New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Great to hear Illum - so nice when one actually gets a pat on the back from Hubs isn't it? I am really pleased for me that he backed you on the way you are handling the kids and as for them talking back - yes, that needs to be curtailed so it all worked really well. Re the snoring - Hubs doesn't get into bed until between 4 and 5 most nights but it still bothers me (the snoring) and sometimes I will wake up on the couch and not even remember going there! LOL

Hate that you have insomnia - I am so lucky in that I never have any trouble sleeping! have you tried meditating when you can't sleep? I know if I meditate lying down, I am out like a light.

Hugs, Sun XX

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Everyone.

Just thought I would check in. I am feeling good today. I drank last night but not excessively. Went to bed pretty much sober. Still drank almost a bottle of wine but in 7 hrs. I tried to start off with a beer but it made me so nauseous. I think my beer days are officially over. I am starting my 100mg dose today and am planning on staying on this for a few weeks now as to see what happens with my hair. I have been taking a multi vit with zinc, Biotin, PABA, & a B complex to see if that helps. I would like to be able to stay on a lower dose of Topa and hope that I don't have to go up to the maximum dose. We will see how I do this week. It does seem that I am drinking slower and not getting "drunk" feeling.

DYD I was wondering if you take any supplements with your Topa? It seems that when I do take the extra vits it seems to helps with my cravings. And I can really sympathize with the dried out sinuses. I am using some nasal spray with aloe in it. It seems to helps if I use it regularly.

Sun How are you doing on your dosage? How is your drinking going?

Illuminae So good to hear... I still feel for you as I recognized the rollercoaster of emotions that you ride and I all to well remember the insomnia.. that I no longer deal with. I think he is a good man underneath it all sometimes they just don't know how to express themselves positively or compassionately. You are a good woman for being there and understanding him and he knows that... he really does.

Wishing everyone a great day!!!:l

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

DYD I was wondering if you take any supplements with your Topa? It seems that when I do take the extra vits it seems to helps with my cravings. And I can really sympathize with the dried out sinuses. I am using some nasal spray with aloe in it. It seems to helps if I use it regularly.

Thanks for the note, BK,

When I started, I religiously did all of the supplements, did the self-hynosis CD's, followed the titration schedule for the Topa and really haven't found that any of it has helped. I really haven't found a change in my drinking and I can't stand the SE. I have decided that I am going to wean myself off of the Topa. I am gradually going down from 250 mg and tomorrow will go down from 200 today to 150.

I sometimes read the Bac threads and the SE that those people experience worry me so I don't know if I want to go that route.

Tonight I feel so tired and out of it I just am not drinking at all. I'm proud of myself for that and wonder if once I have one day under my belt if I can just continue tomorrow. We'll see how it goes tomorrow night.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there Bk - nice to hear from you.... I am doing fine - my drinking isn't as low as I would like, I have to admit - but it is always over a period of time and I don't get drunk (never more than four) but I would still like it to be less. If you were a beer drinker - and even more important - beer in cans - Topa makes things in aluminium cans taste odd - I drink Guinness and the first time i stopped with Topa, it was easier because of that - I went off Guinness and drank Kahlua and Milk for a few evenings then it was easier to stop because I wasn't drinking my 'usual'. I used to drink soda - in cans and am down to one a day!! It was an easy way to get off caffeine.

DYD - I am sorry - I seemed somehow to miss your post - crazy when there are so few here anyway - I am sorry that the Topa isn't working for you - so sorry! I do understand how the Topa can make you feel and I do notice a slight difference but then when i was off of it, things didn't change much so maybe it is my age - heaven help us all! Anyway - I wish it was doing something for you. hang around here and let us know how things are going with the hypno okay? Again - I am sorry I missed your post - still not sure how I managed that!

I have to get to bed - I worked the closing shift tonight and am opening tomorrow - need to be up at 5.00.

Hugs to all, Love, Sun XX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey gals, late night check in before hitting the sack. I am in Charleston for a quick business trip. Very excited about meeting some new people and growing my sphere of infulence. Also just glad for a peaceful break away from home, though the weekend was good.

We spent Saturday cleaning out the garage - DEEPLY. Got rid of a bunch of old stuff and also found some old memories and got organized. Then my son went for a sleepover at a friend's and we got to have some quality time with just our daughter which was really nice. I think she needed that! Hopefully that will minimize the emotional outbursts.

Take care all!!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning to you - hope everyone is doing okay - Girl - how are you? Illum - hope your business trip went well. DYD - have you had the next hypno session yet? How are you feeling? Bk - how are you doing on the 100 mg dose? Will be interested to hear...

Have to get ready for work, but just wanted to pop in and bump us up a tad.

Hugs, Sun xx

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sun,

No, my next hypno appt. is next Tuesday. They're spaced out every other week. I wish I could have it already!

I sure wish there was an easy way to just not drink. I drank last night. I was hoping that with one day not drinking that I could go ahead and skip another night but I just really felt the urge in the evening so I gave into it. And before I knew it, there was the wine bottle empty. And then I felt guilty about it during the night. Do the rest of you feel guilty as you sleep? I wake up during the night and feel guilty or dream about it.

I did feel loads better yesterday. It was either only taking 50 mg. during the day and/or getting a good night's sleep the night before but I didn't feel myself dragging and like I had to have a nap in the afternoon. That felt great.

Are you feeling less desire to drink, Sun?

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Got home from my trip late last night. Had a good talk with hubs, stayed up waaayy to late, but it had a happy ending if ya know what I mean :H LONG overdue!!!!

Guess he missed me!!!!

Very good business trip too. I was really feeling tired all day, but luckily I had so many meetings it was hard to let it bring me down. I have a moderate day tomorrow and then a pretty fun weekend coming up.

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I posted this big long post and when I went to post I got kicked off.... grrrrrr so I haven't had time to repost...

Anyhoo... Illuminae yeahhhhh... its so nice to feel the love. glad to hear you got a warm welcome home.

DYD I used to feel guilty ALL the time after I drank and would practically beat myself up all day the next day. ... quite a dis-service to myself anyway. I think that alone contributed urges to drink. No self acceptance for me anyway. I don't feel guilty any more I try to accept myself for who I am and not be so hard on myself. I try to think of myself as the good person I am who is working on some issues.

As for me... I am on 10omg and am feeling the tired-ness and cognitive slowness of Topa but I am noticing the craving decreasing. Yesterday I really didn't feel like a glass of wine? I was really starting to wonder if it was going to kick in then yesterday I only poured a glass out of habit, I think. It took me most the evening to drink it, I did drink a little more but I only had 1/2 a bottle. I never leave half a bottle. We have a big weekend ahead of us so we will see how I do. We have a couple dinners and I am hosting one so that one shouldn't be a problem as I will be cooking and servicing so I will be busy.

At least I am not craving a glass right now. Great day to all.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

So I have decided that I'm pretty okay drinking at the level that I am for now and I just have too much other stuff going on in my life to worry about keeping track of topa doses and worrying about SEs.

I still don't have my car back from the accident, still stressing over my husband's job, still doing great in my job, my chiropractor is really hooking me up with more than that (massage, acupuncture).

So I have decided (as of today) to stick on just the Naltrexone for a while and this other new vitamin regimen I just got turned on to (via that fantastic Women's conference i recently attended) and other health/wellness stuff like this acupuncture and things.

I've also been reconnecting with some friends via facebook and other chat a lot and even talking with more which has been really helpful for venting and stuff. One is a little dangerous (one could refer back me making comments about being naughty) but it has been really a huge relief valve so I guess I am justifying that.

Seems this is a bit of a deserted forum again lately huh?

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Illum,

It is a little echoey around here lately.

Can you tell me more about the naltrexone? I got the feeling that is used more for opiates and was concerned that it could go on my "permanent record" and perhaps make it more difficult for me to get insurance in the future in the event I had to get insurance on my own. I had the impression it's used more for heroin users. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Does it help you? How much do you drink when you use it regularly? Do you have any SE with it?

I've been reading more on the other forums and the SE of bac makes me wary. I'm still stepping down on the Topa. My Dr. said I can go down 25 mg every other day so I'm now on 125 mg per day.

I see her on Tuesday and want to see how successful she'll think we'll be with her therapy but I also thought I could get Dr. Amiesien's book to read more about Bac even though it makes me nervous after the SE I had with Topa.

Sun, where are you? It's cloudy without you here.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi DYD and Illum and Bk - I am here. Umm, re the Topa working - it is hard to tall a difference - I am going up to 100 mg tomorrow though and I hope to see some difference then. Sorry I haven't posted - cute re it being cloudy without me DYD! I was sort of off the boards for a few days - just had a down time and find it hard to post when I am down. But I am getting back up there again - can't keep me down for long.

Illum - how long before you get your car back? Do you have a rental? I tried Nal once and didn't see a big difference - I am going to stick with the Topa and try really hard this time. I get so fed up with this whole thing. BK - sounds as if it is kicking in for you - very subtle though isn't it? I MUST take note of it when it does that to me - it is too easy to drink over. I should have stayed where I was and stuck to my one or two maybe? Anyway too late now - I am going back up again and will make it work. And I agree - there is no point in beating yourself up over drinking - it doesn't help us at all.

DYD - as for dreaming about it - yes I do - the other night I dreamed I was out somewhere and had asked for a Guinness and they gave me champagne. I did NOT want the champers and went back and kept on at them to give me the Guinness - in the end I found a hidden one (!!) and tucked it away in my pocket! LOL

Anyway, I will be back again soon - hugs to all,

Sun XX

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Popping in on ya again, Sun, DYD, Illum and Bk ~

So relate to all that is posted here. I am, for the first time in my life, going for a month AF.

One month ago, I was binging and vomiting. I'm so afraid I've ruined my health completely that I got scared straight, I suppose. So I thought I'd share what it took for me to get there, if you want details you can read my thread under the Meds forum. I'm on baclofen about 25mg unless I am really anxious and craving then I add ten or 25 mg for that one night. It gives me sleep apnea but I sleep like a rock. I couldn't do the high dose protocol due to my blood pressure spiking - there's no way I am going to be on hypertensive meds since my teens and screw it all up by stroking out NOW. I'm also on a diet (hcg) which is serious stuff, and I'm actually committed to it. I feel like I'm at the end of a long road and I have to make my way back to who I'm supposed to be, even if I only get halfway it will be HUGE. So I'm AF now, don't promise I will always be AF, but I'm amazed to be AF five days tonight. I'm on the diet for a month, so I'll share my progress and bumps in the road on my thread if you're interested. I'll check in to see how you guys are doing too. Sounds like you're all working hard at it too. :l Thanks for sharing on the board here, it definitely helps to know you're not alone in your daily struggle.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi DYD, Naltrexone is where I first started out post traditional rehab on this journey. The approach is called The Sinclair Method and there is a book, just like what started this site. There is also a site for that method that I was active on for a long time. General consensus is that this method works pretty well for people that want to control drinking, not usually ever as fast as the book states though, but still pretty darn good.

So I've been on it for a really long time. It truly gave me my life back from the deep depths. I still drink and stuff but I don't black out, don't drink my lunch, major wack stuff like that. So that Nal got me there. When I started Topa I thought I might want to go a level farther. So far it hasn't made much difference but much of that has far too much to do with the stress in my life. And I'm just so happy to not be drunk or hungover all of the time and the Naltrexone got me to that first level.

And it's way simpler than Topa or Bac. You just take it 30 min before drinking EVERY TIME!!! There is a bit of a ramp up with a little of SE's but nothing like these other drugs. If you want to see some cool results go on YOUTUBE and look for "bentsm" or also you would be welcomed on the similar support site to this one which is

thesinclairemethod.com

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good job Brunhilde! Keep it up!

Sun, glad to see you back and hope you are on the upswing! Regarding my car, the repairs just FINALLY got authorized in Tuesday, and they said 10 days to 2 weeks after that. And yes, my insurance is fantastic (thank god finally getting my money's worth eh?) and I've had a rental this whole time.

DYD I feel like crap. I thought I posted the response to you about Nal right away yesterday and I logged on to this computer late tonight and realized I never hit SEND! In any case, check it out. I'll even send you my copy of the TSM book if you want. I don't need it anymore. If you want me to PM me your address.

I had a fantastic weekend with my family and friends. Most especially tonight with my second best friend in the world (Patrick) and his family who are in town. Had them over for an early evening BBQ and had a BLAST! All of our kids got along, our spouses got along (never met before and he and I have been friends for 20 years, he's been married for about 16 of those, me 12). Ended in a fantastic night of Rock Hero with the kids and adults all participating.

I am doing well. I'm excited about this new direction with just the Naltrexone and vitamins. I am resuming my workouts, work is still rocking, and I am managing the stress of my husband's situation with the help of my chiropractor and another special friend (that get's us a bit into the naughty department) but that is pretty private.

I also had an amazing emotional morning today when I was cleaning out our spare bedroom and ran across these old boxes of sentimental things. T-shirts and yearbooks from college, old photos... then I hit the emotional wellspring....

old letters and poems from the two past (super serious) boyfriends in my life that I thought I would marry, which is why I never threw them away. It was emotional in a lot of ways. A bit sad for what I had lost, a bit happy for knowing how much love I have had in my life.