Hello everyone!
First of all, I want to wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year.
Sorry it took me so long to write.
WTE, I?m sorry you are feeling bad. When I was reading your post my only thought was WOW!, because you were practically describing me.
At the begining of December I had some plumbing problems in one of the bathrooms, those turned out to be BIG problems. I had to completely redo the three bathrooms at home. Including plumbing, tiles, furmiture, everything. Lots of money and work.
So, I decided I wasn't in the mood for Christmas/Holidays decorations.
No tree, no presents, a very simple dinner with my parents.
And lots of drinking.
One more time, I stopped taking the topa. I don't know why I do that. I don't have very bad SE, and it really helps me. But I keep sabotaging myself. :no:
I drank way too much every single day.
Yesterday night I was very depressed. I had a complete meltdown. Crying like crazy, feelings of worthlessness, "I am a failure", so very ashamed of myself.
These holidays were horrible. Like every year I went with my extended family to this beautiful house in the beach. The place is nice and everything, but I wasn't ok. So many people around me, kids, siblings, aunts, etc. Locking myself in the bathroom to drink:no:
That makes me feel so bad, so embarrassed.
This has to stop.
I don't think I can pour out all the alcohol in my house yet. But I'm again :headbanger: on the topa. Again 25mg. I NEED TO STOP DRINKING.
I'm glad many of you had happy holidays.
Comment