New here and starting Topa and with a question

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well maybe I am and maybe I aint!
But then again, in that case would I really be hanging out with the likes of you?
Good luck at work luv. :l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy, thanks so much, I do go to a local centre, it is for peeps with mental health problems, most most of the people who go there have depression and anxiety. It is good and I expecially like the womens group there on a Thursday afternoon. I am more hacked off about the fact that when I felt so good last week I was expecting it to last forever and I guess Im just upset that it hasnt. I will be ok again soon.

I was looking for something that would be good likethe green All One but not cost the massive amount I couldnt find anything comparable but carried on looking for something else and I found this stuff called green food and it contained sprirulina, chlorella and barley grass, anyway after reading through the description of it I thought it sounded good and it was ?15.00 for 90gm. I then looked at buying the three things separately and it would cost ?30 for 600gm, what a bargain, (I have a bit of a compulsive shopping problem, especially with online shopping, Amazon love me).
So I have now got this big tub of disgusting green stuff that I will have to drink because it cost me so much and will probably last about a year. uggg. It tastes foul, it better had be good for me.:H

I should really get ready and go out now, its raining again by the way.

Hope you have a good day :l

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey All …

Sorry I didn’t get to posting yesterday, and while I thought about it numerous times, I am just feeling SOOOOO rundown and unmotivated for some reason. Even to drink wine! HA! I feel like someone slit my wrist and drained out half my blood and with no appetite am a having to really force down food and so not eating proper so that’s not help I am sure. I seem to have “perkier day” followed by a “slug day” and on it goes …

Space, kind of feel like with the ups and downs in energy levels. I can’t figure out if it’s depression or what the heck it is!

Oh Dizzy, you have your hands and heart so full right now. It must be so scary on so many fronts, and yet you are doing it! I am so proud of you for pouring your bought wine into the compost bin! I’ll have to remember that one! Now THAT is strength when you need to be string.

Sending good thoughts for your parents and for you as well.

I hope your BF sees all that is wonderful in your changes and decides to make someof his own (if in fact he does drink heavy). It’s tough being around a heavy drinker when you are not one – I know (looooooooog ago!)

Yep – broken collar bone from skiing. HA! They tell me I was about 5 feet off the ground when I hit. Thankfully did a “tuck” and didn’t land on my face! And yes, I grow totally organic in my garden (when I have my act together!)

As for a tenant? Nawww. I and so friggin picky about my “space” and how my house is kept. There are times that I think they company would be nice, but there are often so many times that it’s nice coming home to chill alone after dealing in the public eye all day and not have to see/talk to anyone. Although … 20 something … Hummmmm HA!

Houtx! Great to hear from you! And yes we can do that – learn the cut and paste thing. But do you work on a laptop or desktop? I’m not as good on a laptop. Get one of your kids to teach you to “cut and paste” a fake test note to email to someone (ME!). That could get ya rolling too!

I cheat. HA! I go back to my last post, read everything and then open Word. Then read post by post and flip back and forth from the posts to word and write as I am re-reading each post.

As far as the L-Glut, I bought mine on Amazon (and have a prime membership) so also put it on “Ship & Save” which give you another 15% on you can make it come however often you want or skip shipments, etc. No sales tax and it comes out to $22.31 for a 16oz can.

And about pouring the wine out – I MUST! HA! If I don’t, that’s how I become an AM drinker again. UGH. No matter how hard I try (for right now) that beast just starts a calling about 930-1000 AM and if there is wine in the house I just say what the heck. I even say to myself now “IF you start this early you will not be able to hold to 3-4 glasses for the day” – even THAT doesn’t work. So I did it again last night. I poured my first glass about 130ish and wasn’t all that jazzed about. Tried to eat and watched some evening TV and poured another glass and sipped at it. And this was KJ – one of my FAV wines! Before I went to bed I poured out close to half a bottle. It’s just what I need to do right now until I get stronger about it all. *sigh*

You really don’t need too much Topa to start with. They suggest starting at 25mg a day. I jumped in at 50 for the first 2.5 weeks and then increased to 75 for the next 10 days and now at 100 for this past week which I plan on staying at for another week or so until I feel more balance again. This lack of appetite and energy is killing me I prefer to take it slower moving up. But it IS working in it’s strange little ways! That and the L-Glut for me seems to be key.

Sun – You are right about all of it. Guess I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed and the recent loss of “buddy” in my life and all the help he gave me over the years. None of it is urgent, except the heat/air thing and I THINK they fixed that yesterday. (fingers crossed!) I suppose part of it that I have just let so much go of recent due to working hard and then of course the wine that in my slightly clearer head I am looking around and going “Good Grief” I need to get back on top of things!

Sis – Waving hello and loved the line of being “the lady from the future …

Mimi! – Good to see you! I wish I had some advice on the sex drive issue. I had a radical hysterectomy 7 years ago and have gone up and down with that issue and seem OK now for the most part with HRT patches. Although no real drive now just because I am not involved with anyone. And like you – AL and sex go hand and hand after all these years. It’s like trying to learn how to ride a bike all over again! Yikes!

And on my final note … I ended up Week at slight LESS than 3 glasses per day when I was actually “allowing myself” up to 4 per day with a month end goal to be averging 3 glasses per day by the final week. So from an average of 63 per week to less than 21 this past week … more baby steps!

And – My YUCK DRINK powder came!

Now what you do is, take 3 TSP of this green power and put it in your blender. Add your juice of choice. Go and pull weeds from your garden and add a healthy dose. Grab a handful of sand or other “grit” from the ground and add in. Add a large dose of green food coloring to get that really bright neon” green color. Blending thoroughly. (per Sun)
Hold nose and gulp!

Just Kidding!!! It’s what I was imagining in my head! HA!
Actually I am QUITE impressed! I put 3 TSP of All-One with fresh orange juice. About ? - 3/4 cup of frozen berries and a half banana and blended well. It came out pink! And it tasted great! Nice and cold because of the frozen berries (although I guess fresh would be healthier). VERY refreshing and tasted like a fruit smooth, not gritty and NO “vitamin” taste at all! GO Sun and thank you!

Must dash …. Hugs to all.

WTE

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE you are doing soooo well with this wine, I agree its a good idea to throw out wine rather than drinking it in the morning, that used to be my favourite time of the day to drink and it still sometimes seems to be the time when I could easily down a large stiff drink, telling myself I would stop after just the one, Ha never happened, so definatley no large stiff drinks and no morning drinking for me either.

Your yucky drink sounds good, I wonder if I put juice and berries in mine would it make it taste better, its had to imagine anything tasting worse to tell you the truth so I will try it.

I dont know how to go back and read posts apart from what is on the page Im on so I cant go answering and talking to peeps how Id like to. In fact I can I think I had just forgotten about it till now.

Dizzy, its good that you have put your foot down about the type of house you want, its good he is a hard worker, its not so good he doesnt see you much cos of it. You do have a lot going on for you and are dealing with it soo well, make sure you look after dizzy, can you have some fun?

Sun I love the way you talk about your garden, I bet its beautiful, I want to go and get another fruit tree to go in mine, I have got one apple that I put in loast year so I will go and see what else they have in the shop, I have only got a small garden so I cant go mad and plant an orchard, although the way I get carried away with things I could easily do it.

Its just gone 10pm here, I will just have a little potter round and then go to bed.

Goodnight, sleeptight, dont let the bed bugs bite xxx

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Happy to touch base back here on the Topamax board.

When will I learn to either format my texts in word or at least my e-mail, as I just spent a long time typing, editing. Lost the whole text, even tho I copied & pasted. Hit back button, tried all the tricks & notta. Arggg.... Now my free time is limited. I had some fun & meaningful convo to share. Maybe another time. Sex topic was on the list. So was self worth. Being hard on ourselves. Fear & it's sources. Taking risks. Learning to nurture our selves. We are beautiful.

Trying to catch up on all the new posts ~ threads. Welcome to all the new people!... Congrats to all those reaching their goals!... Or getting there!... To anyone struggling please don't give up!...

My Mom was released from Hospital this past wknd. Spent the day yesterday at Dr's appt, pharmacy & helping her. She is basically alone & was ill b4 she had a life threatening illness that sent her to the ER. I'm so very grateful that she is home!... I'm sober, am able to help her!...

My endoscopy with biopsies earlier this month all came back normal. I'm relieved! Still something not right. May have gastropresis tho I'm not diabetic. I'm tired of all these Dr's visits ~ tests. Yet, so thankful 4 Ins, when so many don't have any, nor access to health care. I encountered some alcohol cravings from the sedation I was given. I found out the drug causes euphoria later. It awoke the reward center area in my brain.

After a wk of these physical symptoms, the stress waged war on my mind as well. I increased the Topa 25 mg in AM for two days & ended up with a sinus headache from hell, that OTC meds did little to relieve. I never had this SE a few yrs back when on Topa. I do remember reading somewhere this can b an SE. Most of the cravings have passed. But, I do still feel a bit twisted. Tho I know it could be the stress from Mom almost dieing & my body adjusting to no alcohol. Who knows maybe it wasn't even the dosage increase & something else that caused those bad headaches. Maybe I will try taking 75mg all in the PM or try it again the other way. Any suggestions?

I feel for the most part I've been experiencing the same benefits as Ms.DizzyBee. Tho I think both r pre-symptoms were similar. I've mainly been more hyper, lost 6 Lbs. Not very hungry, not great sleep. Tho the last couple days I'm exhausted the same way when I 1st started taking Topa & been a bit down lately.

I wanted to tell the woman who have had breast cancer how very sorry I am for you & your families!.... I hope that you are Survivors of this horrible cancer!..... Along with dealing with hysterectomies!...

I'm glad we have a safe place to come & gain support whether our goals r AF free or reducing our intake. We r all wanting to become healthier & stronger!... We may come from different walks in life, may have different values, interests, different ages, different colors, different sexual orientations, we may live on the other side of the planet from ea other. But, I hope we can lean on ea other for support & care.

Men r welcome too! Any guys out there taking Topamax?

Today is my one month sobriety anniversary. No sipps, no nipps, no sniffs, no slipps. For an alkie like me, this is a big accomplishment! I will celebrate by indulging with my favorite Dove Dark Chocolate. I plan on not eating it, in an addictive fashion. I will only eat half the bag. LMAO

[rubywillow]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey guys. Sunny called me and wanted ya'll to know her internet is down till maybe the weekend, OK. But she's thinking of you, thus my post.
On a different note, since I'm here, Topa worked GREAT for me. No side effects, nothing, but absolutely diminishing cravings to nil. I highly recommend it if you can take it. Best wishes to you all on your quest, your journey towards sobriety.

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I am 47 years young. I started drinking 7 years ago after my husband had an affair.

This is how it all began:
I got home from the hospital after surgery, found out my hubby was having an affair, one week later my teen son let me know he was going to be a father (baby was adopted, I have never seen him in person), my best friend died of cancer, my son got sick and ended up in ICU, my mother took an over dose of drugs, my sister left her husband and kids for a BOY 25 years old, I got pneumonia and was hospitalized, I had to have another surgery, got an infection and was in and out of the hospital for 3 months. All this happened in less than 6 months. My world turned upside down, inside out.

Part of this probably has something to do with not having a sex drive. I love my husband, I have forgiven him but a marriage is never the same after you go through something like that and then to become an alcoholic on top of it has not helped at all.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy - thx for the concerns & all about my challenges w/ the cut & paste deal, etc... LOL I'll continue on and see how it goes. Anyone is welcome to tell me how to cut and paste...my deal is I can't scroll back and comment. Oh well. I am shopping health food stores around my 'hood in Houston for the best deal on L-Glut...it varies from $16 - 35 for 10 oz! Crazy - so shopping online. Then will figure out how much TOPA to order.

All is well - XO

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

So much to reply to !

Mimi - I had a similar situation, Sex every 1/3/5/3/2/5 yrs. OMG

WTE - again, I love your resolve and am totally motivated by what you're doing. Me next! Love your descriptions and details of your life. THX!

Dizzy - your posts are so funny & right on & detailed! I love them.

Wildflowers/Sunny/Mimi/Ruby/Spacey/Wildflowers...everyone else - yes, so wonderful there are so many posts!! I LOVE reading everyone's...but for now nite nite. Love your posts on everything - please keep it up!

XO

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Girls,
Play checking in, I've been trying to catch up on the posts but jumped ahead after #188 so that I could just say "hi" and so far seems like everyone is doing pretty well. I'll finish reading the posts tomorrow night and BTY its so great to have such a lot of discussion and friendship on this site, it keeps me going even though I have not been posting all that often.

Yesterday I ordered a new supply of Topa online so that when I start again in about a month, I won't find myself running out again when I go again to Spain. And thanks for the "well wishes", the baby is home and doing really well. I have just been going with the flow, trying to not beat myself up over the drinking again issue, just trying to focus on starting the Topa again and remembering how it was a miracle last time. I'm trying to wait until the last minute before starting again, I figure the longer inbetween times, the more hopeful that it will work again.

I wish I was good at opening up a 2nd page and addressing every single post, it's too much for me but please know that I do read all the posts and think of each of you and always am wishing you to best and all the luck in the world to beat this thing, which I hope at some point we will all be sharing our stories of how we "finally did it", I am counting on it.

Hang in there everyone, love and hugs,
play

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

The good news is tomorrow I won't be waking up with a headache.:thumbs::thumbs:

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

What the hell happened here? I went to sleep and there’s all these posts! Wow! It feels like its my birthday! Except that’s Sunny’s offline but trust her to let us know and thanks Rubywillow for letting us know. Will you please give us a short summary of your story with Topamax as an inspiration for new people here? I find that even though MWO was originally written on this drug most people on the site prefer other drugs and are a bit weary of Topa but I love it.:h

Sunny - Hope you survive the internetlessness and will be sending you good vibes and love until we hear from you again.

Oh, Spaaace. Do you like veggies and herbs? Can I tempt you to make Amazon a bit more richer? Can you stand Jamie Oliver? I’ve got this great book by him – Jamie at Home and its all about how to grow Veg and Herbs and then how to use that in cooking.

Remember you're the boss, not the doggies. What sort of doggies are they by the way? I finally put up fencing and now my garden no longer has those ugly holes.



When its not raining I start my day with a cup of coffee and half hour pottering in the garden, I can’t tell you how good that is for the soul. And there is something so magical about eating your own veggies. Sweet potato is very easy to grow and it makes hundreds of leaves, that’s a good place to start. What herbs and veg do you like in your food? Remember they're also great for inspiring weight loss, a shared goal of ours.

I really hope your mood improves again soon. LOL about the green drink. You and WTE had me in stitches. I want a vitamin drink that I can sneak into the morning smoothie for the bf as he is anti supplements but I’m not sure I can sneak a green supplement into a smoothie without him detecting it. Although, that is how we met – his utter disgust that I was having a green smoothie for breakfast. We were sharing a flat in London and his intrigue sparked off hours of conversation, so perhaps the memory of that will get him to try the All One after all.

I will (and am) having fun. I must admit I am a bit hyper in the sense of manic right now but I have 32 years of being low to make up for so I’m loving it. And it’s a manageable hyper.

WTE – would you say the green one is better than the normal one? Still not sure I trust Sunny on that front There is just something not quite right about people having Tofu for dinner. (I bought some, its in the freezer and its scares me to death)

Maybe the Topa is wiping you out a bit. I wish we could stick a drip in your arm to keep you well nourished. I had some sushi last night – have some sashimi, that’s some potent calories and nutrients in bite sized pieces. How high are you planning to take this dosage thing because perhaps you should stay on this level until you feel a bit perkier hon. As much as I’d like to lose weight, we can’t have you looking like a skeleton and having no energy. I have this great energy bar – a cup honey, a cup peanut butter, 3 cups oatmeal. You just heat the liquids, flatten it and cut it into bars. Its quite easy to get down and very rich in good sugars, fats and carbs. Otherwise stock up on some health bars? Or if you can stomache it, add some coconut milk into your mucky drink.

And yeah, you should ditch the wine in the garden, not the sink! (Vodka is for the sink, brilliant for clearing blockages, just ask Sassy) All those little bacteria and yeast thingies are perfect for composting. I got some new wormies – and guess what – these ones aint gonna die on me!

Do you have someone in your life that you can bitch to? Preferably not someone who drinks more wine than you do at the moment and whose advice will include a bottle or two? It just seems that you have a lot going on and sometimes being vulnerable and getting it out there helps. Otherwise, that are what we are here for! And you can share the non AL probs with the sake drinking hordes.

And HOORAY! on the AL front. The others are being quite vague about numbers so I think you get the progress of the month award! OK Space is drinking very little but you get the ‘best improvement’ award or whatever they gave to kids that used to be lazy and then got their act together in school You rock!

Houtx I'm going to write you a tutorial. Don't make me fly up there and come kick yer butt, mkay? Glad to see that your drive by posts have multiplied of late. Topa = GOOD IDEA

Sassy – (she said this is her nickname guys, sissy sounds a bit well, weird) where are you???

Wildflowers – Great to hear from you. Although - Oh no, not you too!! OK that’s it, I’ll write a Dizzy’s guide to cutting and pasting so please keep an eye out folks. A month sober – you go girl! :goodjob:I’m only on day 24 now so you are the most senior member then (except for Ruby) Its so great that you can help your mom, I understand how hard it is to care for ailing parents, I’ll pray for you both.

At rehab they warn you to tell doctors not to give you certain sedation – morphine is very close to heroin. But you did it hon! I actually think you can titrate down as your dose may be too high. I know I can’t go any higher than I am right now. Your brain just had a spike from the meds. But you know what I have been headaches for a week now and I’m only on 50mg. I think its delayed withdrawal. Did you have any withdrawal or headaches in the first two weeks? Sorry to say it but I’m hyper during the day but I sleep like a log at night, something that I was never able to do before in my life.

Mimi – So sorry you had to go through all that trauma. I think mother Theresa would’ve picked up drinking in that situation. I’m no shrink but perhaps you and your hubby need to first reconnect and talk and become friends again before sex will feel natural. Sorry if you already are but we often hide stuff by drinking and it may be that you subconsciously still resent him a bit.

Play – Gosh darnit, was there a party last night here and I wasn’t invited? Yay for ordering Topa and I hope this mean you will be gracing us with your presence more often. And order a bucket load this time, will ya? No running out. So glad the baby is doing well and that you are ready for round 2 with the Topa.

Let me go do some work.

Lots of hugs and strength everyone.

XOX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy?s Cut ?em and paste ?em Tutorial

Dizzy’s Cut ‘em and paste ‘em Tutorial

1. Open a Word document and open this thread
2. Go up to your previous post. There is page numbers at the bottom, click on them if you have to go back a few. Start with the post below yours.
3. Select the text you want to copy. Do this by clicking and holding in the left mouse button and selecting all the text below your post. After its highlighted click on your right mouse button and select ‘Copy’ with the left mouse button.
4. Go to the Word document, Type in Post (trust me on this) press enter twice, then press the right mouse button and select ‘paste’ with the left mouse button.
5. If you have a couple of pages to catch up on repeat steps 3 and 4
6. Now you can go back to the word Post and type over it. I just had you put that in as a place mark as the copy from the website will be formatted. You can copy and paste the text unformatted but that’s a bit advanced and we will have to cover that next time. At least now you can scroll up and down the posts and rest assured nothing will get lost.
7. Copy and paste (as above) your post into the Thread.

Feel free to add stuff (if you know better than I do) or to ask questions (if you don’t – ha!).

I have a beginners Word manual that I can email to any of you who are interested.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, go to to run bt I had to tell yo the idea of pottering in the garden every day when its not raining sonds good, I will try it, it cold do the world of good for my depression. I was in the shop this morning before 9 and bought a crab apple tree? I dont know what crab apples are but the blossom on the picture looks lovely, and 3 more other little bushy things that I will put in my pots, havent been able to do it yet because of the rain but Im determined to get them in today.

WTE you definately get the most improved award:yougo:

I am plodding along AL ways, not particularly bothered by it right now, which is fantastic, so I am hoping to continue as I am so that the habit, addiction, mental thought processes whatever its called can change without the obssesion coming back. my main problem now and always has been when Im sober is depression, so thats what I need to focus on.

I had my green drink again this morning with water, I didnt think until I was mixing it about the juice, I just want to get it mixed, down my throat and over with as quick as I can.:yuk: What on earth was thinking!! 600g is not better than 90g, at least if Id bought the ready mixed little one and it was as disgusting I could reasure myself it would soon be gone.

Play, houxt, mimi and wildflowers. I am looking forward to getting to know more about you all.

I hope sun gets the internet connection back again, Im missing you already

:lxx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yay for gardening! Really have a look at that book.

LOL about the yucky drink. Get a stick blender and make a smoothie every morning. Cup of orange juice a banana and the green goo. You can add protein powder and have it instead of breakfast too. Don't drink it with water - yuck! If all else fails you can always add your green mucky powder to your *new compost heap* - wink, nudge.

Will check in later again. You are doing so well! :l