New here and starting Topa and with a question

[Hippiegirl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

If anyone wants my plan, let me know. If you want to do ab and campral, that's my plan. I have gotten so much support from the people here, I'd like to start giving back. Might be a touch early, but give me a little time:-)

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WELCOME Hippiegirl! Yes please - let us know your plan - we are such a supportive group here and it is a wonderful place to come and just be !! Let us know how you are and how you are feeling. if you want to, let us know your story so far!! You sound so positive - it is awesome!! I am so excited for you!!

hugs, Sun XX

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just a quick one as I have work to do! Arrghh … tis the season for MOM! HA!

First – Welcome Hippie! This is a great thread and great group but this is also lots of information all over this site. Your enthusiasm is very sounds very contagious! Yea!

Sun – Katie is a DOLL!!!!!!!!! Yep – the Universe works is magic when it needs to for sure! She was meant to be with you and you for her – right at that very moment. She was BORN for you!

Sun and Space – I AGREE on the housework … I can find ANYTHING better to do than housework!

Diz – Thinking bout cha and hoping you are able to have some good chats with the BF. And BTW, you have now gotten me addicted to your gardening thread! Damn you! Ja! (and loved your “mood” WTF HA!)

Gotta dash but had to pass on my good news that I FINALLY got the papers on my court case and the crazy ex-employee – and WON! I was pretty certain but I felt good to have those in my hand this morning.

Still rolling along and today is the end of Week 7 for me. I am on Day 5 at 50/75. Today was a breeze with a busy work day and it was 3 PM quickly before I had thought (too) much about wine .. so improving. Still getting the tiredness a touch since I increased again but not too bad. AND, went out with two GFs last night for sushi and still managed to hold the line at 2 drinks while out – and passed that wine store on the way home without a thought. Baby steps.

Hugs to all and back to paperwork for me!

WTE aka WTF


PS: I am not correcting all my typos cuz I'm going to bed!

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi guys

I'm going to try and be short as I've got a lot of work and frankly, I'm going to have to spend a bit less time on this site. Its a good place to be but I also have to hang out in the real world.

So my mom's mood is worse and to be honest so is mine. I hope the Topa isn't flaking on me. My mom's pdoc is on maternity leave so I emailed the one who is standing in for her (my mom's pdoc's husband, their poor children!) Anyway, he is a professor and has written a book and I have met him before and we had a quick discussion on Topamax.

He said that I am very lucky as although Topamax is a great epilepsy and migraine drug it only only helps 1 in 50 people with depression. He is however willing to take the chance that my mom may be the 2 in a 100 because of our close genetic link. Please keep your fingers crossed as my poor mom is 65 and on lots of meds and very down also it would kill me if the Topa bombs on her. I begged him to only try a low dose for a short time. I think if she is like me we will see progress with 50mg within two months, otherwise I would rather stick with what she's on. But I have to let him 'lead' from here on out.

Bf is traveling again on business and has troubles with his emails so we are still not really talking. Besides, I'm sure you know how difficult it is to talk after a fight. There are so many bloody landmines to avoid that you can only talk about the weather and what you had for breakfast if you want to sidestep all the issues. Well at least we are talking and we are not fighting.

Have a quick look at this. Wouldn't life be great if it was so simple?
Groupon Goods ACU: Save 50% in Shopping

So just a quick shout out to everyone.

Sunny, you are right, I need time for myself. And yes 30 days to me. My down mood may be from the AL. I find the Topa makes me a little bit hyper and although I fall asleep fine, once I wake up, I'm up. So the Al made me wake up very early so now I'm sleep deprived. But last night I slept 10 hours so I think I may be climbing back!

Polka, I know this is nothing to joke about but I sometimes wonder why I'm not the person to blame for my last housekeepers death. I'm a very shall we say relaxed housekeeper. There are better things to do!

For example, this is a pic of our ugly dog lucky. Look at the state of the grass. I know thats outside the house but the inside is just as relaxed. But you know what, I love it this way and I do doll it up for visitors. Most of my friends are high flying early 30-somethings or just married with baby types so they actually love coming here to relax.



Space, I really hope your doc can help you with the Gabapentin and perhaps someday more people on this thread will try it as I still think it is perhaps a more modern version of Topa with less SE. Well, thats just my opinion.

Welcome HippieG Sorry I didnt check in on you yesterday. I passed out at 9PM as I was just in an awful panic attack kind of mood and in no way able to dish out advice. Anyway, you had enough advice. Now just get out there and follow your plan sweetheart. :l

WTE: You are doing great. Keep showing those bastards whose their momma! BTW, WTF happened to that little Houston friend of yours?

Wildflowers, where are you? and hello Play and everyone else to come too.

Cheery bye everyone. I typed very fast and didnt check for typos, so please excuse. If WTF can get away with it... Ha!

XOX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I also need to spend less time on here and get some real life stuff going on, but I will still need to come here every day, just not all day! I wish I knew what to say that could help you Dizzy, but im sorry I just dont, are you eating well? I think Im fortunate because I have to cook everyday for my lads, otherwise when I am bad I dont think I would bother just for me and its so important. Try to take things easy on yourself for the next few days. Maybe go for a walk somewhere nice and connect with nature

The strangest thing, I started taking the gabapentin yesterday as soon as I got home I took one and no effect on my breathing, maybe its a dose related thing, I was taking 100mg x 4 a day and now have got 300mg x 3 a day so its over double what I was taking myself, but thats a strange thing about sometimes a higher dose can give less se's.

Love to everyone

xx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Damn, I feel so panicky today. And when I get panicky I panic, as I once had a 'panic episode' which got really hairy and ended up with me in bed for a week. I even heard a demonic voice, and yes that was the only time and the doc said she thinks its because I couldn't eat or sleep for 5 days straight so it was just exhaustion.

I'm trying to work and drink chamomile tea, and had a nice warm bath, did everything, even had some dark chocolate and tried to nap but this panic monster is eating away at me.

My dad tried to manipulate me into going over by saying if I don't take him to the shops (my mom won't get out of bed) he will drive himself. He isn't allowed to drive because of epilepsy but obviously he can drive. I stood firm though as I can't even trust myself to drive right now. Argh.

:durn:

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey all -
I'm still here just not much to add. Trying to get a summer school job lined up as $$ is tight. Due to budget cuts, so are those positions. Very frustrating. I took a day off today to get some things done after hosting a little dinner party for a gf last night. 'Twas fun entertaining...

Good to read the posts. DZ, hope the panic attack passes you by. Those sound scary! I'm taking L-glut twice a day but of course, without having TOPA to go with, it's not going to be a magic elixer. I do think it helps with mental clarity though - truly feeling a bit sharper! :-)

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy I too have had panic attacks, it is horrible, I dont have any advice really as I cant control mine, have you had anything to eat today, you need food in your belly so your body has got something to do with itself. Also another thing I try to do is burn off the adrenaline, jump up and down, swing your arms about, go for a run anything like that I was told that when I am having a panic attack my body is pumping adrenaline out so we need to get rid of it. Please let us know later how you are.

Houtx, Im sorry I could read back but am too lazy but have you taken topa before and stopped? Well done on the dinner party.

I am feeling better today than I have in weeks, the gabapentin is kicking in and its working, its a bit odd tho, I also take bac at a low dose and forgot to take it this morning, then I took it a bit later. I have had a couple of thoughts about drink today, not cravings but thoughts and when I was out shopping just before I felt like I wanted a drink, so I bough my lager, came home from shopping and wanted one, NO thats bad behaviour, I had my tea and now I dont want one at all I have just made a cup of tea instead.
But today I have been able to function, I have cleaned out some cupboards in my kitchen, I feel like I was busy for hours but it doesnt look any different!

Hang on in there everyone xxx

[Rainyday]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Quick post for Space... I left a message already for Sizzy. Google gluten intolerance and anxiety or panic attacks. Do the gluten test! I also think gluten affects us alkies! I've been controlling my gluten (wheat/rye/barley) for over a month now. So has my co-worker and she's really noticed a clearning in her thinking. It's helped my psoriasis.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi rainy - love the avatar!! Made me smile! WHAT is the gluten test? is it a quick test or is it something that takes days without bread? Hey Diz - sorry you are feeling panicky - try doing some alternate nostril breathing. Really good for calming one down. Do about 8-10 mins of it if you can....... PLEASE at least give it a try?

Hi Space - yes, I can't spend as much time as I would like here. I spend too much time on the computer as it is - the other day Hubs said "Are you STILL on the computer" then another time, "are you back on the computer?" and I said something about not commenting about how much time he spends watching movies! (I never watch movies - am too much of a fidget and only watch TV when I iron). and he backed off. I have just taken some L-Glut 'cos with all going on in my life the past week or two, my drinking has escalated and I need to stop it - get back to my plan and get my life in order again so am going to get back on my supps. as I was driving home and looking forward to my Guinness, a little voice suggested that I start my supps anyway! I thought that a very good idea!! So will sort them out tonight and start taking them and see if they help cut me down a bit. if not cut me out!! I had a very rude customer first thing this morning which really started my day off well - NOT. She told another employee that I had been rude and she didn't like my attitude to her or the way I spoke to her - which really cracked me up as all I had actually said was a price - and then she told the other employee that she wanted to speak to the manager - which if course.......WAS ME !!!!!!! LOL It hurt me as I hadn't even known she was ticked - and was just being myself - no attitude, no nothing - she was just spoiling for a fight - another employee said she had been rude to him too. Horrid way to start the day. But one thing made me laugh - had a cutstomer call and ask me for the store's phone number. I said - Ummm - the number is the number you just called...... but she insister I give it to her and had to wait while she got a pen - and then wrote it down - again, I told her it was the number she had just called - didn't matter! she carefully wrote it down anyway! It takes ALL sorts!!!

Hi Houtx - does the L-Glut help at all? I was taking it three times a day to begin with, plus Kudzu and will need to look up the other stuff - am going to start taking all my supps as I said. That is on my list of things to do tonight along with my ironing! I must do something!!

Love and hugs to everyone else - chin up Diz - please try the alternate nostrul breathing - it is really good!

Love, Sun XX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Greetings Everyone, I'm happy to report that my Topa came in the mail today, really amazing that it only took two weeks this time, I'm really pleased with River overall. So, I took 25mg tonight and will do that for the first week and then add another 25 mg and see how it goes and keep you updated. Everyone seems to be doing well and I'm happy trying to keep up with the posts.

And Space, I have rarely read any of the other threads because I don't really have the time to get involved with keeping up with other posts, and I know I would get interested and try to keep up with them. I've posted a couple of times on Dizz's gardening thread and it is a nice relaxing place. But I want to tell you that I recently started reading your thread where you have been documenting your experience of trying to find your way to alcohol freedom. I really admire your determination in steadfastly continuing to try and try again, old and new ways to succeed in your quest. I totally get what you mean about there being more to it than just not drinking. I want you to know that you are giving me so much encouragement and probably many other people as well who you don't even know, thank you so much for sharing all of your innermost fears, thoughts, feelings and hopes with us, it helps us as well as you. I may not post on the thread as mostly I feel I don't really have any advice to offer to you, I feel it is really for me more just the experience of hearing your thoughts, you are quite amazing.

hugs and love, play

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thank you play I appreciate that, it means a lot to me that anyone is interested in reading it.

Glad you got your topa and have started it, I hope everything goes well for you this time. I have been reading back through your old posts on this thread to get to know you a bit better and from what I can make out you stopped taking it when you went away for the emergency without it, have I got that right. So it worked for you last time and it will work again

My sons friend has moved in round the corner so he has walked to school with him, I didnt have to drive him which is good for my son because it gives him an extra hour out of the house walking round of a morning, good excercise.

xx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi guys

Just a quick buzzzzzzzzzzz in and out today. I don't want to hang out on this site the whole day and I don't want to think about this panic thing because whenever I do, it gets worse and whenever I distract myself it gets better. So I'm just going to get started with work now and pray for the best.

Big shout out to my girl Hippie for the chat last night. You rock, fool! I hope your plan is going along well, please keep us posted.

Welcome Rainyday stick with the Topa Dopa. Personally AL made a much bigger fool out of me. I will check out the gluten thing but I have checked out all my intolerance and know the only thing I should eat little of is rice. I've also read that if you sprout other grains before you cook it, it becomes more easily digestible,

Love to everyone, I will check in again tonight.

To infinity and beyond!

:h:h:h

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Your sounding more like yourself again dizzy I was getting worried about you there for a while

:l

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks Space, you wannabe-penguin shaker.

I wanted to drop in at the Nal thread but I think I spread myself too thin for a while and will rather stick to a few threads where I can get to know everyone better than just pop in and out and seem uncaring.

Oh, the panic monster is here but I'm trying positive thinking mixed with a little bit of denial. :l Will let you know if that works. :h