New here and starting Topa and with a question

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi it's the end of day 27 AF. We had friend over tonight and they brought wine but i had no desire to go backward and drink so I stuck with diet coke.

I am still taking 25mg topa and it seems to be working. Sunshine I am at a really good weight. it wouldn't hurt if I went down 5 pounds but it would be better if I stayed right were I am at weight wise. I am keeping a close eye on it to make sure i don't go down too far.

Good Night everyone see you on day 28

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WONDERFUL Mimi! Things seem to be going really well - I am so proud of you. If it all works at 25mg then stay at that level - it can for some people. have the SE's eased up a lot now? Good for you with sticking with the diet coke last night too - that is hard when others around you are drinking, but once you make up your mind - it is a good thing to do.

Hugs, sun X

[hoping4better]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, I can't remember why I stopped titrating. It might've been my hair loss. Or the stupid factor. My dr. prescribed adderol for my fatigue and senior moments issues, and while it really helps, I'm afraid to take it regularly b/c of my propensity to like substances a little too much. Well, really, it's only chardonnay. Have never been enamored with any other alcohol or pills or anything, but you never know. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with going up to 300 mg, but having 2 Guiness really doesn't sound that bad--unless you want to give it up for good. I know it's a see-saw. Are you on an anti-depressant? The last 3 nights I had only 2 glasses of wine (granted, they were large glasses) and it felt good not to go to bed pretty much passed out. To be able to read before bed and remember what I read the next day.

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey DYD, can you advise - I'm too tired to research this - what were your reactions to NAL? I have had three different reactions, and not sure what's going on but I am afraid to take it for fear of vomiting for hours on end. Congrats on your moderating, that's excellent. I'll have to research your story more later. Good afternoon, all, hope you're all okay or doing better than okay.

Hoping, I've had hair loss from topa and from other stuff, it just keeps falling falling falling. Try omega 3, 3grams a day, I keep forgetting but notice whenever my hair's particularly bad that I've been forgetting the omegas.

Hang in the Sun, you are always a ray of sunshine to others, I hope you see some of that coming back to you. Karma and all, you deserve it.

Illum ... hope you're okay! Hi BK! Congrats Mimi!

Cheers,
B

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Bruun,

My SE haven't been too bad on Nal.

I started on 25 mg for the first two days and then went up to 50 mg. I did have a very bad hangover after overdoing it by just a bit more than my normal. I found that I have to be careful not to drink too much or drink too late or I've had the worst hangovers ever!

What SE are you experiencing?

I've noticed my units creeping up a bit and hope that it's just part of the process. I know to expect it to take around 6 months. Patience, patience, I tell myself.

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Day 30 AF and I am really happy.
Sunshine I am doing well with the 25mg of topa. The SE have lessened and I plan on staying on the 25mg.

Take care everyone

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Mimi - that is awesome - day 30 !!! I am glad that the Se have lessened and that 25 mg seems to be working for you - great to hear!! I am thrilled that things are going well for you.

Bruun - lovely to see you here again - hope that the nal might be able to help you - you try SO hard - hang in, something will click for you :l:l:l

Hoping - what have you ended up deciding to do - are you going back on the Topa? Do come back and let us know won't you. It was great to see you back here.

DYD - how are the units going? Slowly creeping down again? I am trying to get mine to slowly creep down again too! As you said, patience, patience, patience!

Now,, I must get off to work.

Have a wonderful day everyone - hugs to you,

Love, sun XX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey guys, I'm sorry I have been gone so long, dropped a bomb a few weeks ago and then left again. so I'm going to just dive in without looking at the old posts right now and give you my update.

So if you recall my last post I left my husband. Sun, I know you asked about my drinking and though not optimal it is already in a better pattern than it was when I was in that situation. I fully realize now that I was drinking in that marriage to mask my unhappiness. Unfortunately it still ingrained in me some pretty solid drinking habits that I have to think about fixing still.

It is so amazing that once I had some distance and made the break that I have absolutely no desire to go back where I was. I love my kids so much but am so much happier our of that house and I think ultimately I am doing what is best for all of us. They are doing great with the transition by the way.

So as far as my husband goes we both have lawyers and are just going through the details/business of divorce. On the other side of things I am truly and deeply in love with "Zippy" (this is his 'call sign' - he's a Navy pilot and that's just what they do, so I'll use that name here). We met over 4 years ago in an intensive 2 week class in Monterrey and have been friends ever since. It only became more than friends around February, and then that combined with the distance away from home just let it all break free...

I wasn't where I was supposed to be, wasn't doing what makes me happy. Z and I already have a much healthier relationship, I believe including with alcohol. We drink together, but it is not the central thing. We HAVE FUN! We do stuff when we're together, and when we're not we just talk all of the time. We're not even in the same town or coast. I'm West and he is East. We have pledged to spend some time together one way or another wherever at least once a month until he retires from the Navy and can come to SOCAL, assuming everything is still going well between us.

So he just came to visit me last weekend, then, as fate seems to keep intervening in our lives and drawing us together, I had a last minute business trip to the East Coast and we got to spend 4 more amazing days together. We're meeting in Lake Tahoe three weeks from now and then in August I have another business trip where I will fit in a visit to him.

Shoot, I'm on a plane right now and I have to get off the computer so I will continue more later. Just know that I think I did the right thing, I am happy, my kids are okay, and I will try to keep you all more up to date from now on!!

:h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

ILLUM - SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. I can't believe that you finally posted again. I thought we would never see you again!!!! I am pleased for you that things have worked out the way that they have. you never really sounded happy with Hubs at all. Are you children with him or with you or split between the two of you? I remember their ages vaguely and know it must be hard for them whatever is happening but as long as you and hubs can stay on friendly terms that will make it easier. Was hubs surprised? Yes, I did gather from your writings what was going on - I am sorry I never did e-mail you about it but I knew! You sound so much happier these days. I assume work is going well? And that you have the drinking where you want it? illum - please keep us posted won't you - you were one of the founder members here and we like to know what is happening to you.....please read back when you have time too - Airam is doing well, Hoping posted again recently but hasn't come back again yet - I am still in the same old cycle - ROTFL. too much Topa and I get depressed so cut way back, the Guinness goes up, so I start upping the Topa, Guinness goes down, get depressed, you get the picture. OH - I was devastated today - got a letter in the post saying my primary care Doc is no longer there - I am so in shock - he was the one that had put me on the Topa - now I have to hope that my new one is willing to go along with all this!!!! With us being retired military, you will be aware of how it all works - I am so upset - he was wonderful - I am going to call a chap that I know there and talk to him and see if John is still around and if I can at least get to talk to him and say goodbye and THANK YOU. Anyway, please keep in touch won't you? Take care my friend :l

Hugs to you, Love, Sun XX

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I know I am so sorry. I think being gone from EVERYTHING was part of my process to getting to where I am right now.

Yes, I am much happier!

My kids are 10 and 7 and they are doing really well. the older one, my son, is being so understanding and mature. they were very curious and interested and got to meet Z when he was out last week and it went really well. He is such a thoughtful and caring man. He was in a bad situation too and we are just starting over and it is wonderful.

My husband and I agreed on 50/50 custody and that is going fine. And I already feel like a better mom now that I am out of that house. Have been going for walks, reading to the kids more, being more patient, working on our relationship in this new environment...and I think they get that I am a happier person.

Sun, I understand your rollercoaster with the topa/guiness. hang in there! I will take some time and read back on everyone. I did that before I posted the last time and was genuinely touched by several of you all's concern for me and also seeing new people and positive stories. I will try to stay connected again.

I am also in with a new counselor and Z even went with me last Monday since he was still here. that was very cool. She is amazing. She does want to talk about the role of alcohol in my relationships some but we haven't gotten too far into that yet. I am just so confident that I am out of a situation that was driving me to that, masking my lonliness, etc. Now I feel FREE! I still need to get over some of those ingrained patterns, but being on my own again is helping so much with that. I have been off of all meds during all of this too. I think I might go back on Nal just to see what that does but I'm not too worried right now. I did order some more a couple of weeks ago so it may even be waiting for me to pick up.

OH, and yes, work is still fantastic. One of the things that has consistently sustained me through all of this, and frankly one of the things that I think put in bold relief the differences between my husband and I. He was miserable, heavy, unhealthy... and I was thriving in my job, losing weight, finding a new way. Then I just fully realized how much was not right in our home and relationship. Took me getting to a happier place, distance, and perspective with the hope of a new life.

I'm sorry I left you all hanging for so long and like I said I will strive to catch up and keep you all caught up.

All the best,

Illuminae

:h

[hoping4better]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Illuminau, glad to see you are in a good place. I am divorced, too, and know how hard it is at first. (And still is, just b/c my ex's wife hates me for "taking" child support!) Anyway, best of luck to you. Sun, I'm on 100mg of topa and added naltroxene to the equation. Knock on wood, that seems to have done the trick, though I know I'm in the "honeymoon" period of nal (the first week or two) when it supposedly takes away your desire to drink. However, I was on nal for almost a year and I never experienced this before. Last night I literally poured a glass of wine back in the bottle! On the downside, I'm kinda nauseated so that's probably why I'm not drinking much. We'll see. But this is really this first time in years I'm only drinking a glass of wine per day, if that. I'll keep you posted!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hoping - how much nal are you taking daily? Do you take it before you drink? or do you take it each day at a set time? I was just wondering..... I am so pleased that it seems to be helping you though. I have to see my Doc soon and was thinking maybe I should try the Nal/Topa cocktail - it seems to work for others. I was thinking if I could get down to that magic one a day, then up the topa then maybe I could manage to stay there!!!!

hugs, Sun XX

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone!

Illum, great to see you again.

Sun, I know what it's like when you lose a trusted doctor. We had a family doctor that I started with when my son was born and he was the best. I cried when I learned he wasn't going to be practicing medicine again! I'm still looking for someone that I trust as much.

Sun, maybe it's worth trying Nal with our without Topa.

My units are back up but I'm just hanging in there trusting that it's a 6 month process. I'm not drinking more than when I started and do feel more in control but I also haven't yet lost the desire to drink at all.

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone! Thanks Sun, that was nice to hear since I'm failing right now so miserably, to hear that at least it SOUNDS like I try hard. I feel out of control right now. WAY too much AL, earlier and earlier. I used to read at night, not always remember it, but now I pass out so no reading at all. That's NOT the direction I thought I'd be going in by now.

Anyways, DYD, the SEs on NAL: I took 25mg for three days. First day I felt high. Second day I felt nothing. Third day I puked for 8 hours so I was scared to take it again. Hmmmm....

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh gosh - do I really want to even think of trying it......

and bruun - yes, you DO try - at least you keep trying which is the main thing - it would be so easy to give up, but you keep on trying which to me is the most important thing. Hugs to you and hang in there - one day you will hit exactly what is right for you - I just know it!!!

Love, Sun XX