New here and starting Topa and with a question

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good luck with the move Hou, check out my thread anytime for the latest or you can check other threads, since I post anywhere. Or you can always ask....

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - I started posting last night then got side tracked!! So good to see you all here.... I think the Topa is finally kicking in - I have changed my time of taking it and it seems to work - just two Guinness the past two nights, and then a Kahlua and milk. Way better than 6 Guinness. Had awful night sweats though!!! I am listening to the Topa!!

So - gosh, where to begin to answer everyones posts? Good luck with your move Houtx - I hate moving and fortunately haven't had to do it for a long time now!!

Illum - glad things are going so well for you too - so nice about the cake and everything. Happy Belated Birthday! How are you actually doing with the AL though? What are you drinking?

Bruun - how are things going for you Al -wise? Is the mix of your tabs really halping you? have yo cut down? You might have posted and if so, sorry if I didn't see it or have forgotten!! I do hope that you find something that can help you - you Try SO hard!!!!

WTW - how are you doing? How are you feeling? Whay dose are you on of Topa - are you still on the 25 mg? You will still feel like drinking on it at that dose (well I did anyway). it was only when I got hight up that the urges started waning. For some it works really well at low doses - we are all different. Just keep plodding on with it and let us know how you are doing eh?

Midnight - gosh, please feel free to vent any time at all - that is what we are all here for. Never apologize for it. It often helps just to get it off your chest. And yes, it is easy to drink when we get stressed - I have just come out of a stressed time! And am finding it far easier to cut down - and LISTEN to the Topa. What happened when you were on Topa before - how long were you on it and what happened? as you know this isn't my first time either but this time I am going to listen to it, and my body. And as for you not having a "real" problem - a problem is as real as you are close to it. yours is a "real" problem!! All of our problems are real to each of us - even if they are different to others. I hope things start to pick up for you soon :l

Irishfairy - have you upped your dose? How did you feel? How do you feel? Please keep us up to date - it is nice to hear how others for those coming along behind us too....

DYD - So glad that your units are slowly but steadily going down!! Must be a really good feeling.... I am glad that you are still here with us too - it is a motivator for anyone wanting to try Nal..... it can work!!

I must get going - work today the closing shuft and have to do stuff before I leave.

Love and hugs to all,

Sun XX

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sun!

Sounds like you're doing well, kudos for finding a plan that works!

I was doing quite well but not as well this week. A case of raw nerves and getting ready for a week off work, I'm cheating on my AF alot but doing well on my diet otherwise. Not much of a "need" for ice cream when I have wine!

[irishfairy]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all,

Thanks Sun, yes up to 50 now with no side effects. Definite slight reduction in desire to drink but not all gone. Is my birthday this weekend so major test!! Also slight reduction in appetite but no weight loss yet... Got the book now so just reading it. What time do you take the topa now?

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun - I have gone back to the full 50mg of Nal 1/2 hour before drinking, standard TSM, because I was worried about how I was trending back to drinking too much. Especially on the nights when I don't have my kids and am all alone. It's the same drink with me, mostly always just wine. Though I started getting into a habit of having a mixed drink (G&T or Vodka and whatever) when I got home from work and fixing dinner, then the wine. I started getting back up to about a bottle and a half a night.

I'm already noticing the familiar beginning of being on Nal again. Don't fill up my glass as frequently, get more involved in whatever I'm doing and drinking more slowly than before. And the way the Al doesn't seem to make me feel as "good" as when I wasn't on anything. I need to work on the same thing as a lot of us, listen to my body and don't "drink through." I've been doing better at that this last week and Z has noticed. We are in this routine now where we usually talk before he goes to bed (remember he's on the East coast) and then I call him when I go to bed a few hours later. He doesn't care that I wake him up in the middle of the night, we just love staying in touch/connected. Anyhow, I had started getting back to old tricks, staying up too late, drinking more than I had been, falling asleep on the couch, and then I'd call him pretty late. Now that I'm back on the Nal I'm more interested in getting to bed at a certain time (11-1130pm) and focused on my time on the phone with him. And like I've said, he's noticed that I'm clearer headed and don't fall asleep on him either. We talk for about an hour and then say our second goodnight. And we talk about it - except I haven't told him about starting the Nal again. I plan to do that the next time we are together two weeks from now. He knows about it from before during our friendship. I told him all about TSM when I started it the first time.

Crap that just reminded me. I only have 2 pills left in the pack I've been using and I don't remember where I put the rest. That keeps happening with stuff around here since I moved. I put a lot of stuff away kind of randomly just to move in and get it put away and now I have trouble finding stuff.

I saw my counselor today and that went well. She thinks I'm doing fantastic. We've talked about the alcohol some, I do downplay it a bit with her. It's not really what I want to focus on, not why I started going to her. we didn't talk about it at all today.

So I'm not going to have my kids with me again until next Friday. Normally I would have them on Monday and Tuesday, but Ted is having company, an old friend and her daughter who is my son's age. He's keeping them on the days I normally do so that they can all do stuff together. So my focus for the week and what my counselor and I talked about were what my plans were for this time when I'm alone so that I don't get sad & lonely (and i'm sure drink too much was implied). I was ahead of her on that, Z and I talked about that too. So besides staying connected with him I have been trying to make positive plans to keep me productive and busy. Today after my counseling I went to a farmers market, then came home and made a lovely dinner (all the while with Kevin on Skype with me). If you don't know what that is it is where we both have each other up on video on our computers so that we can see each other and "be together" while we do stuff. While I was cooking he was doing stretching and yoga and drinking Perrier. And before that he ran 5 miles and he eats really healthy. He enjoys his wine too but he's been trying to be even better so that we can get into better habits when we're together.

So I need a plan for tomorrow night. Then this weekend I have Navy Reserve duty but I took both afternoons off because my daughter has her big dance recital on Sunday and her rehearsal on Saturday. I also was assigned as "social director" for the reserve unit on Saturday night so we are going to to the San Diego Nighttime Zoo. Sunday I think I'm going to go to this place called cinema under the stars and watch an old Alfred Hitchcock movie. I invited a friend but he's going to be out of town so I'll just go it alone. Other than that, plans to organize my house more, maybe hang up my pictures finally, stuff like that.

Okay, I'm probably boring you all to tears. Bottom line, I think the Nal is working again, gotta listen to it. want to do some other cool stuff like go jogging or for walks. I went for a jog last Friday and it was really great. I felt good! I can't wait for Z and I to be together for real because I think we are going to be really good for each other and do all of the wonderful positive things that we talk about, which includes taking care or ourselves and each other, being healthy because we want to be happy and live good lives.

Anyway, glad the people here are staying active and new people joining in. I care about you all even though I just talked about me tonight. I'm back to checking the threads every day and am glad to know that we are all here for each other no matter what.

Hugs,

Illluminae

[mumtotwo]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh my gosh!!! I can't believe this thread is still going after all this time!!! For those of you who remember me and the new ones I don't know... HELLO!!

I have had a crazy year... lost my Mom to cancer after only 2 weeks time so that was very hard for me.

My best news is that I am now a Mum to 3! It's been a long road... I was hospitalized for 3 months on bed rest due to a placenta previa and percreta. My placenta was growing out of my uterus and into other organs. I am very lucky to have come out of this alive. I lost my entire blood volume in delivery and had to be transfused. I can't begin to explain it all. The best news is that I now have a beautiful baby girl born 6 weeks premature to show for it all. We're both home from the hospital for 2 weeks now and doing well. Of course I am back to drinking wine... hoping to keep it under control!! So far, so good... but I have had my moments of everything... crying, sadness, you name it. I'm scared I'll go back to a bottle a night.

My husband travels during the week so it's going to be a long road for me with a newborn and a 4 and almost 6 year old.

Just wanted to pop in and say hi to you all... haven't had time to read everything but I hope you are all doing well and I will do my best to keep up with you all.

XOXO,

Anne

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WOW!!
Welcome back Anne!!! What a time you must have had. So glad to see you back, just like me, who was away for a while. Read up, there are some things going on.

So glad you checked back and good luck with a beautiful new baby and your other two!!

:h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all!

Irish - I take my Topa depending on my work shift - if I work until 3.30, then I take it when I get home. If I am off, I take it around 3.30 (my days off are the hardest). If I work til 7.30 I take it around 7.00. If I close, I take it around 8.00 - basically I take it about the time or about an hour before I start to drink. Just two again last night! And I am just on the 150 mg too. After the two, I have poured a third, but just do NOT want it and have ended up tipping it it out twice now. Just cannot drink it. I have however, poured (and drank) a kahlua and milk! I think the Topa works in a strange way on anything in aluminium cans - as I drink Guinness, it works on that very well. I don't have any more Kahlua so unless I buy some today, well, we shall see what happens today - I have taken the day off! and hubs is off to and wants us to go out for a drink this afternoon. so, we shall see.....

Illim - I am so pleased that you are listening to the nal and also trying to be more aware of it - I think Z is good for you in that you are trying not to get back into old habits 'cos of him. he sounds like a good guy. Yes, I have skype and it is nice that you two do as well. You have a busy time ahead planned - always a good thing! And great that the counsellor is going well too - it really sounds as if your life is coming together. you sound far less stressed than you used to. So nice to hear :l

Anne !!! well, CONGRATULATIONS on your new little baby girl!! So pleased that both you and she are doing well. Awful that you had to go through so much though... And I am SO sorry about your mum - how hard for you. Especially with the baby as well. What a lot of stress for you all within such a short time. My prayers are with you for your loss. Yes, you are going to have to get into a routine with your children to make it work for you - you will have your hands full - will you be able to have any help - friends that live nearby or anything, while hubs is away? Just try and get some sleep when the baby is sleeping. Cleaning can wait..... you must try and get rest when you can. You have been through a lot. It is so nice to see you back here dear - just check in with us if you need to - PM me if you want to - I am sure that things will settle down for you. Congrats again!

Bruun - how nice to have a week off work - are you just lazing around at home or are you going somewhere? I have taken today off and also another day next week - so a couple of 4 day weeks which is rather nice. Laughed about your ice cream comment !! which is the worse evil though?? LOL

Hugs to all,

Sun XX

[hoping4better]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx, nice to see you again! Been wondering about you. Can't write more, my keyboard's not working.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hoping ! How nice to see you here after so long! How are you doing? are you still on the Nal? I think that is what you were on - or was it a Nal/Topa combo - I can't remember..... how are you doing on what you are on anyway? please come back and let us know? So good to see you here again.....

Hugs, sun XX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - need to bump us up - I am doing fine - hope you are all too - please post!!

hugs and love,

Sun XXX

[Midnight]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I will post quickly to keep us up too! on the iPhone so short! Very busy with work and went to a lake this weekend so have been bad with al. Stress and fun, can find a reason! Will try to post more later! Hope everyone is ok...

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yea! I just found my misplaced NAL. Thank goodness. It would have been a whole lot of money down the drain and a lot of time to get a new order.

My mom is in town. She is watching my brother's kids for a couple of days, but we got to spend some time together on Saturday, and then she is coming to my new Apartment for the first time on Thursday. We are going to spend that evening and Friday together, just us, then I get my kids Friday afternoon. Then Saturday morning she and my daughter are flying back to her house. A week later my son gets put on a plane up to her house and my daughter comes back. A separate week each of quality time with their grandparents. I do this every summer and they really look forward to their time with them and I look forward to time with each of them separately. It's pretty cool.

It has been really good for mom and I to have some quality time together, helping her understand what has happened with me. She is being very understanding and just glad that I am happy. She still worries about me drinking and part of that is because my lovely husband told her a bunch of horrible stuff about that when we were first splitting up. I want to show her that I am not like what he said. He was telling her about me blacking out and all of that kind of thing that I really only did so badly BEFORE the NAL/TOPA. Asshole. it did happen again during that one week I was as home in between all the travel and when he had just found out about my affair and we were trying to figure out if we were getting back together or what. But as usual we were BOTH drinking a lot. I'm sure he left that part out. I am doing so much better, happier, being a better mom...I want her to see that.

Okay, got stuff to do like get organized an make sure my place is all clean and lovely by Thursday.

Take care everyone!

Illuminae :h

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone! Hope all is going okay or better!

Hi Illum, glad to hear things are going well.

Sun, what's going on with you? You're always so caring about us all, but you don't always update on YOU. How are you, caring hearts want to know. :l Yes, great to have the week off, just got back from visiting my parents and brothers/sister. Nice to get a longer than weekend visit, I got home last night and got my period, horrible night full of accidents, can't wait to get older and stop this mess. The pre-meno is as bad as my initial teen years with this cramping and mass blood loss. Sorry for the intimate details, hope I'm not upsetting anyone. I am just unable to do much due to feeling weak and tired but I am able to be a zombie and lie around like a bum, which I feel entitled to do being off work and its my bday today. Yes, I'm 29 again! Also am taking alot of ferritin! I'll be better tomorrow!

Hi Midnight, Hoping, Hou, Mum, Irish, everyone! :h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Bruun - I don't post about me because the more things change the more they stay the same. I am still drinking about the same - never get drunk, never have too much, but STILL drinking. I have to admit it does get me down at times, but it is my own fault. I am not titrating up - it seemed to be working well for a few days. But now it isn't. I thank you for asking after me - I have to laugh - it is so much easier to answer everyone else and ignore my own problems!!! You see through me my friend. I sometimes think I am never going to get out of this loop that I am in. But I don't want to be a downer for everyone else - after all, I am SUNSHINEDAISIES. I Have to be up. Have to be here for everyone. I want to be. Need to be. But sometimes it gets hard. When my own demons keep chasing me. I suppose because I feel my problem isn't that bad, it is easier to ignore and try and be here for others? I know I need to cut back to my two - which I did for a few days. And that was great. But it has all gone to hell in a handbasket again. It gets SO old. I bet you are wishing you hadn't asked now right?? I am sorry - I suppose I just happened upon your post at a time that was ripe for how I feel. I do NOT want to be a downer for anyone else here, or anyone starting Topa. It can work. Bruun - thank you for asking - but you might think twice next time LOL

love and hugs,

sun XXX