New here and starting Topa and with a question

[meggie]

That sounds like a great idea. I will need to do something, maybe do the EAT, PRay, Love thing. I can't even blame my drinking on him, I usually hid upstairs and play games on the computer and watch tv. Today is Friday, so exciting.

[StuckinLA]

Today is Friday, indeed. I haven't been doing well with setting limits. I drank all day yesterday and most of the day before. And I bought a bottle of vodka last night and that's never a good sign.

So in a reckless moment of determination this morning, I got up and poured the bottle out into the sink. I don't want to think in terms of weeks or months or even days, but I do want to dry out for a little while. At least until I can get my writing back on track and patch up my relationship.

I'm teaching 1 class this summer, and then they handed me an independent study for a student who needs a class to graduate. That was really last minute, and not much extra money, but it did score some big points with my bosses.

Hang in there everybody. Hugs.

[DizzyBee]

You go Stuck! Quitting takes balls every single time but your job and relationship will improve after a day or two of feeling yucky (at least I do)

Yeah, Meggie, I know about drinking in secrecy in a different room. My husband does that a lot too lately when I have my 3 weekly sober days. Don't let him make you feel bad about it. It would probably be easier for you to quit if you didn't have his dark cloud in the house. And a friend of mine says it doesn't matter, even if you quit and do everything to his standards, he will think of something else.

Hugs

[sunshinedaisies]

Hi everyone - I am sorry all of you are going through so much right now. Teaching is the pits - you know my feelings about how proud I am of you all for doing that - you could not pay me enough to teach!! Meggie sorry that hubs is still so terrible .... why do you stay with him ? I know this has been going on for so long with you and it must be really draining - I am sure it is why you are so tired all the time.

Stuck - good for you in pouring out the vodka. I know that you can quit when you really want to - you always amaze me in your doing that! You will feel a lot better when you are not drinking. I had 2 AF days earlier this week then had 4 drinks yesterday and SO wished I hadn't - I fell asleep and felt awful when I woke up, and it took me about three hours to get to feeling half way okay again - so today I am going AF again.

Dizzy - I know what you mean though when you say about going AF, then Friday or the weekend comes along and AL seems like a good idea again - sorry that hubs is being a bully at times to you. Yes, I bet you enjoyed being on your own in your rental!! Moving is so stressful though - trust me I can vouch for that - hubs and I were having the odd argument and as a rule we do not argue ! However, now we are moved, things are calming down again.

Houtx - great on the summer job, although it would have been nice to have had the summer off ! But as you said it is good money!!

I am still plodding on with the Nal - in it for the long haul and know it is going to work in the end. My attitude to AL has changed with it and AL just does nothing for me - it is just getting the idea that it does to go away now ! Like drinking yesterday - it was such a waste of time for me - spoiled my day and of course I didn't get the buzz at all ! Today I am going AF again, using 1/8 of a tab of AB - that amount does not upset my tummy but I will not drink with even that small amount in me !

Have a great weekend everyone, Hugs, Sun x

[houtx770]

So I'm just talking to myself here & that's ok - yesterday went out and met the guy who dumped me 9 months ago to the day from our encounter yesterday. I went to his house we had lunch at the CC and then played golf. I had played pretty sucky the last 2 nights in practice, but the golf gods were shining down on me and I did ok - lots of solid shots. We talked about all that had transpired...one thing lead to another. Afterwards we were at his house & had some wine...he made his move & started kissing me...

Kids, ok - in a prior life I would've played the game of hard to get, I would've never gone out in the first place, etctetctetc...but at this stage, things are different!! Anyway, he is one of the 2 best kissers EVER & I just succumbed...plus he told me I was the best sex he'd had since college!!!! DAMN - so cut to the chase, I wound up spending the night...

OMG - it was sooooooo fun - so intense. Just like it ever was. But today...no word. I'm sure it's ok - but it would've been nice to get a text. Something. I held out - have not texted him. PLus my phone is fucking up - frozen. So much more to share but it's late here -

Meggie - you guys go WAY too late into the summer!!! But then, your year starts after Labor Day, right? UGH - hang in there! My summer school session will be over when your real year ends!

Hope all else is well out there! DZ - you are such a strong person, so focused! Good things will happen!!

XXXOOO

[houtx770]

OOps - since I started this post, others have chimed in, so disregard the "talking to myself" line

[meggie]

Well, good to see the old clan back. So Sun do you think you are drinking less on the medication. I need to find a new doctor that will scribe it for me. Also, can't wait to hear about
Houtx, I love hearing your stories, you keep me laughing.
Stuck, go for it, keep us informed of your journey.

[sunshinedaisies]

Meggie - AF days are easier, and yes my intake has gone down. it is NOT a quick fix however but am in this for the long haul - it is going to work eventually. I just have to be patient. I had 2 AF days last week and they are much easier to do now .... I never drink more than 4 a day when I do drink too. Just do not want any more. The Nal is working - and eventually will stop this silly merry-go-round - I just have to work with it.

Hugs, Sun x

[houtx770]

I am so happy to see the posts from everyone but so sad for us all too - so many hardships. The guy called me tonight - he's just not feeling it. After our 1 day, no matter how great the sex is, there's some magic thing he's not feeling. Honestly, I don't get it. Of course I am sad...ridiculous. A few tears. But I don't want to waste time being sad!!!!! Plus I feel like I am too self-absorbed on here sometimes. Everyone has other, much more serious issues to deal with. I'm whining about stupid stuff. It's late & I need to go to bed, if I can possibly fall asleep. Melatonin helps. Nite all - hang in there. Laters
XO

[sunshinedaisies]

Houtx - our problems are as big as they are close to us and we all have them - they are just different. So no worries about what you complain about. So sorry about the guy .... I just cannot imagine dating and really feel for you.

Working this week ..... and had the worst nights sleep last night - thunder all through the night, cats had mad five minutes every hour or so, fan was making a knocking sound, hubs snored, I was SO hot, dogs barking at thunder ..... and so it went on the entire night ! I ended up getting up 20 mins before my alarm went off as there was no point staying in bed !

I did drink yesterday, although not a huge amount - had four, and these days when I drink, I have really hot nights - so today has to be AF so I can sleep tonight !!

Have a great week everyone,

Hugs, Sun x

[houtx770]

Sun - hope you get some sleep! Me too - been losing a lot lately. Sounds like you're going to be one of the lucky ones on NAL. Hope so! Hang in there. 4 isn't much, but I know you have your own standards & goals. Go girl!

I've been in a funk the last few days. Played golf last night with the HI, we are friends, but still makes me sad. He's with a former gf as well right now...I'm just feeling the blues with everything. Drinking a few vodka/tonics while I cleaned house, surfed my stuff and now about to turn in. eh. Hope this bummer summer feeling goes away soon. Hate it. Hard to change channels in my head & not obsess about stuff

[StuckinLA]

Hang in there, houtx! Sorry you've been down. Plus the early part of summer is always hard - so much switching gears from school to whatever else. I hate it. Always really screws me up for at least a couple weeks. And I'm even teaching this summer! It's still an adjustment.

Anyway, hope everybody's doing OK.

[DizzyBee]

Hi everyone

I had a three day temp job this week that kept me really busy. The company is nice, the people are cool, but unfortunately most of the work was done via phone calls and I really hate calling strangers. I know its weird and I'll probably do this job again on a temp basis if I'm desperate but it just didn't make me feel too comfortable. I have some other job applications in the pipeline, so hopefully I'll soon get something a bit better.

It's saturday lunch time here and I'm supposed to finish off a freelance writing job and then meet my husband at the house we just bought. I totally overslept until noon, probably because of being exhausted after the temp job, and am now running behind in finishing up, packing, taking the train on a 90 minute journey. All I really want to do is go back to bed and curl up with a book.

I'm glad the Nal seems to be starting to work for you Sun. Sorry about your sleepless night, I tend to ban all animals (sometimes including my husband) from the bed, so I can have some proper sleep. Just kidding, I don't ban him but we have two bedrooms in case one of us are struggling a bit with insomnia/snoring/etc.

I'm sorry that the men are being such pigs to you Houtx, you deserve to be with someone who is comfortable with himself, open, and yet full of life and ready for some fun. Have you looked at other prospects at the golf club perhaps? And all our problems are equal, because we're the ones dealing with it.

Good luck to everyone still teaching and/or doing summer school - let's hope this will be a great summer for all.

Hugs,
Dx

[meggie]

Sounds like everyone is running behind. Two weeks left until school is over, then I am free for a couple of months. However, I do have classes to take. Hope everyone is doing well

[StuckinLA]

Hi everyone. Hope you all are surviving the last push to summer. Things could be better here, but overall ok. Last night the girl and I went out for a few drinks, and we had a good time, but I kind of took an emotional u-turn at the end of the night and picked a fight for pretty much no reason. I'm in a fairly regular 3-4 day cycle these days. AF for 3 or 4 days, then get drunk and then drink again the following day, like I know I will today, and then clean up for another 3 or 4. I'm not entirely sure that that's good enough, but it is what it is. Job rejections continue to roll in, writing is damnably difficult, and the summer class is all right but more annoying than anything. I kind of wish I were a happier person by nature, but that, too, is what it is.

Hugs all 'round.