New here and starting Topa and with a question

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sunshinedaisies;1632359 wrote: Stuck - I too, bought an e-cig but haven't really used it yet - tried it out and that was it. I am going to give it a go though! Soon - LOL Glad that you finished your car and have got it sorted - good for you being able to do that. Can you not sort the AC though? Don't you need it out there?

GO YOU re the fellowship - how wonderful for you.

I had to laugh at the different things that you drink .... what a mixture ! No wonder you get hung over !

Hey thanks, Sunny! I'd say I'd *like* air conditioning for sure, but it's just not worth the cost. My car is about 12 years old - I've had it for 11 - and it has 150,000 miles. So the dropping money into it is a zero return kind of thing. Plus of course I have no idea where I'll be in another year. If I get a job in New York or Boston or another large metropolitan area I might not even need a car, at least for a while, and if I get a job in like rural Kansas or some sh*t I might need a pickup truck or all-wheel drive or whatever. So I want to just keep this car going for the next year and then figure it out. Also, I have no money for either a new car or what it would take to completely fix the a/c system.

Yesterday was hectic. I found out in the morning that I needed some signatures IMMEDIATELY. So I had to run to campus, print some forms (in color, stupid letterhead), and meet with my advisor for his signature and also the chair of the department. Meeting with my advisor was stressful - because I'm so far behind. And, well, by the mid-afternoon I must admit the withdrawal anxiety was starting to get to me. Geez, after only a couple days of boozing. This is bulls***t. But I took 1/2 an Ativan and rode it out as best I could.

The meeting went OK, and brought me back down to reality - it's better to be in the position I'm in, being nominated for the fellowship, than not being nominated, but it's still in no way a sure thing. I guess I'm 1 of 3 people nominated and I think the department usually gets 2. And I have to revise my proposal by today. So I got home and did dishes and cleaned up the place and took out trash and recycling, printed my proposal that needs revised and went to the bar. Ooof. Got drunk, got some actually really good work done, got to see the newest bartender, who's pretty cute not gonna lie. Got home and listened to music and felt sad about myself and my life and passed out.

This morning it's beer and V8 along with my coffee. Going to finish this proposal and a couple other random school things that need to be taken care of via email. And I f**king love LA when it rains.

Oh, right, and the e-cig. I ran out of smokes yesterday and was solely using the e-cig. It was going pretty well - I like the NJoy quite a bit, as I find it's the closest simulation of a real cigarette that I've found so far. I was a little concerned that drinking would break my willpower, but it didn't at first. But then some Marlboro reps came into the bar as they tend to do, and who can resist a pack for $1? So I got some coupons and bought a pack there and am going to keep trying to switch over to the e-cigs, but smoking real ones this morning. Trying. Trying. That's all we can do.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Sunny - yeah, you are extra sensitive to AB, it goes thru me like it does w/ DZ, about 50 mgs/day. So taking 1/2 tab or 125 mgs on Mon. am lasts until Wed pm. I take a few sips very slowly that night, for sure...but it's the perfect time frame for me for right now. I've been moderating pretty well in the days since. Slept like a rock, as usual & feel like catching up from the tossing & turning, "surface sleeping" on those Af nights. I know it's not much, but 2 AF nights seem HUGE to me. Plus I've lost 3 lbs this week. YAY!

Before I forget, hope all you LA/San Diego area people are enjoying the rain & doing ok w/ high winds & water. We are even hearing about it down here. As a hurricane "survivor" many times over, the biggest pain is having your power knocked out b/c of wind & all. Be sure and keep your phone & tablets charged up, ice, flashlights, candles, "other supplies" etc all stocked up. It's a pain to be without power! Enjoy the rain & hope it doesn't get any worse than that!

Stuck - congrats on the nomination and hope you have all your ducks in a row and win that sucker!! You sound like you're a hard worker and very diligent in spite of the anxiety and hitting the bar, variety of cocktails, etc. Love it how you ended the day w/ music. Here are a couple of ones you might like from my iTunes: "Weightless Again" by the Handsome Family (an oldie but an amazing goodie!!) and "Red Hands" by Walk Off the Earth. You're amazing at how you motor thru, really! I'm not averse to porn - l think I've told my experience. You are very considerate to keep the details mum on here, altho I am curious as hell just b/c! LOL

Got more to comment on, but really need to sign off...golfing tomorrow. My favorite thing about these days is I put on a crockpot of something before I leave. No matter how shitty I play (I always have fun), I come home to heavenly smells, shower, pour wine, watch TV, computer...ahhhhh good times! Gum, yes, I do go to the gym most days a week & walk uphill fast on the treadmill, lift some weights, burn some calories, but don't knock myself out, believe me! I read my Kindle on the treadmill and actually feel like I'm relaxing after a day at school with the little assholes I "teach"...ACK, I digress

One more thing before I sign off: I miss smoking! I'm one of those rare ex-smokers that the smell doesn't bother. Not that I can tolerate the cigar bars here that allow both cigars and cigarettes, but i actually smell the occasional cigarette & feel kind of nostalgic! Of course, smoking helped with the weight control too. How many dozens of times did I lose those 10 lbs by having a cigarette instead of something to eat; didn't we all?! WOOOOOoooooooo (long exhale) good times!

XO

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Interesting posts here. My doctor has scared me to death of the AB. But I have been doing reading on Baclofin,, i think that it is what it is. Also, I have l-glut powder but don't know how much to take. I have heard under the tongue, add to water. Any suggestions are welcomed.
I eat healthy, exercise, go to the gym several times a week. I have been doing a colon cleanse and that has made me feel better. I could kick myself on my drinking, it is way too much. I also take many vitamins.
Sun I am taking a class called Emotional Feeling technique. EFT, or tapping. It is really bizarre but it works on the forgetting the past and improving the present. You are to use it with any anxiety, stress, or pent up emotions. Could use it in my class. They use it for PTSD patients.
I wish you all well in each of your endeavors. I am also trying to lose pounds, I am trying to do weight watchers but it doesn't like my gin.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone - SO cold here this morning - wind chill of minus 3 but at least we only got a few inches of snow - couold have been so much worse !!

My BP is slowly but steadily coming down - better again this am !! The red wine must be better for me than Guinness - plus I am not having much - and today will have none.

Meggie - I have heard of EFT - you will have to let me know how it goes - it sounds interesting. With the L-Glut, I took a heaped tsp in an inch of water and to begin with, would take it at least four times a day - then went down to a couple. If I put it under my tongue, I found I would choke on the powder! Much better in water. It really did help. Not sure how or why but it is good stuff.

Houtx - good for you with the moderating and the AB - I wish i could take it but it does not make me feel well when i do - I get very bloated and uncomfortable. So am having to do this without the AB - glad it works for you though. Oh - and just as an aside - since not drinking Guinness I have lost weight! Not that I want to, but I have ! Oh and two AF nights IS huge - there with you on that!!! Now we just wait and see what happens when i stop smoking !! (re weight).

Stuck - how is it going with the e-cig? I just have to bite the bullet and use the darn thing. But while I still have proper cigs, it is hard to motivate myself to use the e one.

Got to get going for work - need to start my car though as it is so brutally cold out !!

hugs, sun XX

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone,
Got back from my class late last night - 10pm - and didn't get to bed til 1 - so a tad sleepy today since I still tend to wake up at 6:30. Lucked out and roads were really good this time despite a bit of snow at the beginning. Soooooo good I was speeding to some good tunes and got pulled over clocked at 135km (that's 84m for you non metrics ). Guy was more than generous and let me off with a warning. phew!

So last week was my first at 100mg on Topa, no real SE aside from some tingling in my hands. BTW - my weight hasn't changed the 4 weeks I've been on it but I've been really making an effort to eat proteins and fats to keep my nutrients up. And have been in a slump exercise wise, as in haven't been at all. My job is somewhat active, but I haven't been running.

I was hoping for a reduction in my craving for drinks on Friday night, but it didn't seem to kick in at all - instead of my "planned max of 3" I had 6 glasses of wine. I did wait a good long while after the first, and then the second one, just in case since I'd taken 125mg of AB on Monday, but I was fine. No issues. From either Topa or AB :/

So my drinking over the weekend was back to a full bottle on Sat and Sun night. Today I'm taking my AB again and going for AF Mon-Thur. See this as some kind of progress at least. Did enjoy the respite from the hangovers the last work week. And the night sweats went away by end of week. Will be interesting to see if they come back tonight after drinking over the weekend again.....

Stress wise, well all the factors are still there, but it's not bothering me as much today. Off to help a friend load up on Ikea stuff since I have a truck and it's my day off. Hubby's taking a sick day. He's genuinely sick, not a sick of work day, so I'll give him some space at home. Feeling a bit groggy and hung over from my late night and bottle of wine, but mellow too.

Sun - he doesn't have any concrete plans if this job disappears. He hopes to get contracts as an independent in the IT end of things, but it's tricky. I hope he calms down a bit. I need to talk finances with him soon, but it's a touchy subject with us.

Meg - L-glut wise, I'm one of those who likes taking it straight on the tongue - a half a teaspoon at a time, and chase it down with a glass of water. I take it between meals four times a day. More often when I'm stressed. It seems to work!

Houtx, are you back on AB again this week?

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

And it can't always be as effortless as it is right now because why?

About 12 drinks in, and at home, and in bed, and listening to a favorite song of mine on repeat a couple of times, and everything is just so *OK* finally. Like whatever happens tonight, or tomorrow, or in the next 5 years, it's all going to be all right.

Some really good sexy-texting with the girl tonight while I was at the bar, and after, and I think I want to be with her for real. We even stopped in the middle of the sexy-texting to talk about how I'm a f**king bastard and unfaithful and generally a son of a bitch. So she and I both know that my history with women is sh*t, and I've been awful to people - I've been an awful person. She knows this, and she seems OK with it. I don't deserve this girl, but she seems to love me nonetheless.

Hey, PM me if you want to hear the sexy-details about everything we're talking about. It's pretty amazing and great, and I wouldn't have dreamt about hearing this stuff from anyone - I've never thought I was the kind of guy who'd be lucky enough to have this kinda thing in real life. So why can I not stop thinking about my wh*re of an exGF?

Whatevs. This girl - the new girl - is *my* girl. I'm going to be her guy and I'm committing to her and I'm gonna be her guy until she figures out what she's done and leaves me. I don't give a f**k, we're together for the long haul.

My brain's been thinking thoughts without me lately. I got some good work done on my diss this evening, but then I went for a nice long walk around the park tonight, and I couldn't keep my eyes up and looking straight ahead of me. Not since I was a little kid did I look down at the ground when I was walking. And I'd then look at the lake, and then up and to the left, and then my brain would ask what the fuck is this all about? This night is so beautiful, with the fountain in the middle of the lake blowing water into the dark sky, and the lighthouse lights glowing into the dark and the moon's crescent hanging there in the sky on its back behind the clouds, and the LA skyline there in multi-colored lights on the other side of these hills here. How is this all so pretty and so meaningless at the same time? How can one person want to walk around this lake and want to put off drinking for so long, and the same time want to go drink as soon as possible, when drinking is an *end*? Like I've done enough today and I want it all to end. F**k it. Sorry. Too much blathering on.

I heart you ladies for listening, I really do. Here's the song that I listened to when I was in my mid 20s. I would drink myself to oblivion every night that I wasn't working, and most of the time I would put this on on repeat and fall onto the couch, crying, and fall asleep that way with this on in the background. Even with the exGF who I'm now cursing for not wanting me anymore, she would sit with me while I cried and hated everything and was nearly suicidal, and she'd rub my back while this damned song played over, and over, and over again.

Hope ya'll are doing well. Love you all. :l:l:l

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDaQfLFHYjI[/video]]Dropkick Murphys - The Green Fields of France (WW1 Slides) - YouTube

[Esncec2002]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

To all in this thread, Thank You. I just received my book and cd's and I am waiting for my Dr to return my call about the Topimax. I am already so encouraged just reading your replies that I feel that I will gain control over what has recently been controlling me. Thank you all and I am rooting for you, send good juju my way as well.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Esncec - not sure if you meant to post here but welcome! Hope your doc comes through with the Topa for you ....let us know!

Gum - lucky you re the speeding ! I have only had one ticket and it was a new cop riding with a regular cop and I know here that if a new cop stops you, they HAVE to give you a ticket - I was doing 37 in a 30 and it was 6.40 on a Saturday morning - I was so ticked !!

I used to get a lot of tingling in my feet and hands - but it was sort of nice as it was a reminder to me that the Topa was working.

BP a tad high right now but have been rushing round getting ready to go and have a bone density test ....

Hugs to all, Sun XX

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Welcome Esncec! nice to have someone new here. Not many doing Topa on the forum - most seem to be going the baclofen route. I'm giving Topa a shot first since I'd heard of it used off-label for both alcohol and bulimia (and I have both). I thought I'd gotten over my ED when I was younger, but when I went through a period of AF for 5.5 years, it came back. Like I just switched vices.
Now alcohol is my main issue again, but I still struggle with the other sometimes when I'm really stressed.

I have the book but not the CDs. Honestly I find this site a better resource than the book, but it's still worth giving it a read through. My experience just hasn't been as "effortless" as the author portrays.

Good luck with your doctor. Mine was very understanding, and I had the book with me which cited the study. Also, I told her topa is being used in some treatment centers for bulimia and binge eating disorders in the states, and she knows my history. As an aside, the first time I heard of topamax was in a book called "brain over binge" - another anecdotal book where a women gets over her bulimia. She doesn't give all the credit to topa, but does say it taught her how to re-switch her brain, where years of therapy didn't. interesting (and controversial of course!).

No night sweats this week on my AF days. woohooo. So 3 days of drinking after 4 days AF doesn't put me back at ground zero. Slept well last night, and feeling optimistic today.

Sun - I imagine your physical job with all that lifting and your gardening in the summer will help with your bone density! good luck

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

I'm back in Sunny and Hot South Africa. Changing hemispheres is not for the faint hearted, my head has been spinning the past couple of days in the sudden 30 degree celcius weather. (Yes Sun, really ) I will try to catch a tan next week, this week was a bit overwhelming.

The flight over was a very uncomfortable 12 hours as I didnt get the window seat I asked for and woke up every time (during the 2 hours I did manage to sleep) someone walked past me to get to the loo.

Haven't done much so far, visited parents, have a welcome BBQ tomorrow, browsing the net on how I have to go about changing my name and passport.

Yeah Gum, AB is different for everyone, probably to do with weight, height and liver function. I usually have a spritzer or a beer first and then wait and hour, if my face doesnt turn red, I know that it has cleared my system.

Stuck, well done on the nomination, fingers crossed. Try not to stress too much about the GF. Yes, it is nicer to live apart but if money dictates you live together, its a surefire way of finding out if she's the one. I was single for years and years because I tend to over think things and didn't want to show anyone my 'real' alkie self, you just be yourself and let her decide if you're the one for her.

Houtx, congrats on the weight loss, good to hear you sounding so motivated.

I have to sort out my internet next week so I have more bandwidth. Was so jetlagged that I left my credit card in the ATM yesterday! Eek! Then I ignored the bank's call as I thought it was telemarketing. It was still active in the machine (I'm used to the machine always spewing it out, not asking 'are you done?'), so I can just thank my stars no one withdrew $2000.

Oh, before I left the doctor said my thyroid was low and upped my dosage and since I'm in South Africa all signs of tummy trouble/IBS is gone... I wonder if its UK Maidenhead's water supply?

Sorry I didn't comment on everyone's posts in detail.

Have a good weekend.

:l:l:l

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey folks. Quiet lately - I tend to post less when I'm not drinking, and I haven't been the last couple days. Will fill you in more soon if I get a chance, but I've been spending my time well, believe it or not, the last few days and actually working and too busy to post. Also getting ready to head down to a conference this afternoon, where I'll be presenting a paper tomorrow morning. So very busy. Hope you're all well.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone ....

Dizzy - lovely that you are visiting SA. How long are you there for? Did hubs go with you? have a wonderful time !!!

Stuck - glad that you are busy and that you are not drinking - good for you. I had a few AF days this week but did get some last night.

Gum - I got my results and was bitterly disappointed - my bone mass has gone down 2.5% and I now have osteoporosis! Smoking and drinking are two of the things that can contribute to it so they both have to stop and done with! Last night I did get some but that was the reaction to bad news - really good thing to do LOL. NOT !!! So i need to get my head together and stop this nonsense once and for all - I have so many reasons to stop now and am going to do it.

I am sorry to hear about your ED - my daughter had the same when she was younger and it is so hard to deal with ! With one of the SE's of Topa being possible weight loss, I am surprised that it is given for ED.

Oh - I agree re the night sweats - after my AF days (and the first AF night was awful with sweats), having a couple last night did not make me sweat in the night - in fact I had the best nights sleep i have had in a while, which was rather nice. then Hubs got up with the dogs at 5.00, letting me have a lie in - it was lovely !!

have a wonderful day everyone,

hugs, sun XX

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all,

What a lovely lazy Sunday morning I'm having. Managed a great sleep in, very rare for me. still in PJs with my coffee and it's almost noon, loving this.

Not much new to report, tomorrow will be my third week on AB to have 4 days AF during the week, and then drinking about a bottle of wine a night Fri-Sun. I stayed steady on 100mg of Topa the last two weeks, maybe I should increase it, see if that makes a difference in the amounts I'm drinking. I'm not noticing any difference in cravings or amounts. Maybe I'm just drinking over the Topa? How can I tell?

I'm pretty happy with the AB and the AF days TBH. Wish I had started that months ago. But maybe tomorrow I'll titrate up to 125 of Topa as well....see if that helps with the cravings. slow and steady.

Dizz nice to read your update, enjoy the sun and family time! Also good to hear you got your thyroid increased, were you feeling sluggish? When ever mine is low I feel sluggish and cold all the time (not to mention it's very easy to put on weight with a slow thyroid). Hope you feel a "boost" from the higher dose. I'm very envious of the 30 degrees. We are finally getting some warmer weather here, a high of 1 degree celcius today, feels positively balmy after this winter. I love the summer heat and it can't come soon enough for me.

Stuck, I hope all is going well, sounds like you're working hard. Good luck with it all! And kudos on the AF days... you seem to just pull out the will power when you need it to get the job done, impressive. I don't mean to minimize the effort, I know the cravings must be there.
How goes the e-cig? I read somewhere California is thinking of banning them from public places? seems a bit overkill, but I don't know much about e-cigs.

Sun - so sorry to hear about the osteo damn. My mom has it, and I guess there are better treatments these days, but still, it's a scary diagnoses. And quitting drinking and smoking at the same time, sounds challenging...but you are certainly motivated, I know you can do it.
Sleep wise, I find it strange that you sleep better on non-AF days. For me drinking disrupts my sleep. So aside from the couple nights of detoxing, once I'm AF I sleep better. My 5+ years of AF proved that to me. This past year of drinking again my sleep's been a mess.

As for the Topa being prescribed for ED, it is a funny thing isn't it? But I would be very surprised if they ever prescribed it to someone with anorexic tendencies or anyone with a low BMI. I've never been anorexic, and my BMI is healthy, I'm short and curvy, not skinny, not chubby.

I think the treatment centers use it because the compulsiveness of binge eating is linked to the same brain issues that addicts have. There have been studies on this - comparing ED brains to addict's brains.

Certainly when I've been in group counselling or other forums for the ED, a LOT of the woman there also have addictions (mostly to alcohol, it being the common one).

I'm sure if I was underweight the doctor would have hesitated to prescribe it. And so far, I'm being really careful to eat well (lots of good fats and protein), so my weight hasn't gone down at all, even though I could stand to lose 5-10lbs of the weight I've gained from drinking and not exercising much this past year....

Those extra pounds used to mess with my old ED mindset a lot, but the Pristiq I'm taking for depression and anxiety is the first AD that's really helped get rid of that. I'm pretty relaxed about the extra weight, and my main focus is getting healthy, as in getting some of my muscle back that the boozing the past 12 months has converted into fat . Speaking of, I'm going to get dressed, have a little run, then do some push ups and sit ups before I return to the couch for lunch!

EDIT: The run went well, really enjoyed it - managed my usual 10k even though it had been weeks since the last one. And I get such a nice endorphin rush. The pushups and situps, not so much. just showed me how out of shape I've become lol! I gave up on them pretty quickly. It was pretty comical, trying to do planks and pushups while my dogs walked around me trying to lick my face. Well I'll try and do some more tomorrow

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh good holy Lord. Yes so I had 4 days AF - I was scheduled to give a talk at 8:30 am yesterday (Saturday), at this conference on material culture and history, or something. I'm still unsure of what this was all about, but my paper was accepted to the conference so I had to go, and talk about Internet infrastructure and how that limits free speech online. I was almost as nervous about waking up that early as I was about giving the talk. I HATE knowing I have to wake up early. It gives me terrible anxiety.

Anyway so I stopped drinking for a couple days, then went down to the conference, which was at one of the Cal State schools only about 30 miles from here. Sat through one of the afternoon panels (about 2 hours), then the 1 hour Keynote speaker. Then went to the crappy hotel under a freeway overpass that I'd booked, and freaked out. I timed my paper before going down, and reading it took about 13 minutes. When I got to conference it appeared that we were given 20-25 minutes, and everyone's papers were really well researched and impressive and mine was stupid. So I sat up late on the bed writing all over the draft I was going to read. And the hotel sucked - there were families living there and it was really loud - and there were giant mirrors that I couldn't avoid seeing myself in and I kept thinking holy sh*t I'm fat and bloated from alcohol and I hate myself.

The next morning I did wake up in time, before my alarms even, and went and gave my talk and people asked really good questions and throughout the rest of the day people came up to me and said they liked it and wanted to talk to me. Though of course this just freaked me out. I hate talking to people. And I HATE public speaking so much it's impossible for me to think I'm any good at it. I had planned to leave maybe around noon, but it seemed rude to ditch out all of a sudden, so I stayed for 2 more panels, and asked some questions from the audience, which is stressful you know since you're speaking up in front of 20 or 30 professors and grad students from all over. But then mid-afternoon I FREAKED the f**k out. I don't know if it was just plain anxiety, or delayed alcohol withdrawal, or what but I was just sitting there and suddenly this *thing* came over me where my head felt funny and I wasn't really present and I was sure I was dying or passing out or whatever. That's usually how it feels in withdrawal but I was on Day 5 AF, so I don't know. I just rode it out for about 1/2 an hour (eternity) until the end of the panel, then when we took a break for coffee I got in the car and left without saying goodbye or anything, and not sure if it was even expected that I would say goodbye, and felt kind of terrible about skipping out on the last woman's lecture but I couldn't imagine sitting through another hour-long talk.

So I got home, and drank 2 beers pretty much right away. Then went for a walk around the park here in my neighborhood, then went to the bar. I sat and talked with the bartender and got pretty drunk. Came home and on the way it looks like I bought a giant bottle of vodka, which I probably shouldn't have done. According to my phone, the girl and I talked for almost 3 hours but I have no recollection of it. According to my kitchen counter and the glass on my nightstand, I was drinking vodka and grapefruit soda, and I had a couple of them.

This "morning" I woke up and checked my phone to see it's already 3pm. I know it's daylight saving, but still, sleeping until even 2 is not something I'm accustomed to, and I'm just here kinda freaking out about booze and about the day being gone already and about not remembering what I talked to the girl about for 3 hours. As soon as I got out of bed I poured a vodka and vegetable juice, took a vitamin, smoked some cigarettes, and started writing this, and now I'm on my second poor-man's Bloody Mary. I just... don't know.

I'd planned on taking today off regardless. Yesterday and the day before took enough out of me, and I'd really been working a little bit on both my dissertation and my novel, along with this conference paper. So I don't feel bad about work, but still. I had planned on cleaning my apartment today - vacuuming and laundry and the bathroom and such. And I just finally had the kitchen sink fixed so it's not backed up anymore, so I should really clean up in the kitchen. The LA marathon is today, so with that traffic there's no way I'm going to PetCo for cat food and treats, like I'd wanted to. Guess I'll just stay in bed, watch a hockey game, look at random sh*t on the Internet, and be hungover and drunk today. Nobody said alcoholism was easy, folks.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there - Gum, you will know when the Topa kicks in .... you will find that you just don't want to have that drink - and even if you pour it, and start to drink it, you won't really want it - at least that was how it was for me - then i got to the point where i wouldn't even bother pouring it. IF you are not having bad SE's, I would continue titrating up ..... just my opinion of course. I am glad that the AB is working for you too.

Yes, my sleep is better on non AF days - but they say that it is the Al and isn't a proper sleep - but when i am AF I wake up feeling groggy - maybe once I get some time under my belt it will change.

I took some benedryl Sunday night 'cos of a rash that I had that was itching like crazy and slept really well - never usually take antihistamines 'cos they zonk me, but I was okay the next day which surprised me.

I lost about 8lbs (I think) when i was on the Topa and found that I easily lost more if I wasn't careful - when i stopped taking it, I gained about 5 back which is fine - as long as my clothes fit I don't care about that. I have always been slim apart from after my babies but lost that weight easily too.

Good for you with the running - I don't ever run 'cos it hurts my knees but walk very quickly - laughed at the dog trying to lick your face while you were doing your pushups and planks!

Hi Stuck - you sound like you get panic attacks just about ! I admire you for doing the talk though - especially when you found out that yours wasn't as long as it should have been - but it sounds as if you handled it all with aplomb !! Sorry to hear about the drinking following it though - not good, but I know that you will bounce back to your AF self !! You usually do.

I have decided that today i am just not taking any money with me to work - or credit card, and that way will not be able to stop on my way home !! Easy way to make the decision not to buy AL ! I have got some AF beer in the fridge and will have one of those when I get home.

Off to get ready for work .... have a great day everyone,

sun Xx