New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Topsy - I was just joking!! It wasn't meant like that - there are just so many Bac users and our thread tends to get lost!!

Hugs, Sun

[Claremont]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well - it's great to be here! I am continuing the Nal too Sun - Illuminae - hello from TSM - I've made the jump too! Are you going to continue taking Nal once your topa arrives? I am continuing because I have some left so I am going to up it to 75 mg. again to finish off the batch and see if it makes any difference while I up the Topa. I tried 75mg. Nal for a few weeks a while back while considering Topa and I actually increased my drinking levels. Kind of like the past few days. Seems like starting a different treatment makes an excuse for me to drink more - idiot:-) Not sure if I want to waste any more money on Nal once I run out.

This is a habit habit habit habit habit habit habit. I know we are all saying the same thing. Is the Topa going to stop the habit? Nal promised to do that for 78% of takers. I just really don't want to use willpower cuz I have none.

Are we mostly wine drinkers here?

Houtx - I totally hear ya about the 10 pounds. I suppose if we didn't suck back a bottle of wine every night we wouldn't have an extra 10 pounds to lose:-) Yes the weight loss would be a very welcome bonus for me too. Now, AF days - that is awesome. It wasn't too long ago that those were only dreamt about, right? Celebrate!

Sun - your goal is AF? Is that correct? You did it before and you will do it again! We all have little bumps in the road - it's called life. Don't be disappointed in yourself.

I think we need to celebrate accomplishments no matter how small - little gifts like a pedi, a movie, a new top, a new make up item, a CD, a mocha grande cappucino ANYTHING ladies - If you are like me, we don't treat ourselves as special as we should so let's agree to celebrate the little steps. Houtx - AF free days are victories!! Funny how we are so quick to beat ourselves up for the pitfalls but don't give ourselves credit for positive steps.

Hoping4better - are you a TSMer too? or do I recognize you from my old days here?

Have a lovely day.

[Claremont]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well - it's great to be here! I am continuing the Nal too Sun - Illuminae - hello from TSM - I've made the jump too! Will you be taking Nal once your topa arrives? I am continuing because I have some left so I am going to up it to 75 mg. again to finish off the batch and see if it makes any difference while I up the Topa. I tried 75mg. Nal for a few weeks a while back while considering Topa and I actually increased my drinking levels. Kind of like the past few days. Seems like starting a different treatment makes an excuse for me to drink more - idiot:-) Not sure if I want to waste money on more Nal once I run out. Hoping the topa will be working by then.

This is a habit habit habit habit habit habit habit. I know we are all saying the same thing. Is the Topa going to stop the habit? Nal promised to do that for 78% of takers. I just really don't want to use willpower cuz I have none.

Are we mostly wine drinkers here?

Houtx - I totally hear ya about the 10 pounds. I suppose if we didn't suck back a bottle of wine every night we wouldn't have an extra 10 pounds to lose:-) Yes the weight loss would be a very welcome bonus for me too. Now, AF days - that is awesome. It wasn't too long ago that those were only dreamt about, right? Celebrate!

Sun - your goal is AF? Is that correct? You did it before and you will do it again! We all have little bumps in the road - it's called life. Don't be disappointed in yourself.

I think we need to celebrate accomplishments no matter how small - little gifts like a pedi, a movie, a new top, a new make up item, a CD, a mocha grande cappucino ANYTHING ladies - If you are like me, we don't treat ourselves as special as we should so let's agree to celebrate the little steps. Houtx - AF free days are victories!! Funny how we are so quick to beat ourselves up for the pitfalls but don't give ourselves credit for positive steps.

Hoping4better - are you a TSMer too? or do I recognize you from my old days here?

Have a lovely day.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Claremont - I'm a wine drinker all the way. If we have no wine I'll drink vodka or gin with something, but then I usually don't drink as much. We have beer that will sit for months in our outdoor fridge that I would never even touch before NAL, but wine in the house - look out!

Yes I plan to keep taking the NAL for a while. I just got a new order recently (though sent some to Jim Clark who needed to keep on track!). I think I'll see how Topa starts working and then determine if I stop taking the NAL. I definitely plan on keeping some around no matter what - that is if Topa works for me I think I'll still plan on taking NAL when I decide to drink. We'll see.

I am right there with you on the habit - no willpower train, but last night was great. Didn't feel much like drinking so waited longer then ususal. Told myself 3 glasses and bed by 1030. Ended up being 4 glasses and bed by 1100, but that's great for me. I didn't finish the bottle and stay up until midnight!!

I was hoping for the weight loss too but good to know that isn't always the case. Good news for me is I jump started a diet while I was away from home for two weeks and I've lost about 5 pounds and keeping it off so far. I think that's been helping me mentally with drinking less - I don't want to blow my progress there, and it's nice to have another reason to want to drink less besides just the worried alcohol obsession.

Glad to have such a great group of folks to keep in touch with on this!

Illumninae

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

My drinks were always vodka, red wine and beer. It went on cycles. 3 or 4 months drinking each one.

I usually drink/drank (hopefully) only at nights on weekdays. About 500mls (17oz) of vodka, or 2 bottles of wine or many, many beers. On weekends I drank more, can't say how much.

I started drinking late in my life. In my thirties. I never was a teen drinker. I suffered from severe depression and my alcoholism progressed very quickly. I went from a non-drinker to an uncontrolled everyday drinker in less than two years.


For years I didn't think I had a problem, until I went with my extended family (siblings, in-laws, parents, nieces, nephews, etc.) to spend a Christmas Holidays in a very large house at the beach and I had to hide myself in the restroom to drink the amount I needed to drink.

Then I tried so many times to quit. For many years. I can say those years were the saddest and most terrible part of my life. I hated myself for not being able to quit.

Now I'm here. Started Topa about 7 weeks ago feeling hopeless. But today I'm 7 consecutive days AF. I don't know what is going to happen next. But topa is the only thing that has given me a little hope.

[hoping4better]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Claremont and Illuminae,
Yep, a former TSMer here, too. Then tried bac. Now on topa. Don't know where I'll go if this doesn't work! I gave nal almost a year and I think it helped a little but not enough. Sounds like you both had the same story. Oh yeah, and I'm also a wine drinker. Went on bac, but couldn't take the SEs. So far topa is giving me the best hope, though the hair loss thing may be a deal breaker, even with Rogaine. I am actually going to bed with my husband most of the time instead of going upstairs to watch tv and drink my wine, or surf online and drink my wine. I don't feel like shit in the morning anymore. I drink less and I can remember conversations the next day. Even my husband noticed -- and I hadn't even told him I was taking topa. Just taking this one day at a time. If it leads me to be AF, great, but right now is way better than where I was a few months ago.

[Claremont]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Airam, Hoping4better - it sounds like topa is giving glimmers. We've all been where you've been. Thank god for these forums to know we have a sisterhood and family out there to support us and let us know that we are not alone. Topa giving you guys hope is so encouraging.

Funny thing is, my family doesn't think I have a drinking problem. The only person that has ever said anything is my sister and she doesn't ever drink.

The hair loss thing. I've heard that it doesn't happen very often and that Biotin supplements help. In fact, I should start taking that just in case.

I find it interesting that (I think it was Waitingtoexhale) someone at TSM noted that female wine drinkers have absolutely no success with Nal. I think RJ was a vodka drinker. Let's hope this has nothing to do with anything.

I had 5 glasses of wine last night and feel quite hung over today. Yucky yucky yucky. Are the effects of alcohol worse in the early days of topa? Anyone? I remember going through stages with Nal where I'd have severe in bed all day hangovers with only 6 drinks. Now, if topa is supposed to work for curing migraines, why do I have a raging headache today:-) How ironic.

Waiting to hear Houtx's report from last night………………...

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Claremont, I had one of the worse, worse, worse hangovers in my life in the early days of topa. I drank a lot, yes, a lot. But, really the memory of that hangover has helped me some nights to stay AF.:hitme::yukko:ull:flush::bigcry::disgusting:


Houtx! How was yesterday?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning all - Claremont - yes, the hangovers are worse when you are taking Topa! And thanks for the words of encouragement too and also yes, I am going for AF. I had originally hoped to mod, but having been AF have decided that I cannot Mod - it is all or nothing for me. I have been taking one Nal tab each day with my Topa and when I do that, apart from being incredibly thirsty, really don't want any Guinness. Last night I had 2 Kahlua and milk - I am beginning to feel like a broken record here!! I am not going to buy any Guinness - if it is there I will drink it. the night before last, I really didn't want it, but hubs saw me drive up and poured one ready for me - so I ended up having four. Have that first one and - well, the rest is history.

So Houtx - how did last night go? You know that we are all waiting to hear????

Illuminae - I am not sure if you told us and I have forgotten - have you already started on the Topa? Clarement - what dosage are you on?

Airam - you are doing so well!! Hoping - 2run, mum - how are you all doing?

I have to get ready for work - will check back later when i get home - mid shift today (yuck).

Hugs to all,

Sun xx

[SassyLassy]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Make that 3 hangovers!

I, too, am 1) on Topa, and 2) have a hangover today. Not too bad, but bad enough. Headache, and just a little shaky. Yuck. AND.... I weighed myself this morning, and I do believe this is the heaviest I've been in my adult life aside from pregnancy. GOD THIS SUCKS! I'm only on 75mg of topa, so I'm waiting really for it to kick in.

Yes, tell us about your date (mind blank on the name - sorry- is that the Topa??) Houtx, there it is....:nutso:

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sassy - I am just on the 100 mg - started that this week, and it is definitely kicking in for me - not enough to stop me totally, but it is starting to do it's stuff! Re the weight - don't worry about that for now - AL is more important, sort that first then worry about the weight. The big thing that I found was when I went AF I started on sugar - but also found that if I upped my protein, I didn't want the sugar! anyway, I have to get to work. See you all later,

Hugs, Sun x

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

No I have not gotten my Topa yet. Still just on NAL.

Had a real trigger night last night. My husband left town for the weekend, and I have today off.

Brought the kids home from school, planning to eat in and only drink moderately. Looked at the two bottles from last night (hubby was drinking one, me the other) and saw that they each had about 1 glass left (a little less than I had thought was left) and I got the urge. Even though I wasn't exactly craving, I was thinking there's no way that is enough. So decided to take the kids for fast food so I could stop by the liquor store and get another bottle. After the kids went to bed, started a marathon of watching a TV show I'm catching up on. By about 1130 I'm amazed at how much is left in the bottle, thinking no way I can finish that. But what did I do, keep watching one more episode, one more drink... until it's about 1am, wine is gone and I finally go to bed. I didn't feel drunk at all until the very end.

got to sleep in and I feel just fine today. Strange, because last week I drank that much a couple of times and had a couple of those bad NAL hangovers - nothing today.

so in case I wasn't clear my trigger is being home alone with the kids and knowing I don't have to get up for work. I've got two more days of this, so I'll try to challenge myself to do better.

At least I"m not still doing what I would have in the pre-NAL days, stuff like take the kids out to lunch only at a place where I can drink, same for dinner, then the wine at home....
That just sounds horrible to me anymore.

Enough journalling publicly. Hope everyone has a great day!

[Claremont]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Illuminae - I can't tell you HOW MANY times I have been fine with the wine and then had another then another. Duh. You'd think we'd friggin learn. But, you've made huge progress from what you said you would have done in the old days. Awesome. And yeah, the Nal hangovers.
Hey, what about taking the kids to a movie at night? Something to break the cycle?

Airam - I LMOA at your smileys. The toilet bowl is way too familiar. But, hey, I CAN laugh at it. I'd much rather puke on Nal and 6 glasses of wine knowing that I am seeking control than puke on a night of far higher consumption with no end in sight.

Sun - I am only on 25 mg. Day 4. I admire you for knowing that you need to be AF. If I ever get enough AF days, maybe I will choose that as well, but wine has been a part of my life since I was a little girl, starting at the dinner table in a tiny little glass at special family dinners. Oh how I would miss it.

Sassy - I hear you about the highest weight since pregnancy. Like I said yesterday, if we didn't drink so many calories, weight maintenance might no be such a challlenge:-) I topped my weight last year and figure while I am drinking so much, weight loss forget - COME ON TOPA, I'm pulling for you.

Sun - High protein is a good tip. I find that I do much better maintaining weight loss too if I stay away from carbs and if it helps with cravings, I'll definitely have to remember that.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - and thanks for the interest in my date. Details to follow....First of all:

Airam: I am SOOOOOO impressed and PROUD of you!! You are my inspiration!!Doing this completely on your own, so many AF days, etcetctetc you go girl!!!

And there are so many others of you and it is late, I can't keep track: so randomly,

H4B, going upstairs to bed w/ the hubby seems pretty big instead of having more wine & going on the computer. I mean, option B is ALWAYS my choice, so that is HUGE, I think! Good for you!

Illuminae & Claremont, I know you are separate people LOL, but Thx Clare for the PM - and for the both of you for coming over here. The combo of NAL & TOPA may be a magic bullit, who knows. And both of you (as are most of us) drinking 1ish bottles of wine...I think this drug really is making us go "ummmmm/ehhhhhhh/bllleeehhhh" for the most part.

Sunny is the purist among us...and we love it. Rah Rah!!

So to make this shorter and sweeter - as far as my date last night: We met at a local restaurant bar that is popular among the 50ish set. There is a neat little trio that starts up about 7 playing fun favorites & very danceable...good background stuff. We hit it off immediately. He is 6'4", nice looking, and very talkative. We both play golf, had lots in common...but he was not like his pictures and that threw me off for a bit, but it was ok. He originally said he lived on a lake in Austin...(high dollar real estate). I'm not a gold digger but I AM looking for a man who has a "portfolio"/is set for retirement/can travel/financially secure...do you get my drift??? Do you blame me??!!

I want someone who compliments me. So he tells me he has this place on Lake Travis...has a dock house...that he lives ON the lake...I'm thinking "Ok!!"...today I asked him to send me pics of his place. Damn if he doesn't send me pics of some damn dock house. I'm not sure what I'm looking at, but it isn't what I'm expecting as a " house on Lake Travis"...it's ok...but it may have green freaking shag carpet inside, lawn furniture inside, no windows, I'm just not sure what to think....

OK - plus he smokes.

YET - we really hit it off. He drinks beer and is very cool about all that ( I need that!) Likes to dance - knew every song the band played (I was impressed) Is a real jock/athlete (was drafted & played baseball for the St. Loius Cardinals after he graduated college - which he attended on a basketball & baseball scholarship)...I mean, a really FUN, potentially boyfriend material guy!! I'm just worried about the "little" stuff...LOL like how he makes money, his living arrangements, and details about his children. We flirted entirely too heavily..it was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY fun...and I did NOT get drunk...but I just walked away wondering all these things.

So...yes, I am still keeping my fingers crossed. He was fun & sexy & Tall & handsome. Just hoping his reality matches...the flirting & sexual innuendos were WAAAAAAAAYYYYY fun!!

XO sometimes dating is muy bueno :-) y sometimes dating is muy malo :-(! XXXOOO

[mumtotwo]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I CAN'T even tell you how much I can relate to this!!!! I've been fairly bad these past couple weeks so I haven't been on as much. I finally ordered Baclofen online and am waiting for it to come in. I know Im outside of this thread for that but I felt I had to do something...I was too scared of the Topa SE's. Weight gain/loss is not an issue for me. I'd like to tone up some but that requires committment that I don't have... so if I gain some weight it won't be the end of the world for me. I'd be happy to just quit drinking or taper down quite a bit. I am a "lightweight"... one 1/2 to 2 bottles of wine makes me completely sloppy drunk, yet I do it anyway. Time to STOP!