drinking or don't have time - please - it takes one minute to write a quick post - the drinking thing - THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE !!

            I am drinking again - and I hate it. Every day. I was so good before I went to UK and then it all went to hell in a handbasket! I still don't drink a lot - but it is every day which i don't care for. Never have a hangover - but to me, STILL have a problem !!

            Houtx - please post and let us know about your date !!

            Funnygirl - please post and tell us how you are.

            Meggie - you need us (and we need you) when you are drinking.

            I have no idea what is going on with Space ..... I just hope she is okay - hugs Space if you read this.

            I love you all and hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving - I intend to .....

            Lorry loads of love and hugs,

            sun XXX
            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

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              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I'll post more soon. Hope alls well w/ everyone & that your holiday weekend is full of love, laughter & good food!

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                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Ok - well maybe this thread isn't dead afterall. Houtx - glad to see you here - I hope to talk again soon. Sun, maybe we put too much pressure on you - made you the "unofficial" leader of this thread - don't feel guilty by any means . . . .you've done wonders for all here, just by being yourself and caring.

                Dizzy - hope you're feeling better and will join in anytime. Everyone just can't be here all the time - I'd love to spend more time, but can't always manage that. I'll have more downtime soon, I hope.

                Have a wonderful Turkey Day everyone. enjoy! Talk to you soon.

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                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE !!!

                  Hope you all have a wonderful day,

                  Love and hugs, Sun XXXX
                  How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

                    I have been really thinking about this thread and the feelings here.
                    I feel that threads should feel safe. If you have to come and go then that is what "you" have to do.
                    I do understand how close people can become and how they may come to rely on the support here. I feel that if you are feeling sad or put aside maybe a PM would be in order to connect with a few of your closest friends. I think Pm's are easier to address especially if the person you are reaching out to is having their own set of issues.
                    I don't think people's silence is meant to be hurtful or proposing that anyone is ignoring anyone or the thread. People do get busy and caught up in life. It's not always good but what do you do.
                    Love everyone for who they are. If they are not able to post for whatever reason accept that you are here still and you want someone to talk with. PM me. I try to check the boards everyday. I do have 3 kids and a busy life. But I have realized that connection with people is vital to my well being.
                    I may choose not to post because addressing every single person feels exhausting to me sometimes. Not that I don't care very much about each and every one of you- its that the post becomes to long and then I get into the take care of other people mode.
                    To find where we need to be with addiction.. we need to put ourselves first ALL of us need to practice it because I can bet we don't in other aspects of our life. It really does help so you can be there for others.
                    I hate to see someone become hostile but I believe that it happens because they have some deep issues that they need to address.... usually when you get mad its because something else truly is bothering you. I can hardly believe that Dizzy is really mad at everyone here. Maybe she needs more than the thread can give and its up to her to reach out.

                    That is my two cents. I will do what I can do to stay present in the threads I choose.

                    much thanks to all today.

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      HAPPY THANKSGIVING BK .....

                      No, Dizzy isn't mad at everyone - things are fine !! I understood everything you said in your post and it made sense. Thank you for posting. I SO agree about putting ourselves first with addiction - most of us here are women and we all know that we never put ourselves first.

                      I have had such a lovely day - spent it with hubs, daughter and M-I-L and we all enjoyed it. I am SO thankful for what I have - in all aspects of my life. I truly feel very Blessed ......

                      Love and hugs, Sun XXX
                      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Happy Thanksgiving everyone..

                        I've gone and am going through a bad space.

                        bkyogagurl, you are perceptive.

                        My husbands been away for business and I couldn't get out of bed for 3 days. I've been suffering from depression for 20 years with no relief and the thread I've been been relying on is hanging on a thread.

                        I had such a good start at life, now showering and being 6000 miles away from my family is killing me. Just doing the dishes feels like Kilimanjaro.

                        XXX

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                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          DIZ -
                          Glad you explained. I kindof figured you were just taking out your pain & anger on us. I apologize if I made it worse. So sorry you are going through a rough time & hope you'll post here & let us know what is going on. Hope you're feeling better soon!

                          I thought about this thread today, too. Thankful for all of you and that there is this group of souls around the world who share the same problems. I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was lovely.

                          I went to my cousin's house for the 2nd year in a row. There were 21 1/2 of us (baby was the half! lol) It was great seeing everyone and we all laughed and talked and caught up. I ate an overflowing plate of food at 1:30 when we sat down...we took a long walk, but I felt like I was going to pop like an Oompaloopa. Came home about 5, both my kids are spending the night w/ their dad, so I'm sipping some champagne & decorating for Xmas.

                          Yeah, my next post I'll share the story of my 2nd meet-up w/ this man from Scotland. That rich guy just wasn't meant to be. He was all talk & no action. Scottish guy is very nice, love his accent, but he may be too into me right off the bat & that makes me want to pull back. I'm feeling chubby & not sure I want to go down this road...but we shall see.

                          Funny Girl - don't leave! This thread goes wacky occasionally, but we need to be here. Hope all goes well for you.

                          bkYoga - thanks for being the voice of reason among us and trying to smooth things over. Hope alls well w/ you!

                          Sunny - glad you had a wonderful holiday! Wish you wouldn't feel so bad about drinking again. You'll stop again when you feel like it. Hard to stay dry during the holidays, IMO.

                          Everyone - hang in here. The holidays weigh differently on each of us. Hope we can keep this going - it's so therapeutic!!

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                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Good Morning everyone - I am going in to work a little early today to help set up some sale stuff - as usual it is freezing outside and my charming dogs are eating poopsicles! HAVE to find a way to stop them - it is gross !!!

                            Dizzy - I am so sorry that you have been feeling so down - I wish that you had PM'd me - or one of us. I know what it is like to be so far from home - when i first came to USA I felt the same. Especially when hubs went away. SO hard - trust me, I really do know !! Please post more - and Pm - whatever it takes to help you through this hard time. :l:l

                            Houtx - glad that you had such a lovely Thanksgiving - it sounded almost as good as mine - LOL. That was a nice post that you did - so good that we are getting back to normal!!

                            I know I will sort the drinking out one day - I went so well for a while - but as you said, the holidays are not a good time to try and sort it. the thing is I now drink and have no bad feelings about it - like I did before anyway. So, I just need to stop or cut down and try and do it when my head is saying it is okay - which is very hard for me to explain but it makes sense to me.

                            Hope everyone has a great day and keeps warm. It is bitterly cold here. Dizzy - hang in there and stay with us - things can only get better, right?

                            Love and hugs,

                            sun XXX
                            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Just in a bad place but love you all for being you. XXX

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                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Houtx- I was thinking about you and what you said about the men in your life but what caught my attention was that you said you were feeling chubby. Do you think you might be pushing them away because of the way you feel about you? I do that. If I feel fat or ugly I won't connect with people because I'm afraid that is what they see. They don't by the way.
                                Just an insight. I don't know you very well yet so I hope me saying that isn't over stepping.

                                Dizzy- I am so very happy to see you back. It is so hard when you are going thru difficult times to think clearly on how to make things better for you. I feel that I open up more in PM's then on threads but I am working really hard to be open & honest here. That is what it's for and I don't need to hide from anyone. I hope you can share what you are going thru either here or thru PM. I believe that plain ole talking really helps. I am going to take some time to read back thru your posts today to see what is going on.

                                I hope everyone feels comfortable staying or leaving. Always remember to be kind to yourself & if you are not available to post right now that is ok. We will be here when you return. We understand that you are going thru some things that don't allow you to available. Everyone has ebbs and flows.

                                Sun- I will always feel close to you. I feel that even tho I was gone for awhile we picked up right where we left off. That is truly a great sign of friendship.

                                As for me I am working so dang hard on this drinking & it doesn't always feel like I'm making progress. I drank heavily the past few nights. I am taking Naltrexone and am in my 1st month. I tried it a few years ago but didn't stick with it. I was an emotional mess too. I got into some counseling & read a few books so I am feeling more solid emotionally. Now I have to get my drinking in check. I have been better in the way that I haven't blacked out or been really hungover the past few days so that is progress to me. I just wish I could have 2-3 drinks and STOP. Not there yet. I usually don't drink during the week because I want to completely available for my family & their needs.
                                I am going to try not to drink for the rest of the weekend but I am scared I will fail. I usually don't like to drink to many days in a row because my body starts to really feel it. It is stressing me out right now because for some reason I think that the weekend is for drinking. I need to rewire this thought in my head.
                                :l much love to all on this Thanksgiving weekend,
                                Me

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