New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hallo Midnight and Bruun - I am feeling a complete failure. Will I EVER get off this merry go round? I don't think so. I am back to where I was when I joined this site. I am drinking the same amount. Yes, I had an 8 month period when I was AF but that is long gone. I am SO bummed. I am hopeless. Will it EVER change? Right now I don't think it will. I am so fed up with it. I know, I need to take the Topa the way it is prescribed - that might be the main reason it isn't working. I shouldn't be here offering advice to newbies who come here asking - I am NOT the one to offer advice!!!!!! I can't even follow my own advice. Sorry - as you can tell, I am feeling slightly disgruntled. So, Maybe I should get off.

hugs to all,

Sun XXx

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sunny honey,

Don't be so hard on yourself. Think of all the people who don't even seek support for this addiction. How much are you drinking? Is it still the 2-3/day? If so, it's barely enough to tweak your health, so maybe if you stressed less about it, you'd find you drank less naturally?

Maybe its time to try something besides Topa. Why do you drink? Fizzy feeling and high on an empty stomach? That's tops for me! Does it make you feel better? Are you treating yourself? Maybe we need to break it down and really look at your history before we pound poor Sunny for being such a failure when compared to most people, you're such a success!

:l

Things can get better, they really can. Hope.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

You are making me cry Bruun......

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I hope that's a good cry, Sun. Bumped the gaba thread for ya.

[ImHereNow]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sunshinedaisies;1198448 wrote: Hallo Midnight and Bruun - I am feeling a complete failure. Will I EVER get off this merry go round? I don't think so. I am back to where I was when I joined this site. I am drinking the same amount. Yes, I had an 8 month period when I was AF but that is long gone. I am SO bummed. I am hopeless. Will it EVER change? Right now I don't think it will. I am so fed up with it. I know, I need to take the Topa the way it is prescribed - that might be the main reason it isn't working. I shouldn't be here offering advice to newbies who come here asking - I am NOT the one to offer advice!!!!!! I can't even follow my own advice. Sorry - as you can tell, I am feeling slightly disgruntled. So, Maybe I should get off.

hugs to all,

Sun XXx

Sun - you are one of my many touchstones here! Your journey is our journey, mate. We have good days, and some days its our turn to shovel. The bad days are fewer and further apart. Hang in there. Keep coming back. It makes a difference to us - but it ultimately makes the difference for YOU.:new:
I'm not going to be around much of the weekend. My husbands distant relatives are visiting the states on a "mission". I'm not a God-botherer, but I'm praying they are teetotallers or my resolve is going to be in for a test. I am not going to drink today.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bruun - thank you for being here for me. I am seeing my doc tomorrow funnily enough - for some routine blood work - cholesterol etc that i haven't had done for years, and might ask him about the Gabapentin. I am not sure why I should tell him I want it though!!! I did read through the thread and am not really sure I want another med to take....I don't get down much - yesterday I felt so bloody awful! I know I will bounce back and can always take Rhodiola which works wonders - I think, as you said to me, it might have been the low coming down from the amazing high after coming back from England - it was such an amazing trip - I cannot begin to explain it. After not seeing all my sibs together for 17 years - every picture we have we are ALL grinning ear to ear! It was just so so wonderful. And my mum was just so thrilled to bits too. It was just wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. So that could have been a big part of it. I don't usually let depression get to me like that. I really do thank you for your PM's and your support. It helped a lot. And the crying was good - your post made me feel you cared - you hit the nail on the head with the drinking - fizzy feeling and high on an empty tummy!!! And yes, usually it is the 3 or so a day - but last night I had 6. I laughed at you 'pounding poor Sunny' for being a failure - but I was being such in my eyes!! A friend from here, with whom I was chatting last night and I made a pact to stop next Wednesday but I am going to renege - I need to take the Topa properly - yes, I am still not taking the 2nd dose properly - I did today!! With my shifts, it is hard to just 'put it on the guinness" as if I don't get in from work til 11.00, it is too late to take it. I will just have to be better organized! Thank you my dear friend Bruun - you don't know how much how appreciated you last night!!

Imherenow - your words have touched my heart - it is lovely to hear that I am a touchstone for you. When I get so down - and it REALLY is a rarity, that is so nice to hear and I thank you from the bottom of my little cotton socks!! I do keep coming back! And back....and back!!! LOL Thank you so much for your kind words :l:l I wish you well this weekend with Hubs relatives coming - keep us informed won't you?

And, I DO feel much better today - I never stay down for long. I AM going to beat this - REALLY I am!! One day at a time, but I will get there. I will let you know what I end up saying at the Docs. Just cannot think of what to say to get him to give me the Gaba!! I never have any pain so can't use that as an excuse. any ideas Bruun?

Hugs, Sun XXX

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

So glad to have been able to help, Sun, and so glad you're feeling more like yourself. You have an amazing ability to bob back up to the surface, boyant, you are!

I hadn't heard of Rhodiola, I don't think, thanks - will buy some. Read this on Amazon: While able to enhance physical processes such as metabolism, and boost the immune system, Rhodiola does not neglect the brain and nervous system in its effect, helping with attention deficit and hyperactivity in youngsters, depression and anxiety in most populations, and age-associated impairments in the elderly. Dr. Brown has also used the herb effectively with illnesses like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. The authors make no claim that any of the herbs can arrest progressive neurodegenerative disease, but that the adaptogenic action assists the afflicted person better to cope with symptoms, and function far longer than they would ordinarily have been able.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey everyone - me here and feeling more like me thank goodness. not totally back to normal but getting there. I am so sure that Bruun was right - my trip to England was just so incredibly awesome, I am sure it was the low after the way HIGH that I had been on. Anyway - thank you for being here. I did go to my doc today (appt made a few weeks ago) for general test results - although they had also checked out liver results too and they were all fine - he wanted to "check out Gaba" for the other uses before he gives me any - so I will stick with the rhodiola. If you get it (Rhodiola), any of you, make sure you get some with at least 70% Carvacols - (sp?) the annoying thing is I Googled it to check that spelling and none of the bottles now have that word on them!! The one I get is the new Chapter Rhodiola Force 300. It is subtle and takes a couple of days to work - but it does work. It is safe to take with an AD too. My Doc kept harping on about me going to 'meetings'. I am not a 'meeting' person. I work such odd shifts, really don't care for night driving these days unless I have to, and just don't want to go to meetings - but he said for me to think about it. I want my old doctor back. The new doc says that having face to face interaction is better than computer interaction. I think you are all awesome.:l:l

Love and hugs,

Sun XX

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, I'd go with you if we lived near each other and could support each other. No way I am going to a meeting either, I'm the same way as you.
How much Rhodiola do you take daily? And do you have to take it daily, can't take it as needed like I take the gabapentin? Also, did you ever try gabapentin? Since you're on an ADD, I think you need to take the gaba to create enough stores of seretonin for your uptake med to work. Right? Hope I have that right.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Bruun - I have never taken Gabapentin - or do you mean Gaba the supplement? can you take that to boost the stores for the uptake? I get confused with the Gabapentin and the Gaba supplement. I have PM'd you. Also about the Rhodiola too,

Hugs, Sun XX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh - forgot to say - my new doctor did give me some advice on how to stop drinking. he suggested that I didn't buy it. I thought I would pass on his words of wisdom to all of you, in case you hadn't thought of that. ROTFLMBO !!!!!!

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Truly a man without understanding of addiction. If you don't buy it, you go buy it later. If you don't buy enough, you drink and drive to the store to get more. Addiction is big business in this country, bet you my arse that guy buys stocks in big pharma. After all, that's where he got his education and no one is selling baclofen or topa these days and making money...

PM'd you about the gaba the amino acid vs gabapentin but for anyone interested, gaba is a supplement can be found on wikipedia and any number of websites selling it and you can read reviews on places like Amazon or Vitacost and get an idea of its usefulness. Sorry that I can't post the link here or I lose all my text for some reason. Okay, I can paste it using word and removing all formatting so you don't get the link, but here's a portion of what wikipedia has on it and other stuff including alcohol. Italics are mine.

GABAA receptor ligands
Agonists/Positive allosteric modulators: alcohol,[42][43][44] barbiturates, benzodiazepines, carisoprodol, chloral hydrate, etomidate, glutethimide, L-theanine, kava, methaqualone, muscimol, neuroactive steroids, z-drugs, propofol, scullcap, valerian, volatile/inhaled anaesthetics.
Antagonists/Negative allosteric modulators: bicuculline, cicutoxin, flumazenil, furosemide, gabazine, oenanthotoxin, picrotoxin, Ro15-4513, thujone.
GABAB Receptor Ligands
Agonists: baclofen, GBL, GHB,[45] phenibut.
Antagonists: phaclofen, saclofen.
GABA reuptake inhibitors: deramciclane, hyperforin, tiagabine.
GABA-transaminase inhibitors: gabaculine, phenelzine, valproate, vigabatrin, Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis).[46]
GABA analogues: pregabalin, gabapentin.


More intelligent people on the meds thread can tell you about these things. just start a thread and plenty will chime in.

[Midnight]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I so wish I wasn't always posting from my iPhone because I have so much more to say! But quickly...sorry Sun that you are down. I think about you guys all the time even when I don't post. I need a better method than my iPhone dang it! I have been very down, filled with butterflies in my stomach and not sure if it is from higher dose of topa or just general life circumstances. Sun you mentioned feeling flat at higher doses. I am thinking of trying better at all one, or anything for that matter as I am really not feeling very good. But had to seriously laugh at Sun's doctor suggestion of not buying alcohol! Really? Ok, genius. I will try that and write a best seller. Bruun - how are you doing? And Sun I still think you did amazing while back in the UK and hope you are picking up, and for everyone else I am not naming I will really try to get to my laptop this week!

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Midnight, hope you're doing okay? What the scoop?

I'm struggling but feel somehow this is just my path and we will all get there.

Hang in there!!!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thought I had better bump us up. I am slowly feeling better - I HAVE been taking my 2nd dose of Topa which is good. Midnight - I have my All-One EVERY day and when I missed it 'cos I was out, I noticed the difference within 4 days. Once I got some, I noticed the difference within four days of taking it again. I am really trying to work on these down feelings 'cos I don't like them - LOL, hugs to you all - I am off to work - doing a clopen tonight and tomorrow morning. Thanks for all the support Bruun and Midnight - Bruun you have been awesome!

Love, Sun XX