New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Golly, we get shoved down to the bottom of the page SO quickly!!! Such a pain to have to go to the 2nd page! so, here I am bumping us up! LOL Have just got in from work, enjoying a Guinness and am about to go to bed - it is nearly 1/4 past 11.00 and am meeting some friends for breakfast at 7.30 in the morning but thought I would have a quick check in. Illum - you are at your swanky 'do'. Hope you are having fun - BUT behaving yourself!

Everyone else - check in when you can - I miss hearing from you when you don't. Airam - we haven't heard from you in ages - how are you doing??????

hugs to all,

love, Sun XX

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I have to reply just so we don't drop down too far!

I didn't notice really any difference on 150 mg so I decided to go up to 200 mg a day early today and I didn't notice any negative SE. I have tomorrow off so I thought if I wasn't going to have any it was better to have them when I wasn't at work.

I'm seeing my doctor for my first follow-up on Wednesday. I'll report back to everyone after the appointment.

I hope everyone is enjoying a long weekend.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

FUCK!!!!!

Sorry, I just did it again. Posted a really long and detailed thread and lost it because I tried to switch modes and insert a picture from my dinner last night. DAmn it!! I don't know if I can go through all that again let alone stay up that late. I might try.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Okay so hopefully the picture uploaded properly and that is me and my accessory. ( Oh I'm the newly skinny one in the middle! )

Now I have to give the short version.. Had a really awesome time. I mean so fun. the date asked me a lot of questions about my marriage. He's in a fairly new relationship so we talked about that too. We drank we danced. FUN!!

When it was all said and done I got a tad bit in appropriate at the end but whatever. My date's roommate picked him up right on schedule, the other couple that came with us went home to relieve their babysitter, and because I was sensible girl and had a room at the hotel I went to my room and subsequently cried myself to sleep in my dress.

My point? Things are going so well in every part of my life except for what I realized is my marriage. it's not awful but it's not great. Being in that fabulous hotel room all by myself sucked. a night like that should have been followed by (and even preceded by) great sex!

So tonight I though it might happen, we watched some great shows, were in a good mood, went into the hot tub even... then we were at a crossroads. We both were nearing the end of our drink.I mentioned that we had a bottle of our fave champagne int he fridge. He said he would consider it. Then he said he'd better go to bed or he wouldn't remember the night and it would be a waste. And I still think he may have wanted me to go to bed with him but he doesn't seem to know how to say it or make me feel it!

So he goes off and starts getting ready for bed and then I think about turning the TV back on and watching something else (which is my usual MO) but I don't) and then he comes back out in the living room one last time and tries to see what I'm doing (and at this point I have just started checking in with this site but I tab over and say I'm just checking Facebook) so then he leaves and that's it.

I mean if he wanted to have sex make a fucking move! I'm his WIFE! and my thing is if he doesn't get me to go to bed within 10 minutes of him forget it - he's a snoring zombie. And then a lot of the time I'll just retreat to the spare bedroom to get a real night of sleep.

Wow, so much TMI and I essentially typed this story twice though I left stuff out from last night or else it would be even longer. Thanks for being here guys! You're way cheaper than a therapist :H
:thanks:
:h
Illuminae Attached files [img]/converted_files/1509797=6174-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I'm just going to go to bed in there instead of being glass half empty and maybe there will be some true affection in this morning......

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Illum - why didn't you make the move?? He would have LOVED that!!

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Because I'm ALWAYS the one that makes the move and I'm sick of it.

By the way part of what I said in my original post and didn't get to in my rewrite is that I think I know partially what this is about. I'm doing so well and feeling so good about everything else in my life and he is not. He is at the top of his weight category, been having trouble with his gout, and been stressed at work. Another of the reasons why the time is never "right" if ya know what I mean.

I guess I could be the one to make the move in the bedroom department but I know that there is a LOT more going on here underneath and we just don't talk things out well.



We'll slug through as always.

Still looking forward to a wonderful day today filled with old friends, and the sun is shining on my back as I type.

Illuminae

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Illum, Sun, thanks so much for your kind words and Illum, for taking the time to tell me where the titration schedule is. that's going above and beyond, esp considering the size of this thread. And freaking awesome about reaching your goal weight (1lb doesn't count). Wow, I envision that day for myself all the time. Fit and fabulous, instead of tired and hungover.

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Illum, you look fabulous in the photo! Sorry about the issues with your husband. being single, I have no ideas how to deal with them. I often feel sad about not having a husband. Sometimes the grass is greener, huh? Hang in there!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Illum and DYD - Illum, I am sorry - I suppose from the way that you wrote I hadn't realized that. Sorry - must be hard. You know - you two would probably benefit from going to counseling but I doubt that he would go - right? Just really sounds like communication issues - just talk to Dr. Sun when you need to. LOL. As you said, you will get through it - you always do.

DYD - I felt for you saying about wishing you had a hubs. I have two daughters - one is married (27 years old) and I know she isn't happy. the other is 25 and thinks she will never get married. But I think the youngest is the happier of the two. I think I have the best of both worlds. Hubs works shifts and we hardly see each other. :H We literally pass each other in the night. I am asleep when he gets in - he is asleep when I get up. He has been talking about retiring and first he said in a year - then when he changed it to two years time, I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief! As you said, the grass is always greener.....just enjoy your life now - I had NO plans at all to get married when i met my hubs - I HATED men when I met him. 29 years later - here we are. Just stop looking!!

Bruun - nice to see you posting - sorry if we digress from the Topa thread - we do that a lot. we are a small family here and sort of chat as well as talk re the Topa. Well, you know that as you referred to us as a coffee clutch (or something similar LOL). So, how are things going? Please let us know won';t you - I gather that the Bac didn't work for you and you are trying Topa now? I do hope that it works. when it does, it is really good. but you have to take it properly (as I found out). Please keep on posting - we have to keep our thread on the first page (or at least try to anyway!!).

AIRAM - WHERE ARE YOU ??????

Hugs to all,

Love, Sun XXX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello, yes I know it is mostly all a communication problem with us and there is no way he would ever go to counseling. Had a small breakthrough with him where I got him to go to a non traditional doctor do deal with his recurring health issues and even though he thinks some of it is "quackery" he's going to give the diet suggestions a try since they make sense. I'm excited about this because I think him getting physically healthier is a step toward health in other areas of our lives. In fact, the doc gave him a diet regimen for a lot of raw food and smoothies and stuff and I got excited about that and already prepped his first breakfast tonight so that it will be ready for him in the morning.

We had a very nice afternoon/evening with very old and dear friends from the former singles club where hubs and I actually met. Two other couples that met in the same manner and one single but hopeful guy. Had a nice BBQ and visit. Hadn't seen a couple of them in years and one of the group is a complete family like ours with two kids and all... theirs are just a bit younger than ours but it was nice for the kids to have playmates to run off to their rooms with while the grownups rekindled friendships.

The interesting thing for me and directly related to this site? I had fallen off the topa schedule a bit recently so after missing it for a couple of days and then trying to jump back in where I was at 200mg the SE's KICKED MY BUTT and freaked me out!! So I dropped back down to 50mg on Friday and decided to start back over. besides the fact that I'm almost out and waiting for my next shipment to arrive. Anyway... Here I was entertaining these old friends and I started out drinking iced tea right before they arrived and I was doing a lot of prep cooking (we made fajitas so I was doing a lot of vegetable chopping and making guacamole from scratch and pico de gallo too). about halfway through all of this and after the majority of the guests arrived (start time was 4pm) I got my first glass of wine. I sipped it throughout all the rest of dinner fixing. I finally realized at about 6:30 pm that I was still on that same 1st glass!!! That's the slowest I've drank in a while and I'm back on the lowest dose in a while. Weird!!

Okay, gonna finish the show I was watching and hit the sack. Hubs is in bed already of course and there's work and school tomorrow.

Love you all!!!!

:l

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh and Sun, FYI Houtxs has been posting on facebook frequently about education legislation in Texas. She's very vocal and advocating for some sort of good for schools over there. I know that she quit the Topa because it was messing with her ability to articulate when she was teaching.

Also, WTE posted lovely pictures of her busy time over valentines day and expressed her joy over having a job like that where she gets to bring love and happiness to so many people through flowers even though it's busy and crazy. She and I have still not met though.

Thought you would appreciate the update on our comrades none the less.

:h:h

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Sun,

I haven't started with the topa, I'm still on 25mg of bac, but at higher doses it causes my blood pressure to POP. So I'm taking it PRN at cocktail hour. I am not sure about going on topa, I will let you know when/if I do. I have some sitting here, waiting... Last time I took it TONS of hair fell out and never came back, so I'm hesitant. To say the least. But I did feel it helped me control my cravings.

So, all the better the thread is a community about community and not all about topa, all the better for me right now. I just updated my thread in the meds area which gives my latest, which is AF 4 days.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Stayed up late helping my husband defend his job tonight. He's in a really high place in his company, but to make a long story short, when the shit hits the fan they tend to lean heavily on him and his department. It's such BS because he is the glue that holds the place together but most of the other people don't get that. I was literally typing the email that he is going to send to his CEO in the morning.

He freaked out on me earlier (before his work blew up) about how i stay up this late all the time and my explanation had to do with stuff like here is where I find my friends, how I relax..

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hallo all! SECOND PAGE !!!!! OMG ! Those Bac people really can talk can't they!!! LOL.

Bruun - I don't care why you are here - it is lovely to have people chip in, and if the Bac helps, that is good. sorry the Topa made your hair fall out - it can do that as a SE - it never did that with me, but I have really thick hair which falls out all the time and I never see a difference anyway! Glad the bac is helping - but keep posting here anyway!

Illum- thanks for the update on Houtx and WTE - it is nice to hear how they are getting on - I know that Houtx always had a problem with the Topa and the topa Dopa. I have always put that SE down to my age LOL. I have seriously considered going back top starting again though. I am up to my 4 a night....AGAIN.. I know that doesn't seem a lot to some. but for me this is where I started. Well, some nights it was 5 or 6 and I am not up to that - it is just the four (Guinness), but I am not taking it properly and am thinking about going back down and 'starting over'. Thing is, I wonder if I should start again at 25 mg. I am not sure if starting at 50 mg is good for me. I have loads of 50 mg tabs but no 25 mg. Not sure if my insurance would let me get any more tabs right now - and it would take ages to get in to see my doc so am not quite sure what to do at the moment. i feel like the proverbial broken record. I am definitely NOT the poster child for Topa. I could KICK myself for starting again when I had quit after 8 months AF !!!!! If anyone out there has some 25 mg they would like to switch out for some 50 mg, PM me !!!!!!

Oh - Illum - nice to hear you tell Hubs about this is how you relax and this is where your friends are !!!! I know the feeling although my hubs just laughs when he sees me on the computer and has taken to calling me Mrs Computer !!!

Hugs to all- and WHERE IS AIRAM !!!!!

Love, Sun XXX