New here and starting Topa and with a question

[houtx770]

Hey all - not much new or different from me. School is especially grueling w/ 200 students in 8 classes over 2 days. It's crazy. Can't believe it's October already. I drink vodka tonics weekdays, wine on weekends usually and maintaining my usual heavy drinking status. No effort or wish to go AF right now. I certainly applaud you Stuck, Sunny & others who are doing it. Meggie, how are you??

I am still friends with the HI who I play golf with once a week or so, altho it's been a couple of weeks since we have. His friend who stepped in and we rendezvoused briefly...also went back to his old gf for the umpteenth time. I'm so over their whole nonsense. A friend advised me to completely shake things up: go to a different driving range, golf course, gym, grocery store, etcetc...that doing the same thing over and over will yield the same results. I agree - but it's easier said than done!

I'm going to San Francisco in a couple of weeks for my nephew's wedding. I arrive at 8:15 am on Thurs 10/15...thinking of finding a golf course unless someone wants to arrange to meet for breakfast?? Just a thought -

Hope alls well w/ everyone else

[meggie]

I think shaking things up sounds good but it is hard to get out of your comfort zone. I am trying the Nal and have cut down a little. I have been doing it about 2 months and I will see how it goes. If you drink too much on this medication you feel like crap the next day so that is helping. Sun hasn't really been posting on either sites .
Never wanted to do upper grades because of the large number of corrections, I am thinking this might be my year to retire, only 58 but I am so sick of the evaluations and testing.

[houtx770]

Yeah Meggie - school teaching is just the pits at any level. Although occasionally there are the rewards: I got an email from a former student who has just graduated from law school and credited me with inspiring her! Another young man from Korea whose first day of school was 9/11/01, was in my homeroom. He spoke no English...over the course of the rest of the year he became fluent (as most Asians do)...recently posted on FB how my reading a series of books was impressive to him & helped his English, he's been a fan of this book series (Unfortunate Events) ever since. Really uplifting that I have made a difference. Very cool. So in the real world, right now, not too much inspiring me. I keep on doing what I do.

Great for you, Meggie, that the NAL is at least making you feel like shit the next day - as long as it keeps you from drinking as much the night before, right? Not that i'm glad you feel sick! I honestly had no results from it. No nausea at first, which is an indicator it will work...went from 25 mgs to 50 then after 6 months 100. Nothing. It works for a lot of people - and the support group on the TSM website forum was soooooooo cool when it first got started: 2009. I was part of the original group. It does work for some...didn't for me; and caused huge weight loss in "WTE", another friend who posted here for while. She also lost too much weight on TOPA. TOPA didn't do much for me either..and definitely didn't have the SE of loss of appetite & weight loss. My daughter took TOPA for migraines & lost weight. So weird how drugs work - very frustrating I didn't benefit from the anti-craving ones. I had such high hopes. Now, I'm just trying to be ok with myself. All my check-ups are normal, but I know I am compromising my health. UGH -

Anyway ~ I'm the same as ever. No men stories I feel like sharing b/c they're all the same: stoopit!! Inconsiderate assholes.

I'm looking forward to my trip to San Francisco this next week - hope alls well w/ everyone!

[meggie]

I am told that Nal can make you lose weight and I am hopeful that it will help with my 20 pound weight gain. Topa did work for me at 75 ml. I am very hopeful that it will help with me. I have gotten very sick to my stomach with the Nal.
The recognition of students and parents is what keeps me working. I usually love my students and it is all the crap that I cannot stand. Yesterday I decided that I will retire this year. I need to start another chapter of my life. I can sub and make 125 dollars for 7 hours. I hope I am not jumping the gun. So many have come back to long term sub. I am so sick of Cumo and all of his garbage. He is trying so hard to destroy the union and this new secretary of education helped him NY. Why is it that those that don't teach seem to think they can decide how to improve education.
I had all blood levels checked and the liver is fine and also had the mamo and that is fine. But all it takes is that one check up that can change your life. Keep posting I love hearing from you.

[StuckinLA]

I hear you about the students keeping you going, meggie. I don't really have that this term, because this is the first time I've taught more than 1 class. All of a sudden I have almost 60 students at 2 different schools.

I'm supposed to help them write better, but there are so damned many of them and 1/2 of them are not engaged at all. At 1 school I teach a class of 23 who just sit there silently glaring at me, then immediately go teach a second class of 23 who are awesome and talkative and who love participating. It's confusing as hell.

Anyway not sure what I'm trying to say. Just kind of wasting another weekend here. Hope you all are good.

[meggie]

Hey , stuck, hang in there. That is how classes go, you wonder where and how they can be so different. Maybe you can the other group to become engaged. Don't you just hate them. Nothing worse then people staring at you and you can't help but wonder what they are thinking. Tell them to write about it, why they are not engaged. I can imagine that you are funny. I see you as having a dry funny personality. Use that strength. As for me I am leaving, I am going to retire. I love teaching, but I need to do something else. I am so disillusioned.
How is the girl, is she still there. How is the drinking. Thinking of you kid.

[houtx770]

Yeah, Stuck, same as above. I have some classes who are totally engaged and others who are totally unengaged!! But 8 classes/200 students is so totally overwhelming...I am so tired. Your deal is different w/ adults. Meggie, retirement sounds sooooo good, doesn't it?? I'd have to do something else for sure. Houston public school system sucks.

Now
here I am on a Saturday night, had a fun day being busy, going to Fan Francisco next Thursday...alls well!! Hope so too w/ every on here :-))

[meggie]

How do you do 8 classes, you cannot effectively teach and keep track of that many kids. You also do English. That is so unfair. What do you you pay for subs in your area. I think I will hop on some excursions alone and travel to different parts of the world. I am so disappointed with the teaching profession.

[StuckinLA]

Sweet Jesus, 8 classes? That is insane. I am losing my mind with 60 students and I haven't even started grading yet - not looking forward to that at all.

So the girl is still here but not this weekend. She's out of town, and as always I've spent the weekend pretty much just getting drunk. I don't even know why - I'm not anxious or depressed or anything, I've just been mechanically pouring liquor into a glass morning to night.

She asked me to think about what I want from our relationship, but I'm thinking more about what I want from a career. It hit me the other day that I might truly not want to be a professor. So wtf do I do instead? And I'm supposed to be applying for jobs like right now. Eh, maybe that's why I've been drinking all weekend. Whatever, I'll figure it all out one way or another.

Have a good one everybody.

[meggie]

So do you have an education degree. Why don't you teach in the high school. The professor pay I hear is awful. Didn't you say you were writing questions for a tests, why don't you look at state education. You seem like a bright young man, I am sure you can do anything. You have never said anything about family. You will figure it out.

[houtx770]

Hello - My last post for a bit. Looking forward to my trip to San Fran. Stuck, you will find your way. You don't have to be a Prof...every state has testing, so I've heard the admin jobs doing that pay pretty well. With your Doc. degree, you can pretty much do what you want. I would think teaching adults is way better than these pre-teens. I have more students than I've ever had before and barely keeping up. Plus HISD make us administer benchmark/snapshot tests every 3 weeks or so. It is so crazy!! I'm embarrassed for my school board and sick of being a part of the nonsense of this public school system. The tests are way over the kids' heads, not aligned to where we are/ what we're teaching...it's a joke. The kids just feel stupid taking them and I HATE it!!! This system sucks!!! I don't know what the answer is. Eliminate these tests every 3 weeks for starters!! UGH -

My flight to SF is Thurs morning at 6:15 am...I need to get up at 2-2:30 to leave my house at 3:30 to get to the airport in time to park my car, take the shuttle, check bag, go thru security & be there with all the business people who will be there standing in line. My friends tell me to look cute b/c of all the business men traveling! HA - I will be zombie! I may not even go to bed.

But at least I will be out of school!!

Hope all well -

[meggie]

I didn't catch your last post. I assume you survived your trip, and looking cute at 230 am, yuck. I hope you had a great time.
I thought that NY testing was bad, every 3 weeks, that is crazy. Why aren't the parents stepping in and revolting.. We are going to make a generation of test takers. We are suppose to get them ready for the working world and they won't be able to carry on a conversation . I am so sick of all the new regulations. Soon they won't find anyone to go into this profession. It is underpaid and not respected. I am so sick of parents telling me what to do. I miss the days of 30 years ago, even if I had to use ditto machines and walk around with blue hands. Parents didn't make excuses. This years class is difficult because half of the parents don't care and the other won't get out of my face.
Still doing the Nal, don't see much change.
Stuck, a doctor of education can walk into many positions in Ny. Come visit our state.

[houtx770]

Hi Meggie -
The trip was ok. I slept thru my alarm & thus missed the flight; booked another one (KA-CHNG) for $334. It was just hard to have fun when I kept thinking about how much money it was costing me! The rehearsal dinner & wedding was fun tho. Then I got an email the day before I lefy via my crazy-ass principal from a parent accusing me of saying a string of unbelievable racist remarks in class. Incredibly crazy shit! Then the parent googled me, got on my LinkedIn account and read my profile that said "I'd like to get out of teaching and supplement my retirement doing something that does not involve children..."

OMG - the guy was out to get me. The principal set up a conference without discussing anything with me first & I was so weirded out and freaked out and had this black cloud hanging over me the whole weekend. It was just sucky...

So I get back and the conference ended up going ok. The parent was more nervous than I was. His daughter has a fucking hearing problem, for Christ's sakes...he ended up apologizing to me, But I was PISSED at the whole bullshit of it all. I mean, had I said one sentence of what he said his daughter reported I'd said, the principal's inbox would've been flooded and every news crew in this city would've been down here. But my principal can't see the ridiculous and instead entertains the nonsense! What a waste of time...

I'm drinking more than ever. I am just not happy and it worries me. My brain is being fried. Sometimes I'm in the middle of talking and my brain just stops. I can't think of what I was saying or can't get it out. Sometimes I slur or mispronounce words for no reason. It's weird and random and I'm worried about myself. This weekend was a wonderful rainy & stormy one in Houston. I spent a lot of time indoors cleaning house, cooking, grading papers & drinking.

I was supposed to meet this new guy, but we agreed to postpone b/c of the weather. Then we talked on the phone and OMG - he went on & on & on for so long about shit I had to shut him down! He's attractive & intelligent and has many fine qualities, but I do not enjoy listening to somebody go on & on on the phone for an hour! Sheesh! It really turned me off - we shall see what happens in person.

Weekend over - ugh. Hope all well out there! Meggie - UGH about everything teaching. And now my daughter is deciding to get into it!! Where did I go wrong??!! LOL She wants to teach then get her masters & get into counseling. Mmmmmm - ok

Take care

[meggie]

I found myself reading your post with my mouth open. Your principal is suppose to have your back. What was he looking for . I would go to the union and yell age discrimination. It sounds like he is looking for a way to get rid of you. I know that people are using social media to catch the young people, I didn't know that they would even think of us.
Teaching, some days I love it others I am just overwhelmed. They are asking us to do all this garbage, keep the kids engaged, exciting lessons but you better get great test grades. It is a crazy circle. My daughter is in teaching and looking for a job. She needs to get out of NY. She does have her masters and she is a great teacher. However, getting a job in my district may be hard. I have been a union rep and have been actively involved in those matters.
I am looking at a full week and thinking of making a doc appointment. The idea of a whole week seems so tiring. What is the retirement in Texas. I have 31 years and would make 60 percent of my salary.

[StuckinLA]

Hi everyone. Sorry about all that crap with the principal and the parent, houtx. And the drinking. But at least you had fun at the wedding.

And hi meggie. Hope you're doing well.

I'm all right. Drinking every day again but not getting totally bombed most days. Teaching freaking blows and I am swamped with grading. I've never had anywhere near this number of students before. Ugh. And they are such terrible writers. This is supposed to be the 'intermediate' college writing class but they can't even put sentences together.

I blame all the testing in grade school.

Anyway I have plenty of work guaranteed through May, so that's a relief. Still working on tenured job applications for next year.

Busy busy. I'm not sure if I would consider teaching other than college - but it doesn't matter. I don't have a degree in education. My Ph.D. is in literature, so it's pretty much college or nothing, as far as teaching goes. I think.

Well have a good one, everybody.