New here and starting Topa and with a question

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I have been reading through the thread although only started 20 pages ago and I have skipped some.. Part of the topa thing sounds great but I think I would be to scared of the serious se's of it, they sound way worse than on bac. I amworried by the eye thing and hair thinning. I would love the weight loss tho. And obviously the sorting my drinking. But I think I will give bac another go..I would still like to visit your great thread tho

Mimi, hang on in there, whatever happens just dont give up giving up x

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone

Playland - I also have the Wendi hypno tapes, she's great. Excellent news about your granddaughter. I love gardening too, did a lot on Friday but we've been having some early winter the last two days - everyone is unpacking their winter clothes early this year. I understand about the Topa, please just be careful and perhaps titrate up very slowly by small increments and take note of any changes in your eyesight, I really hope it works for you this time.

Space - How did your visit to your mum go? I had to visit my parents today and it usually drove me totally crazy to do that sober, I would literally sit their and wring my wrists but tonight I was relaxed and even got 'the giggles' for a while. I can't really say that I have any side effects other than that it makes me thirsty and my tummy gets upset about once a week. Hair loss is very rare and the eye thing even more rare, you can research this. But if you're happy with Bac, you should give that a fair shot first. It didnt work for me and I found it too expensive and Nal made me very very sick.

Hi Mimy - Really sorry you are feeling frustrated with the Topa. I don't know that much about the effects of Topa yet but I have read up on LOADS of diffent antidepressants, mood stabilisers etc. on askapatient.com and learnt that medications dont affect people in the same way. It started working for me on the first day, I know Sun said it only really worked for her on 300mg, at the moment its giving me lots of energy in the morning and making me tired at night, other people are tired all the time. Sorry, you probably already knew that. Why don't you give us a detailed history of how long you've been taking topa, how much you've been drinking with it, how it makes you feel, side effects, what supplements you're taking if any, anything else you may do on the side like hypno or excercise or anything that may be counter productive everything you can think of and perhaps we can then give some advice on what you can add or change to help. Don't give up as 75mg is still a very low dosage - only a quarter of the way of what the book suggests. Please hang in there and check back in with us soon.

Hugs and strength for everyone.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

My visit with my mum went strangley well. I took a cake I made, cooked the dinner and washed the dishes all with no problem. I am usually in a right state and sit looking at the clock waiting for letting out time. I even went to visit my aunt, the one whose husband was his funeral last week and that was ok I just sat and chatted with her without any effort. All of this is very unusual for me as this usually takes me massive effort. I have upped my gabapentin andknow thats why I had such an easy day. I am not sure whether I am going to give bac another go at going high again, I have said I feel like Ive failed at that twice before but then I do think I didnt really give it a fair go. I am still thinking about my options. I hope to make a decision before it is made for me,(ie. my family intervien again and I am forced to abstain)

Dizzy, I didnt realise you had the opposite kind of weather to us, but then again you are nearer to australia than uk I think? Does it even go cold where you are?

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi again

Thats great news that the visit went well - I know exactly what you mean. Family can be so difficult when you know you're struggling and you're afraid they may intervene. Maybe the Gaba is working for you? Its also similar to Topa in some ways, it could possibly work on its own as well? Do your research but don't be put off with the Topa SE, it affects everyone differently. Have you read the MWO book? There are ways to counteract some side effects with the right vitamin supplements but thats only if you decide that Bac is not for you.

Well Cape Town in SA does gets cold but not like the UK, in midwinter it snows on the mountains nearby but never on the ground. Mostly just cold and wet winters here but 10 degrees average I'd say, so we are a bit spoiled. We still have lots of sunny days in winter and even some mild ones and of course the summers are full on mediterranean type weather, a bit like France.

Bed time for me - its 1AM here, sleep well.

:l

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OH my gosh - so many replies to respond to but no time to do it now. Everyone seems to be doing so well. Makes me feels so inadequate. No, have not gotten L-Glut or TOPA...hope so soon.

So many great posts...too much to comment on here, so will soon. GO Girl, WTE!!!! You seem to be doing really well - I am so impressed you have bought fewer bottles or poured the leftovers down the drain...amazing!

So many other good stories! But I am on here late - hope to catch up again soon!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Last night my 1 can didnt work I drank 2 1/2 and the other 1/2 can is still in the kitchen stuffed down the back of a cupboard but will be getting thrown away later. That in itself is a result tho, me leaving drink and throwing it away, unheard of. I have no desire for vodka When I woke up this morning I felt a bit sick and did not want to drink at all, over the past 30mins the thoughts of drinking have come back, finish the can?? I am not going to. I am determined to try and carry on, if I mess up I have to go back to enforced abstinence with antabuse and I feel like that will just be putting things off again. I have no clue if any of you get what Im talking about... but I hope you do

looking forward to getting to know you all x

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Houtx - pffffft, you wouldn't say that if you saw all the wrappers of all the easter bunnies I've massacred this weekend. They had to pay for all the grapes that was saved. You're not inadequate and we miss you.

Space (can I call you space?) What is Spacebebe anyway? Congrats! The only time I've ever left wine was when I started the Topa, I left half a bottle of wine in the car and I completely forgot about it until the next day. I didn't mean to, my brain just blanked it.

As you're into gardening, you can pour the beer into a saucer and put an overturned plastic planter over it and use it as snail bait - that should keep you from wanting to finish it Urgh, its disgusting the lengths I would go to though. I have drunk off wine more than once because it was the only thing I had in the house and we have laws against buying alcohol on Sundays. I mean, no rational person would rink bad wine, this was organic wine and it would go off after a couple of days and I bought a box and although it wasnt completely rancid it was still noticably off! It made me feel ill but I continued. The one girl at rehab even drank the liquid soup so they took away any toiletries with alcohol in it (!!!)

I think the Gabapentin may be working for you. Or perhaps after your bender you just feel ready again to get on the horse? I've thought of making little video clips of myself when I drink again. In my mind I always picture myself having fun but I often end up sad when I do drink now, not sure why. So I thought I when ever I would get drinkers remorse I would make a little video clip for 'sober me' and keep it in a password protected file on my PC for times when I feel tempted to drink. So when the little voice says, come on, lets have some fun, my rational voice can say YEAH - like last time?

Anyway, I'm babbling.

I hope the rest of yas are going to check back in today or tomorrow after this lovely long weekend. I need to sort out my wardrobe today - I'm in a spring cleaning type of mood.

Oh and by the way - day 14 for me - and woke up with a hell of a headache! Thanks universe for that one!

X0X

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi DizzyBee- Like I said I take 75mg of the topa. I haven't done any of the supplements. It is way too hard to remember to take them on schedule like you are supposed to. Ugh I do workout, I take a low dose of an anti-depressant but that's but it.

As for the SE, tingling in the hands, forgetfulness or mind fog and tiredness all the time.

I am also on a program called the "last chance program" it's an 8 week program that's supposed to help change the brain chemistry that caused you to crave the alcohol and makes you over drink. I am on week 4 and the craving for the alcohol is diminishing but once I start drinking it is still out of control. They say for some it takes the full 8 weeks.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Mimi is that a place you go to to do the program or is it something you do at home? What does it involve?

I take suppliments, I put mine in a bowl of a morning and then just take them through the day. No specific time for any of them except for calcium & vit d and magnesium which I take of a night. I read somewhere they are best taken that way but I dont know if thats true or not.

Dizzy I dont take gabapentin to stop craving or drinking, I take it for depression, which I suppose helps with not drinking. Thoughout the day today the lager has been calling me but not madly, so eventually I took the dogs out, came home and poured one, I didnt even really want it, just cos it was there but I looked at it put is down then had a drink and poured it away! I will make dinner soon and see how I feel later. Really Im just very tired and want to sleep but dont want to go to bed.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OH MY GOSH -I agree with houtx - SO many posts! Which is awesome! I feel bad for not having posted for a while - it feels like ages! Gosh - lovely to have you here Space - I should have been around before - I usually am!! Am working today at 2.00 and have been really lazy this morning - need to go and shower. Will try and do a massive catch up later or tomorrow morning when i am off. Wonderful to see everyone.

Love and hugs, Sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Mimi- please tell me to mind my own business here but I'd like you to consider whether you are really giving this as much as you can. And what are you risking to lose if you dont. How much do you want to gain control? How much are you willing to give? And how much are you giving? Could you look at your last post objectively? Just think about it. Perhaps just add a GOOD multivitamin with lots of vit B to help with a range of possible SE and grapeseed extract for tingling and make sure you eat healthily. You are only at a quarter of the dose and there are so much more that you can do if you really want this to work. And whenever I tell myself that supplements are expensive I look at how much money I'm saving on alccohol every single day and then I compare what is the smarter buy - the wine or the vitamins. I set cell phone reminders 3 times a day to help remind me to take my pills... Please hang in there.

Space - Gabapentin IS used as an anti craving drug Gabapentin reduces alcohol consumption and... [J Clin Psychiatry. 2007] - PubMed - NCBI I heard about it from Sun actually and thought it sounded very similar to Topa in a way. It was also first designed for epilepsy seiszures and then used for mood stabilising bipolar properties and then for cravings. It seems like you're in a really good spot re the drinking. Perhaps you reached the sweet spot on Gaba without realising whats going on? Or perhaps you struck the correct balance between it and the BAC?

Hi Sunny. Ah don't worry, the whole world is taking it slow because of the Easter bunny. Things should return to normal tomorrow, eh?

Lots of love and hugs everyone,
DB

PS: Still have a HUGE headache. Could I still be detoxing? Maybe I ate too many mung bean sprouts

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Kids …..

WOW! Fighting the beast with a FURY this morning – but so far so good m even though I bought a bottle this morning as I need to stop for cigarettes and thought “what the heck, rather than go out again later”. Dumb. It’s only 10:30 AM here.

My last post on Saturday morning turned out to be a great day. Busy enough at the shop to keep the call at bay until my “now goal” of 2 PM and only had one glass when I left at 4:40 PM so arrived with ? of a bottle. A touch nervous about that that – but believe or not, I slowly sipped two glasses and the last one went down the sink before I headed for bed. Yey!

Easter Sunday (yesterday) a touch tougher, but I still held the line for the most part. Called my best buddy and fibbed to him and everyone else that I had Easer plans when in reality I had none and spent most of the day in the garden and puttering. The VERY hard part is my “buddy” (for 20 years and once romance) had asked me just a couple months ago about getting back “together”. UGH. Ever wanna go somewhere and know you just can’t because you KNOW how it will end up again? (Yes Houtx – hot FB guy) WE were together 8 years but he is a financial disaster and it makes me nutso, even if he is the sweetest man on earth. Long story short – we still talk almost 3-5 times a week, and about 3 weeks ago he sent me an email that he met someone. *gulp* And yesterday he told me he was going to her family’s place for and Easter family thing. Where’s the wine??????????? Taking him home to meet the parents – so I guess it is getting serious. Wanna be happy for him – but instead I am feeling sorry for myself and the 1st think I thought about was pouring a glass of wine. Shezzzz But I put it off, not quite as long as my 2 PM goal and then worried about holding to my 4 glasses for the day. Thought about my pizza guy ….

Funny thing was, with the L-Glut in between and keeping busy, there was actually about a half glass left on my desk when I headed to bed! So – still on track for this week. Just not sure WHY this morning is being such a BUGGER!

Dizzy: You have been one busy girl! I find I get SO much more done when not drinking! HA! (now patented. LOL) I DO and have been trying to set my “times” back each week and for the most part it has been working quite well. It used to be Noon as a normal then somewhere along the line it slipped to earlier and excuses of bloody marys or other nonsense. If nothing else was around – it became good old wine! ACK.

I can’t even consider Antibuse right now. I know me. I would do fine for a few days and then panic would set in. I need to do this “slow as ya go”. Seven years ago I had some surgery and in follow-up they gave me some meds and she told me DONOT drink with this or it will make you really sick. Yeah right – that lasted about 12 hours. Couple of sips of wine and I thought I was going to die! I stopped themeds but not the wine – stupid!

Space: Wanted to say hello and glad you have joined us! It’s a pretty supportive group here and don’t beat each other up for our mistakes, but rather celebrate our successes and progress. You sound like you may be headed on a good path with a few slippery slopes – and YES! I KNOW what you mean about stashed that half can! I am the famous “pour it down the drain” girl first thing in the morning because I can’t trust myself when I get a craving that just won’t stop and I know it’s in there!

As for the SEs, for most they seem to be pretty mild. I don’t think most suffer the hair loss, and I have very few with the blurry eye thing. I have a touch of the Topa Dopa but know from the past that it fades – as does the feeling tired if you move up slowly and your body adjusts to it. And like Dizzy suggested – if you may be considering Topa – read the book. I think for me it gave me a bit TOO much “magic hope”, but it DOES contain some great info on what the whole program is about.

Play: Congrats on the baby girl coming home!! How is she doing? You all must be SO thrilled! And 1-2 glasses of wine a day (at least in my book) is normal drinking!

The 1st time I tried Topa it just did not seem to work for me. The second time BANG! But it was my own fault. Three weeks in, 32 single men and women and 2 weeks in the Greek Islands – party time! I think I lost track the first day. Tried again a few months later but I just don’t think my heart and motivation was really into it then. And here I am again. It can be SO subtle, not magic, but with it, and L-Glut and tracking (which is KEY for me) I am certainly headed in a much better direction.

Mimi: How many days have you been back on Topa? Have you tried the L-Glut with it? I think it may be helping me this time round – the powder, not caps. Hang in there and stick with us. Thinking of you … Maybe consider All-One (as Sun recommended to me and I am considering again) It’s once a day powder and all you have to do. I’m on 75 mg too and it’s no magic for sure! LOL Real subtle at this point but I have learned that for me the SEs are less if I go slower – so pace it and perhaps listen for the very slight shifts that are happening. Trust me - I KNOW how frustrating this can be! Hugs!

Houtx!: Get your butt typing! HA! And STOP feeling inadequate! You and I have both been up and down this damn bumpy road for flippin years now. I’m not giving up on you and you better not give on you either! Let’s just blame it on men! LOL Oh man, typing with a crushed widdle heart again … hate this chit! Hate being in love with someone you know you can’t be with. This darn Universe better have a plan for me!

I wish you would try Topa again. I have a boat load I can give you to get started. But I REALLY, REALLY think the tracking helps – at least it does for me. I love watching those numbers drop, even just a bit at a time. Now if I could only do this with smoking! One demon at a time. I can’t do the nicotine gum because of my caps *sigh*.

Sun: As always, great to see you! Tough to stay caught up at time – I know! Hope all is feeling better and you find the time / energy to catch up soon. Seriously considering the All-One again and those damn messy cups. HA! I’m getting bad about remembering to take my supps – let alone my Topa on time!

So off to the garden again … warm and sunny Spring say.

Hugs to all,

WTE

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

The " last chance program" is an herbal program that you can look up online. As for taking vitamins I have to be really careful as I usually end up throwing them up. I do eat a ton of vegetables as they are my favorite foods. My diet is very healthy and I exercise as well. Besides the drinking my lifestyle is healthy.

I will try and incorporate a multi-vitamin in my daily routine and see if that doesn't help.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh, my head hurts!!! Any idea why I have a migraine on day 15 of my sobriety!!

WTE - is that your pup on your avatar pic in the blue shades? Does he like being dressed up?

Space and Mimi - I think I've been too much of a busy body here. The Topa is just working for me and for that I'm really really lucky. Other than that I take supplements and I'm ticking off sober days, mostly because I want to lose weight. (Day 15 and 5 pounds) I'm in no position to give advice because if the Topa wasnt working I may as well have been typing this with a bloody mary next to me.

Sorry guys, I'm grouchy as hell. I had to take 4 days off work as my brother was off and home and my study is in the lounge and it now looks like I'm going to lose another days work due to a migraine. I'm going to write a proper reply as soon as I can see through my eyelids again.

:argh:

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for the info on gabapentin dizzy, I looked it up, I had started taking it for depression so who knows I think I may well be accidentaly getting somewhere. In what way do you think its similar to topa? In the treating AL?

Hope your heads better soon:l

WTE I am all with you on the "slow as you go" idea, I think changes made over a long time are more likely to stick. I have no idea tho how you are managing to open a bottle of wine at 2pm and make it last the rest of the day, but you seem to be doing it, well done.

Mimi, even if you just get the bast multivit you can find (I dont know how to check this, I go by price and advertising) then its only 1 tablet to try and remember to take and I think anything that is good for you has got to help.