New here and starting Topa and with a question

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello to all! Been meaning to pop in and the days just keep on running way with me - although I have been reading!

Sunshine: Like you, I am all over the board these days. Some pretty good and others I just don't seem to have quite a handle on. Then again, I am just counting this as Day 7 of being back on a "proper" dose of Topa at 50mg in the late afternoon.

When I said "shake it up" I was referring to changing patterns. Such as when you are trying to quit smoking and they tell you that if you smoke in a certain place or at a certain time, change it. That what I was meaning in perhaps shaking up your drinks and what you were doing. It sure seemed that he Guinness to Kuala and then none worked B4. It so hard to figure it out - isn't it?

That grand idea I had of buying that bottle of brandy that night and having only one was grand - until the next day. Then I found myself drinking too much brandy instead of wine and had to do the old trick of pouring the damn bottle out of the way to the coffee maker in the morning. I know me and I KNOW I would have thought in just a few hours that a bit of brandy in my coffee would have been a grand idea. HA! Dammit!

I'm not sure I can catch with everyone, but I did want to comment on "our lowest points". That really hit home for me. Thank you Clare. I think we all deserve a hug to ourselves for stepping up and fighting this battle and while most of us are not quite where we want to be, we ARE in better places then most of us have been in the past ... and getting better. yep. some set backs at times for sure, but I think for the most part, just being involved here speaks volumes for what we really want in our lives and how ready we are to fight for it. =)

And Clare - Yes, the wine hits me in smaller amounts as well. But I wish someone WOULD massage my brain some time. LOL J/K because I know the feeling you are talking about. I don't get the tingle thing at all. but less appetite and SOOOOOOOO tired. I may have a touch of Topa Dopa but I can't tell because I was always drinking wine!



Mum / Anne - Please tell us how it went! I would like to say I was a terrible liar too - but the truth is , when it comes to stuff like this - I amaze myself. HA! I could totally convince myself that I was a long term migraine sufferer and pull that off in a DR's office. But for me - I saw such success with the River product that I am now afraid to even change anything.for what worked for me.

airim; You sure have a boatload on your plate. Hope you are well - so enjoy your posts.

Illum - You crazy chick. LOL LOVED the article and thanks for posting it. WOW - do so many of us see ourselves in that or what??? Congrats on starting the Topa! Wishing you the best on the journey!

Dreams - You have SUCH a great mindset in all of this! I used to take the AllOne too, but stopped long ago. Perhaps I should do that again. Be careful of the weight loss thing - unless it's something you want. Two years ago when I did Topa, it was the reason I had to stop (and it wasn't g for me either) But I looked SICK from too much weight loss. Isn't it amazing (and sad) when we add up the $$$ we spend on AL???? ACK!

Waving hi to Sassy - The weekends ARE the hardest - I think for most of us. Time to cut free, hard to control it all. Baby steps ... we will make it.

And where IS Houtx?????????? Heyyyy Chica????

Must close and off for a brunch with a GF. Good and not so great days but all in all I am feeling a slight "shift" happening again. Gonna kick this damn thing in the arse yet!

Hope everyone has the day they hope for.

Hugs,
WTE

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Clare .. YES? HA! HA!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE - Great minds - that was my initial reaction to Clare's post too - YES!!!! LOL. And I quite understand re the Brandy - which is why I am back to the Guinness - it just doesn't have the same attraction it did - today will be interesting - I am off. On a day off, I will often have my first drink mid afternoon - still just have (JUST??) four tops, but would start early - so we shall see.

Clare - can't you just go out with the chap and see how it goes? I mean, he doesn't know you, so for him to be smitten so early in a relationship would put up red flags for me anyway - enjoy a few dates maybe? Just a thought.

Back later - hope to see Houtx here later - where are you???? And anne - we are all waiting to see what happened??

Bye for now,

love, Sun xx

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Clare, I agree if he's nice maybe have a little fun? I wasn't physically attracted to my husband at first but turns out my own idea of what what physically attractive was what was getting in the way of a real meaningful relationship for me. He made me laugh and he was so smart so I became attracted in a different way.

I was on here last night and seeing some other posts about Naltrexone and was trying to help this new guy - 37 degrees. What a complete ass! He really pissed me off. He's trying Nal but says TSM isn't proven, it's a cult, blah blah. He's "analyzed" all 4 medical treatments, doesn't hardly believe in any of them... I'm like why is he here?? Even L0op tried to help and quickly gave up. Perhaps I'll just continue sticking to this thread. One of the worst parts is that this guy put all this negativity onto someone else's thread titled "Naltrexone is working for me!" Jerk!

Okay, I've got to get some housework done before hubby gets back!!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I saw that thread too Illum and when I first saw the title, thought I might reply, but after seeing what he wrote, thought "maybe not". I agreed with you 100% !!

Hugs, sun xx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Clare – Actually I will recant. HA!

I was totally joking, because those of us single gals that know the online dating thing-a-ma hoogie (how DO you spell that??? HA!) know that you meet a thousand frogs along the way and that often within 20 seconds you KNOW there is no chemistry. Trust me here – you can’t force it! If it ain’t there – it will never be.

I did this routine just over a year ago with a guy I met online. Sweet, sweet man but I really was not attracted to him. (Houtx – we will not name names – but you know who I am talking about) We had a wonderful lunch and he was nice and bright and charming and his intellect really was intriguing to me. I was just about to head out of town for 2 weeks when we had met. He emailed me twice while I was gone – asking for a dinner date when I returned and just general chit chat. I thought – what the heck.

Fast forward … we started seriously dating, got involved, I got very involved with his family, and I fell in love with him. But, big but, his life style and mine were SO far off it was sad. He is an intellect – I am a sport gal. He prefers a Sunday morning watching politics – I want to be on the ocean kayaking. I want to ski – he can’t (physical limitations) and so I go with others) I am fly fishing and camping and he is home watching the stock ticker – and so the FIRST impression I had of no chemistry was right. The bedroom was never any great shakes from the start. No matter how much I cared for him (and still do now as a friend) there was never passion and he was never “right” for my life.

Don’t forget we ARE animals and we DO live by instinct in many a situation. They say we are drawn to partners much by “scent” in that we can sense that our potential has an opposite immune system and therefore would create “strong breeding”. Whatever it is, whatever they call chemistry – it is there, or it is not. I tried the “OH, Is this finally mature love and what it is really all about?” I am now of the firm belief that no, that “chemistry” thing is there for a reason and makes it work for the long – if that is even possible. Start off without it, and imagine what you have in 10 years? HA!

Well – THAT was totally off the Topa topic! LOL

Illum and Sun : I saw the post too. There will always be people that need to stab at whatever and it’s so sad. I don’t think I will ever understand why they need to vent at such places like this, but we sure see them over the years. Bless their searching souls because they wouldn’t have found such sites unless they were in trouble too. Sad.

Nighters all and hope everyone wakes up to a Happy Monday! I had a great weekend!

WTE

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - I haven't posted in awhile...but been lurking mostly late at night & just too tired to post. Things w/ me are ok. Starting first w/ the Topa, I am taking 200 mgs late in the afternoons for the last couple of months it seems with no real changes. Or at least I am not "slowing down enough" to "listen for" them. I must admit I have had one day a week AF, I guess, or pretty close to it...last Monday night I had one glass and almost a second then realized it was late, I was tired and what the hell, just go to bed. But other days...ehhhhh, not so great....4-6 glasses+

I am about to do the same tonight - except it will be more like 4 by the time I'm done. My measurements are not exactly 4 oz. LOL but I do try to be fairly close...I had an extremely depressing day today for no apparent reason. Seriously do not know why. I had to WORK at snapping myself out of it. This drug is supposed to have that as a SE and I really hope that particular one is not bubbling up in me. I will not be good at managing depression. I am managing the tingles but the "Topa Dopa" is becoming particularly annoying in my line of work (standing up and trying to engage and motivate and "entertain" a roomful of heady & distracted adolescents). Finding words to describe is becoming a bigger and bigger challenge and I am really tired of it. I've been doing it 20+ years...but still. I find myself at a loss for a word/words & tongue-tied like I've never been before. UGH -

I am charging through...continuing to drink though I suppose a bit less, not really. Frustrating. I feel like I have tried eveything in the book and I am doomed eventually. Just kindof in a black hole right now. This too shall pass. And I know you all will jump on me and I appreciate it in advance - seriously, I am ok. Just got a case of the blues...and also wish the appetite were suppressed!!!! UGH

The Austin "Dock Guy" LOL is fine. He is playing his cards right, and leaving me alone and not wooing me very hard but being very much the gentleman when he does email or call. I think it will work out just fine that we see each other once a week (for sex - which is great! :-)) I had him over here for dinner last Wednesday night (thus I did not go AF) He brought wine and that's what he drank - did not guzzle back the million beers. He is pretty much taking my cues that I do not want anyone to intrude my space and that is exactly right. I can handle once a week and that's about it right now. I do not see myself falling in love with the guy. If I do it will take a year at this rate! LOL When my weekend golf course job finally ends with the season, and I do have weekends free, I may go see him on his turf...spend a little more time together...see how he behaves on the golf course...check out his domain, etc LOL...

Right now, I just like my space. Like my computer community with you galpals here, I have my routine working out, coming home, etc. That first week when I thought he was sweeping me off my feet I got a glimmer of what I remember LOVE being like 3 yrs ago...It will take ALOT to get me there again. It was fun to fantasize and feel all excited for a few days. But alas...yet, once a week is GOOD!! REAL GOOD!!

Sorry this was all about me. I do read about everyone else and care! I will comment more soon. Love you gals and sooooooo appreciate this thread & glad we are here for each other.
XO

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Everything you write about your own life, I can relate to.
You have been more helpful than any theraphist, group, or ...
I don't know what to say.
Thank you. THANK YOU.


And for your support words to me. Thank you.
From the bottom of my heart.

[Lo0p]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

airam;988812 wrote: Everything you write about your own life, I can relate to.
You have been more helpful than any theraphist, group, or ...
I don't know what to say.
Thank you. THANK YOU.


And for your support words to me. Thank you.
From the bottom of my heart.

Oh, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into! Check this thread out: Aw da single/married ladies...& men :H

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

HA! HA! HA! Loop! So glad my posts are gone from that thread! How the heck are you???

[Claremont]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ahhhh Lo0p - Always there in the background - nice to see you popping up! Hope all is well. That's a 45 page thread. JC. I'll have to save that one for another time:-) Are you still AF? What's going on with you?

WTE - I agree. I told him ever so nicely that the spark was just not there and he was awesome about it. Wants to be friends which is fine. Onward I go.

I'm sticking to 75 mg. this week, same as last. I'm still under 30 drinks for the week which is way better than I did on a year of TSM and I don't want to rush upping the dosage. Lack of motivation seems to be the standard for all of us but is it the Topa?

We really don't need to excuse ourselves if it is all about us or if we don't check in or if we don't say hey to everyone - don't we have enough to worry about? Agreed??

I'm off to the sunny south next week and just ordered internet. Can't live for three weeks without it. Imagine - I'd have withdrawal:-)

[Claremont]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx - 4 oz? REALLY? Man, you must have teeny weeny glasses. If I put 4 oz in mine it's look like I had a sip left:-) So, now you know when I say 3 glasses for the night………………………..

[mumtotwo]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi ladies!!!!

You are all the best!!! I promise to respond to each of you very soon... I have kids trying to clean up their playroom (they have been crying about it all afternoon) and a husband asking me what I'm doing online right now.

So, for the doctor... I couldn't do it. I did mention that I've had more anxiety lately and that I've been "drinking a bottle of wine" to make up for it. I literally said those words and then told her "Don't you dare type that in your computer!" She laughed and said she's been trying to get life insurance and had some anxiety issues while in medical school and pregnant (as well as issues with her husband at the same time) and she thinks the whole system is screwed up that people can't get help from their doctors. I really relate well to my doctor (she's probably about the same age as me, later thirties) so I feel as if I "planted the seed" for later on. She's very dry with the men... my husband likes her but she's never as "warm" to him. She changed my anti-anxiety dose of Zoloft to 100 mg per day... don't know if this will help me at all with the wine, but probably not. I'm drinking now already... Baclofen finally came in today but I haven't read up on all the drug interactions yet so I don't know if I should start that tomorrow or just order the Topa instead. I'll figure it out soon, I guess.

That's all about me, I promise to read and write more later or tomorrow. I love you girls, you are THE BEST!!!!!!

Anne xx

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

No, Claremont, my glasses are more like 8 oz+ LOL. Tonight I am AF - yay me!! Feels good and I am about to turn in. Wish I could string it out for a few more days/weeks...we shall see. One day at a time.

LoOp - where the heck did you come from with that dusty ol' thread from Hootersville?! LOL/sigh - good times. I glanced & winced at about the first few lines. Too bad WTE's posts are gone. We certainly had a lot to say :-)

Mum - good luck with the BAC. It did not agree with me.

Airam - thanks for your kind words. It's mutual. Hang in there too!

til next time...

[Girl1973]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ugh

Hi everyone, my first day here! I have read through many posts and found a lot of new information. I have tried Naltrexone, it kind of worked but then there were days when I knew I was going out and wanted to drink...now I am back to 375ml/vodka + a beer/glass of wine, whatever is around....on days off I will start thinking about drinking when i wake up, but try and wait til noon, then usually drink beer because I can get buzzed so quickly from the pint of vodka the night before. I could not tell you the last night that I did not drink at least a half pint of vodka (2 years?? necause I was sick - flu). So this is my 2nnd night on a half pint after months or nightly pints. This April I was interning and told I smelled like alcohol, and last week in school my teacher spoke with me after class and said I smelled strongly of alcohol (I had been out and wasted the night before but only had 1 quick shot prior to class). I drink alone in my room each night after work, my s/o knows I drink but does not know exactly how much as I hide it (at least I think I do) - a pint does not even get me drunk anymore, I fear withdrawal. My psychiatrist is cool with prescribing, I see him in a week and would like to try either baclofen or topamax....I found this sight as a part of my research into these drugs. I want to reach this 'switch' I read about, but fear the confusion and other side effects from (I think the Topa?) being that I am in Graduate school. But after the 2nd person this year telling me I smell like alcohol I am done and I need to take a real and concrete approach to this crap! How embarrassing! I also take 50mg zoloft and have .50 clonazepam that I can take up to 3x/day. And I work in a residential drug and alcohol facility so smelling of booze is no good - I am always paranoid!!!!!!! Anyway tanks for listening, hope to link up with you guys and share experiences.