New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

DIZZY - I am so sorry! About you and your b/f. And congrats on the 30 days - gosh bittersweet post...... You know what is right for you - maybe thinking about it and taking some time will help. I have e-mailed you so there isn't much more I can add to that. I just feel for you so much. You must really be in inner turmoil right now.

Mimi - so well done on your 7 days - that is awesome for you :l

Hi to everyone else - I am off to work right now - early shift - am feeling back to normal thank goodness!!

Love and hugs, Sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sunny - no mail this side, or do you mean the chat that turned to a mail last night? Thanks though.
Space - it turns out you just paste the link. So you can ignore the tut and just copy and paste the link.
Everyone, I said a special thank you to you here: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ml#post1304080
What? I'm underplaying the potential break-up, I am allow to bask in my success

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

No Diz - the one I e-mailed yesterday or was it the day before - ....... sorry --- before you decided! But there wasn't much I could add to that.

Off to work now..... love and hugs :l:l

Sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Congratulations on the 30 days Dizzy :cheering: you have done great.xx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh sweet Dizzy ? I am glad you are able to focus on all the positives that are happening in in you break from AL and CONGRATULATION on making your goal!!!!

Hugs to you and proud of you that you are standing up for what Diz needs for her and for her future. That?s not always very easy to do ? and I will be the first to admit to walking into situations, or staying in some when I knew in my heart there were more questions that needed to be answered. It will all come out I the wash just as the Universe has it planned for you ?.

And thanks for the pic information. I think I had purchased the Flickr advanced program at one time. Will research it further. I can post pix here from the web ? just not my own for now. Perhaps a weekend project unless the sun comes back out! HA!

Mimi! Well done on 7 days! HOORAY! I hope to pulling that one off one of these darn days ? I feel like a snail, but I at least I am making progress albeit slowly!

Hey Space! You are sounding pretty upbeat (?) As for the AF day a week ? I tried that B4 here and failed awful. For me, when it happens, it just starts happening. I seem to be one of those people that as soon as I tell myself I can?t do something I want it 10 times more! HA! If I say OK ? you CAN have a bottle of wine ?. I often end up (if I REALLY LISTEN to the Topa) drinking 2 or 3 glasses instead. Weird.

Wildflower ? You are doing grand! And yeppers, AL is a sneaky little SOB! Amazing how we can justify just about anything for a reason to drink. I still have no idea what my ultimate goal is, although I think that is just because it scares the HELL out of me to think about being totally AF forever ? but I DO think that if I ever got some really good traction and a good stint under my belt, I would do my best to not test those waters either. There are big scary sharks in them dressed like fairies and princesses and clowns and wonderful things and the next morning you wake up with fish breath! LOL

And yes ? yesterday WAS the ?big day?. Whoo Hoo THAT is over with!

Houtx Chica ? Always good to see ya! When are we doing your ?lesson??

Hello to everyone else and I hope to slowly be able to catch with everyone!

*******************

So yesterday was the big court date and I didn?t end up sleeping much the night before. I was up at 3 AM going over papers again and while I knew it would all be fine, it was just so frigging stressful! The stress at the shop the previous day was running high and I was feeling guilty about asking two of my employees to be witnesses and I am sure they were asking themselves why they agreed to all of this.

But we all three met up at the shop very early and headed to court and prayed that it would be over quickly and we could get back to work at it was an intense day at the shop. They require you to disclose documents to the other side prior to the trial. I had a boatload! HA!

When my Ex-Employee arrived (alone), you could see her face drop when she saw the two witnesses I had brought. It dropped further when she read statements from five other employees that I gave her copies of. She was alone, and so no attorney as she had claimed she had.

It was a slam dunk and I will be SHOCKED if the ruling does not fall in my favor. It was over pretty fast as she pretty much had nothing to add. I added tons of documentation to refute her claims and both witnesses added statements. We were all back at the shop by 930 AM. SO happy it is over and hopefully it will not be too long before we hear the verdict ? there is no set time frame.

So with that behind me ? life moves on the chaos of upcoming Mother?s day! The last big holiday now until fall.

I?ve been faithful with my Pinky Winky Yucky Mucky Drink every day with exception of yesterday when I forgot it because of court ? when I could have used it the most! Sitting here drinking one now (at almost 7 AM) and it feels like a great start to my mornings now as I am so bad about eating breakfast.

I am holding about the same at just a touch over 3 glasses of wine a day average as I just finished Week 2 of my second ?month?. I?m finding more and more to learn to not pour out of just habit but rather pay attention to ?am I actually really hungry instead?? I have an awful habit of putting food on and then grabbing a glass of wine (or 6) and a cigarette (or many) and forgetting to eat! Now I make sure I eat first, at least something small, walk the dog first and feed him, then pour a glass of wine. I think it was Sun that said taking the L-Glut seems to help with the body cravings but the head still wants it ? I AGREE! It?s habit for me.

Rolling into Week 7 I think I may increase to 50/75 and that would be today. Hoping the tiredness does not surface again, but I have been at 50/50 now for 2 weeks. I did just drop after dinner last night and ended up sleeping on the sofa all night, but I think that was the stress and getting up so early with all the court stuff. When I?m at the shop, the tiredness does not seem to affect me as much and I will do the 75 in the evenings.

Felling more positive about life in general and the sadness seems to have lifted for the most part. I?ve made a commitment to myself to get some medical check-ups after the holiday ? some things I have just put off as I am BAD about seeing DRs. And trying hard to take all these projects a tiny step at a time. The rain is back (which actually we need) but they are predicting a sunny weekend and DO love my sunshine!

Hugs to all my special friends here ..

WTE

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE its great that you got the court case over with and crap that you have to wait for the verdict?! but as you say Im sure you will be ok, I cant believe she even turned up the cheeky bitch. I agree with you about the once you cant have something you want it more thing, I am like that as well, I think its so great the way you are doing things because you are changing your habits and routines as well as your drinking which has to make a massive difference for the long term.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh, aren't we feeling sorry for our selves tonight. Jeez. I 'borrowed' one of my moms tranquilizers to help knock myself out. But don't worry, the stuff is pretty mild. I know I should be dealing with this but I.just.can't.right.now.

It reminds me of the joke my grandma used to tell of the two people who fell into the long drop toilet and who were floating up to their nose in the shi!t and when people from top asked what they could do to help they shouted Anything! Just please don't make any waves!

I think the ball is in his court in terms of whether he is willing to go back to who he was when we met the first and the second time around or whether this is his true colours. If this is who he really is and he is not willing to make any changes - I think my demands are realistic - then its better than my heart breaks now than later. I'm in no way perfect but I think I've actually become a better gf in the last 3 months whereas he just started to take me for granted.

Oh, you guys have enough sh!t of your own and I should stop saying shit when I'm nervous.

Don't worry about the AF day, it was just a suggestion, I myself don't know what my plans are. I may take a week off and then do another AF month. And WTE I tend to agree with you. I don't follow diets for the same reason. If I know I HAVE to eat roast chicken parmesan tonight, it is the last thing I want, even if it is normally something I enjoy. I'm glad your court case was well, its clear to see that she underestimated you big time. Silly girl, I would not have done that and I'm assuming she knew you a bit longer than I do. I mean did she really think that you are just going to come in there with your head bowed and take anything she throws at you? Pffft. Sorry - but amateur.

G'night you lovely ladies.

Wild aka witch lady or any of you, do you know anything about msm powder? Its a holistic supplement. I took some yesterday and today and it gave me the worst headache. Maybe detox? Or rat poison? LOL.

XXX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh, aren't we feeling sorry for our selves tonight. Jeez. I 'borrowed' one of my moms tranquilizers to help knock myself out. But don't worry, the stuff is pretty mild. I know I should be dealing with this but I.just.can't.right.now.

It reminds me of the joke my grandma used to tell of the two people who fell into the long drop toilet and who were floating up to their nose in the shi!t and when people from top asked what they could do to help they shouted Anything! Just please don't make any waves!

I think the ball is in his court in terms of whether he is willing to go back to who he was when we met the first and the second time around or whether this is his true colours. If this is who he really is and he is not willing to make any changes - I think my demands are realistic - then its better than my heart breaks now than later. I'm in no way perfect but I think I've actually become a better gf in the last 3 months whereas he just started to take me for granted.

Oh, you guys have enough sh!t of your own and I should stop saying shit when I'm nervous.

Don't worry about the AF day, it was just a suggestion, I myself don't know what my plans are. I may take a week off and then do another AF month. And, WTE, I tend to agree with you. I don't follow diets for the same reason. If I know I HAVE to eat roast chicken parmesan tonight, it is the last thing I want, even if it is normally something I enjoy. I'm glad your court case was well, its clear to see that she underestimated you big time. Silly girl, I would not have done that and I'm assuming she knew you a bit longer than I do. I mean did she really think that you are just going to come in there with your head bowed and take anything she throws at you? Pffft. Sorry - but amateur.

G'night you lovely ladies.

Wild aka witch lady or any of you, do you know anything about msm powder? Its a holistic supplement. I took some yesterday and today and it gave me the worst headache. Maybe detox? Or rat poison? LOL.

Here is something for those who like kitties: The 25 Most Awkward Cat Sleeping Positions

XXX

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Fricking Frack #%^&*>,,,

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

x

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dinner is in the oven. It is fresh steel head, bread, caesar salad 2nite. I realize that I'm writing 2myself as away of tracking my journey a safe place 2 heal. A place to find my lost self.

I don't expect responses. So please don't feel you need 2 read or respond.

People r so very busy with their own lives & problems. I understand! There aren't many posters on this board & I supposes this is why I keep coming back here. I'm just beginning 2 feel safe enuf 2 share myself. I feel I lost myself in the abyss of alcoholism. I lost my identity as a woman so many yrs ago. Being caretaker of others. I should have remembered I was important too.

She is just beginning to emerge again from beneath this empty, cold, dark place. Like a seed frozen in time that has been awakened. Slowly slowly, being reborn again. She is still so fragile & vulnerable. Her fear once crippled her. May her AF journey continue ODAAT. May it lead her to new dreams, to a place that offers hope, joy, peace, light, love, laughter, fulfillment. She has seen a tiny glimpse of this new life. She remembers from long ago of its existence.

May this tiny seed grow into a blossom, into a Wildflower. With due seasons supplied by Gods great gifts of sun, nutrients, water, wind, and love. May her seeds spread, multiplying & creating vast fields of Wildflowers.

When her mind is troubled & she thinks that a drink will bring her happiness or solve her troubles, let her be reminded that it's all a lie. Her Sobriety must be separated from everything else. Let her come here & find renewed strength from others who've traveled this long road. Let her faith be renewed each hour, each day.

Namaste,

Wildflowers

AF 3/18/12

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

This site sucks. Whys do I have to log in multiple times??!! It says I am logged in...I hit the "Reply" key...I submit reply...rather rapidly, I might add!! Hit "Send"... "You are not logged in" it tells me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK THIS SITE!!!!!!!!!
AND DON'T EVEN START WITH ME ABOUT CUTTING AND PASTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and NO!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT DRUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


uuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yet this shit flies!! What is up with this??!!

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

DizzyI hope you can enjoy your success at reaching 30 days AF.:wave: That is huge. Maybe you could even think about going for 30 more and then when I get to day 30 you can encourage me to do the same??? Just a thought.

You know I love this thread, I love all of you on it and I can't believe how much you have helped me to reach day 7. Thank you

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Recently got in - from the vets. Got in from work and ben - our rescue sheltie that we got a year ago last November was acting oddly - anyway - long story short - my vet (whom I adore), told me to come in after hours, and after working on him for three hours, including an emergency surgery - that I helped with, it was a no go and he had to put him down. The only good thing about the whole thing, that my dear sweet daughter pointed out to me, was that Ben was now with his best friend, my Maggie, whom I lost in November. She taught him how to play, how to be a dog - he had been SO badly abused that he had no idea how to play or how to be a dog and be happy, and she made his life happy for the time that she was with him. I am happy that he was with us for the short time that he was with us. I know that I used to call him Eeyore 'cos he used to remind me of him - tail dragging behind and such sad eyes, but hopefully he is happy now. Once again, I feel gutted at losing a member of my family.

Hugs to all,

Sun XX