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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Hi ladies! So sorry I have been away for so long! Glad you all are still here posting though.

    I really don't think I can address everyone but I will say DYD I am very happy that you got the Nal. As for me it did kick out my cravings very well. the really inappropriate drinking stopped for me. My nightly habits however remain,and I accept that as part of my life. Like Sun, my hubs hated it when I stopped drinking. It was too much a part of us. But I get stupid WAAAYYY less.

    Speaking of the hubs, since I last checked in with you all he got laid off. We had been stressing about it for a while, figuring it was coming, so it was almost a relief when it was over, especially since he got an AMAZING severance package. We have many months of coverage for him to figure out what to do next. But to add stress, I am a federal government employee and I was facing the possible shutdown. So until yesterday I was also freaking out about the potential of both of us being out of work at the same time!
    We've had our ups and downs throughout this, but had another big down Thursday night. I was trying hard to be affectionate and stuff and then we ended up in a gigantic fight about my apparent lack of parenting skills when it comes to our tempermental daughter, then he started giving me crap about staying up late...
    I also have been drinking a bit more lately because of all of this stress and so then he attacked me about not remembering all of the details of recent late night conversations. There was no way I was gonna win this one!

    so was pretty upset that night, then he was a typical guy, acted like nothing happened in the morning (oh he was drunk BTW, that's when he loves to pick fights).

    That next day we took off for another motorcycle riding/camping weekend (just got back today). Our neighbors came for the 2nd time in a row and we had a lot of fun. the gal Laura and I really bonded. I even told her about you all and our site. I dummed it down a bit but she was soo cool. She was saying she was looking for some sort of social forum to participate in.

    she and I did get wasted that first night though, but it was fun and a rare occurrence. Our husbands thought it was funny and not negative. Certainly different than my hubs giving me shit for staying up late and drinking on my own. this was at least social!

    I have a WHOLE lot of travel coming up, personal and professional. I will not hardly see my kids for about 6 weeks! Here's the breakdown:

    Romantic weekend this coming one, riding up the california coast with hubs on his Gold Wing. We stay the 1st night at a lovely hotel and bought the package with wine and massages. Next day proceed up to the bay area and stay with my best friend from High School. then Sunday, ride the whole way back to san diego.

    Monday I fly to Washington DC for two weeks straight. A week of important meetings and the 2nd week in a class. In between I get to jet over to Pennsylvania for a day to see my VERY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD! My colleague roommate, my maid of honor, etc. We don't talk or see each other nearly as much as I'd like, but in our hearts we are still best friends.

    also during this trip Easter falls, and another dear friend is having me over to share it with his family since he didn't want me to be alone in a hotel. Very sweet.

    So then it gets even more crazy. Hubs and I have been signed up for this big motorcycle ride in Nevada around the grand canyon for months, so it is happening in the middle of all of this. I actually fly from DC to Vegas to meet him the last week of April, do the riding over several days, then the following Tuesday fly back out east to Norfolk for another series of work meetings. I come back home that following Friday, am here for 5 days, and then out again to Hawaii for 16 days for my Navy Reserve Duty.

    SHEESH!!!!

    It's kind of hard to be important sometimes. I've never ever had a schedule this aggressive before though. I just hope everything stays okay at home. I love traveling and my work but it's a lot at once.

    Especially when there seems to be a lot of strain on our lives already! Well I will do my best....

    Sorry so much about me! Just too much going on to keep up with everyone.

    Big Hugs to all, you are amazing and strong women trying to do the right thing!!!!

    :goodjob:

    Illuminae

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Very quick update - sorry I am not replying to anyone but wanted to let you all know that I am definitely feeling the Topa - my desire to drink is lessening - I am still drinking but when i reach for that next drink, the urge isn't as strong - I really think about it so the magic is happening ! No time for more - and will be out of touch for the next day or two, but just wanted to touch base and let you know.

      Hugs and love to all,

      Sun XXX
      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Hi there!
        I was on this thread waaay back when it was first started. (Hi Sun!!!) It's been a while! I'm back on topa for the second time. The first time it started to work but then I drank through it and then I think I ended up actually drinking more than I was before I started!! Anyway, I'm up to 75 mg this week and it seems to be really having a better effect this time and I'm trying to listen to it, so to speak.
        Quick - I'm a stay at home mom with two small girls. I'm absolutely fully functioning...love my littles to pieces, spend a ton of time in the gym, love to cook and be outdoors with my girls and oh, love my wine. :d Ugh. Just wanted to pop in an say hello and see how the old thread was doing. How many of you are actually on topa?
        :thanks:
        "Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them. Every day begin the task anew." -- St Francis de Sales

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          2Run - Hi there! Welcome back! So good to see you here! I laughed when you said 'hi Sun' - yes, I am still here! I am part if the furniture I think! It is good to see you back - without reading back - why did you quit last time? I have been up and down and am working my way up again - I am up to 200 mg a day now and am feeling the effects but HAVE to listen to it!!! It is good to have you back with us - we have had a few other folk join us - although we have also just sort of become a chat group which I LOVE. Although they have been very quiet of late - WHERE ARE YOU ALL????? Most of them have started with Topa and it didn't agree with them but they liked it here (who wouldn't???) so stayed! (although not lately!!). So good to have you back. It is easy to drink through - you DO have to listen to it!

          Hugs to you and great to have you back!

          sun XX
          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Welcome back 2Run. I was one of the newbies that tried Topa starting in January (has it really been that long?!). It didn't work for me unfortunately and I couldn't deal with the SE. Now I just started Nal a week ago.

            Illum, your schedule sounds crazy!

            I have to tell you all that I felt AWFUL today.

            My norm for wine is about 1 bottle per night which is 5 5-oz glasses. Last night I had 6.5 which is more but not a lot more and I was a mess today. I tried to go to work but quickly realized I couldn't stay. I made it home in time to throw up at home and spent most of the day sleeping. Just terrible.

            I've read on the thesinclairmethod.net site that Nal can accentuate your intoxication level and I guess it sure did that. I was so mad at myself but then I remind myself that I am actively working on this problem. Nal takes time to start working.

            On the good note, I'm not drinking tonight because I still feel pretty bad. Ugh.
            Do Your Dream

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Sun - Part of the furniture, I love it! That's not fair though! You're much more than that. A faithful friend. 200, WOW. How are your SEs? I definitely feel like mine are not as bad the second time around, or maybe I can just manage them better. Do you feel like that? The biggest one I notice is the tingling and that doesn't bug me at all. I quit because I was drinking through it and I couldn't eat very well and my workouts were suffering really badly. In retrospect, I think the hangovers were really bad on the topa so I couldn't exercise properly. I did lose about 10 pounds but felt awful. Are you still doing a Guinness or two or are you having your coffee drink? I never did think you drank very much at all but I suppose that is really not helpful to hear and it's all relative. :blush:

              I wonder if the Topa generics are different? This one seems to be effecting me differently...

              DYD - Thanks for the welcome! SO sorry that happened to you on Nal. I've never taken it but I've done that on Topa before and it REALLY intensifies the hangovers. Yuck. You are right though - I guess it is a good incentive to not drink tonight. Do you feel different at the time you are drinking on the Nal or only the morning after? Lots of water and rest...
              "Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them. Every day begin the task anew." -- St Francis de Sales

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                I don't really notice any difference when I'm drinking on the Nal. But I sure did yesterday!

                I feel better today but a little spacey. I didn't take Nal last night because you only take it when you're drinking. I would think it would be out of my system.

                I'm a runner too, 2Run. I hate when the drinking interferes with that!

                I'm looking forward to drinking less also because it will be easier to control my weight. I'm about 10 pounds above where I'd like to be. I, unfortunately, did not experience the weight loss with Topa.
                Do Your Dream

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Hi everyone... everyone was so quiet for awhile I quit checking in as much.

                  Hi 2Run.. glad to meet you. I took Topa 2x but my hair falls out on it and makes me very tired. I am also a stay at home mom of 3 boys. I used to run too. My knee started bothering me terribly and really hasn't made a recovery. I walk 3 times a week but miss running terribly.

                  Illum you and I sound like our lives are very similiar. You sound great and happy. Seems like being busy suits you well.

                  DYD sorry to hear about you not feeling well. Sometimes I think when I drink nightly it just catches up with me. I can drink quite a bit spread over a long time but when I try to drink the same amount in a shorter time, I really feel it. There is something about going over a bottle for me too. I feel it. I hope the Nal kicks in for you. How far do you usually run? Any races?

                  Sun
                  your husband sounds fabulous. to me anyway. I am sick of my husband trying to rectify(however you spell it) my life. He really means well and has been trying to be sweet. I wish he would just leave it alone. It makes me resent him in my secret little way. I am so glad you are doing so well on Topa. That is great! You sound like you have got a handle on it. I am afraid that I might start eating to much in order to compensate for not drinking.

                  As for me, I am going really pretty good on my own... saying that. I would love to have a glass of wine tonight. LOVE too. But I am trying to stay committed to AF Mon-Fri. ugh. I am doing terrible concerning diet. I am officially feeling fat. I used to run 4-5 miles a day and I miss that.. then yoga on top of that. I loved to run as it made me feel good and I could eat and drink what I wanted. My bum knee is keeping me from starting again. Everytime I try, it bothers me. I know I probably need surgery. poop. I have been walking but as most runners understand... its not the same. I do enjoy yoga but haven't had time to get to class right now with the age of my boys. I have tried to do yoga at home but am not very disciplined.

                  big hug for everyone.
                  BK

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Hallo everyone. Me here. DYD - sorry about your awful time with your wine and the throwing up - can't remember the last time I threw up on booze - that must have been awful - I didn't know that drinking on Nal could do that! So, you didn't drink last night 'cos of feeling awful - I took nal once and didn't even think about drinking - How are you doing today? Are you actually overweight or are you just a little higher than you would like to be? I probably already know that - or maybe not - but have forgotten if I do know!! I have no idea if the Topa keeps me slim - I am thin (slim) anyway and very active so am not sure if the Topa helps with that or not.

                    2Run - my SE's? I am really lucky in that I don't really have any - the Topa dopa I put down to age!! I sometimes forget a word, which I do think is the Topa and find it really annoying but it is livable with but for the most part that is pretty much it. the tingling feet I get rarely but when I do get it it isn't tingling - it is like needles being dug into my feet!!!! I am still on the Guinness although it is losing it's thrill for me....which is a good thing. I also am down to one soda a day too (the aluminum can thing). I can drink over the Topa but am watching it - at 200mg I am noticing the effect and it is definitely kicking in. very slightly, but there. I was supposed to go up to 250 yesterday but didn't. i am going to give it another couple of days then go up. I think the generics are different - in fact I think the 'lots' are different - one I had did nothing at all - the next really seemed to 'work'. I think re you drinking through it - you HAVE to at least try and help it here 2Run - you have to at least give it a little help........I could drink through it but I try and listen to it. It doesn't always work but at least I do know it is helping me if I care to let it.

                    Hi BK - sorry we weren't posting - I know sometimes it feels as if you are talking to yourself!! What sort of yoga do you do? Years ago I had such a wonderful yoga routine and it sort of tailed off but I really want to get back into it. Hubs told me that he could always tell when I had been doing my yoga - he said that I walked differently - straighter and taller!! From a guy that is a really good comment seeing as they never notice anything. I think you are doing amazingly well staying committed to your not drinking Mon-Fri. I am so impressed!!! And all just by will power - right?? Incredible - you go!! Sorry about your knee - I understand - I walk really really fast to the point where I want to run but can't 'cos of my knees =- they hurt when I run. Have you tried that funny looking walking where you sort of walk close the the ground? It is almost like running....

                    Illum - your schedule is exhausting! I am a stop-at-home. hate to go anywhere. I go to work. And that is it. It would freak me out to have your schedule. I am so sorry to hear about your hubs being laid off. At least he got a good severance package and YOU weren't laid off too - two good things!! You have your romantic weekend coming up - do hope that you enjoy it and have a wonderful time!!!! We will live vicariously through you (well, I will anyway!! LOL)

                    Hugs to all, love, Sun XXX
                    How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      Can anyone recommend a safe pharmacy overseas? Is River still ok?

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Sun, what's a Gold Wing, a mcycle?

                        Glad all seems well.

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          These days I usually run 4 miles at a time. I like running in the woods near my house or by the beach. But usually I go in the woods. It's very peaceful for me.

                          Sun, I didn't drink last night because I felt so bad from the day.

                          Regarding my weight, I am a lifetime Weight Watcher's member and so far I've stayed within two pounds of my weight goal but it's not really my weight goal. It's a little higher than I'd like to be but I still do fit in their criteria for someone my age and height. I keep going every month to keep myself in check. And I also run to keep my weight under control and also because it's good for my mind and body.

                          BK, any chance your husband would watch your kids so you could go to an occasional yoga class? I bet that would be so great for you if you could somehow make it happen.
                          Do Your Dream

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Hi Bruun - yes, a Goldwing is a motorcycle - a nice one - but it is Illum that has that - I have an 850 Triumph Bonneville.

                            BK - I am not sure about overseas pharmacies - check out some of the Bac threads - they seem to be far more in tune with them.

                            DYD - I used to walk 4 miles every morning and would love to run - I walk so fast it is almost annoying - I want to run, but it hurts my knees. How wonderful that you live near woods AND the beach. I am green with envy - in UK I lived near the beach and I miss it SO much!

                            Hugs to all,

                            Sun XXX
                            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Hi All-

                              Sun - Thanks for the thoughts on Topa and the drinking through it. I really need to be careful here. The last week my topa brain is saying "NO NO NO I really don't want any wine AT ALL" and my usual wine brain is saying "but of course you do, you ALWAYS do." It's such a strange feeling. I need to shut one monster off and listen to the other. It's much more intense this time around so I need to listen now before it goes away. It's very liberating...I don't want to kill the good Topa monster telling me "no." Last night I had maybe two small glasses of wine but I don't know why I had any at all. I'm so glad your SEs are minimal. I really hope your current dose does the trick for you and you don't have to go up. How long do you plan to stay where on it? That's always the question I guess.

                              BK - I so know what it's like to be home with kiddos. And it's terrible to want to run so badly and not be able to with an injury, especially a chronic one. Do you have a gym near you where you could bring the kids and bike or swim? Oh, and when I was looking into online pharmacies, River seemed ok, but I was having trouble with a lot of them only taking Visa... you might have better luck in a separate post?

                              DYD - beach AND forest?!? oh wow! i live near trails and the mountains but that's hard with little ones so I usually end up on the dreadmill - er - treadmill.
                              "Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them. Every day begin the task anew." -- St Francis de Sales

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Quick post - (Oh I am SO enjoying being off work) - 2Run - last night I did drink through it - stupid stupid stupid! I had had two and I really didn't need or want another - my Topa brain was saying NO but the other part (you know the one) said YES. So I did and ended up having 4 - no biggie really, but I hate when I drink through it. Like you, I MUST MAKE MYSELF listen and take heed of my Topa voice. Oh, I know I will be going up again - probably Friday I think, to 250 mg.

                                off to run errands,

                                hugs, Sun XX
                                How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                                Comment

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