New here and starting Topa and with a question

[joe12pack]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

thanks. I guess, on second thought, there's no way it could've been the topa. something was in my system that had to work its way out. I've never heard of such a violent reaction to topa and i would've remembered if I had. I think the grief thing, the cold weather and the fact that I was seating horribly, all left me susceptible to germs etc. and I got food poisoning or something. I think it wold be wise to bump back up to 50 in the evening on friday night no? when I don't have to work the next day in the am? that's my plan anyway

one SE I've noticed: weird random tingle on bottom of my right ankle and my left pinky toe

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Joe - yes, I think going up to the 50 is fine and yes, the tingling is a definite SE - sometimes I find it to be way more than a tingling - it is like a fierce pins and needles for me sometimes! Hope that you are feeling better - push the fluids - though not AL. LOL Take care,

Sun XX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Joe - yeah, they say mostly those 24 hr things are food poisoning. Lovely. Hope you are feeling better!

I had one of those epic dreams last night that went back to when I was in college ( maybe because my 2 kids are that age? One is a sophomore in college, the other a senior in HS...lots of talk about college life all the time)...dreamed that I woke up in my dorm room, not knowing how I got there, wondering what had happened the night before...my sister was sitting there and said the college demanded I go to rehab before they would let me or my kids in. I was sooooooooooooooo ashamed AGAIN...just couldn't figure out what had happened. The dream was much more complicated, as they all are, but that was the jist.

Luckily I woke up and realized it was all fiction, but still...hated the fact I was dreaming crap like that. UGH - It was not fun in that half-light of conciousness thinking I had f***ed up again. Sheesh - what is going on with my psyche?? LOL

Have been having more than I should this holiday vacation, too. Wrapping presents, cooking & putting things together...wine wine wine. I need to try something again...maybe a combination NAL & TOPA...2nd time is the charm?? I just know I am not being successful with willpower. I have no willpower right now. Just feel like doing what I always do. I'm mostly fine, but...UGH. New Year's Resolutions just around the corner. In the meantime, I will TRY to moderate in the presence of others. That's the most important thing. Being my bad self alone is one thing...I need to be good. Maybe that will help my dream state too!

Happy Holidays, all !

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey everyone - not much time but we are disappearing down to the end of the page so need to get us back to the top!!

Houtx - you mentioned dreams - I had a doozy the other night - I don't drink wine - ever - well, I dreamed i was carrying a bottle of wine in my coat and for some reason either I fell or whatever and it broke and I got all this glass in my arm - and I had to pull it out, but I couldn't let anyone know or else they would know I had been drinking (I never drink wine), and they weren't small pieces but large chunks of the bottom and as I pulled them out they were bleeding like crazy, so I was wrapping my jumper (sweater) round it so no-one would know it was bleeding. This went on for a few times - the carrying and the falling and the bleeding - heaven know what the dream was telling me but I did not like it!! It hurt each time I had to pull the glass out of my arm. Dreams are odd. I was trying to work out my dream too - any takers please????

Would like to post more but have to be up at 5.00 - last day to work before Christmas (YEAH) so really need to get ready for bed - have to sort out clothes for tomorrow and sort dogs. Hugs to all,

love, Sun XXX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Merry Christmas to you all

Love and hugs, Sun xxx

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!!!

I haven't been on here since before we left for Iowa. Been having a wonderful time, white Christmas and all.

Been very moderate until last night, but even then like you said Houtx I was moderate in the presence of others as far as the party we went to last night with my husband's cousins who are notorious for their wild parties and crazy drinking (three wild women who all drink too much!!). So I was good there but then did come back to his sister's house and polish off a bottle of wine while playing Santa. But it was pretty intentional. the prior 2 nights I was very very good and I'm so curious if his sister and mom have noticed the difference. Especially since the night before my hubs got drunk and was kind of a jerk again.

So ladies, really weird about those dreams! Don't have any advice for you though.

Well I'm in the midst of two VERY EXTREMELY SPOILED families here and it's pretty spectactular.

Despite my reluctance in wanting to come on this trip we're really having a wonderfully magical time. Hope you all are as well!!!!

Love, peace and happiness,

Illuminae

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Happy Day After!

Sunshine, we are certainly having the weird dreams. Have no clue why or what they mean and not sure I want to! LOL Yours sound especially bizarre...but dreams they are and shall remain.

Illum- your white Xmas in Iowa sounds beautiful! Good for you, you are doing so well. I often think of you people from here when I am faced with "do I" or "don't I" regarding having a drink...Tonight I went out to eat w/ my daughter and had water instead of wine...very proud of myself for that simple little decision. I have been staying up way too late trying to get things done, and having wine. Going to bed in a few minutes tonight and then off to Dallas for a few days. Hoping/knowing I will keep it all together there.

I have not been very good at all this holiday season...thinking I am going/trying to moderate, but I sure haven't. I just stay up late doing things and continue to drink wine as I go. Sometimes I fall asleep on the sofa or even at my desk...hate that! Hoping to get my act together for the New Year. Seriously hoping. I'm already thinking of my Resolutions, so we'll see...

Til next time, hope alls well w/ everyone else -

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning everyone - I am up early this morning - have to drive into St Louis early. Glad to see that all had a good Christmas - I have kept my drinking to the one of two Guinness mostly and feel good about that. Houtx - I never ever make Resolutions - I feel by doing so, I am setting myself up for failure - I either do them for say the 4th of Jan or do them for the 29th Dec or something - no 1st Jan for me!! Smoking is one that springs to mind and this is one I HAVE TO DO and stick with this time. Hubs is so disappointed with me - and that is far worse than him getting cross. He doesn't say anything - I can just FEEL it!

Houtx - you sound as if you have it together for the most part. apart from staying up late trying to get things done - so maybe once this is all over, you can start going to bed earlier and then won't drink so much?? the rest of the time you are doing well - right??

Illum - you too, I think that you are doing well too for the most part - it sounds as if you are in control and know what you are doing (as in intentionally polishing off a bottle) which although it sounds daft, is different to just drinking drinking - I am not making excuses here - but I understand. I am sure many on the site would be horrified at what I have just typed but we know where we are going.

Airam - how was your Christmas and how are you doing? would love to hear from you? Joe - how about you too? how are you feeling? how did your drinking go over Christmas?

Britches - you too - you are being missed - can you check in and let us know how you are doing? How did your Christmas go? Also - everyone - what are your plans for new Years? mine are easy - in bed by 9.00 !!! LOL Seriously - I am not a late bird!!

Dreams? you around? same goes for you....where are you - how are you? Started again on the Topa??

Love and hugs to all of you, post when you can,

Love, Sun xx

[Britches]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well Good morning all! It is 8:30 am here in No VA. The northeast is being pounded with snow-we just got a little but heavy, heavy winds!
Glad everyone had a good Christmas- I did a lot of drinking over the holiday -BUT yesterday decided to get back with the program. It will be better as this is a slow work week and if I am irritable it will be easier. Got the "all in one" started that ordered the hypno tapes -have all the vitamins and will start topa again on Jan 3. so I plan for jan to be a sober one!
Very hard to have my grandson with us for only half Christmas day and VERY HARD for him. Anyway I am hoping that 2011 will be a good year for all of us!
Good to hear from you Sun! You are always a bright spot!
xoxo.
Britches

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just a quick note as I have to run. Been doing well. Drinking of course but so far I have been okay. Gotten tipsy and stayed up kinda late but I haven't done anything stupid. My husband's cousins came over last night, the ones that had the wild party on xmas eve, and one of them told us she totally forgot the end of the night. That used to be me!! It was nice to have someone else taking that spotlight!!!

We're off for our 3rd and last family Christmas dinner and then we can relax for the rest of the visit thank goodness!!!

I head back to California on New Years.

Houtx, my 2 cents is you should try the Nal/Topa combo, it's working good for me. Okay hubs is calling for me to get going.

Hugs,

Illuminae

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Late Merry Christmas to everybody!

I m having a hard time with my parents and aunt. They have been living with me for a while. I LOVE them, but it is hard. They have illnnesses, they are not as sharp as they used to, thay are old. Just old.


I ll write more when I m back, I m in Ixtapa spending the holidays wihmy WHOLE family. Not easy for someone who drinks and nobody knows....

But, at the same time.... I m happy. One more year and my beloved parents are with me. My nieces and nephew are SO funny and entertainig. The sea, the beaches and the weather is lovely. I ll survive, ha!



i wish YOU, all of you, the best for next year. A happy, peaceful, non al, year..

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

SPAM- IGNORE THIS POST

[joe12pack]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

hey all, happy new year and I hope everybody had a good Christmas/holiday season. I started taking 25mg topa in the AM today and it seems to make me feel more even. I think the topa wearing off in the am made me feel weird.

Is feelig kind of down a side effect? because I feel sort of melancholy. maybe it's the weather or my dog dying (but honestly people have been giving me old pics and I've been enjoying the fond memories. I was so lucky to have such a special friend. the crying part has been over since day 3 or 4) or maybe it's the sickness or my crazy family. but I think it could be topa. also I notice my appetite is less, and it always feels like I have to go #2, but sometimes I don't really have to go, just gas. is that a Se for anybody? this could be still recovering from the sickness as well. been drinking a good bit but nothing crazy. as long as I stay off liquor I'm pretty decent.

this time of year is kind of depressing. can't wait for spring. I hate getting out of bed when it's cold like this. I'm catching back up financially, slowly but surely, looking good, making good music. bring on '011 for all of us!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there Joe - at 25 mg I doubt that the Topa is making you feel down - it did for me at 300 mg which is why I had to taper down - I can't go that high without that SE. I take my dose (150 mg) in the am then I take my 2nd dose (100 mg) at lunchtime - I never take it in the evening any more - you will work out your own schedule for it. Dear Joe - you will feel melancholy - your dog, the time of year - all sorts of things. the appetite being less is a SE of Topa - re the other Se - I have no idea - that could be from your sickness! I had no trouble re that with the Topa!

Good to see you here - Happy new year if you aren't here before - take care,

Hugs, sun xx

[Dreams2thrive]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello!!!
Sunshine... I can't tell you how much it meant to me to see you ask about me!
Thank you!!
I have been drinking 1+ bottle per day. I want to start the topa again, but kind of want to wait until after new years. I am afraid if I start now and drink over it on new years I will ruin everything again. I am such a believer in Topa, and I KNOW when I start again I will not want to drink... and part of that makes me not want to take it. Crazy huh?
I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas, and I wish you all a very safe, happy, and prosperous new year! I'm going to start reading the past posts and see what I missed, and get to know the new people.