New here and starting Topa and with a question

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bruun, good for you for being AF and recognizing that you're getting into a zone where you need help.

BKY: LOVED the poem, and you sound SOOOO much like me! My drinking was at it's all time worst when my husband was leaving me alone all the time. Working late, happy hour (after hour) every Friday, so I was always getting stranded with the kids on my own.

I do work though and we both have very demanding jobs, but at least through that I get a lot of my adult time in. The good news for me it that once he finally realized how badly I was drinking and how much I wanted to cut back he changed his habits and started being around more. We're not the best communicators in the world, but at least he's not leaving me all alone so much any more and we started doing much more stuff together as a family. We're also very lucky in that my mother in law lives in the same town as us and often will take our kids overnight on the weekend allowing us to go out on dates and spend time together.

And my wine is go ingrained as my evening relaxing activity too. and I like it. I'm very sympathetic to your plan as it is very similar to me. I have lost weight and started working out again so that makes me feel not nearly so bad about indulging in what I love. Sometimes I stay up too late and drink too much but I've really not gotten to the hang over mode in a long time so life is pretty good. Good luck with your efforts!!

[Girl1973]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I go through phases posting on here......so that must mean I feel like sh*t. Just moping and feeling sorry for myself. Same ole' crap here. Hugs to all of you guys!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WOW - so much to read back on and no time this a.m. - got to get ready for work - am taking the 100 mg dose and seeing the V-e-r-y slight reduction in desire but so slight it is easy to drink over. Will need to change time of day i take 2nd dose though 'cos I am finding it hard to get up in the morning!! Had forgotten about that! Girl - good to see you again, despite the circumstances!! Need to get ready for work - will be back and read and post hopefully this evening - have a wonderful day all! Lovely to see so much posting I don't have time to read it all!!! YEAH !!!

Hugs to all, Sun XXX

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bruun I am sorry to hear of your finance trouble I think that sort of stress would be difficult to fight and go AF good for you. Are some of your health issues due to alcohol if it's NOMB please just say so. I hope you feel better.

Illuminae sounds like we do have quite a bit in common...
Sometimes I wonder if I did work if I would drink as much? Not really an option right now though. I wish we had someone to sit the kids more often. Having intimate time is so important and much needed. You know what I mean. Time to talk and connect. My husband has been so preoccupied lately that it is really hard. We are planning a trip so that should be fun.

my dose on Topa is making me so tired I have decided to go back down to 100 mg. It seems when I have wine at night I function so much better the next day. Its like a relaxant for my mind. My mind doesn't race at night and doesn't race the next day. I almost wonder sometimes if I might have ADD. I feel more productive after a night of drinking. I don't drink in the morning or even crave a drink in the morning. I don't know. I know I am making excuses to drink. But just like you said Illu~ its just such a part of my schedule but I do consider getting back in shape.

Sun~ I drink over the Topa too. But I do think it keeps me from getting drunk. If that means anything. I still drink quite a bit but not as fast. I used to be addicted to exercise wish I could get that back. But with that I got pretty thin and my family thought I had anorexia which I didn't. I have never been able to turn down food. :H

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi BK,

I'm a couple days behind.

How old are your kids? Any chance of developing friendships with other Moms? I know it's so important to feel connected to someone.

I also know how comforting and relaxing it can be when you get your alone time and can sit down for a glass of wine (or two...) at night. It's definitely comforting to me which makes it hard to just give up.

I can also relate to your fatigue. I finally feel good again after taking my last Topa pill yesterday. I felt so awful on that stuff and am so relieved to be done with it. I guess I would have felt different if I was having the benefit of it making me drink less but I didn't get that and only got tired, stupid and felt like crap. So, I finally feel human again, hallelujah!

Now I have to figure out what to do to help me with my drinking.

I saw the psych yesterday and really wasn't very impressed with her. I got the impression she hasn't really worked with alcohol dependence issues before. She spent a fair amount of time flipping through her books looking for scripts and telling me that there really weren't that many for alcohol addictions. Talk about inspriring confidence! I think her plan was just to do therapy with me but I've done a ton of therapy so I'm not really looking for that now. Not that I can't always work on myself but I'm looking for some of medication or something that will make it easy. I don't know where to go next. Do I look for another doctor experienced with alcohol addiction? Bac scares the hell out of me. Nal? I don't know.

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi BK, my health issues are due to genetics. Hang in there. I'm doing better today.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Gosh - so much to reply to - Illum - I would love to read what you wrote - I enjoyed your writing so much when you sent it last time!! I look forward to getting it! And yes, the Topa must help in some way 'cos I do stop drinking rather than just keep going - well, never really had a HUGE problem in that regard but it does help!! And yes, both hubs and I drink - he drinks way more than me - in fact last night my daughter called and I said she was interrupting a conversation her dad and I were having about who would die first - him or me - I smoke, but he drinks way too much!! She couldn't believe we were joking about it!! And as far as what your hubs is like - I had my 'list' of physical attributes before I met him - after I met him, I changed the list as he was the total opposite of my list of physical stuff!!! LOL

BK - sorry you feel way down on your hub's list of priorities - I know how that goes - so you have been AF for a few days? That is awesome!! You said you are putting on weight - is that with the Topa? Most people lose their appetite with it.... Are the SE's getting any better? As long as I take it early enough in the day I am fine - I don't notice the sleepy bit in the day but if I take it at night I am tired in the morning. I think re Hubs, that most women feel that way - their day doesn't stop when they get home from work - when my children were little I didn't work out of the home - I was home with them and Hubs would come home and sit - or play with the kids and I would still be going - it felt as if I never got a 'day off'. But it all worked out - maybe I changed my attitude and started doing things that interested me - and also asked him to do more with the children so I actually had some alone time just for me and that helped. We have just celebrated our 29th anniversary. Probably have what would considered to be an odd marriage - he does his thing and I do mine but it suits us both and we are best friends.

Bruun - I am sorry that you are getting stressed out due to work and etc! Stress of course, really makes us want to drink! How is the diet going? Oh - 99% of the things we worry about never happen!! Have you managed to get an appt with anyone? DYD has been seeing a hypno - but it doesn't seem to be going well - my doc wants me to see someone but I am really leery about doing so 'cos I think it would be so hard to find the right person. I am so pleased to see you posting here - it is great to have more folk here and I love hearing how things are going for you. You seem to be really determined though and I feel your struggle!!

Illum - I agree - my Guinness is like your wine - an ingrained nightly event. One that is so hard to break!! All I am trying to do right now is to lower the amount - I have gone up to the 100 mg this past Monday so we shall see.

DYD - I am sorry about your hypno - no, I agree - seeing her go through books wouldn't inspire much confidence! Oh gosh - at least she could have done that before you came into the room!! I am sorry that the Topa didn't work for you - it doesn't seem to be helping much of anyone here - I mean, it did work for me last year so I am going to keep going with it and hope it works again, but then I don't get the SE's that much! What are your plans now? Have you read the alan Carr book, The Easy Way to Control Your drinking? It is a good start. In fact, I read that in conjunction with the Topa and the book helped push me over the edge to stopping.

I have to get ready for work - haven't replied as thoroughly as I really wanted to but it is already 6.15 in the morning and I need to leave in about 15 mins so must get going. Talk later all - hugs to you and have a super day!!

Sun XXX

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Happy Friday Sisters of MWO!

Sisters not as in nun, heheheh. I know you married women are up to no good all the time. Or you would be if your husbands would vacuum the house or something that turned you on. Just kidding.

So I'm not nearly as organized as some of you, like SSD, so I hope you don't mind my style of reading your posts and then posting in general.

Regarding the hypnotherapy, I'm reading a book that I can't say I recommend yet, but it's by John Kappas who also wrote a really cool book you all might be interested in, regarding your marriages/partners and how to work within them to get what you want and to give your partner what he wants. Amazon.com: John G. Kappas: Books
This link lists all the books by the author. The Relationship Strategies book was done privately or by an amateur outfit, but if you can get past that, it's great. You can manipulate your relationships/figure them out to a greater degree than ever. I've never read anything like it. Check out the reviews for more info.

DYD, I went to a hypno who was really crappy, and was very disappointed some years ago. I'm looking for a hypno/psychiatrist/psychologist again too but also feel like I may never find a good one I can really use.

Did anyone here experience hair loss on topa? I lost alot. If you did, did it come back? Also, I'm thinking of Naltrexone, does anyone have experience here? I know topa isn't really doing much for you all by Sun's post.

Have a great day and a low AL evening! :h

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi! DYD how are you? I am really sorry to hear about your therapist. I would not go back. That is terrible. I agree with Sun~ I think she would try to be more prepared or at least give you guidance on finding someone else who is.... I would definitely look into finding a counselor or therapist experienced in alcohol abuse. How is the hypno going?

My kids are 12, 9, 5. They keep me busy but I really enjoy them for the most part. I love homeschooling them, its the part of my life that I excell in believe it or not. I never thought I could do it. But its really rewarding for me anyway. I do have a couple of really great mom friends that I talk with. They know my situation and try to keep tabs on me. Sometimes I just get a little funky. Marriage is work not a fairy tale, I should know that by now.

Glad to hear you are feeling better off the Topa. I am wondering. I don't remember being this tired last time I was on it. poop. I will survive.

Sun I will eventually find something for myself and I am sure that will help. I used to do more for myself but it was causing issues. long story. My husband and I just went through some very difficult times. As marriages do. You have to work on things and when there are so many variables it takes some time. I know I am sounding vague but I have to write you a book to explain.
29 years congrats. that is inspiring and awesome. only on 12.

Bruun just wanted to send ya a :l and hope you doing well with your AF. And yes I have lost hair on Topa. I have been using the generic Rogaine this time. That was one of the major reason I quit taking it the first time.

I keep feeling like I want to go AF for awhile but when the evening comes around I just want to have a glass or bottle. I put my bikini bottoms on today...... YIKES :shocked: little more cellulite than last year...did I say little.....
I keep trying to tell myself its just a part of aging but alcohol makes me lazy too.

:l BK

[Otter]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bruun

I am not sure what is going on. Are you on Topa or Bac? You seem to be posting on the Bac thread.

I have read some of the posts here and it does not seem that Topa works very well to stop drinking. Hair loss?

Hmmm....

I don't get it.

I don't know why anyone would be scared of Baclofen. You can start at a low dose and some people find it works at 30 mg a day which is nothing.

I think the problem with medications that don't stop the drinking urge is that it is the alcohol talking and making you think it is ok to keep drinking. Until you become indifferent you don't realize that it is the alcohol talking and not you.

Just interested really, we tried Topa and it had no effect.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Otter - welcome to a fellow Brit! Maybe Bruun likes the company of us here! LOL We are talking about all sorts - Topa included!! Didn't realise that we had to stick to a certain topic on a thread!

BK - hi, gosh, you do have your work cut out for you don't you, but it must be really rewarding. I was a Montessori teacher many years ago and worked with both my girls before they started school. But I know it can get lonely. And yes, marriages do take work - Hubs went away for a year to Korea and when he came back, he said I had changed SO much and that I didn't need him any more - I had become independent!! So the relationship changed a tad but we changed with it and life went on.

Re losing hair on Topa - as the others here know, I lost hair with chemo, and when it grew back, it came in thick (it always was anyway) so although I might be losing it, I am not sure if it is a significant amount or not - I have so much I honestly don't know!

Bruun - had to laugh re your comment about hoovering - Hubs asked me where the hoover went the other day - it was out in the kitchen and he went to put it away - and didn't know where it went !!!!!! ROTFL My fault I suppose..... as for us married girls up to no good all the time - yeh - right !!!! Are there pigs flying right now????

Lovely to see you all here - hugs to you,

love, Sun XXXX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

BKY - my kids are 10 and 7 and it will be 12 years for us too next month.

For those of you giving up on topa and worried about Bac I really would try nal. If you want more info and don't want to wait for the book, go to YouTube and search for TSM you can find quite a few videos posted on it, including success stories.

Went to a lovely happy hour last night with ladies from work. Rekindled a friendship and we have sworn to do more things together and also get our husbands torture over a dinner. That will be nice!

On the road with my family now off on another camping/motorcycle riding weekend. Should be a lot of fun!

Hope you all have a good weekend

Illuminae

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh and I forgot to say I also got a good chuckle over the vacuuming comment, and I'm with Sun....

Us married folk don't seem to get up to monkey business quite as often as you might think

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Otter,

You really don't know why anyone would feel a little apprehensive about bac? Every time I look at any post about bac, I read about the serious SE that people experience. And it seems like it's worse for women. It would be nice to quantify the percentages of negative SE vs. the benefits but I haven't seen that anywhere. Mostly I just see people struggling through it until they hit the switch.

As someone that just got off of a drug that had SE such as sleepiness, stupidness, nasal issues - I'm not in a huge hurry to get the jitters, fatigue or whatever else I've read people experience. Fortunately, I didn't experience hair loss.

If my friends noticed a change in me, I wonder what my colleagues at work must have thought?

Can't you see why some people may hesitate to jump on the bac bandwagon?

If I'm missing something, I'd love to know. I don't think it's because I'm in denial. After reading the MWO book I joined this forum, bought the supplements, found a doctor, got the Topa, got the hypno CD. I'm definitely committed. And there were things that I did before I even read the book to get to this point.


I don't get it.

I don't know why anyone would be scared of Baclofen. You can start at a low dose and some people find it works at 30 mg a day which is nothing.

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

So, I'm reading around more on all of the posts and I find this one from Tiptronic on bac:

I stayed at that dose for two weeks, at which point the daytime somnolence was so bad that I caused an accident in rush-hour traffic. I started tapering down at a cautious rate of 10mg every 3 - 4 days.

When I keep reading stuff like this, it scares me!