New here and starting Topa and with a question

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

DYD, know what you mean about the ghost town. Weird. Interesting that you said about the bottle and 1/2. That was my norm most "functioning" days then there would be the really out of control ones. Glad you're not having the SE's so much. I had the wicked eye twitches adn I still have lots of foot tingling but have gotten pretty used to it.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning - yes, DYD - I did stop taking it but at the 300mg I found I got really depressed - well, it was a weird sort of depressed so came off it to see if that would go away - and the odd thing was, it didn't seem to - UNTIL I had a drink. Go figure!! This time I am watching the feelings very closely to see when/if that feeling kicks in. I think that you are doing well - the Topa has such a subtle effect you don't really notice what it is doing, until like you, you notice you aren't drinking as much..... and don't be embarrassed - ever here! When you see your doc, you will really want to get 50 and 100 mg pills from now. I am glad that your SE's aren't that bad - I play with my tabs timing depending on my work shifts.

Yes, Illum - a ghost town in the middle of all the Bac explains us perfectly doesn't it? Hope things are going well with you? Do you EVER hear from WTE? Or was that Houtx that 'knew' her? I think it is Houtx....

Anyway - have to get ready for work. It is SO cold here this morning - 9 degrees F. I want it to go away.

Hugs and love to you all,

sun XX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I see WTE on facebook and HOUTX sometimes there too but not much. WTE seems to be doing fine - having a lot of fun lately according to her facebook posts.

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

At my first visit the doctor gave me two scripts - one for 25 mg and one for 100 mg. I only had the first one filled (the 25 mg) so I could see how I did. I'll go ahead and have the other onefilled for the 100 mg. I can't believe that this year my prescription co-pay went down for generics. I only pay $5 for a month's prescription. That is not a typo and I do feel very lucky.

I do notice that when I type I have to re-read what I write. I am usually a very good writer and I'm not doing so well! I had to write a letter for the teachers at my son's school and I had to read and re-read it several times because it really wasn't up to my usual standards. I think that is the Topamax messing with me.

I find around 3:00 to 4:00 every day I really would love to have a nap but after 5:00 or so I do okay. I keep hoping that the longer I am on the medicine that this will pass. Has this been your experience?

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I recall getting very sleepy around that time of day when i was around that dosage in the beginning.

Now my new thing on TOPA is that I get really sleepy when I'm watching TV at night when I never used to. It's so funny cause hubs got kind of mad last night and said we needed to talk about my habits because he's worried about how I stay up late either chatting with you all or on facebook or whatever and falling asleep in the living room doing whatever.

Fact 1: I am not drinking that much less in the evenings than I was before NAL+TOPA but am drinking much more slowly and I am drinking less overall in a 24 hour period (i.e. no daytime drinking and no desire to do so).
Fact 2: I used to be jolly'er and stay up this late with hubs all the time and we would listen to music and talk about cool stuff...but I wouldn't remember what we watched or talked about by the end of the night because I was more drunk and he always seemed to have a good time and of course he was always more in control of his inebriation.
*Note: He would only complain about my drinking then if we had a disagreement that didn't go his way. He loves it when I'm drunk if I'm frisky or we're listening to music and reminiscing and stuff like that. That is part of the strong dynamic where I think I could never go completely sober if I ever want to stay in this marriage, which I do. But I work really hard to understand how his mind works and how he responds to me and how I should play against his moods just to be sure that I don't make any major mistakes.

Fact 3: The tables have turned and he has started going to bed earlier. So I know part of that is this thing that is weird to him that I just want to stay up late watching TV and drink a bit and decompress ;cause the rest of the day I WORK WORK WORK. But for me the idea was that if he had given me a moment I would have taken a break and given him some attention but now he's just sleep apnea=ing himself to a slow death.

And you're all welcome to get involved in the general situation mixed with the specific.

Gosh, I just had a very busy day and I feel like my hubs is trying some mind fucking right now. Weird. He tried that years ago. we've been ;married a long time, I'm just not sure where his discomfort is coming from and where he's thinking he has to exert some kind of extra control.

Dunno

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there DYD and Illum - I have been without a working keyboard for two days - I could read but couldn't post - it was MURDER! Yes DYD the Topa did affect me like that but over the time I have been on it, I have not noticed that effect any more - plus I adjust my time of taking it to when I work and when i am going to be going to bed, although to be honest, it really doesn't seem to have the effect on me any more.

Illum - I am not sure what is going on with Hubs - who can say what goes on in mens heads? I think when we change our routine it throws them out and they don't like it. they like when we stay the same - especially as you said yourself - you have a few drinks and are frisky and listening to music etc. I know life changed big time for us when I stopped drinking !! And as far as Hubs was concerned, it certain areas it wasn't for the better. We have been married 29 years next month, so things obviously sorted themselves out, but when things change from the norm, they don't like it - they either have to accept it - we talked about it and I told him that I had had to stop the drinking (cut down/whatever) for me and he supports me in that. Doubt that any of this will help in your situation - all marriages are so different, but just thought I would give you my tuppence worth.

Thanks for letting me know about WTE - although you said that she is having a lot of fun - which doesn't sound good - odd thing for me to type, but I suppose I translate that as drinking fun? Could be totally out of line - I hope so. Hope Houtx is good too.

hugs to you all,

Love, Sun XX

[Girl1973]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Managing

Hey guys! I am still alive but in tons of pain from bruised ribs. It sucks because I was doing good and now I can't work and we all know what idle time means.....I want to take my NAL but can't because I have painkillers and muscle relaxers - not a good combo. My spirits are up at least, I am not beating myself up and have a lot to deal with now with my lawyer, insurance companies, and buying another truck. Hope you are all doing well! Hugs - Michele

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Feeling confused

Of the three of us on this thread on Topamax that post, it sounds like Sunshine has reduced the quantity of her drinking and Illuminae hasn't really changed her quantity. So, I wonder if I can expect that I will ever feel indifferent to drinking even when I get up to 300 mg. I guess only time will tell. Anyone else out there lurking but not posting? Please do share!

I filled my 100 mg prescription today. I think I'll take my first 100 mg pill tomorrow night. I felt sleepy all day today.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

First to Girl - Glad you're okay and hopefully this tragedy ends up in a new bitchin' truck! hWe had a similar theft experience that ended up all for the better.

To Sun and everyone who wonders about men... he was drunk the eve he said that stuff, no more mention. Of course that doesn't mean I won't hear more about it later, but it was just what he is thinking about at the time (yea!). Cause I'll tell you.. I love my husband to pieces but when he gets his mind set on an argument - not to mention one with moral or intellectual grounds - let's just say you'd better pack a lunch! Maybe even with an extra snack!!

And once again complete honesty, although I don't want to go down in history as an alcoholic I sure have had some fun times and met some great friends!

:thanks::h

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh I forgot to say that WTE still seems to be doing fantastic.. very busy time of year for her as a florist so she's in the V-Day Crush right now but overall seems to be doing fine and Sun I totally get your point about her and plan to arrange for a meet and greet very soon.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Girl - I am so sorry - I must have somehow missed your post about your accident 'cos I read this last one and thought "what??" and went back and found it. Poor you - I broke two ribs a few years ago and they are so painful - I feel for you - on the plus side with them being bruised, they should heal pretty quickly. The worst part, as you said, is that you have to replace your truck - that is always a bummer and even with insurance, it always seems to cost.

DYD - the first time I was on Topa and took it properly - ended up on 300 mg, I did quit - for 8 months - it was my own stupidity that led me to start again. It seems that once you start again, you have to take it properly and I haven't really. IF you take it by the book, it really does work. It is a shame that you don't have 50 mg tabs - have you got the titration schedule somewhere? I know a couple of times it has been written down on this thread. Don't be discouraged - now you can see why we were so pleased when someone else came along on the Topa thread - there are so few of us that post here. But yes, I have definitely cut down and that, I know is due to the Topa and I am hoping to eventually get back to quitting again. But that is up to me.

Illum - hi there - sounds like your marriage is definitely full of ups and downs but a good one really! Glad that WTE is okay - she must be really busy right now, which is good. If and when you meet up, please say I said hi and give her a hug from me and ask her to come back 'cos we miss her!

Talk later - have to get ready for our Monday Morning Meeting.

Love, Sun XXX

[Dreams2thrive]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey friends. I have been out sick and it's been 10 days! I went to the doctor last week and he gave me antibiotics and cough syrup which helped a lot.
I need to vent about my doc though. For someone who is supposed to be so smart he sure is ignorant!! I had gone to him to get topa back in 2008. Of course I had to confess of my drinking problem to get it. So when I went in for my bronchitis he asked me about my drinking and proceeded to lecture me. First of all I really didn't feel good. Second, he told me I should try AA. I told him the topa works really well and he said that the only successful way to quit is through AA.
I am irritated that he is only open to what the medical association says or FDA or published in medical journals, or whatever those docs go by, and has no ability to think on his own.
And he had the nerve to say, "it seems to me the simple solution is to decide to never drink again. If you have a drinking problem, stop drinking. My brother in law was an alcoholic and he went to AA, and he quit, but he knows that if he ever takes just one sip...."
Clearly he has absolutely no intelligence of the subject of addiction.
Just made me mad and I am now convinced I need to find a new doctor, to whom I will never mention alcohol.

Sunshine, I am worried about you. You say the topa isn't working for you? However you say you have cut down quite a bit which is good! How are you doing?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OH Dreams - let me at your doctor !!!! What makes his OPINION right? And it is just that - an OPINION. It is like anything - a religion - just because I believe it doesn't mean it is right - just MY opinion!!!! Oh i wish I could talk to him........ Yes Dreams - just quit. If it were that easy, surely in his head, there would be no need for AA or addiction clinics. Yeh, just Quit - Grrrr - LET ME AT HIM.

Ahem, sorry there folks - but that sort of asinine thinking just drives me crazy. Where do doctors get off thinking - oh heck, here I go again - I will stop - I promise,

Dreams - I am fine, don't ever worry about me - really. The Topa is helping me enormously - just not as well as it did the very first time I was on it, but that is my fault. I need to take it by the book. and I have been playing around with the dosage - my own fault - so thanks for the concern, but I really truly am fine.

Now, I have to go to work - closing shift tonight. off tomorrow with Vet appt first thing. Talk later - hugs to all,

love, Sun XXXX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Man I am with you Sun and Dreams. What an idiot doctor!!!!

I was so glad I didn't take my problem to my regular doctor. I went to an open minded addiction specialist and even though he was a bit skeptical showed interest in the TSM book and prescribed me naltrexone. I have since stopped seeing him and just get the stuff on my own, but it was good to have the support in the beginning.

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sunshine - I have 25 mg tablets and it's not problem to take 2 of them to get to 50 but when I see my doctor I plan to ask for 50 mg tablets. I thought my appt. was tomorrow but her assistant called last night and said it was for Wednesday which I can't do so I'm waiting for her to call back to reschedule.

I took the 100 mg tonight and so far I feel fine.

Dreams, I know how you feel about your doctor. When I first asked my family doctor about prescribing Topamax he was unwilling to do it and it made me very angry. I had to find a new doctor that would. And then last week I had an appointment with my gynecologist who I trust who I have been through A LOT with. I felt like sharing with her what I have been going through. She was sympathetic but at the end as she was leaving she stuck her head back in the door and said in what sounded very aggressive to me that I MUST share with my 12 year old son what I was going through. I said that I didn't feel like I need to share it with him now. I really don't feel like it's his business now. He's a child. When's he's older, maybe. It really was her tone. Had she said something like, when your son is older, it will be important for him to know that he may also share addiction issues and and how you have struggled with them, etc., that would have been helpful but her strong "YOU MUST TELL HIM" reallly upset me especially because we have had a very close relationship. I have had a lot of losses and really trusted her and it shocked me how aggressive she came across so I really feel for you, Dreams.

Find someone else that will support you in this.