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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Hi guys

    Still not talking to bf. Working hard on my huge nursing policy translation project. Getting in an hour’s worth of excercise per day when its not raining by walking the dog and gardening.

    And I have a lovely market on Saturday for which I must still make 20 hemp drawstring sprouting bags... and I suck at sewing... LOL. My mom was going to help me but she is so depressed from the bipolar that she is hardly getting out of bed. Anyway, she is seeing the psychiatrist today so he can try to put her on Topamax, which is working wonders for my depression, so please keep your fingers crossed.

    Other than that I saw Dark Shadows last night. A must see for any of you who love Tim Burton/ Johnny Depp/ Helena Bonham Carter Movies. A bit like Sleepy Hollow meets the Adams Family with lots of cookiness and loads of LOLs.

    Have you guys noticed that its a bit easier to deal with problems when you are AF or modding? You have to of course first step back and look at what’s behind the problem.

    Of course the newly sober have double the problems – the problem, and the baggage of the problem because it was never dealt with before.

    When I was drinking I went along with so much crap because I simply did not have the energy to fight it. As long as I could get my work done, have the house in reasonable order and got to the wine at the end of the day, that’s me happy.

    Now, I stand up for what I believe in and its incredibly empowering. I don’t mean this in a: now I’m a controlling person way. I just mean I now stand up for what I believe for. And LOL, I no longer fight like a drunk person... You know, I’d get all drunk and emotional and tearful and then ramble on at people and feel SO not in control of the situation.

    Wild – Good on you for taking the wallet in. People are so distrustful today. Damn, now I also want a Frappucinno but we don’t have Starbies here.

    Space – Your trip away sounds really nice. Sorry about the tins though... Perhaps you can sit down and make a plan when you come back from your trip? Also, if your son is older and your back is really giving you grief, perhaps he can walk to school every morning or alternate?

    Sunny – I didn’t know about the attachment thingie. Perhaps you should write a tutorial for the others now, I bet that your way is much easier than photobucket. Sorry the Topa isn’t working so well for you and you’re on max dose too. Well, I suppose you could go higher but that is quite hectic. Here we get large glass beer bottles that take 750ml or 1l of beer, so I sometimes buy that when I’m modding. People also buy ‘loosies’ over here, I know you can buy them at Cafe’s.

    WTE – You tell Houtx... Its cruel what people do to dogs. I laughed at how you described he was, never being in a house or being loose in a car, these are just all things we take for granted.

    Mimi
    – I was hoping you’d stick with Topa but yes, we must all figure out our own plan. Well done of going AF on your own though! That takes courage and conviction. It’s so exciting with all the grandbabies. My heart goes out to you about your grandchild having been like was your grand daughter and now having to stand back, that must be difficult.

    And Houtx
    , you are a “terrible, horrible, very bad person...” Get over it! :nutso: (Did the reverse psychology work yet?)

    Play
    , I also noticed that no one here mentions the carbonated drinks thing and it doesn’t affect me but if you read other topa boards like the one I read on weight loss almost EVERYONE complains about it. Perhaps it has to do with AL, I don’t know. People only have to share what they like about their meds but as this is a meds thread I think it is appropriate to at least ask.

    It’s a bit of a weird thought but there are also other people out there following our progress wondering what we are taking and whether they should ask their doctors for it.

    :h:h:h

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Play Im glad youve got common sense, I never thought about that with L glut and it being in food! Ive only got enough left for today and tomorrow and I will have to get more but with going away dont have the money until next week to even order it, I get it online so Im going to find out how good it was working by stupidly letting myself run out I hope you enjoy the visit to your mum, does she live far away?

      My son is now going to school with his friend again who has moved to a house around the corner, he used to live in that street but moved out last year to be in a posher area I dont know what has happened to make them move back, but at least it means my son is now walking to school and having an extra hour out of the house a day, hes got a day trip with the school to the university so hes gone off all happy and looking forward to it this morning. We are very lucky because my local school is good.

      Im sorry that this whole bf thing is dragging on for you dizzy, you will sort it all out tho. Its great when you can stand up for yourself because your not drinking. I used feel so guilty about drinking that I deserved to be treated badly and would take shit from anyone especially my family. Its great for you that the topa has sorted your depression, and also sounds like its giving you energy but reading around I think that you are in the minority there but I will keep the thought of it on the back burner. I dont think I can mix it with gabapentin so I wouldnt be able to try it now anyway.
      Im keeping my fingers crossed that it works for your mum, if theres a genetic reason why it works for some and not others then your mum is in with a good chance.
      I watched Toy Story 3 yesterday with my eldest son and enjoyed it, it is a good film and I was nearly crying at the end

      WTE you have been doing so well, so much better than me at the moment, I am not keeping to drinking what I intend either. Do you write it down and keep a record of what you have drank, it sounds like you do, you seem very organised about it.

      Houxt when I started on this thread I thought you were AF, did I just think that or where you? Its crap about last night but thats why your on here, because wanting to not drink much doesnt often work out that way once weve started, so many times I would go and buy say a half bottle of vodka determined that it would last the day I had worked out that on that much I was not visably drunk and so could get away with it without my family knowing about it, but then the next thing I knew I was off to the shop for another one and that was it, I was drunk. I stopped going out drinking years ago because I was so out of control, at best I would make a show of myself, or I couldnt get myself home, and I would put myself in danger, so all my drinking has been at home for a long time now.

      Sun how did it go yesterday with your 2 cans? thats what Ive got left again so I need to be determined to make that do me today

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Don't feel too swift this morning = nothing to do with drinking, but Space - Hubs came home with a four pack for me and I ended up drinking a total of three so I was pleased seeing as it was my day off so I consider it well done. night sweats showed me I did well!! LOL

        Am feeling bummed 'cos of some other stuff going on - I am way too trusting of people and believe the best of everyone. All the stuff that went on here in the other thread is sort of still going on and I have trusted when I shouldn't have. Enough said. Just makes me sad.

        I will try and explain the paperclip thing later - a friend came and stayed (from this site) ages ago and showed me how to do it but I couldn't get it to work and now I can. The paperclip thing is along the top of where I am writing this Play - where the fonts and size words are - there is a large letter A then a smiley then a little down arrow then the paperclip thing, but I will exlain when I have more time. getting ready for work now.

        Much love and hugs to everyone here,

        sun XX
        How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Oh Sunny, I hate it when people upset you, because you have such a good and open heart. I'll kick their asses, you hear?
          No, I won't, because I'm nice and I hate fights on here.
          But here is some big hugs from me. :l :l :l :l :l

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            To topa or not topa that is the question......I seem to drink with it or without but maybe I wasn't taking enough......

            I am tired of being an alcoholic. I am tired of the fight that I have within myself and losing.

            I don't know if therapy would help or not any thoughts on this subject?
            :hitme:
            Day 1:4/4/2014

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Just a quick post. I don't have internet at home, so weekends, I am not online. I've been at a conference at work for three days, so I haven't been on either!

              Had a big fight with husband last night. Need to catch you all up. Just want to let you know I'm ok. I hope you all are too. I'll try to catch up soon.
              I will be sober so I can be clear and remember being a mommy and so I can be in the best place God wants to place me. I will be here! now! FREE! 12.5mg Topamax AM&PM, Ativan until safe from withdrawal syndrome & for anxiety. Thank God I Am Done!

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                I worked up til now so this is just a quick hello. Hey Rainydays, sorry to hear about your husband, I hope you are OK. Check in soon, OK? :l

                Mimi, I'm going to give you my honest opinion. Keeping in mind I love Topamax, I only know what you have told me about yourself, that my memory is poor and I may have some of my facts skew as I follow quite a few people on here, and that you are welcome to tell me I'm wrong, here it goes.

                I think that when I first you you weren't taking enough of the Topa and you were afraid to bump up because of the SE and you weren't really sure you wanted to go AF.

                Then we talked a bit and I think you bumped up your dose to 100mg and added some supplements and all of a sudden you were raring to go alcohol free. There seemed to be this new enthusiasm in you.

                You did a week or so AF and then went on a holiday, which is really trying for the newly sober and ended up drinking on Topamax. I think you thought Topamax was your magic bullet but its not honey, we keep saying Topamax is just a tool to help you and you have to have lots of other tools in your toolbox to make it work like L-glut, your lifestyle, stress management, etc.

                So personally I think you should go back on the Topa. You havent been off long so you can jump back in at 50mg and then taper up by 25mg a week. This time you have to have a serious plan though. Set yourself a goal. Say that you want to have at least 30 days alcohol free, if you do more, cool, but 30 is an awesome start. Don't plan any exotic trips for this time (I know you couldn't help the other one) add some L-glut, don't go to parties, make it your number one priority to be sober.

                Therapy will help hon, but knowing me, I can go to 10 000 therapy sessions and if I don't have something to help me curb the cravings in the first crucial 30 days, its not going to help. You can even consider adding antabuse if you are really serious about simply putting the possibility of drinking out of your mind. Its not for everyone but it gives me incredible peace of mind. I no longer spend ANY time debating whether I want to drink or not on a daily basis as firstly Topa has taken away all my cravings (and you can go higher than a 100 if you have to, with the right supplements, or you can add L-glut) and I know the Antabuse won't allow me to drink for at least another 5 days. So if I have a bad day I may consider stopping Antabuse the next morning but usually by the next AM those feelings and emotions are dealt with and I'm ready to face life head on again without AL, so I take another little pill and I push through. Of course this is just a suggestion and not for everyone.

                Like WTE, I consider Topamax a drug for life now. It has truly helped me with my cravings. To be honest, I was a bit wary when you said you wanted to go off it and do it on your own because I know how hard that can be and I knew that if it was so easy for you, you would not have resorted to Topa in the first place. But I didn't want to run my mouth.

                I think it did make a big difference for you and it can do that again. But in the end that is your decision. Perhaps it would be helpful to go over your posts of the last month or so and track what topa did for you and then decide? Maybe the others can also chime in.

                I admire your strength and tenacity, Mimi, and will support your decision either way. I think therapy is always a good answer, but I think therapy will be even more beneficial when you have a good few days AF under you belt and the fog has lifted a bit.

                Don't give up before the miracle of sobriety happens for you, in whichever way it chooses to present itself to you.

                I'm sending lots of love, hugs, and positive healing thoughts your way.

                :h:h:h

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Dizzy thanks for the feedback. I will go back on the topa and add the L-Glut. Will have to read my book again to figure out how to take the glut.
                  :hitme:
                  Day 1:4/4/2014

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Thanks for the comments, all. I'll be fine...I so look forward to reading all your posts & just being here.

                    Tonight to Spacebebe: Thanks so much for your comments and posts. They mean so much to me. This is so simple to say this, but the fact you're on AB has really had me thinking. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired of being less than what I am...I dunno. Maybe a 30 day stretch on AB might be a good thing for me...thinking!

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      And I thank you all for the rest of your posts! WTE, DZ, etc...I'm a hot mess right now. It'll be ok, I know. :-))

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Hi everyone,

                        Houxt to clear up a misunderstanding Im not on AB anymore, I took it for the six months, now I just dont want to drink much, Im not going to test it tho and because Im taking 4 different meds I dont know which one is doing what, I honestly think its the combination. But I do have to say that for the most of those six months the AB worked, as dizzy says knowing I couldnt drink stopped my arguing in my head about whether I sould or shouldnt. I think its a great tool to use to get a stretch AF, it is a commitment to not drinking but you have to be sure you want that because you really can not drink when youve taken it. I think its best to take something for the cravings as well, so if your taking topa at the same time and that helos with cravings it will definately make it easier.

                        Last night I drank 2 1/2 cans, I didnt want more, in fact I think after 2 my body didnt want more, it will just take my brain a little time to catch up.

                        will come back later to chat more

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Good Morning all - Mimi - I have no idea if therapy would help you or not. My (new) doc wants me to go for therapy - I know around here I am never going to find anyone who will be the type I am looking for - she gave me a number at the local hospital and it turns out it is a group counselling thing - I am way too shy for that and would just sit and not say a word unless forced to - I think one on one might be good - but don't know if it can be any good for AL problems - I suppose it depends why we drink. The only way you would find out if it would be any good really is to go and see? I know I am not going to!!

                          Space you and I struggle with the same thing - to stick with the two cans !! I did not succeed last night unfortunately. I ended up having four. I didn't have my dose of L-Glut nor my supps late afternoon which might have contributed to that. Today is another day - I have 2 cans in the fridge !! LOL

                          Rainy - lovely to see you and so glad you popped in - sorry about the fight with hubs.... hope you have made up now???

                          Diz - thanks for the e-mail - you are so sweet and always think of others - how are YOU doing?? Did you get the translation finished in time? I am sure you did......

                          off to get ready for work.....

                          Love and hugs to all,

                          sun XX
                          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            I?m snowed under with work until the end of tomorrow and I?m really determined to meet this deadline.

                            I?ll try to check in properly tonight to respond on a more personal level but til then know that I am AF, OK and I am wishing you a happy and healthy day.

                            PS: Mimi, just ask Sunny and WTE how to take the L-Glut, they are pros at it.

                            :h:h:h

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Hi Mimi - I take the powder - I take 2 tsps in about an inch or so of water a few times a day. It is tasteless. you can take more if needed - some folk take tabs but the body assimilates the powder faster. Some people just put a tsp of the powder under the tongue but it half choked me when I did that!! LOL I find it better to take it nearer to when I will be drinking rather than early morning - unless of course one is an early morning drinker....... need any more info? Just let me know - hugs to you :l

                              Sun XX

                              Grangelady has a thread in Holistic healing about L-Glut - I haven't read it but the title is L-Glut Unbelievable or something like that - so you might check that out too - so might I !!!
                              How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Mimi I also have the L glut powder a couple of times a day, in the morning then usually before dinner time. I take it of a morning because I was a morning drinker and Im not now so theres a result. When I first came around MWO and heard of L glut I bought the tablets from a health food shop and they did nothing at all which put me off bothering with it again, but since I got the powder I do think it works.

                                Yep sun this 2 cans thing eh. Last night I knew I had had enough but still opened and poured the third one I didnt drink it all tho and then thought to myself what am I doing, I dont want this and made my hot milk! but a couple of times I have wanted the third even the forth and I really dont want to be drinking that much. I need to start drinking later, with not being able to do anything because of my back I am getting very bored now and am opening the can just out of boredom.

                                Dizzy glad you are ok, Im sure you will meet the deadline, is it the translation work?

                                xxx

                                Comment

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