New here and starting Topa and with a question

[Girl1973]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

UGH, I have a private message, I can read it in my email, but not on this forum, I log in over and over and it keep saying Im not logged in!! help!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi girl - it is from me - I have some Nal that you can have - do you have your set up so you can receive e-mails?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone - yes it is me finally! thank goodness for days off! Sassy - your poem was lovely! I have printed it out and it is on my noticeboard!! you are now immortal! LOL

Houtx - seeing as I am wading back through threads, I am answering the one where you are feeling blue - I hope that you are feeling better - as far as what you wrote the other day and the fact that you deleted a lot of it - it it helps any - I read what you wrote and couldn't tell you one word of what you deleted!! Of course, age and Topa may help with that, but don't worry about it. I didn't print it out, which I sometimes do when I plan to reply later. I think all of us here understand anyway - so no worries. hugs to you.

Anne - as far as posting here just when you want to say what is going on with you - that is what this thread is for - we are all interested in what is going on and it makes for more interesting reading than just what is going on with me so please feel free to carry on. In my opinion, you are not being selfish at all. I wouldn't be able to waffle on the way that I do if you didn't would I? I am so sorry about your neighbour though - my gosh - do they know why he died? Laughed at you saying between the wine and the bac you are officially dumb - that is how I feel between my age and the Topa!!

Airam - how are you doing Flower? I miss hearing from you!

Sassy - that drive sounded horrendous!!! I watch very little TV and hadn't heard about the snow - how awful for you. Gosh I suppose that means winter is getting near - yuck.

Houtx - told you I was wading through the posts one by one - hope that your appt goes well for you tomorrow with the heart doc!! please check in and let us know won't you? I too am gobsmacked about your fathers comments - I am not sure how I would deal with it - I think no matter what I planned, it would just come out when I actually saw him. good luck with that. I always felt that my dad was there to support me - you might want to remind him of that (Oh my - I am not trying to stir things here).

Clare! So, you too have stopped the Topa - we are like soldiers falling in battle. And it really isn't willpower at all - it is a little bit of Topa and a lot of mindset! I have come down on the Topa to 200mg as it really did make me depressed at the level I needed for it to be ALL Topa, so I am having cravings - not BAD cravings but cravings none-the-less. Yesterday I was wondering why I am doing this. I never used to get drunk - the last time I was drunk was about 18 years ago. when I do drink, I usually drink about 4 Guinness but the thing is it was going up and it was every night. I WISH I could NOT drink every night. I feel good on the Guinness - the joke is that it really is good for you. I suppose I would like to Mod, but am not sure that I can. I think it has to be all or nothing with me. I went to brunch with my m-i-l yesterday and we were talking about thanksgiving (which we have at her house - Christmas is at mine) and she asked what I was drinking (hubs had told her I had quit soda) so she said she would get some merlot - I told her I had quit drinking and she said "It would be ONE glass - you can have that!!". So I will and I will be fine and won't stop and buy more on the way home. But why can't I be like that all the time? And of course then I won't be AF since 6th November either. Sorry all - I am doing my rambling thing.

Girl - I e-mailed you - e-mail me back - okay?? Hang in there - you can do this!! really. You have all of our support and although it is hard , it really is doable! Hugs to you. Good for you on the one day free from Vodka! go you!

Illum - I am so sorry about your trip - such a shame after you were SO looking forward to it! Pity about the other family too.... Still nice that you might have met and made a friend too....

Beatle - I have seen many of your posts - I feel flattered that you have been following our thread here! I too have no idea how Topa and bac interact. Have you ever taken Topa before? We DO have good vibes and a good family here don't we? But I don't consider you a voyeur in the slightest LOL. Are you doing better? You always seemed so sad. I hope that you are feeling good these days - stay here with us - we can cheer you up!!

AND on that note, I think I am up to date! WHEW! That will teach me to get behind! Love and hugs to all,

Sun XXX

[beatle]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sunshinedaisies;1005116 wrote:
Beatle - I have seen many of your posts - I feel flattered that you have been following our thread here! I too have no idea how Topa and bac interact. Have you ever taken Topa before? We DO have good vibes and a good family here don't we? But I don't consider you a voyeur in the slightest LOL. Are you doing better? You always seemed so sad. I hope that you are feeling good these days - stay here with us - we can cheer you up!!

Sun XXX

Thank you for asking Sunny -- I am MUCH better, thanks mostly to baclofen.

However, I have been on bac for 15 months, increasing dosage *very * slowly because of the SEs. I have managed to handle them because of this slow titration.

I love baclofen and would never consider stopping it (before I can). But I also want to be totally AF. And I am just wondering if combining medications might be a path to that. Just an idea. I know combining different medications for other problems often works better than one medication alone. I've heard people referring to the combination of drugs they take as a "cocktail" -- meaning that the mix is what makes it work.

(Don't get me wrong here-- I believe that one's will and desire to quit is also an essential ingredient in the "cocktail"... but it takes more than that, I've found after years of enduring cycles of total abstinence/total drunkeness.)

I'm also interested in your perception that I always seemed so sad. I am a contemplative and serious person, analytical, but hadn't thought of my posts as "sad". Maybe they are/were.

Anyway, more than toying with the idea of combining medications (I know a number of people on the meds board are combining naltrexone with bac), I just wanted to join the good vibes family here. Giving and taking, sharing and caring.

I'm not sure topomax is even the main theme here anymore.

Thanks for welcoming me into the good vibes family.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

beatle;1004589 wrote: Hi Everybody,

I have been following this thread from day one. Even though I don't take topa and never planned to, I got sucked up in this thread because of all the good vibes and the pleasure of following everyone's ups and downs, shared in a personal and honest way. I feel like I know you all. I feel like a voyeur.

Anyway, I have been on bac for 15 months (!). I have been successful moderating, more or less, but have not been able to have one single AF day. I am happy to have a much less tumultuous life since starting bac, but am desperate to stop altogether.

I'm sure this question has been asked before a gazillion times, but does anyone have experience taking bac and topa together? There are probably threads specifically about this, and maybe someone can point the way?

Still, I will keep following this thread and enjoying the good feelings here (even though a lot of people are struggling -- but aren't we all?). I hope you won't mind if I chip in now and then.

No, of course we don't mind you chipping in, Beatle! Glad to hear from you...have no idea about mixing TOPA and BAC...I'd consult a DR.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Beatle - you see that I love Winnie the Pooh - well, I always sort of saw you as Eey-Ore (sp?) and always just wanted to give you a hug and tell you that everything would be okay. but you always seemed to have lots of folk that were there for you and being a Bear of Little Brain and quite shy to boot, I never actually said anything. But I always really felt for you and your situation. I am so pleased that you are feeling better. That makes me feel good. Of course, I still don't know anything about mixing Bac and Topa, but whether you mix them or not, you are more than welcome here. I am not sure that Topa is the main theme here any more - we just seem to be a comfortable group that gel well together. Of course, any Topa users are more than welcome - we have all used Topa - and some of us are still using Topa (like me) and I hope that those who don't still stick around - I've sort of got used to them and like them.

And on that note, Hugs and lorry loads of love to all,

Sun xxx

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

And that's not all I meant to post: Beatle, I don't remember your posts as being melancholy or anything else. It's good you are committed to BAC. I personally hated it for the extreme mental fog I was in, the weight gain, the somnolence, everything...I am "jealous" so many others are loving it and committed to it, etc. I just can't do it. Guess I am too weak to go AF on anything at the moment just to avoid SEs. Moderation?? YES!!! Am trying every day...sortof. LOL

Girl/Sunny - hang in there!! Much too hard on yourselves.

Shout outs to others we haven't heard from & I can't comment on everything so apologize already! :-))

Yes, went to cardiologist today and admitted on paper and to the DR "my drinking was a problem at least to myself" in last few years....during the course of our discussion. Put down I was on 50 mgs of TOPA & explained why...Although did not go into great detail, he applauded me for doing something about it. He didn't dwell on it, make me feel guilty or act like it was a reason for my irregular heartbeat. I'm wearing a 24 hr monitor w/ little clips/wires all over my chest & boob areas to see how it goes...I'm supposed to write down notes when I feel the thumps or thuds more so than at other times. Fun!! HAHA

Funny, did I mention in previous posts I have a stupid stray cat my son brought me?? Today I took it to the vet and trying to get it into the kitty taxi was like wrestling with a cougar!! SHEESH!!!! My monitor and diary should be pretty entertaining for that half hour! LOL Of course as soon as I got home and let this (what we thought was a 6 month old kitten is actually a 5-6 yr old!!) cat out of the cage...I went for GUESS WHAT!!!! Cheers kids! :-)) What do "normal people" do after a hard day?? I can't do baths, showers or microwaves until noon tomorrow...So looking forward to my sponge bath and sink hair wash!

But seriously after all this, I cannot imagine popping open a Diet Coke after a particularly bad day...
I guess I am doomed.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Houtx - your post made me laugh! How on earth could you mistake a 5-6 year old for a 6 month old kitten? sorry - shouldn't ask that - ignore that!!!! Best way to get a cat in a carrier? Put the carrier on it's end - and pour the cat into it!!

Why were you saying I was being too hard on myself?

I had to wear that Holter monitor thingie one time and had a car pull out in front of me - was expecting all sorts of thumps and flashes and red flags - but absolutely nothing - couldn't believe it! I mean, I almost had an accident (and I don't mean anything to do with the car either!!!) but it showed nothing on the monitor!

Oh - I was talking to BOB (Big Older Brother) and his son is on 600mg Topa daily (2 doses). WOW. That is for seizures. Can you imagine being on that high of a dosage?? 300mg was doing me in.

I like that we are all still here but would like more of the original of us to be still here. WTE - how about hearing from you???? Airam - where and how are you?

Girl - waiting to hear from you via e-mail!!

Houtx - you are not doomed!! You make me laugh! Hang in there. Hugs to you,

Love, Sun xxx

[Girl1973]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yes Sunshine I got your emails - you're a dear! Today was my last day of my depressing job....I'M UNEMPLOYED for the first time in my adult life!!! I love it!!! I only plan a week or two of cleaning and doing projects around the house before working again because idle time is NO good for me...I am working on my Masters but fortunately I have a cosmetology license as well so I am not worried about finding a job. I did cry and hugged all the addicts tonight that I worked with, I will miss them and they were sad as well but overall was truly not for me, and the hours messed with me as well, and it was so depressing and affecting me negatively - so I am FREE! yay! Love to all, Sun - I will email you...:thanks::h

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all!

I'm again at 200mg of topa and my mind is foggy/cloudy all day and I can't concentrate.

My mother is still recovering from the fall she had months ago, and yesterday my father fell down . Apparently he is ok, but at his age one can't be sure. Too much for me.

Other than that, I'm doing well. I've not had any more AF days, but most days I'm drinking moderately, two glasses of wine every night, sometimes less .

I've been working outside of my office and it's not easy for me to post. I'll be back to my office (and to my horrible boss) next week, and I think I'll be able to be here a lot more :l:l

[Claremont]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey there to everyone!! Ok so being off the topa only made my drinking go back up again. I?m not even counting after a year of doing that but I know I am back at 5 glasses a night and was down to 3 most days so the topa was working. I am thinking of starting it again but back to that ?do I want that feeling, do I want to always be taking pills, etc etc.? Just don?t know but think it may have to wait until I am sure.

Hi Beatle ? welcome. Your name is so familiar. Are you over at TSM as well or do I just recognize it from long ago when I first joined MWO? Sadly, I can?t comment on the Topa and Bac either but if you called a pharmacy and spoke with the pharmacist maybe they can advise? Just a thought.

Girl ? Congrats on the new freedom! Maybe this will help with the drinking ? being in a happier less stressful place?

Airam ? Sorry to hear about your dad. I know your folks are a constant worry for you but you are doing AMAZING with your drinking. 200 mg. seems to be a good place for you. How are the SEs?

Houtx ? had to laugh to hear about your wiring. Wondering how BHG is going to manouver around that. Don?t electrocute him. LOL. Nice that you have a kitty for company. I gave my little dog away - as I told you ? and miss her every day. BUT I know that it was for the best. Oh and BTW going to meet that guy that blew me off before next week when I get back. Fingers crossed!!

Illuminae ? OK ? it?s TROUBLE that boredom gets me into. Trust me, I need to learn to behave myself. Thank goodness it was only your sons wrist and sorry that things got kind of spoiled but it sounds like you have a nice family bonding time. Make sure to follow up on the friendship lead. Sometimes those things can fizzle out if you don?t follow up. It would be nice to have someone to ride with.

WTE ? WTF? Where are you girl??

Anne ? check in once and a while will ya?

Sun - Where are you at now? Still AF with thinking about the wine at TG or having a little now and then? You have to do what you want to do. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Seriously, a few guiness a night sounds healthy to me:-)

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good to hear from everyone! The cat is incredibly small and does not look fully grown. I am ready to be rid of the damn thing, quite frankly...it has had a nice 2 week vacation with me and now on Sunday I have an appointment (!!) to take it to the SPCA. No guilt here but my son is doing a number on me. UGH - move on !!

As far as DHG and the electrodes!! LOL, I wore the monitor for just 24 hrs, turned it in today. Alls well, I think. DHG wrote me an email Monday wanting to see me this week. I haven't seen him in 2/3 wks?? and he hasn't called or written except a once a/wk check in thing. So when he emailed, I wrote back and made up a story saying I'd reconnected with a guy from this big wedding I was involved in 2 wks ago...very diplomatic and nice...asked him to call me if he wanted, apologized for tellling him this in an email, blahblahblah. He didn't respond. UGH - I feel minimally bad.

GAWD - am I a bad person or WHAT???!!! I can lie and "break up" with a guy I've slept with a couple of times via email. And take a cat to the SPCA who has slept under my bed for the last 2 weeks. All I am feeling in both these cases is EXTREME RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does that make me a bad person??!! Suddenly I'm feeling a tad bit guilty over my lack of guilt! LOL

I just like my freedom!! I'm a stray cat myself! Plus DHG showed up in the same damn shirt 3 out of 5 times I saw him. Smokes. Smacks his mouth weird. Ick!!

I'm done!! YAY!!

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I want to check in , haven't had time to read everything. Just want you all to know that I'm here, had a near miss stupid incident last night and will give a much better update later. Just want to thank you all for still being here and I promise I will be too.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - just a quick post - Houtx - I don't think at all that you are a bad person - I think that you are tidying up loose ends so it gets them out of your way in your already busy crazy life, in my opinion!! So, once they are done and done with, you can tick them off your list! that is how I would view it anyway! for what it is worth!

Clare - not exactly AF. no, not really - have got fed up with the politics on here re being AF and counting days AF or not. I am good where I am. I feel comfortable. Have taken my signature off being AF for 8 months earlier this year too. I am just going to be accountable to me. I like that idea. How are you doing? I am still on the 200mg Topa and it seems to be good for me there.

Girl- hope that you are feeling good - should be to the P.O. on Tuesday. Illum - what was the near miss stupid incident? Presumably you are okay? Just post when you can - we all have busy lives and just post whenever - it is just nice to catch up when you are able. Today is Hubs birthday and the children are coming over so I need to get going. Talk later - hugs and love to all,

love, Sun xx

[Girl1973]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all! Just a quick hello....I am off to school for the weekend! Yes I have a 1/2 pint with me, and I have my NAL with me as well! Have a great and safe weekend everyone! Hugs!