New here and starting Topa and with a question

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey everyone,

Sun, my goal is to eventually be ambivalent about drinking. Maybe want to drink or maybe not. And not have to do it every day. But this is a slow process. I don't expect huge changes for 6 plus months. I'm only on week 8 now but I'm happy with the progress I'm making.

So, now my average is 3 (although the other night I had 5 and felt guilty about it but fortunately not too sick - only tired the next day). I do hope to get to 2 or 1 or none.

BK, no, I haven't had many side effects. Others seem to have more but they usually go away.

Sometimes I am more sleepy but not sleepy like I was on Topa. It is very manageable. I'm very happy that I found it and feel good about how I am doing.

Mimi, I hope your Topa arrives soon. I know it's hard to wait once you've made the mental decision to go forward. Hang in there!

[SpookyChan]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

long time lurker...

Hi all. Long time lurker. Only posted once ever. Did the bac thing forever then the depression side effect became too much and decided to try topamax. Sweet mama! Topa is so much better! I was a MORON at 125mg of baclofen, sleeping 1.5 hours a night. So I won't post much... just I just wanna say thanks to all, including the bac folks. Watching the ups and downs kept me from feeling alone in the darkest times.

And topa gave me my weirdest day ever. I wanted a Smirnoff ice. Not the alcohol. hubby says can't you get something else? They don't have that here... No. I don't want alcohol. I want specifically a Smirnoff ice with this particular snack (a habit). So I get said beverage (drink one), eat said snack, watch movie, shove remainder in fridge, go to bed. Today, doesn't sound appealing at all. Weird. I think that's what normal people do?

Thanks again!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there Spooky - welcome and good for you re the drinking! I would love to hear more about how you are doing with the Topa as it does help others here who try it....

Mimi - I know how it feels when you are READY and you still don't have the tabs - hopefully they will arrive soon. In the meantime it really sounds as if you are doing well on your own though - go you! Don't feel guilty though - it doesn't help you at all and makes no difference to the drinking - it is a wasted emotion! Just hang in there and it will all work out - good luck with the being on your own - I know it is much easier to drink when we are on our own!!

Hi DYD - I am back to my regular two a day again. Just have to watch it doesn't creep up!! I might try and make it creep down actually.....

Airam - so lovely to see you here posting - I so miss you when you don't. I am going to have to look fluoxetine up as I have no idea what that is, but the whole lot sounds as if it is working for you which makes me So happy for you. thanks for the PM - I am off for four days starting tomorrow and will finally have some free time!!

Well, I have to get to work - at least it is the early shift which is good. will be back over the weekend - have a wonderful time all.

love and hugs, sun X

[new again]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone! I`m so sorry to have jumped in days ago with an introduction and a question, and then just not gotten back for so long!

airam;1111348 wrote: NEW, glad to see you here back. I m sorry you are having trouble with Bac. I had some hard SE on Bac from the begining, as many have, but unlike others, they were harder every day instead of going down. I went up very slowly. In two months I only got up to 50 mg. Maybe I was allergic or something.

I don t want to discourage anyone to take Bac beacuse I know it works. There are many living proofs here. It really works. And there are many people with AL problems that need, at least, to try it.


I, of course wanted it to work on me but I will never know because I had to stop becase the terrible SE one me. I know its difficult to tell when a person is also drinking, what is causing the effects.


Anyway, you know from my previous post I decided it was not for me and went down slowly. I haven t had DT form alcohol, but I have had severe withdrawal symptoms form alcohol and they were similar. My symptoms were the super heavy sweating (more than normal in me), cold sweating, horrible shakings, tachycardia, insomina and what I think were allucinations. I have taken AD and other prescription drugs in the past, and because of them have had very vivid dreams, you know, where you are sleeping and then got awake and cant make a difference form which are dreams and which is Reality. But this was different, I was awake, I was seeing things that were not happening! That was very scary! I wish I could explain myself a little better.

Thanks for the answer, Airam. What I think are Bac withdrawals for me are just exteme SEs, but when going down, not up. Anyway, I`m at 40 mg now, and will stay there for a little while.

I`ve read back over the pages since I last posted, and I hope to be part of the conversation - it seems like a good one.

I`ve added Nal to my Bac, and I`m pretty much AF. I`m having a few sips of either wine or beer as a nod to TSM, but mostly right now AL is pretty repulsive to me. I really want to capitalize on that feeling, and make it stick. We all go through so much due to this horrible affliction... I wish it would just go away, for all of us.

Take care everyone, and good luck with your chosen paths!

:l

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi!...

Sun~ yes Lexapro is an AD. I don't know if its helping with AF but I have been doing better.

Just found out my mom had breast cancer (stage 2) so she should be fine. I haven't talked with her in years and found out through a family member that she forbid anyone to tell me as she was afraid that I wouldn't care. I really hate when she paints me that way. But I took the high road for once and sent her flowers with a nice card. Aside of the CA, she is a mess. I don't know if you knew but she is a recoved IV drug user but now has a license to grow marijuana... hmmmm... I have never much agreed with her life style but wanted to make ammends because I feel the anger I felt inside toward her may have been contributing to my alcohol situation. I went to see her Friday. She lives in filth and promotes my younger brother(17) in the lifestyle she is living. Yes, I did say he's only 17. She had me when she was 15and continued to have 2 other kids by various fathers. I told her that I would not judge her if she didn't judge me. We are total opposites. I have always resented her for not trying to provide a better life for me and for offering me drugs through my teens. It was hard when I had my own kids.. I could not even begin to understand how she could possibly have thought that was a good decision. She used to tell me.. I want you to get them(drugs) from me so you don't get "bad" drugs. I used crank for about 3 years and decided that I didn't want that kind of lifestyle and asked her to quit with me. She said no. So there the battle began because I refused to conform to the life of low. I choose to work and fortunately met my husband who has taking really good care of me. Going and seeing my mom makes me so thankful that I met my husband and he loved me. I would hate to be stuck in that town.

Just thought I would fill in where I have been. I am off to mow my lawn in the hurricane winds.

Mimi~ did you get your Topa yet?

hugs,
BK

ps. I have been having about 1 1/2 beers at night except a couple nites... the night I found out my mom had CA I drank almost 2 bottles of wine plus a couple beers and the night I was at my mom's drinking the same. I did drink all that in an extended time of about 8-9 hours. Not making excuses, just saying. But for the most part, I haven't felt like over doing it as much. I can only hope this continues. fingers crossed.

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wow, BK, you have been through a lot!

Good for you for moderating these days.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

BK - my heart goes out to you - you really have been through so much and I am so impressed that you have managed to get out of what you were in - that is so impressive!!! You must be a very strong person. I am so happy for you that you met your hubs and have got away from it all and are now trying to sort you out. It is hard when that is where you came from and it is in your genes I think so even more kudos to you for recognizing it and trying even harder. I admire you.

New again - how are you doing? I am sorry that I haven't been posting - no excuses 'cos I don't give excuses to friends!! Reasons yes, excuses no. I just haven't got here lately. Too much going on. How are you doing on the Nal and the bac?

Everyone else - what is going on? Airam - I got your PM and do not have any excuse for not replying as yet - thank you so much for it - it was SO sweet of you as usual! You really are a sweetheart!!

I am drinking my usual 2 or 3 a day again but thinking again that I need to quit (would someone like to record this for me please ROTFL). I do not think I am very good at modding. Some days I am, others not so good.

My mum is coming from UK to visit on Tuesday which I am so excited about. She doesn't drink - she had an alcoholic husband to contend with so really doesn't like Al - but when I DON'T drink - she says "Oh go on - have a drink" - it is an odd situation. She knows I like a Guinness. Hubs said we shouldn't drink when she is here. I think he is worried about having too much in front of her. I wouldn't do that. Anyway I am rambling.

Going to get going.

hugs to all,

love, Sun XX

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bk, Sunny is right, you are so strong and I really admire your courage.

Dyd, how are you doing? It sounds you are doing great. I m drinking about the same you are.
As an experiment (?) I stoppped taking the topa for two or three days, and the cravings came back immediately. It seems that the combo I m taking it s really working. I m happy. I don t have the exact number, but I m drinking about 24 or 25 units a week.
Today, for instance, at 22:30 haven t had a drink yet.

Sunny, I m glad your mother is coming to visit! You wil be fine I m sure! I want to give you a big big hug! You are so nice and so sweet! I like you very much, just like everyone else. Thank you for keeping this thread alive and for being the way you are.

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Airam,

I'm doing fine but have noticed my units creeping back up some. I had 5 units the other night and felt yucky the next day and didn't have any but tonight I did the 5 again. I hope I feel okay tomorrow.

I'm disappointed that I'm going back up to my old norm but tell myself it will take time.

Sun, I agree with Airam - you have such a sweet presence. You make everyone feel good and welcome.

Don't be hard on yourself. This is all a process. I hope you have a good visit with your Mum.

Hugs to all.

[new again]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello All!

I hope things are going (as) well (as they can) for everyone. I see that some of us have challenges at the moment. Me too! Sympathies to all.

I'm doing oooookay on the Bac and Nal combo, but I'm on such a low dose of both of them, that I really need to employ other tactics to help me not drink. And this week, well, my tactics have been unemployed . I've drank most days, usually only 1 or 2 (last night 4! yikes), but that is really WAY more than I want to. I've had really uncomfortable and terrifying SEs on these drugs, and I don't want to have gone through all of that to end up drinking more than I want to anyway... What a waste that would be. Plus I see that a few others here are pondering whether they want to cut down a bit.

So here's my plan ----. I'm going to go AF till next Saturday night, when my daughter comes to visit. I'm going to post here for accountability. Anyone who wants to join me, either cutting down from 2 drinks to 1, or 5 days to 3, or whatever you'd like to do for a week, please jump aboard. It'll be like those threads on the other boards, only different. Because we're all doing different things. Haha, and it may not work either.:huh: Maybe worth a try, though! :yay: So, where I am it's just after noon on Sunday. AF for this chick till next week, and only max 3 then anyway. We're going to Donkey Day at the donkey sanctuary on Sunday, and ya can't have a hangover on Donkey Day! :h

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Mornin'.....

Thanks everyone for all your support. I try to be strong but to be honest, its not all the easy. I do appear to most that way but on the inside I crack alot. Hence why I think I drink more than I should.

New Again.. that sounds like a fabulous idea. I always want to do something like that and start off strong then end up somewhere else. I will have to think about what limits I might join you in.

Sun... you are just plain wonderful. thank you. It seems like you always have a handle on what people are feeling. Have lots of fun with your Mum. I was thinking, I know it may not be the kind of support you need from her but at least she isn't putting you down and critizing you for drinking. I think that would be much harder. Back when my husband and I weren't doing so well, he used to call me a drunk and tell me I was just like my dad. Funny, he was drunk right along with me. I used to hate it when he would call me my dad's name. But that is long past. He isn't mean anymore.

We went to my husband's parent's for the weekend. So I drank more than I should have. I drank moderately on Friday, meaning I still drank alot but over a long period of time. I went to bed pretty sober. Thurs. night was the same. Sorry a little backtracking there.
Saturday, I just got drunk. I am not sure that anyone noticed cause when I started feeling loopy I went to my camper. (We always take our trailer because I like having my own space and his parent's have a bunch of property) I did keep drinking when in the camper. Probably why I got drunk. Sometimes its hard to write this all down because when I write it, it makes me ashamed of myself.
But I feel safe here.

hugs to all, sorry I didn't address everyone.
Airam, DYD, I am thinking of you gals too.

[new again]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi BK - good luck with your family situation. I have a toxic family, too, and I've often wondered if it has anything to do with my drinking. Good for you for moderating, though.

So, I got really worried that I might have done some damage to this wonderful thread with my idea about a "drinking somewhat less" motivational-type theme: please don't let that be that be a thread-killer. Please! ray: The last thing I want to do is change the direction around here.

That being said, I'm on target so far!

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh New... no worries here... I don't think you could kill this thread if you tried.
The ladies here are wonderful and we all come and go a bit.

As for me, moderating... I am trying but am drinking my wine tonight. hmph.
I am a good moderator for a day or two.

You keep on dong what you are doing! hugs BK

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

HI everybody - no time for a proper post - just wanted to let you all know that my mums is here!! Arrived safely, although she missed her connecting flight in Chicago due to her UK flight being delayed!! But she is here!!! I will post in a day or two - hugs to everyone - and new....NO WORRIES. ROTFL - you can't damage this thread - trust me. :l

Will talk soon - sorry I am not replying - just so happy my mum is here - and I am drinking a guinness too!!

Hugs, sun XX

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun... you are wonderful.