New here and starting Topa and with a question

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello everyone!

First of all, I want to wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year.

Sorry it took me so long to write.

WTE, I?m sorry you are feeling bad. When I was reading your post my only thought was WOW!, because you were practically describing me.

At the begining of December I had some plumbing problems in one of the bathrooms, those turned out to be BIG problems. I had to completely redo the three bathrooms at home. Including plumbing, tiles, furmiture, everything. Lots of money and work.
So, I decided I wasn't in the mood for Christmas/Holidays decorations.
No tree, no presents, a very simple dinner with my parents.
And lots of drinking.
One more time, I stopped taking the topa. I don't know why I do that. I don't have very bad SE, and it really helps me. But I keep sabotaging myself. :no:

I drank way too much every single day.

Yesterday night I was very depressed. I had a complete meltdown. Crying like crazy, feelings of worthlessness, "I am a failure", so very ashamed of myself.
These holidays were horrible. Like every year I went with my extended family to this beautiful house in the beach. The place is nice and everything, but I wasn't ok. So many people around me, kids, siblings, aunts, etc. Locking myself in the bathroom to drink:no:
That makes me feel so bad, so embarrassed.
This has to stop.
I don't think I can pour out all the alcohol in my house yet. But I'm again :headbanger: on the topa. Again 25mg. I NEED TO STOP DRINKING.

I'm glad many of you had happy holidays.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Goodness you guys, so sorry things are not working out for everyone but also glad you are here, talking to us and being honest!!

Airam, how horrible about your bathrooms and all of that damage!! We intentionally remodeled 2 of our 3 bathrooms at the same time and that was a small nightmare. Can't imagine doing it as an emergency.

I was kicking myself today for staying up too late the last two nights. did not make it easy to go back to work! And I woke up at 5am for no good reason. Think I'm still adjusting to being back in a different time zone.

I was proud that even though I did not feel that great I kept my appointment at the gym and started back up working out. That did make me feel somewhat better.

Some friends took us to dinner last night and some others to dinner tonight. I'm looking forward to seeing them but kind of wish I could just go home and veg out!!!! This is the gal's last night in town though and I won't get to see her if I don't go and they have Christmas gifts for us.

For those of you feeling down I really hope that things pick up, and like Joe said, at least the pressure is off with the holidays over.

Sending my best positive thoughts your way.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning to all - AIRAM - I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad! With the holidays, the plumbing, the kids and family, just general stress, I can understand, but I also understand that the AL doesn't help, so I am so pleased that you are back on the Topa. I think that when things start to get stressful, we tend to think that AL will help as it helps us to zone out and go to that happy place - of course, when we come back to reality, things are just the same as they were except now we have a hangover - and the guilt - to boot! I would try not to have the guilt - easy to say I know, but the guilt isn't going to help you any at all! Starting on the Topa again is a great thing to do - SO, NO GUILT, just take it one step at a time eh? Hang in here with us - check in more as I for one, would love to see you here on YOUR thread. We are here for you, you know that. Just take it slowly - you know you can do it. Christmas is over - your plumbing emergency is over - I assume all the family is back to where they came from, so life can get back to normal and you can get back on the right path! Love you my dear - get rid of the guilt and hang in there.

WTE - how wonderful to see you too. I am so sorry that things didn't work out for you. I can understand you trying to ignore Christmas - sometimes I wish I could go to sleep in November and wake up in Jan - but life isn't like that! anyway you did and as you said, you won't do it again. I think it is so strange the way Topa works with us when we take it one time and stop it and then take it again - like me when i took it the 2nd time - it did nothing. So, like Airam, I went back to the 25mg and started again. Right now I am on 150mg daily - supposed to take a 2nd dose but rarely remember it. Drinking 1 or 2 Guinness a day, but never have an AF day. I would like to. SO< you poured out all the wine yesterday - and I do hope that you will be back in the next few days to let us know what is happening. I hate when one of us disappears from the boards. It usually isn't for a good reason. I hope that you are feeling better in yourself and more hopeful?

Illum - I was up at 5.00 too - but opened the back door to see if Ben wanted to go out - he didn't, so I went back to bed and wonder of wonders, so did he! So I got to sleep in this morning. It really sounds as if you have control over your drinking which is so nice to hear! You sound so much happier than you did in your earlier posts. I laughed at your eyelid skin peeling off - maybe if enough of mine peeled off, it would look like I had an eyelid lift? Where were you - I need to go there!!!! Also, great re your hubs having too much and you didn't! Well, not great but you know what I mean. Where is Houtx?? We haven't heard from her in a while have we?

Best go and do some stuff I suppose - love and hugs to all

Sun XX

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thank you so much Sunny.
You are always here to cheer us up :l

Yes, the guilt is killing me. I'll try to take it slowly. The topa was really working for me, I had many AF days and when drinking I never was out of control. I have to be patient. I remember being desperate for the topa to start working, but it takes time.

WTE, I forgot to say I'm very happy you are back.

Ilum, I love, love reading your posts. You are really breaking this addiction. I'm so happy for you.

I miss Houtx and Clare. Britches and Dream come back please. Some of you said you'll be restarting Topa in January. It's time!

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh airim - We certainly can relate. BUT! It IS over and we made it through it and thankfully we have both had the brains to get back on board with the Topa. Guess we still have a touch of sense about us! We need to keep reminding each other to not be such knuckleheads and just stop taking it again. Have to give it time to work - and work with it. =)

Illum - You sound great! Got your email and will respond shortly - you are so darling!

Joe - Hang in there. I am seriously considering TSM along side of Topa. We know it at least helps and I hope you don't become a stranger here. We need each other here. Glad to hear you made it through the holiday hell as well ...

Sun - As always our cheerleader! It confuses me how Topa works (or doesn't) and I'm sorry to hear you're not having the AF days you wished for. Hopefully they are just around the corner - although forgetting your afternoon dose is probably not helping? HA! Hate when that happens! It's what was happening to me until I finally just said screw it. UGH.

So yesterday was day 2 back on 50 mg in the evening. I start at that only because it's what I did the time I had such great success before and I don't seem to have any SEs from it. Trying to follow what worked in the past. Although I think I may need to add into the mix getting really sick. HA! Just kidding.

I've slept terrible for the two past nights, which is very uncommon for me and I think I may need to take it a bit earlier. I fall asleep fine but after about 3-4 hours wake to a much too busy mind and toss and turn the rest of the night. If I remember correctly, this passes pretty fast. Goofy dreams are back as well ...

Just trying to get my head wrapped around a new year and new starts and putting myself into different situations rather than repeating old patterns. Keeping booze in the house for me is just too difficult. I have way too much flexibility in my job that I am able to start work at my desk in the mornings, a bloody mary or some other nonsense will call to me, and off I go again. If in the morning I just make sure there is nothing here, I get my act together, get out of the house and don't end up having that first glass of wine until much later in the day. It seems no matter when I start or what I am drinking, I sip about a drink every hour and a half ... so it makes a MAJOR difference when I start. Pffttt.

Hello to the rest of you! Houtx we REALLY need to catch up!

WTE

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

So over the last few days I have also not been taking my night time dose. With that severe dehydration business that happened to me in Iowa combined with SEs and generally not bringing my drinking down beyond a certain level for the most part I decided there was not much of a point of taking the higher dose.

I also realized that I was not taking any of the vitamins the whole time I was gone. didn't want to bother with lugging them all with me. Well between being back, getting back on my eating habits and the vitamin supplements and after only two workouts, I'm already feeling a TON better physically.

Also I got some puzzling conflicting info from a guy over on the TSM site. There's this guy who calls himself BenTSM that is a real advocate for Naltrexone that posts videos on Youtube periodically about TSM being the ONLY cure for alcoholism and I added a note to his thread over there saying that while I apreciated his new video where he says that, people over here have found other cures. A person named St. Vincent over there replied to my post saying that TSM is the only method that really can claim it's a cure and that the meds over here are really only a substitute for alcohol like methodone is for heroine addicts.

"Illum, I think Ben is referring to TSM de-addicting a person versus bac and topa suppressing alcoholism by serving as substitute drugs. That's part of the reason you have to taper off those meds and take them indefinitely. We're splitting hairs here and in the end who cares as long as the goal of indifference to AL is achieved."

He goes on to talk about Baclofen so maybe that's how that one works and it's different than Topamax?

so then I went back and read some of the MWO book. and it says that "For drinkers, topiramate works by washing away excessive dopamine in the brain, which both reduces
the pleasurable effects of alcohol and eliminates craving." So I don't think that is the same as what St. V was saying???

Anyhow, I wanted to point out something the book says to those of you who have stopped the Topa. she very strongly states that you should still take the All in One and other Herbal supplements even if you are not taking the Topa and that should help you keep moderate. I don't know if that will help or not, but maybe worth trying??

I just know that now that I am taking some of them again (I"m out of some) I really am feeling better.

One area I am not so much though is that I am very tense at night - find myself waking up at 4 or 5 am with teeth clenched. Very sore jaw and stiff neck. Don't like that at all. So I might go back to trying some of the hypnotherapy to relax? Hubs did give me a giift certificate for a massage for xmas so I should definitely use that. I know I have the teeth clenching habit anyway but don't know when it's ever been this bad.

Did I tell you all? I don't think so. Found out before xmas that I have to get braces. Seriously!! 43 years old and had them as a teenager. My teeth have shifted and my bite is wrong and between the clenching and the clashing wrong I am loosening my own teeth so have to get them fixed! Gar!!!! :upset: Getting the XRAYs and molds done on Friday. They say one year to 18 months. Mostly will be a metal mouth but they will put the clear ones on the top front for an extra $500 bucks :H I might have them at the same time as my son. He goes in to find out about his teeth next month. Now that would be a riot.

Okay, enough for now.

Love ya, :h

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi my good peeps!!

So great to read the posts from sad to glad! Again, all too numerous to respond to everyone, but will try:
Sunny - you are our cheerleader & I'm sorry I did not address you earlier! You are so cute & dear - glad alls (relatively?) well with you.

Illum - your vacation was a blast to follow here and elsewhere. I was so jealous of the snow and great fun and "magical" times w/ your extended family. What a great vacation it seemed to be! I really LOVE your posts, like so many...loved the staying at home on NY's eve watching movies with the kids (drinking). LOL It's the occasion - they were having too much fun to notice too! BTW, I LOVE Jumanji.

Airam, my heart ached for you. Wish we were in the same country/state/city/county/neighborhood and could get together. I hate you were having such a bad time and feeling sooooooooooooo blue. Hoping you are better now. PLease do not beat yourself up. As you said earlier, we are here for each other. No one understands the drunken "us" we are, better than this group here. Some days we are better or worse, but yes, the exchange is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO therapeutic and helpful. You are not alone. You are not the worst one on here. No one is more extreme than anyone else. Day by day, gf.

Feeling the pain and sadness and anxst of the holidays of so many...everyone on here drinks to get through and we hate ourselves and then come on here and realize we are not alone. Raise your hand if you don't feel better immediately after logging on and sharing - if not just reading the posts. I'm sure the lurkers feel the same. GAWD - I sure do!! Thanks everyone for being real!

We are comrades all. As far as SEs from TOPA (Joe), I did feel some depression as well on it, but nothing to compare to the ultimate "TOPA dopa" I felt at 200 mgs. I had managed it pretty well, but it finally got the better of me. Loss for words, not being able to explain things or even grope for my subliminal storage of information to pass along to my students...I couldn't do it any longer. And the subtle "listening" for it to happen...ehhhhhhhhh. But again, I did feel several profound occasions where I felt indifferent to drinking. I am thinking I may start NAL again with low doses of TOPA. But want to wait a while longer & get all that stuff out of my system before starting over.

WTE - yes, we need to catch up. I was disappointed to hear RSF guy did not invite you over for Xmas and you spent it alone. I usually spend Xmas eve alone, and am fine...champagne and a special dinner for one, along with last minute wrapping/stockings for my 2 teenagers...plus a movie marathon that extends to NY's Eve w/ a Sex & the City marathon (alone again, and am fine)...it is sad to experience my kids getting older and less interested in spending time w/ me. Altho they care and do NOT like to hear mom is alone...I keep that to myself yet still find myself increasingly more alone. I felt your blues/blahs about the holiday and TOTALLY understand. It's nice working up to it, and then THE day...kindof like the "30 minutes and Thanksgiving dinner is over" feeling...Anyway, deep breath, new year!!

UGH - where is my Price Charming?! I am now shopping a new website...LOL It keeps me distracted! Bottom line, friends: THANK YOU so much for being here! I care and love and enjoy all your posts and appreciate your understanding of every single one of us on here.

Happy New Year to us all - keep posting and keep on keeping on!

XO

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wonderful posts ! No time to reply right now - have to get to work but will be back.......

Hugs, Sun xxx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Still n reply - but had to bump us up as we were disappearing to the (gulp.....) NEXT PAGE ! Am off til 2.00 tomorrow so plan on answering posts before I go to work!!
Hugs all,

love, Sun

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun you're so funny I keep checking and getting excited that there is an update and then pfftt!! nothing! HA! So I will put something.

Did something today I haven't done in ages. Went to a meeting off site from 3-4pm so had some time between being off work and needing to pick up the kids. Could have picked them up early, could have run some errands could have gone home and taken a quick nap ... but went and had a couple of drinks instead. This is a REALLY old habit that resurfaced. I had a SUPER BUSY week and today was especially hectic, incredibly so for a Friday. I was running nonstop all day from the get go. In fact it was so crazy I started the day at 7:30am on a conference call on my cell phone and then joined another one on my headset so I was literally on two conf. calls at once for like an hour and things just kept going from then on.

So anyhow, I haven't felt the urge to do that - the catch a drink before getting the kids thing that is- for a very long time. Basically since starting on naltrexone. But today I just think I felt like it as a relaxing reward for my long week, plus I'm at the climax of this really great book I'm reading and I wanted to have some time to spend reading since I barely had any this whole week. I usually get to at lunch time at least and I really didn't this week. In any case the other positive effects of this treatment still held true in so far as I didn't continue on to get blotto....

I had my drinks (and a snack and caught up with my reading), stopped at the store to buy stuff for dinner, picked up some videos, got the kids, we all met up at home and had a great family night. We made do-it-yourself homemade pizzas and watched a movie so it was cool. I didn't have another drink until the pizzas were finished. :goodjob:

One other wild thing I didn't share the other day. Two nights ago right after Hubs got back from Iowa we had been watching TV and he was really tired so decided to go to bed but I wasn't ready to so I started watching something else. He got all ready for bed and I thought he was probably already asleep and then he just came out into the living room, walked up to me and planted a huge makeout kiss on me! And then he just went back into the bedroom without saying anything. Now that hasn't happened in a really long time. It was pretty sweet. If I didn't know he was so tired I would have thought he would have wanted me to turn off my show and you know....

We haven't actually done the deed in a while but you know how it is when you've been married for a long time with kids and it was just too tiring and awkward at his sister's house. Okay, maybe TMI.

As I said it was a busy day, in addition to my many meetings, I got my eyebrows waxed, and I got my stupid teeth X-Rayed, molded, etc. for my stupid braces (hopefully I sound like a sullen teenager because that's how I feel having to have to do this again!!!!)

Sunshine, I feel good raising our post up with some content.

For the rest of you...

POST! POST!~ POST!!! :h

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I m here!

Im still at 25 mg. Tomorrow I ll go up to 50.
Except for somnolence, no SE.
Even at this low dose I have a lessened desire to drink, but still...
I just need to keep taking it. :bang

I ll reply tomorrow to you posts. :h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Airam - I was going to post earlier and then my 24 yr year old came over in floods of tears - she is so depressed - money trouble - she is overweight, has no boyfriend, is going off for business trip tomorrow - has no money, is behind on car payment, needs to get her life together, can't sort herself out, doesn't know what to do.....SO, we have spent the last two hours going through her finances, a plan for getting her sorted, giving her some cash so she has some money to go with, working on a budget, and giving lots of hugs!!! I really feel for her and told her that she should have come to me sooner - it would have been much easier to sort out then! It is out of my reach now but we will get it taken care of somehow and I made her promise that NEXT time (and heaven forbid there IS a next time), she will come to me first - thank goodness Hubs doesn't handle the money!!! He would absolutely go ballistic!! Well, what are mums for anyway?

Anyway hopefully now I can finally reply to this thread! I haven't been very good actually. twice, I have gone over my limit of two Guinness. I have had three one night and four another. which means I must start going back up on the Topa. Obviously 150 mg isn't enough for me to keep the cravings down to the amount of Guinness that I need to keep to. thing is I have had some health issues over the past month or so - as you may or may not know, I had Breast cancer 4 years ago - to cut a long story short, I thought it had metastasized to my bones. NOT using that as an excuse but I have been going through tests and seeing my Oncologist and also had a -what I think now- was a virus - where I have been nauseated for 6 weeks! My onc was concerned and was running all kinds of tests - I lost weight and have an appt with my GP - then the nausea went away - I feel fine. All the cancer tests came back fine so I am free and clear - but it was a worry - I know, NOT an excuse to drink, BUT !! The whole thing was a bit of a nightmare and although deep down I think I knew I was fine, I was still just a tad worried. Anyway, life goes on and now i am ready to get back in the saddle and start being serious about this whole drinking thing again!!

WTE - How are you doing - are you still on the 50 mg? or have you gone up yet? How are you doing? I too find it really odd the way that Topa works. I have been steady at the 150 mg so am hoping that by going up now that it will work for me - I really don't want to go back down to the 25 mg AGAIN. I am seeing my regular GP tomorrow morning for blood test results and as it is am going to have to tell him about the drinking which is going to disappoint him. I hate doing that but hopefully he will understand. Yesterday I took an extra 50 mg in the afternoon and only had 2 Guinness last night - today I didn't and am on my 3rd. I am a fool to myself. Have you tried Melatonin for the sleeping? I take a 3 mg tablet about 15 mins before bed and it works so well and I don't feel groggy ion the morning - usually if something makes you drowsy all i have to do it look at the label and am asleep but this is wonderful stuff! Re when you start drinking - I am fine whatever time I start - if I start at 2.00 in the afternoon, by the time I have had my 3 (or shame on me) 4, I will stop - no matter the time. Do you keep going til bedtime then? So, please let us know how you are doing won't you? this thread was on the SECOND PAGE!!!!!. We all need to post more - me included !!

Illum - I started taking the All-One when I was first here and it really made me feel good - for reasons way beyond my comprehension I don't take it anymore - it is in the cupboard! I need to start it again - it did make a difference in the way I felt! I got the veggie one - the green one and really liked it so I am going to tell you all that I WILL start having it every morning again - I need to build myself up again and put on some weight!

Re the TSM site and Ben - I don't know. didn't really understand most of it (Topa Brain?) Re the being tense at night - do you meditate? I do - and find myself so relaxed!! I am so sorry about your braces. That is a real bummer. do you have to have them or are they saying you should - what would happen if you didn't? I had to laugh re you thinking something had been posted only to find it was me saying I WILL post - I know exactly what you mean - like when i found that spam post and thought someone had posted! I am sorry! I just didn't want our thread to disappear. But I do know exactly how you felt!
I also understand the drinking when you wouldn't have these days - it is odd how old habits die hard. We still think that we deserve that drink - that is the thinking that we have to get out of isn't it? Like me - with the good results from my oncologist - first thing I thought - "I need to celebrate with a drink". WRONG SUN !!!! I should not reward myself with a drink. Re the TMI re Hubs - again - had to laugh - maybe he wasn't as tired as he would have had you think????? It has been a long time for Hubs and me - probably TMI as you said, but we have a strange marriage. Thanks for raising our post with some content!!! I love Your posts and really like when I see that you have posted! Hugs to youXX

Houtx - lovely to hear from you too!! Haven't talked to you in a while. Yes, all is well with me!! Apart from having one too many Guinness now and then - but that will be taken care of very soon!! I agree - Illums vacation was a blast to follow wasn't it - I love her posts!! I agree re Airam - I wish too that we could all get together - wouldn't it be awesome? But then I think - it would be a good reason for a drink fest!!!!! Were you on your own for Christmas Houtx? Or just Christmas eve? I had to smile at you wondering where your Prince Charming was - Prince charming is just a tosser in Tin foil!!! I know it is easy for me to say, being married and all, but honestly, if anything happened to hubs, there is nothing on earth that would make me EVER go looking for anyone else - NOTHING. Tosser in tin Foil - Really !!! How is the drinking going? or did I miss that bit? Sorry if I did. Lots to answer and I am trying so hard to get it all in!!

Airam - lovely to see you here again - how are your parents doing? Keep taking the Topa!! Keep in touch with us - whenever you don't post I think -"this is Her thread - where is she?" We miss you when you aren't here.

britches - where are you? you haven't posted in a long time either...how goes it??

I am about posted out! You are probably all asleep after reading this too! Still - you asked for a post - and here it is !!! LOL - lorry loads of hugs to you all, and love too,

Sun XXX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well I will chime in and between Sun and I keep the post alive until all you other dear people do have the time and inclination to do so.

I had to work all weekend with my military duties. i usually dread it but it really wasn't so bad. I mean I was very tired but I recall a lot of the dread was that I was resentful that I couldn't drink and stay up late because I had to get up early on Sat and Sun or else I would be hung over and still have to work all day....

I'm actually stimulated by this new military job so it wasn't too much of a chore besides the getting up early and frankly I think it was nice to get away from the kids after being around them so long after all the vacation time. Love them dearly of course but if you have them I'm sure you know what I mean about needing a break and adult time.

Also had very nice 'family night' evenings every night over the weekend which seems to be something a bit new and pleasing. Last night went to dinner cause there was no way I was cooking after working all day and then we came home and played our new "Band Hero" game that the kids just love (and we do to. Me and hubs love to sing so we do the bit that is like doing karaoke and the kids play the instruments). Then tonight we did a simple dinner of tacos and burritos, had one friend over, and had the kids play old school games (battleship, trouble, that sort of stuff). why I'm still awake I'm not sure. I just always have this overwhelming need for 'me' time.

I was super tired earlier. In fact we were watching TV and I was almost falling asleep, then we watched a really funny show and I got a second wind. Hubs went to bed. I said I was coming right behind him and I meant it. then I let the dog in, straightened things up a bit, and checked facebook. I'll tell you part of it is... that only took me about 10 minutes and by that time he is already passed out and snoring like a mother fucker. (and I only use that kind of language cause if you could hear him you would know it is appropriate)

- Oh funny side conversation I've had before... is the proper grammar:

A) mother fucker
B) motherfucker
C) mother-fucker

Disclaimer: I'm not sure if there is a correct answer, but my preference is B :H

I know I'm a sort of rambler my friends, but I appreciate those of you who have said that you enjoy reading my posts. I seem to be in a roll and in a certain mood so I will tell you something more about myself...

I have always had an interest in writing and had a certain satisfaction with it in high school mostly, a tiny bit in college (not much there since I went to an engineering school). Anyhow, when I 'graduated' from my one and only official rehab and decided to try to enroll in positive activities I went back to school for Fiction writing. I also had been dabbling in cooking classes off and on throughout the whole time of drinking and not drinking which is still a very big passion of mine. Anyhow... I took these writing classes and wrote some stories. Some of my friends and family have read them and think they are okay. They're not great, but they have some humor and some irony. And I also wrote some poems that have some emotion...

Anyway, I guess all I'm getting at is that I like to write and I like some attention. I'll be COMPLETELY HONEST. I got really mad over at the TSM site when I bared my soul and posted my weekly progress or commented on stuff and nobody said anything. I'd check back for one day. the next day... my thread would be off the page (sound familiar sun?) and it would make me mad!)

That's why I love you guys and miss you when we don't hear. On the flip side if you want more crap from me I can probably bring it! And I don't exactly mean my day to day activity but if someone wants to read one of my stories or something.... (oh god I just sounded needy-at least in my head-)

Changing tack, me and WTE might be getting together soon since we actually live close so we have exchanged phone numbers so I hope that we can do that.

Okay, 'nuff from me!!!!!

goodjob:

LET'S HEAR FROM SOME OF YOU OTHER WONDERFUL OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

one more thing... even though I still drink ... drank last night... drank tonight....
just saw that both times there was wine left in glasses and bottles. That used to never be the case. Oh and another thing....can you imagine me sitting here typing coherently, telling you anything about anything????

:goodjob::goodjob:

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

So good morning and one more bit of TMI, you may have been right about the other night Sunny...

Here i went to bed at 1am and..... let's just say I got serviced well!! :H Or maybe I did the servicing. Either way, long overdue :H :H

off to work LOL!!!!!