New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Bk and everyone else - BK, that to me makes total sense - I know exactly what you mean - you feel that you have to be the strong one - it is fine for anyone else to collapse into a heap but heaven forbid that YOU ever do!! Oh I do totally understand.

Wonder where everyone else is? We are slowly dwindling down again - I know no-one here is actually on Topa except for me and Airam but it was so nice when everyone was posting....oh well, maybe they will pop back in - HI EVERYONE !!! I am off to work.....

Hugs, Sun XX

[new again]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sunshinedaisies;1110977 wrote:
Wonder where everyone else is? We are slowly dwindling down again - I know no-one here is actually on Topa except for me and Airam but it was so nice when everyone was posting....oh well, maybe they will pop back in
I'd like to play, if I could... This looks like a nice thread!

ftr - I'm on low-dose Bac (50 mg and hoping to drop to 40 or even 30) and in the process of getting some Nal to "plug the holes" in my protocol.

A few pages back, Airam said this:
airam;1105227 wrote: I'm titrating down the bac. Withdrawal was similar to AL.

Airam, I wonder if you would like to speak to that? When I was going down on my dose this past week, and I was doing it very slowly and carefully, I felt like I went into some kind of withdrawal, also. It was scary - I was even considering going to Emergency over it... Do you mind telling me what yours was like?

Anyway, nice to meet you all!:hallo:

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Nice to meet you Newagain... join in anytime. Its mostly ladies and they are fabulous.

Hi Sun~ thanks for your two cents and support. I totally bombed last night. I had my procedure done on Thurs. Everything went great. They had me on this pain medication so I didn't drink that day but decided since I didn't take any yesterday that I would have some wine. To much. Especially cause I don't think the pain meds were quite out of my system yet.

I really have to do something with myself. I think it is getting to the point where I am going to have to consider AF. I just don't know if I can do it. I feel fat and flabby. No energy. I'm gonna start bawling so I will come back later.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

BK - feel totally free to bawl here! That is what we are here for. I think I have to go AF too. But first -

New again - so nice to see you here - we are a lovely group - it sort of started with the Topa and we welcome anyone to do with Topa but has sort of ended up with just a bunch of us chatting and sharing - so please feel free to join in. Airam and I are the only ones on Topa I think now. I am not sure when and if Airam will see your post - try PM'ing her - she won't mind - but she has trouble getting on to post but I know that she will respond to your Pm - she is so nice. Please feel free to chat about whatever - we all do!!! LOL


BK - I am going to PM you my cell phone number - please feel free to use it. I started to say that I must go AF too. i wasn't going to post this but think I am. as you may or may not know (I posted it some time ago),. I had Breast cancer - i go for regular check ups, and my appt last Monday my Onc said that my Red Blood cells were out of whack and he wants me to see a hematologist. I know from research that people who drink, can have enlarged RBC. No-one has ever asked me about my drinking there. i don't look the part - don't sound the part. When I quit for 8 months, my RBC were normal so I am pretty sure it is the AL. I don't drink to excess but obviously enough to affect my RBC. It can cause strokes. I talked to my hubs (who drinks more than me) and he said that we both need to stop - he said he will stop with me. Want to join us BK? It is NOT going to be easy for me. last time I quit, I was SO depressed. I am really dreading it. it is going to be so hard, but I have to do it. i told my Onc I would think about the specialist - he is a worry wort and I never agree to anything he says so he wasn't surprised!! Our quit date is next Wednesday - he said first of all Tuesday but I am off Tuesday so don't want to quit Tuesday. Stupid. I am SO worried/nervous/scared/ but have to do it. Have any of you that read this heard about RBC being affected by AL? I keep thinking of posting on the General Discussion Board and asking but don't quite have the guts.

anyway there - it is out now.

Hugs, Sun XXX

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Sun~ .... I am so sorry to hear that.... What kind of treatment are you doing? Yes, I have heard about alcohol affecting your RBC's cause I'm anemic and have read up on how alcohol can even cause anemia. I have had it since I was a kid but I never knew alcohol made it worse until recently.

Going AF is so hard for me. But I really think I need to for a while at least. I will try and join you. But I think I will start today.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Bk - please don't feel sorry - I am totally fine with it - really the only reason I said it was to explain the reasoning behind it. I really am fine with it. i am 4 1/2 years out. i had one boob taken then another 6 months later. I had chemo but stopped it 'cos my body didn't like it (much to my Onc's chagrin) but still lost my hair - bummer - then had 6 weeks rads. I got prosthesis and came home with them - threw one at hubs and told him to start without me (he wasn't amused) - but that is the way that I handled it. I really am fine with the whole thing. I feel good. Re the RBC, my Onc said about the anemia but said that I wasn't anemic, but I hate to go in and see a hematologist and find out that it is all to do with AL. I am sure THEY will ask me about my AL intake. I am not a good liar. Do you think I should post it on the general discussion board? And ask about has anyone had issues with having RBC - darn - can't think of the word I need - fill me in please? RBC something!!!! Darn Topa!!!!

Oh - you have Pm'd me

hugs,

Sun XX

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

bkyogagurl;1108937 wrote: Hi everyone~

I'm sorry I haven't been here... My puppy got really sick after his shots and couldn't walk for almost two weeks. I mean, we had to carry him out to go to the bathroom so I was up at night a lot. I will post more today when I have more time. Thanks for checking on me Sun.

hugs,
BK

So sorry BK, and Sun about Maggie. My AL has been BAD, I"ll be back on the wagon soon, am praying to my own personal angels for the help I can't provide myself somehow. Getting spiritual in my old age...

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bruun - I feel for you. I know what you mean about getting spiritual in old age LOL. want to join BK and I in going AF? Just a thought...... Maybe it would be easier if we all had some company. I am so scared at the thought of it. I know I can do it, but it would be nice to have some hands to hold along the road......

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sun,

I haven't disappeared. I check this board every night.

I'm so sorry to see you struggling so. I support you in going AF. It doesn't seem to really matter if the AL is contributing to your RBC change because I know you've been concerned anyway. This may be the kick in the butt you need to go ahead and try the change.

And I think it's great that your husband will do it with you!

Some years back a boyfriend and I decided to do the same thing and it really helped having another person close to me supporting me. I kept off AL for quite a while after that.

And also try to remember to just worry about one day at a time. I've never been to AA but it seems like a wise thought. We can get overwhelmed when we worry about what "forever" will be like for anything we're struggling with. Just remembering to take things one day at a time helps. And if you absolutely hate being AF, your Guiness will still be there.

Hugs,

DYD

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sunny, if I could, I would be hugging you to let you know how much I love you, and I m sure many of us, that had been on this thread would do the same. I know nothing about RBC and alcohol, but I promise I'll do some searches and let you know.
I myself have had a lot of breast cancer tests done before, because I m at risk; nothing had been found yet. Certainly I know it s scary. You know better.:l

DYD is right, maybe? This is what you needed to happen to have that switch you have wanted to have for such a long time? (IDK if this sounds as kind as as I want it to make it) Just don t pressure yourself too much. Give it a try if you want for a while. And if you want to go AF, maybe it s a good idea to post in the general disscussion forum. They are VERY supportive, you know that. And it s great huuby and bkyoga will join you! And if ever you want to have one of your Guinness (you know youd don t drink that much, don t you?), it is ok, and we all are always here. (((((((HUGS))))))))


DYD, how's TSM going? I havent been able to check the other site. I know it is a looong process. But I hope you are doing well.


NEW, glad to see you here back. I m sorry you are having trouble with Bac. I had some hard SE on Bac from the begining, as many have, but unlike others, they were harder every day instead of going down. I went up very slowly. In two months I only got up to 50 mg. Maybe I was allergic or something.

I don t want to discourage anyone to take Bac beacuse I know it works. There are many living proofs here. It really works. And there are many people with AL problems that need, at least, to try it.


I, of course wanted it to work on me but I will never know because I had to stop becase the terrible SE one me. I know its difficult to tell when a person is also drinking, what is causing the effects.


Anyway, you know from my previous post I decided it was not for me and went down slowly. I haven t had DT form alcohol, but I have had severe withdrawal symptoms form alcohol and they were similar. My symptoms were the super heavy sweating (more than normal in me), cold sweating, horrible shakings, tachycardia, insomina and what I think were allucinations. I have taken AD and other prescription drugs in the past, and because of them have had very vivid dreams, you know, where you are sleeping and then got awake and cant make a difference form which are dreams and which is Reality. But this was different, I was awake, I was seeing things that were not happening! That was very scary! I wish I could explain myself a little better.



As I planned, I also started TSM exactly a week ago. Becuse of that, I m still at 25 topa. And (because of my experience with bac se) I m only taking 25 mg Nal. I m doing very well. SE from Nal were horrible for the first days, but now I m starting to experience the Nal honeymoon . I know this will (saldly) pass, but here I am. Trying. With all of you.




Sorry for my spelling mistakes, Im posting from my phone, sorry for my English, it s not my first language.

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, would love to be AF, can't seem to manage it right now ... working towards it every day. :l

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for asking, Airam.

I keep reminding myself that TSM is a long process. Today I'm wondering if I should push myself to try to reduce my units. I'd like to have it happen naturally but the cravings are still there. I stop myself at 4-4.5 glasses of wine because I had a terrible hangover when I exceeded that. But, now I'm at 3 and feeling like I want another. Willpower is tough especially when it's just me sitting here alone.

What I've been writing on the TSM board is that it's hard to trust in a process that can take 6-12 months to work. How do I know if I'll be part of the 80% that TSM works for or the 20% that it doesn't? Do I just try it for a year and then figure it out? Crazy that it's such a slow process.

What is your first language, Airam? I think your English is fine.

DYD

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Very swift post 'cos I am pooped and off to bed - wish me luck all- tomorrow is it for me! I am so nervous - getting up and having my morning cup of tea out on the step with the dogs with no ciggie!! Then coming home from work, and NO guinness. Oh well - it had to happen.

Hugs, sun X

[8ofCups]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

New Here To Post But Not To Listening

Hi All~
I will confess to lurking for a long while in this post as I decided what do about my own drinking problem. What drew me to this thread was a Google search on drinking on Topamax as opposed to after quitting (which I apparently seem to be incapable of doing). I was so thrilled to learn that there were others - apparently other women like me - who are "functional" drinkers trying to change life-long habits and seeking advice and support. This appears to be a great network of nurturing friends who listen and help one another unconditionally. I can't imagine what what anyone did 50 or 100 years ago without this kind of connection! I hope to get to know you all better if you will allow it but I want to say an especial thank you to Airam for having the courage to reach out and start this thread which exactly mirrored my own questions. What a blessing. I am not an especially religious person but I know a blessing when I see it. Thanks to you all. https://www.mywayout.org/community/im...es/newhere.gif

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Way to go, Sun! I'll be thinking of you as I'm sure we all will. You can DO it! Big hugs.

And welcome, 8ofCups. I also found this to be a very nurturing group when I first got on MWO. I was impressed by the friendliness and caring.

So, are you trying Topamax or something else? Tell us your story (if you want!).

DYD