New here and starting Topa and with a question

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Illum - I am sooooooo happy for you! Sounds like you are living the good life and that's great! B'day parties sound like fun...things with hubby, etc. Just really happy for you! I love your posts, so don't skimp on the details -

Thank you, Airam & Sunny! And to WTE - can't wait to read your update!

I did ok with my family. Had a bit too much Wed. nite w/ my sister & her family...wine then sipping on Crown as we stayed up late. No one else drinking more than a glass or two & I was "sneaking" the Crown from my luggage. I acted fine...or so I like to kid myself...I was. Cooking and preparing kept me in line until I finally sat down with the hard stuff way late at night. I just felt guilty to myself wanting/drinking when really NO one in my family drinks more than a glass or two tops. My sister never says a thing and I LOVE her for that.

Thanksgiving I had a glass or two w/ everyone else. All day - that's all. Then I was soooooooooo full I didn't feel like drinking anymore. But later...LOL...was trying to finish off a GOOD bottle of Chardonnay I couldn't stand it going to waste...and drank a bit more out of my water glass very slowly. I only feel guilty b/c, well...why should I be so concerned with wine going to waste?!

I just wanted that buzz too...to relax, soothe the tenseness of my Dad being there & all that he says and does...it was fine. Seriously. Late at night I had 3 glasses of wine with just my sister and a few teenagers millling around eating leftovers...but still felt guilty I HAD to drink!! UGH -

So is it OK I post here not being on TOPA anymore?! I hope so - will be a good thing for me as I go thru the end of the year and not "using" anything...will try not to post so much. Just taking advantage of no one else being here for awhile :-)) XO

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Welcome to Facebook


okay just tried to drop in a link in to what I'm calling my "Frankenstein Triple Cousin Birthday Cake" that went down after dinner yesterday. My two kids and my brother's son who all have their birthday within less than two weeks of each other and we all live in the same town

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

And it took me 2 nights to make the cake

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Illum - I don't have Facebook so can't see your Masterpiece! Must have been something though to take two days to make! Wow!

Houtx - please do stay with us - no, you don't have to be taking Topa to be here - you are a friend and I do hope that you stay around! So few post here any more and i would love to know what is going on with them all. I would like to keep up with you too - I love hearing about what is going on in your life - you make me laugh!! Like telling Illum not to skimp on the details....... LOL However - do you know how many times you said that you felt guilty about drinking, in your post? If you are going to drink, then drink - without the guilt! If you want to cut down, then try and do it, but the guilt won't help you at all. You said that you sipped your wine and took it slowly - that was good. At my M-I-L I had a glass of wine - and even ended up leaving some of it! (mind you, wine really isn't my drink anyway). the Topa seems to be helping me enormously. I am still drinking (SIGH) but only have 1 or 2 each night. don't want any more and don't have any more - but also don't have any AF nights. It seems with me I am either AF or not. No half measures. I am on 200mg a day which is a good dose for me - although I have to look for words sometimes, I don't have the doom and gloom that i get at a higher level, although I might go up to 250 mg and see how I feel on that level.

WTE - looking forward to your tome which you have promised us!

Airam - nice to see you here too!

Everyone else - please check in and let us know how you are getting on - Topa or not - we would love to hear from you.......

Hugs to all,

love, Sun xxx

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

[ATTACH=CONFIG]5955[/ATTACH

don't know if this attachment worked or not.

sun, yes on the topa and Nal. I really feel like I could take the booze or leave it. I am still drinking about a bottle of wine a night though out of habit but I really know that that is what it is and I'm okay with that right now. Drinking during the day does not appeal at all. Hubs had a beer at Sea World yesterday and normally that would have been on my agenda but nope. Grabbed some dinner on the way home and had some wine with. I had another glass of wine next to me while we were trying to get a movie on demand and i completely fell asleep. should have just gone to bed but problem was i woke up, rallied and watched some different shows and stayed up. Oh well, it's the weekend. Attached files [img]/converted_files/1437999=5955-attachment.gif[/img]

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Illum - no, the attach didn't work but thanks for trying anyway. Your desire to drink sounds like mine - now it is habit rather than desire which feels good!! What dosage of topa are you on? I went up to 150 mg this morning but will stay on the 100 mg for the 2nd dose. off to shower ready for work.

Hugs to you,

love, Sun XX

[Girl1973]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oi, the not working is NO good for me! I at least waited until 3:30 today to start and did not get shwasted at my parents on Thanksgiving like last year....but I do seem to have too much time on my hands, I am SOOOO tired all the time! I upped my zoloft to 100mg on my own (from 75mg). I am happy to be away from my last depressing job..oi, oh well

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I was supposed to go up to 200mg on Friday, which I did since i already had it loaded in my pill box, but then I decided to stay at 150 I think for the next couple of weeks which is what I did today.

I'll letting you all into my life here so I hope no one abuses that. I realize that just because you few are the only ones that respond to this part of the site are not the only ones that can view this so I'm going to delete this post after a day or two.

The Garringtons

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

ILLUM- that was SO sweet of you!!!! I loved looking at them - your daughter is so pretty and so talented! I watched her dancing and wanted to tell the audience to shut up!!!! I would never had had the nerve to do that in front of an audience - and the bike pics - thank you SO much for letting me have a look in your life - I feel really touched that you would do that for us here. I also totally understand why you would delete it soon too! That was so cool! You are younger than I thought you were too - not sure how old I thought you were!! I am older than you think I am!! I e-mailed a pic to someone on this forum and she didn't think I was as old as I am - I am happy to e-mail you a pic if you PM me your e-mail - it is nice to put a face to a name don't you think?

I am on 150 mg am and 100 mg pm and feel really good on that. last night I worked until 10.30, came home and had a Guinness, then poured a second and tipped most of it away - just didn't want it. It felt good doing that I feel happy about where I am with it. Even if I don't go AF I think I am happy with what I am drinking now.

thanks again for the pics - wonderful and I am so pleased that you shared with us.

Hugs and love to you,

Sun xx

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I may be older than you think. Got married late so my kids are kind of young relative to my age - I'm 43.

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ilum, i saw your mood icon says: happy!

I'm so glad for you!!!! really.




Writing from my phone is a nightmareQ

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Airam - lovely to see you here - how are things? i know it is hard to write from your phone (well actually I don't - mine just makes phone calls) - but is everything going well??

Hugs and love to you,

Sun xxx

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sunshinedaisies;1012264 wrote: Airam - lovely to see you here - how are things? i know it is hard to write from your phone (well actually I don't - mine just makes phone calls) - but is everything going well??

Hugs and love to you,

Sun xxx

Thank you Sunny!
I'm always here (as you said), but I can not reply :upset:
I always think about my friends here and hope everything is well for them.
My computer at home has a virus or something and I can not access internet, so I try to write from work but it' s not always possible.

Not very well with my parents health but I m trying to thank God for the gift of having them at their age, but it stresses me too much, I have to say.

I have good low alcohol days and a few (really few) days where I cant go anymore and I kind of binge ( I say "kind of" of because it's nothing compared to the past).

Sunny :l:l and all of my friend here. You ve marked a difference in my life.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sweet Airam - thank YOU for starting this thread! YOU have made the difference for ALL of us!!

hugs, Sun XX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Boy what a long and eventful holiday weekend this was. Today was especially busy because we finally followed through with what we'd planned for a while which was a big yard sale with all these things we'd cleaned out of the kid's rooms weeks ago. Sold all of the big stuff - a large bookcase, TV, DVD, VCR, toy boxes, a globe, big set of VHS tapes, and also some very nice book collections. Yea!!! :goodjob::goodjob: But now I'm up and drinking and should just go to bed and I can just feel the dynamic where I sort of resent my husband in some way and stay up to spite him and drink longer, I need help with breaking that mental model. Well getting really tired now.