New here and starting Topa and with a question

[taytayhi5]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I've been reading

Hey All,
I am new to the site, not new to AL. Brief intro...Grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. It was not easy to say the least. I begged for my mom to get a new liver at Mayo when I was 22. Due to my parent's drinking and them not taking care of themselves they have had three bouts with cancer, celluloses, quadruple bypass, vein surgeries, broken bones from falls and that is just the tip of the iceberg. Now I sit at 32 with a 6 year old son and I am well into repeating their story. I am 14 years deep into this and I don't want to do it any more. I am feeling worse and remembering less. So when I found this site and read all about the successes people have had with the help of medications I made an apt to see my Dr. Today is day one on Topa. I am feeling a bit dizzy but I am hopeful for the first time in a long time that I can get sober. (My liver and other tests came back normal!!! I want to remember my life and even more so I want to be there for my kiddo. I have a wonderful boyfriend and he has wonderful kids as well. I have so much to be thankful for and present for in this life. I pray this works.

Thank you all for sharing. It really helps to know that we are in this together!!!!
Keep up the fight!

:h~t.

PS~ I really hope I drop some weight on Topa. In the last year I have been gaining weight. Like my body was not processing the AL as it once did. (I am up from 160 to 185 and I HATE it. I had always been so in shape...(I am 6.1" female) Does anyone have weight loss success with Topa?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Welcome Tay! If you have read through this thread, you will know that many of us are just starting Topa - I for one am back to day 1!! I am so pleased that you found us - we are a great bunch here and support each other - it is a hard journey but it can be done, maybe with a few blips along the way. I did lose weight last time I started Topa and others have too. I am pleased that you are trying to stop before you are too old - last night I talked to my daughter about AL and said "look ahead and SEE" as she drinks way more than she should (she is 24 - or 23??). Anyway - welcome to the thread - ask any questions - someone here will help with any answer or just give you support should you need it. Once again - welcome.

Hugs to you, Sun xx

[2Run]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hy Tay! :welcome: And :goodjob: for making that first step! I am also 32 and have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I'm a "highly functioning problem drinker" meaning that I never drink until my kids are asleep, never during the day etc. Still manage the house, the kids, the gym etc. but my 4+ glasses of wine a night REALLY do disrupt my life a lot. I'm in week 3 of Topa now (got it from my doc for migraines which i really do get a lot of) and taking 25mg in the AM and 50mg in the pm. I had a lot of dizziness too when I started out and a few other symptoms as well. Keep us posted with how it goes. And DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!! My doc sort of downplayed the side effects (she said I'd be a bit tired at first!) and never mentioned water. Anyway, congratulations again on taking the first step. I hear you on the weight loss as well. Without wine I'd surely be 10 pounds thinner. Topa is sort of sneaky on the appetite (and the AL cravings as well). Some days I'm starving, some days I can't stand the thought of food. It isn't a miracle pill but it will work with you to aid in weight loss and the AL if you let it.

Sun - I've heard so many people describe AL as their best friend, in a sense. When it's in your life, I'm not surprised that in some ways, you ARE happier. It also takes away the stress of having to think all day "gee, I'm not allowed to drink today, or tomorrow, or the next..." You can just go back to you old life and routine with your best buddy who you could always count on to be there at the end of a day, you know? When you cut that out of your life, it's like losing a best friend. Maybe there is a very long grieving process. Did you find another friend to replace it with? I am a runner and I keep thinking I am going to have to buy a gun (I'm paranoid) and start running in the dark after my girls are asleep just to do something else that I love. I totally feel like I need to find something else to fall in love with and obsess a little bit about, you know? Perhaps the health and upkeep of your body? A new wardrobe? Gardening? I know "get a hobby" is so lame but maybe search as deep as you can go and find another best friend that can keep you as happy as AL did. You're a wonderfully warm person...I know there's something amazing in there that you would find fulfilling... Did you ever have a dream that you let go because life got busy etc.? And for the record, what you are saying doesn't sound strange..totally makes sense to me. I feel the same.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

2run - gosh, what a wise post (for me to read). Someone said maybe I was a normal drinker - I know I am definitely not that - but what you put is me! A highly functioning problem drinker! That is it!! And I really do agree with the stuff about losing a friend - as far as finding a hobby - the only thing I do need to do, is go back to my yoga and meditation. I used to love doing that and was so peaceful inside when I did it. THAT is where I need to go. Thank you so much dear friend! See - I don't need a counsellor - I just needed to talk to other folk like me!! I remember talking to someone once who said that the monk on top of the mountain and the drunk in the gutter were both on the same path - just on different ends - they were both finding their own way to their own peace. He explained it much better than I am - but it made sense to me. Whether you are meditating or drinking, you are changing the state of your mind. Am I making any sense? I am hopeless at explaining stuff. It really did make sense when he explained it!! Anyway - you have given me food for thought and I thank you.

Hugs, Sun xx

[NoraC]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun - Big hugs!! Hang in there friend. :l I was lucky & found a counselor that I do like. First try. I was so worried and thought it was a waste of time. Now, I am glad that I'm seeing her.

2Run - You made a lot of sense. I need to remember those days. Thank you for that.

Tay - Welcome! Good for you for doing this. I actually lost some weight. I just don't feel like eating. I know it's different for some people.

Take care all!!!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Nora - thanks for the support - I have PM'd you,

hugs, Sun xx

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

:thanks: everbody who has written in this thread. You have been very helpful.

I wrote a long post and lost it :no: I'll try to write again later.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Airam - I am so sorry! sometimes, if you hit the back button, you can get it back - just for next time that might happen!! Anyway, welcome back - I know you have been working - it is good to see you again - how are you doing?? Hugs to you,

Love, Sun xx

[2Run]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sunshinedaisies;959009 wrote: I remember talking to someone once who said that the monk on top of the mountain and the drunk in the gutter were both on the same path - just on different ends - they were both finding their own way to their own peace. He explained it much better than I am - but it made sense to me. Whether you are meditating or drinking, you are changing the state of your mind. Am I making any sense? I am hopeless at explaining stuff. It really did make sense when he explained it!! Anyway - you have given me food for thought and I thank you.

Sun, what you said about the monk and the drunk makes complete sense. I actually thought you explained it quite well. I also think that we all have our own ways of self medicating or just dealing in general...whether it's trying to cover up less than happy parts of our pasts or if we're just trying to cope with our daily lives. For me, I feel happy when I've just scrubbed the house, run 6 miles, been to and from the grocery store, fed the kids, played with them at the park, gotten them to nap, etc. and know that in a few short hours, the noise will all be in bed for the night, I can curl up on the couch with a good book and a glass of wine and let the day melt away. So when you said that you are happier with AL in your life, so am I and that's why. It's something to look forward to at the end of a busy (and somewhat monotonous day). I'm a stay at home mom (used to have a big career) so one day can tend to blend into the next. Anyway, I'm mad at myself for letting my "relaxing" at the end of the day get out of control. I'd probably be fine with it if not for 1) the calories and 2) the hangovers. The wine started to effect my morning runs and made me short with my kids and I just can't have that anymore. So now I'll have to see if I'm strong enough to mod...
Anyway, I also do a lot of yoga. That might be a good option for an evening class...

[NoraC]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

All of that makes so much sense. I actually just joined two online classes. Make myself keep busy in the evenings. That's the plan. I've tried that before and just drank around them but this time I'm determined.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I would love to find a yoga class - but the only ones near me are in the local gym (membership - big bucks) plus I work such strange shifts I could never be sure I would get to them, Other than that I would have to drive a fair distance - which I know i wouldn't do. I am used to doing my yoga on my own and have a lot of DVD's for it. just need to DO it!! 2Run - I was at home with my children too - and used to love my time at the end of the day - everything done, children all tucked in - oh, that first drink - heaven!! Gosh - I am practically drooling - shame on me!! Anyway - thanks for all your support both of you - Nora and 2run - as you know, it is well appreciated!

Love and hugs, Sun xx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Nora - you said you joined on-line classes???????

[NoraC]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just a computer programming and an online debt elimination class. Something to keep me busy at night. Mind occupied kind of thing.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OH - LOL - I thought you meant an on-line yoga class!

hugs, Sun xx

[2Run]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun I used to record yoga classes on cable. Might add more variety that way? Not sure if you have a way to do that or not...