New here and starting Topa and with a question

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, excellent picture posting directions, I will have a go at it, thanks, I always got hung up on it coming out as just an attachment.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All

I really had a laugh at the Waffly Mood thing. It?s just that you can't really tell if someone's kidding in text and because English is my second language I don't always know if something is US or UK English. :H That was funny. Waffling means to go on and on. I have no idea if it IS British but it has nothing to do with waffles...but it did cheer me up no end.

I'm afraid this is going to be another short post (although I always say that and then I waffle (ha!) on but I'm hoping to catch a nap and write another one tonight. Although Topa works brilliantly for me it does make me a bit tired for the first few weeks. And I had no choice but to go up as my AL cravings came back and my mood dropped. Really upset about that but hey, I was only at 50mg and I'm only going up with 12.5mg so there is lots of room for improvement yet.

Sun, you can always just post a pic of you driving on your bike with your helmet on, that way I dont think anyone will recognise you? And Play did tell you how to delete a post...so otherwise you could just have it on here for a few days and then delete it.

The skype talk was draining in a good way. I had to keep stopping myself from bursting into tears as I realised how much I missed the bugger. Also he was wearing this light blue sweater (my fave color) and he looked so hot that I just wanted to jump him. LOL. I?ll stop now...

I now understand what you guys mean when you say you are so overwhelmed after coming back after a few days. There are so much to say and so little time. Hmmm.

Play, it seems you had centre stage there. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just mean reading back, you felt comfortable enough discussing your issues and Wild swooped in like the heroine she is and helped out. So did everyone else. Besides, its not about that, it?s about each of us taking turns to discuss our lives and problems. (whose waffling now? :H) And I?m glad you decided to ?just say no? and to also buy some comfy clothes, something I also often deny myself, trying to ?bully? myself into dieting.


Space, I've always been very reluctant to say this as I know this site is full of Bac supporters that will have my head, but as this is the Topa thread, please be careful? I know Bac helps for lots of people, just as Topa does, but Bac made me feel worse and made me drink more and actually led me to to have a psychotic episode. I spent a week in bed, not eating or sleeping, just drinking and hearing voices. I'm NOT saying it will do this to anyone else but it was really scary. It could also have been stress on my side. My psychiatrist did not want to comment on my self-medicating with bac but she did immediately take me off it and replaced it with lamictal, which she then later replaced with topamax.

WTE, Charlie will be better in no time. Did you remove the tube yet? How are YOU doing?

Houtx, you've been neglecting us. I think its Topa Cobana time girlfriend. What do you have to lose? Especially now that Schools out for Summer to quote Alice Cooper?

Kradle, nice to have you with us. My psychiatrist said that Topa works as an antidepressant for 2 out of a 100 people. I think that woman might have been one of those two. Also, have you decided what to do about your dose yet? Would you please consider reading (or rereading the book) and taking the supps to help with the SE and holding on and if that doesn?t help dropping back to 25mg? I?m serious when I say that Topa is MUCH STRONGER for those with bipolar tendencies.

Struggles and Hippie Girl and anyone else I may have forgotten to mention, are we going to hear from you again?

Oh and hi Wildflowers you sweetheart.

My eyes are closing here, I need a nap before my stinky slippered brother returns from work. I?ll catch up on work a bit tonight again. Just can?t keep my eyes open now.

Lots of love and positive energy,

Diz

:h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Okay everyone - here is a pic of me with my motorcycle



Much love, Sun XX Attached files [img]/converted_files/1871931=6837-attachment.jpg[/img]

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

:shocked: Always knew you were a hotty but DAMN, SUN! :shocked:

:H:H:H

[mama bear]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

TOO FUNNY sUN!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

mama bear;1329531 wrote: TOO FUNNY sUN!

What do you mean too funny? How do you know that isn't me jan ???? LOL

[mama bear]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I am sure I was just really sleepy when I spent the weekend with you!!!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh yeah - I forgot about that - :H:H:H

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OMG!!! Now I really feel like a barn, LOL.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

How about this one then.......



Is this one of me better????

:H:H:H Attached files [img]/converted_files/1871977=6838-attachment.jpg[/img]

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, YAY, I finally got the picture to work. So here is my little patio. This is only half of it and the plants are now much bigger and with lots of flowers and all. So, I'll be posting lots of pictures now, I'm alot more beautiful than Sun.

hugs, play Attached files [img]/converted_files/1871981=6840-attachment.jpg[/img]

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

playland;1329573 wrote: I'm alot more beautiful than Sun.

hugs, play

ROTFLMBO !!! You go Linda - lets see some pics - so happy you got it to work!!

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just wanted to stop by and say "HI" to everyone.

I don't feel like I have anything to share this morning but wanted to get caught up on everyone's posts.

A new change here since I got back from my convention. All the grocery stores are now carrying hard alcohol. I know other states have had it in there stores for awhile but in Washington state it is a new thing. Ugh, like I needed one more thing to temp me.

Today is day 20 for me but I feel a little like a time bomb ready to go off. What I mean by that is I feel like I could give in any day and blow it all.

I lost my topa. Don't ask me how since I keep it in the same place all the time but somehow it is gone. I have been off of it for the last 3 weeks and should probably order more but since I drank right through the topa I'm not sure I will get more. I will put in the effort of finding it today though.

I am now down to the wire on losing the weight I gained. I have 54 days to lose 13 pounds. It is possible if I do the Medifast program. But like staying away from alcohol I seem to have no control over my eating. I did great all yesterday and then last night I blew it. I absolutely HAVE TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT. I feel terrible being the weight I am at now and my clothes don't fit.

You would think going 20 days without drinking I would go down a pound or two but NO, I make up for it by eating. No self discipline.

I refuse to get a dress for my daughters wedding until I am successful at getting this weight off.

Okay, so I said I had nothing to say and this post is all about me ,sorry, but I am thinking about all of you and glad to see your posts. What a battle we all face. Life is difficult sometimes and we are the lucky one's that try and cover it up by drinking or eating. How do we stop this terrible cycle?

Enough complaining. Hope you all have a great day. Be strong!!!

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Is this one of me better????
I like them both. Your a hottie!....

I am sure I was just really sleepy when I spent the weekend with you!!!
Us brunettes may be jealous, of your secret blond friend. Hahaha. :H:H:H

I had to keep stopping myself from bursting into tears as I realised how much I missed the bugger. Also he was wearing this light blue sweater (my fave color) and he looked so hot that I just wanted to jump him. LOL. I’ll stop now...

Oh my, that poor man has no idea what is about to happen to him on the 28th thru..................... Should we send him a special man's care package? Bandaids, soothing creams, a special cast. Perhaps a lock & key to keep the tigress away for a day or two????

Hi, YAY, I finally got the picture to work. So here is my little patio. This is only half of it and the plants are now much bigger and with lots of flowers and all. So, I'll be posting lots of pictures now

Love your beautiful patio garden. I have hanging pots & deck pots. My fave is what I call my magical fairy pot. Wished I could memeber the name of the flowers. They remind me of those magic rocks that my brother & I grew in fish bowls as kids. Plus there's all these little delicate flowers growing around them, with blue lobilia (sp) around the edges Thanks for sharing!

I gave my digital camera to my youngest one when she moved in Jan. I don't have a smart phone, but can take pics with my cell. I have an outdoor camera. No USB cord to up-load. My hubbs has an old digital & I-phone. He uploads at work.

Maybe sometime I will give it a go, with what I have on file. I was playing on the test bed here at this site last wknd. I was able to get one PNG file to work, as my BMP file was to large. But, then I got paranoid as peeps can copy to their files. See my ISP. It was me with my back turned at the river, beautiful day, gorgeous trees & all. I was fishing with my trout pole. I love being outdoors by water, trees, etc. I am a wildflower, butterfly type of gal.

As soon as my other daughter has some free time, I will ask her about security issues. She actually works for accounts security & abuse. Tho her & many of their jobs may be going over seas. :upset: She works full time & is a college student.

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dear Mimi,

It's OK to just read, I think we all do that some days. Think Ms Sun or somebody told ya that, no worries about this.

We have no control over what grocery stores stock on their shelves. It use to bother me when I passed the beer & wine aisle. It no longer does. In fact it hasn't for a couple of yrs. I've been off & on the wagon so many times, I've lost count. The more you get your mindset into one of either modding or eliminating, these things will lose their power over you. Plus you have your faith to rely upon to help you when your weak & tempted. That's a blessing many people don't have.

Congratulations on day 20, that is huge!..... We all struggle with our goals, & I personally think modding is harder. Abstaining is easier as the decision has been made. Can you reach out on the ASAP board for added support & strength????? Or the Newbies Nest, there are some very lovely people over there, that I'm sure would welcome you with open arms. There are many people who have been right where you are, have felt exactly the same way as you. "time bomb ready to go off." "What I mean by that is I feel like I could give in any day and blow it all." Believe me with the right change in perspective ~ attitude, other available tools & support you too can make it to the other side if this is what YOU REALLY WANT???? Have you had enough??? I call it the Research Dept. I hope you keep moving fwd!.... For myself it's so hard to keep starting over. In fact it's even harder, more work then to just abstain. At one point it took me nearly 3 fecking yrs to try again & deaths door was knocking. I am a Mom like you... They need us!... We need to learn to love ourselves. Please go back & read what I wrote to Play. I'm finding my voice, owning my own power.

I know what you mean about drinking over or thru the Topa. This is how it works for myself, once the Topa kicks in, it helps with initial cravings. This is what I needed, so the fecking "time bomb" wouldn't explode. However, if I drank on it after a time period of it kicking in & just had one or two fine. But after two it was just like I hadn't taken it, so it was a waste. I can easily play mind games with myself. I'm a true alkie. Meaning I tend to have some thinking issues. I don't view addiction wholly as a physical problem. It's also in my opinion an emotional, mental & spiritual one.


So, with that being said about my own experiences drinking on Topa, you listen to your own body & make a decision about whether or not you want to go back on it. Whether you find your lost bottle or you re-order. I went on a 10 day run. I didn't drink everyday, modded most the days I drank, but then the last two drank over or thru the Topa. Scared the crap out of me!..... So I stopped. I think the last night or two didn't take my Topa. So I was only off of it a short time. I was also playing around with my dosage b4 my 10 day run. Going back & fourth 50 mg then 75 mg, then 62.5 mg. So I found out the hard way 75mg works. I will have to live with the SE, but at least I will live! Or I hope to anyway!

I will reiterate about this weight issue. I understand that you want to look your very best at your daughters wedding, what Mom wouldn't. You do have time to get those 13lbs off. It's a balancing act & really a bit of a choice here. When we stop drinking many of us get hungry, cause we are mal-nourished. My choice is to get healthy & eat. Worry about the weight later. Even if I had my daughter's wedding to attend. I can tell you for a fact this is also what she would want me to do as well. So, please just put your health first. Maybe compromise. You have time on your side. So focus on your sobriety, esp now that it's early days & esp on those days your struggling more.

As for having "No Discipline" I doubt that! It's called Addiction. Right now I don't think your trading in booze for food. It's your body screaming, feed me, it needs nutrients. You also take on many roles & where different hats in life. Please be nice to yourself!!!!! Your beautiful, smart, kind & a giving woman who has many roles she has taken on in life!....

You did have something to say & it's not all about you. Do you have any idea how much this helps me & maybe others? Let me be the first to thank you Mimi. There is a woman on this site who told me I was beautiful & that I could find my lost voice. Well I'm a findin it. It's emerging, it's still fragile, but its waking up. It's like that saying I saw some years back painted on the wall of a only woman's work out gym, that I belonged to. " When Sleeping Woman Wake ~ They Can Move Mountains"

I'm trying to pass it on. You can find your voice in this & own your power to. You can turn that battle & your complaining into something quite positive, even miraculous. Now don't get me wrong I do my share of complainin too. We need to get this "Shite" out of our heads sometimes. Makes us feel better. Don't forget to find things to make ya smile & laugh, it can do wonders for the soul~mind. :H

Luv,:h

Wildflowers