New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

SO MUCH to reply to - I need to shower for the Monday meeting, then have to go by the car place - have some lights on on my car dashboard - hopefully they will say it isn't urgent and can wait. then will come home and try and go through everything. Have the closing shift today.

Hugs, Sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

I have visa in hand and flight quote on its way and boyfriend about to pay for it tonight. We sorted out our issues again yesterday.

I did have a go at him yesterday on the phone because of the way he treated me and then I spent time with my family and then we spent a quiet hour on Skype just reconnecting and talking about how difficult its been for both of us and promising to stop our nonsense. In the next couple of days his tension at work will clear up, my mom should be better and the most of my admin stuff should be done and then we can just relax and enjoy being together.

Thanks Skendall, its very kind of you to let me know, but I do not take medicine lightly and have done my homework on Seroquel. I know its not something to take lightly.

I'm a very private person normally so I share stuff here I wouldnt normally dream of sharing with anyone else. So I guess I can lie and say I am going to stop taking the Seroquel and I'm prepared to lie awake for the next 3 weeks or I can tell you the truth and say I will take 50mg when I can't sleep. I know I'm not supposed to use it but being on the meds thread I think most of us have at some point self prescribed some med without consulting our doc. My pdoc has discussed the option of taking 150mg Seroquel with me before but I was afraid of the weight gain.

Its the same with drinking, if I feel too much pressure to not drink on here, I may just not mention drinking at all, or I may not feel at home. I DON'T feel too much pressure though. I love this thread to bits. I'm on AB at the moment and have had more AF days while one here than not. My goals shift and move and I know my ultimate goal will be to be AF but right now I can't promise it will be that forever. The MWO book tells us Topa allows us to moderate and this thread very much explores this possibility. But I like the fact that half of us are AF and half not and ALL of us are in the same boat an NONE of us come on here bragging about what a cool party they had or how much fun drinking is. We all have a common desire to cut down or quit and to learn from each other and support each other and love each other in the process.

I have so much work and admin and paperwork to catch up up with. My dad is better and probably coming home but my mom is so depressed that she asked me not to go. I looked in the mirror earlier and my face is so pale, I have a fever blister, which I never get and I truly look sick. I'm taking my other meds as prescribed as well as a good multi and some extra vitamins to counteract the Topa but remember its middle winter here so I'm just at breaking point. :nutso:

I think its great that you are so creative Space. I do however think that you should probably learn to sometimes say no if you possible can. I know I'm one to talk, so only say no if its really bugging you.

Wildflowers, thank you for being such a supportive part of this thread, I really enjoy reading your posts. I hope you stay. Have you considered doing what I did and doing two threads, staying here and then joining a thread solely committed to recovery/abstainence. That way you can talk about your feelings and stay in touch with old friends while also giving yourself the meaty recovery bit that we seem to lack here. The daily Ab thread really is nice, and then there is a weekly Ab one and a even an AA one too.

Houtx, thanks for sharing a part of yourself with us...finally I'm sure for you and WTE, Somewhere out there, someone is waiting for you.

Sun, I hope you are feeling better, and sorry about the poison itchy stuff in the garden, I've only seen stuff like that in American comedy movies but I'm sure its not funny for you. I hope you are feeling a bit better after your friend's husband's death and keep us posted about the Sceletium, I'm keen to know if it works. I will move towards more natural approaches when I'm settled in the UK and touch base with a local doctor, but will unfortunately have to go private, so it will be expensive.

Play, I know what you mean, I can only read on my smart phone but not post, sometimes its infuriating as I just HAVE to chip in, so I hope you find a way to post soon. I hope you are enjoying sunny Spain. I'm freezing as I'm typing here but at least London should be warm when I get there...for a month...or two.

Sorry if I missed anyone, and I hope that you're going to join us soon Trixie and that Hippiegirl is also going to say hello again. HG had to go off AB due to her diabetes but she is still AL free - yay!

Sorry if I'm a bit self-absorbed right now, I will try to comment more on everyone's posts tomorrow.

Lots of hugs and love to everyone.

:h

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WOW What a post Wild and so much to say.

I did hear something about the law suit but didnt take any notice of it, I only bother when its something to do with a drugs safety not the ompany trying to sell more by making up more uses. There are plenty of peeps who would like drug companies to press for the uses we alcoholics have for topamax and baclofen so it goes both ways I think. Although having taken Serequel I am shicked that it would be used as a sleep aid since its such a nasty med and there are so many other sleep aids around. Anyway I see my psychiatrist next week and will be asking her to change it.

About your other conerns Wild, I think we all hope to try and find what helps each one of us, and thats different for us all. I love MWO and dont think I would be where Im at today without it. I love the fact that for me I can be chatty and just talk about my day, or be serious and talk about my problems and alongside talking about my recovery from drinking. They are all part of my life and everyone elses and by doing that I start learning about how others deal with their own lives after heavy drinking. I stumbled across this thread and just popped in to ask a question about All One powder one day and have stayed since, Im not on topa but it doesnt matter because I love the peeps on here and our journey through life. It also doesnt matter how they are dealing with their own problems, if anyone is still drinking, cutting down or AF that is their own decision, its about how we can improve ourselves and our lives.

I dont want to just talk recovery now I am more settled and its been a good while since my heavy drinking out of control nightmare days I dont know as it would even be good for me to talk about it too much, apart from that I dont have much to say about it, I take meds and I think that erases most of the angst about being AF. But I would have thought there are other threads on here that do talk about it more, you say you like the 12 steps and I have noticed there is an AA thread and other abstinence threads. I have not wanted to go on them myself so cant say what they are like. Whatever you choose tho I do hope you find what helps you.

Oh my birthday is on 8th July, I am robably going to go out for a meal with my family for it, I was thinking about a party but I cant be arsed with who to invite and it would probably cause me stress so I wont bother.

Even tho Ive cut down on my serequel I am still having lazy tiredness problems, I am still in bed and its gone 2pm not long woke up, so it may well be something else but who knows. My kitchen is full of dirty dishes, I dont even want to go in there but I am just going to have to start and clear up the mess, I dont know how that happened I cant remembr cooking that much

:l

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space, I think we cross-posted, and am cross. Am glad I stop trying to get the world to join this thread. This is not in reference to anyone in specific I'm just glad right now that its just us - and the people that have been invited of course .

I think you may be sleepy because Seroquel makes one sleepy and Gabapentin makes one sleepy. If I take 50mg at night I am a bit groggy but I'm fine after 8am but it could be that I'm just a bundle of adrenalin right now. Do you take it at night and is it XR?

My bf spends a lot of time in Leeds, thats close to you, right? So perhaps we can have high tea after all if you like. Don't feel you have to. I'm a bit of a recluse most of the time, I just kind of never thought I would meet someone on here. And you make me laugh, like when you wrote you saw a bird peeing! LOL.

Sunny, any chance of you coming to the UK in the next 6 months? Perhaps thats just what the doctor ordered. A tea party with me and Space and Play can also come over the Channel. Of course everyone else is also invited, well everyone from this thread, :H

:h

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy we did cross post but I have been busy with the dresses since then so only just saw it. Progress is very very slow it a good job I started them so early. After my son went to school this morning I went back to bed and my daughters wedding dress was getting delivered!!!!!! I totally forgot, she is not very happy, they are redelivering it tomorrow. OOOPS

I know the serquel makes me more sleepy Dizzy, thats one reason why I want to change next week when I see the doc, also I hate the weight gain, I am honestly not eating more but have put on around a stone and I already wanted to loose weight before that. Ummm the gabapentin, yes it says that can make me sleepy but the benefits of it are so great right now I am hoping when the serequel is out of the way it will clear up.. Although even before these meds I have been like this tho not quite as bad, but I have even considered that I have got chronic fatigue or something.

Play if your out there I hope you and the family are ok and that you find a way to post soon.

I would love a tea party, I cant drive on motorways tho because I have panic attacks on them but we will have to sort something out It would be amazing if Sunny could come visiting the UK as well, and of course Play and anyone else but I think its a bit far for most peeps to come for a cup of tea and a cake

I am also a bit of a recluse, my star sign is Cancer not that I believe in all that but the hiding in my shell bit does go, but I would climb out to meet you all.

Oh well its nearly bedtime for me now so Goodnight xx

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, oh my gosh,
I just was able to log in after about 50 guesses at my password, noe I'm too tired to post but boy do I have my 2cents worth to add tomorrow, oh , it so good to see you all.

See you tomorrow,
Xoxoxo, play

[Wildflowers]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I agree 100% that the most important thing is "It also doesn't matter how they are dealing with their own problems, if anyone is still drinking, cutting down or AF that is their own decision, its about how we can improve ourselves and our lives." That would be a great Signature line !..... One size doesn't fit all! I mentioned that in one of my posts the other day here.

I think for me that my alcoholism became so advanced that I'm really scared! Even tho I've cut weigh back like you have, some others here feel it's not good enough. This is why I left AA. Why I don't want to go back. People like me are looked down upon. Tho I think the steps are of great value. I've made great improvements over the years, I know it & my family knows it. I'm doing everything I can to get AF. I may have degenerative PAWS. Thus why I relapse. I also have mental health issues, physical health problems. I don't have the financial resources to go to the best in-patient rehab or op re-habs. I even discussed one with my Endo Dr. & PDr it's all self pay. They are out of my network. The ones in my net work are all 12 step. Go to meetings. Meetings aren't enuf for me to stay sober. Gawd forbid you tell AA people you take meds & they say downgrading crap to you. Relapse more then 3 times your not one of them. The woman are worse then the men when it comes to compassion in my experiences.


I'm very thankful that I now have my hubs support, that I do have some Ins & whole lot more then some folks have. Plus I'm still breathing so there's lots of hope!..... More if I stay sober. As long as I can think & function.

I've taken a look at some of the other threads in the past & will do again per Spaces & Dizzys suggestions. I think I need a balance of both. I love having you here Space & I don't care if you take Topa or not. I really relate to you. Almost posted on your thread the other day. You & brunnhilda made me laugh something about pigging out. Little did I know I was pigging out on Taco Bell that night with my Daughter.

I think I do need something with a more "meaty recovery" So I will look. The AA thread here isn't very active. DG who used to post isn't around anymore, think she's in school studying to become a counselor. She started here at MWO then went to AA. MWO has a different mindset, (I think) then AA. I'm trying to de-program some of my brain & re-train. Keeping parts I like & making a new program, that MWO teaches, along with things I learned long ago at op-rehab.

That whole thread on long term ended up bothering me ~ upsetting me, but also made me realize I need something more then just talking about day to day life stuff. Of course I'm confused, tired don't feel well at the time. Stressed like Dizzy, not as bad as what shes been going thru. Sorry about your fever blister & hope things soon will mellow out for you!.... Your in my prayers!....

The other night when I went bonkers in my head the morning I woke up & wanted to drink, but never did. The night before had to where a hat & 3 layers of clothes, turned the fake fireplace on in bdrm. I was freezing! Couldn't sleep, body aches. All from stress. I know this sounds bad, but am looking fwd to my daughter moving Sat. I'm feeling really low. Haven't had period all month. They come & go. I feel like crying. My mood needs to improve soon as Baby bear arrives Friday. I can't sleep. I skipped the afternoon Java. My daughter said she thinks it's making me agitated.

I saw the shrink today & I told him the truth about my relapse ~ slips. It was 15 min appt. trying to make up for last appt. I was talking like I was on speed. I for got my banana. I was running late. I got on the elevator & pushed the wrong button. It was the fire alarm. Oh fuck!.... :upset: No body was in it with me. I get up there & tell them. Dr. opens the door, I say just tell them it's one of your nutso patients & he quietly says no, I mean in a nice way. I now have 10 min left. I think he knew I was wound up tighter then top. He asks me if I want to come in sooner then my 6 wk appts, I say no. He asks me if I'd like my next appt to be longer & I say no I just was trying to get it all out from two appts, but if I change my mind I will call. Whew. I think I'm a basket case. :nutso:

Now in all honesty I do feel better typing this all out here. It's like a private sanctuary in a way. I've always told you ladies you don't have to respond. I know your all crazy busy, stressed with your own lives. I'm doing it for my own relief so I don't pop. ~ explode. Who knows like Space said others may learn or not feel so alone or something of that nature. I just have to do my best to stay sober. Things will look brighter tom I hope. I really do want to stay sober. I want to live!....

So I think Space is right & very smart!......I'm so grateful your here!.... You have helped me so much today! Thank you!...
So I'm going to put my jammies on, get in bed, & veg in front of the TV. Space is right I'm thinking too much about all this recovery stuff. Eat something healthy. Then I may eat a whole bag of Kit Kat bars. No probably just a few. I've noticed with the Topa I don't crave chocolate as much. L-glutmaine in the brain must be working better. Thanks for sharing your b-day date. We will have to find some over the hill balloons for yours & mine 50th in July. :l

Take Care

Wildflowers

I will still pop in just not as much. Need a Holiday from the PC in general. That's if my alkie ~ obsessive brain can be disciplined enough to stop. I think I may already be addicted to MWO. hahaha.....

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

What an active thread this has become! Just when I became so less able to spend time. So many of your posts resonate but I cannot respond or share except to say you're doing great works. I will join in more as I can.

:l:l:l

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Whoa - so much to respond to...
DZ, I think I've neglected you in recent posts and I apologize b/c I LOVE yours! Glad you are doing pretty well it sounds like and you and the bf are working towards a resolution. Hope so!

Space - hang in there. So too , the rest of you!!

WF - I'm sorry things are so "unsure" (??) with you, but appreciate your candor. Yes, if this thread is not as AF as you need, then spread your wings. We are a mixed bag here, and not very hard-core, obviously, but certainly supportive. I sort-of feel like you are stomping your foot at us, and again, that's not what any of us need. Did I read you wrong?

I heard impatience and angst at the social aspect of this thread as opposed to the rally-round the AA-let's get sober flagpole. That's ok - no offense, but that's exactly what we are here, I believe, a laid-back, mixed back of alkies in varying stages of trying to improve our habits. Be that getting completely sober or just cutting down, we are all in different places and stages and just using this thread as a group therapy place. Right?! That's all - you said yourself, you like it for that reason too. So, just come on here w/ an open mind and if we are not what you need for your hard-core AF goals, then branch out. This place is perfect for me...

I love your posts though, so hope you'll continue to waffle back & forth with us, if you can! Hang in there - you sound like you're doing great and are an inspiration!!

Not here tonight to address everyone, I never can do that - lose track. Hope all else is well w/ everyone!

XO

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yay Play Im glad you made it and sorted out how to post, look forward to hearing more from you

Houtx, I like the way you describe us as not very hard core, thats what I love and need, I have had enough tough love to last 2 lifetimes thank you very much and feel safe and secure here because we can be both supportive and friendly at the same time. How are you doing, I love your reading your posts and admire your go get em attitude, I need to develop some of that myself

Hi Wild, have you thought about doing a workbook or something like that. Ive bought them but never actually done the work but you seem to want something a bit more structured and Im wondering if you could perhaps spend part of each day doing something like that it might help you. We are what we are on here, a friendly easy going bunch with different goals and aspirations who have somehow managed to come together to support each other, I for one think thats bloody wonderful and amazing and would hate to loose it in favour of recovery talk. We do that as well but its just part of our everyday lives as it should be.

WTE where are you? and Mimi where have you gone?

Dizzy, I know your busy, Im so glad that your dad is on the up, thats great news, your mum will be ok as will everyone else. You have done well sorting through the paperwork and will soon be aboard the love plane

Sun, I do hope you are feeling ok today, the whole of the past week must have been so draining for you, both emotionally and physically, you probably could do with rest, love, reassurance and some lovely food. I cant give you those things but I am here to remind you to try and get them. When I first came on to this thread you and dizzy where posting quite a lot and you gave me more help than I could ever tell you. I love your honesty and your kindness, you have become such an important part of my life and I love you being there. so I will take this as an opportunity to thank you sooooo much :h:l

I am still in bed drinking my coffee but as its 8.20 thats ok. I want to go back to sleep but Im not going to let myself, the wedding dress is getting delivered again today, I have to get that, and I have a hairdressing appointment as well. I a sooo bloody tired tho I dont know if I will make it through the day. I am cutting my serequel down bit by bit, I did want to wait to see the doc but I really cant go on like this and without seeing her Im not sure what to expect when I stop, but my decision is made to stop which I will be telling her next week. So I know enough about myself to be careful of how I feel and think while Im doing this, if things start getting a bit wobbly with my thoughts I will go back up a bit, thats why Im just shaving a bit more off at a time, I will still be taking some when I see her, just a lot less than she prescribed. I am very hit and miss at taking antabuse right now, dont know what thats about whether Im planning a drink or what but really I do feel pretty shit with all this tiredness as things are so probably the very last thing I need is a drink to make me feel worse, even if it is only 1 or 2 so I will go and take one now while I am thinking about it. I should also go ant take some L glut as well. How the hell is this stuff so difficult to remember to take, its next to my kettle for gods sake and Im always making tea. [Note to self...Take your bloody L glut you soft cow].

Ok I am going to get up now so look forward hearing from you all today and will be back later. xxx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Oh, I woke up in the worst way imaginable this morning. I woke up screaming at 6:30 AM. I had a nightmare that my mom was trying to kill me. I was sitting in a car and she had a small knife and a half smile on her face and she was explaining to me how she was going to do it. I was screaming my brother's name but you know how it is in dreams, or in my dreams anyway, the screams never want to come out, but this time a whisper of a scream came out and it woke me up. Luckily he was awake and getting ready for work but luckily also he didn't hear my scream as I was frantic. It was awful and I only had 5 hours sleep.

I wish everyone would just get along. I'm not talking about our thread or anyone in our thread, some stuff was said in THAT thread that directly affects some people in the Ab thread and it really appalled me.

So if you go to AA and you slip up every couple of months, does that mean you can no longer go there? Are you less worthy? Are you not trying hard enough? Who are the other members to judge you? Perhaps they quit when they were 20 years older than you, that could make a difference. Perhaps they have much more support, live a much quieter life, have different brain chemistry. That's why I left, I didn't feel ready to say I can commit forever and I didn't want the whole group to have a breakdown should I have a relapse. Sorry, rant over, and I'm not going to discuss it further.

Yes, where is Mimi and WTE. Sometimes I fear we will just collapse and at other times we are so busy I can't keep up.

Space, just a thought here, perhaps you are tired because you have titrated off the Bac, so if I was you I would perhaps just keep my meds the way they are for a week so my body can adjust. Our bodies can respond in weird ways and its my opinion that perhaps you are changing too much too fast. I know how infuriating it can be to be tired all the time, but withdrawals can cause tiredness. But then again, what do I know LOL. Just think about it and if you don't agree, then that's cool too.

Houtx, perhaps you were black in your previous life, sistah! I can just Imagine you in a Queen Latifah movie, giving the peeps some Tude. I'm just teasing, I like your posts, especially when you open up a bit more. But it seems you and WTE do relay as now she's missing again.

Bruun, nice to see you, you are always welcome. We've actually been quite busy since March. Well, not super duper busy but as in most of us post daily kind of thing.

Wildflowers, I'm sorry to hear you are also stressing so much. Did your doc change your pills? I always think of you as my Topa buddy as we are both bipolar and have a similar effect from it. I am now on 62.5mg and as I'm now not drinking I am feeling slightly manic again. Do you think that's perhaps whats happening with you? My cravings are under control but I have heart palpitations, problems sleeping, I'm also cold ALL THE TIME, I don't want to eat, my tummy is upset, I'm in all just not a very happy bunny.

I was just wondering if you draw the conclusion that Topa could be causing this for you. I am a bit self absorbed at the moment as I'm stressed so I'm sorry if I don't pick up everything so if you mentioned a huge stressor that could also be it. But otherwise perhaps your dose could be looked at - you alternate between 62.5 and 75, right? Remember these pills have the power to make us manic, so we have to be very careful. Perhaps we should take a page out of WTE's book and keep a journal of our dose and our feelings every day.

Please don't think I'm judging you, I'm just drawing parallels between us and if there aren't any there, feel free to tell me.

Looking forward to hearing from your adventures, Play! :hallo:

Imagining you all pink and full of poison oak/ivy, Sun and just wanted to second what Space said. You are the :h of this thread, whether you want that title or not. :l

Just waiting for boyfriend to OK ticket then I guess its 100% final that I'm going. And then if my mom can then just snap out of her suicidal depression, I too would feel better, gawd. She's not making this easy for me as tonight I have to go visit my dad and make them food and I too feel like some pampering but there are only so many hands on deck. At least its sunny today so I think I'll take the dog to the park for a walk, even though its freezing.

Let me get some STUFF done, got a lot of STUFF.

:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh poor you Dizzy, I dont function on hardly any sleep, I hate that waking up screaming, I still do it but not like I did when I was drinking and it was a regular thing, I would terrify the poor kids with my screams in the night. I know you are super stressed and busy so I am keeping this short but now you know the stress will come to an end soon I hope that will give you some sort of release.

I dont know about coming off baclofen making me tired, I hadnt thought about it, I am not coming right off the serequel just shaving a little bit off. but Im up now and about to get a shower and go and get my hair done. The dress has been delivered so thats one less thing for me to worry about.

Does topa make peeps tired?

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks Space, :l

Actually right now I feel good again, I feel a bit hyper. Sometimes I can't help smiling when I think that other people come here and look at the 'meds thread' people like circus monkeys. LOL, I'm teasing, but we are probably a bit more odd than the normal garden variety. I must remember to add in my will that I will donate my brain to science. OK, I'll stop now.

You see? Now I feel all bubbly again, I think the Topa is finally start leveling out.

Topa makes most people tired Space but it makes bipolar people energetic. It can also serve as a antidepressant for biplar patients, whereas for most people it does not.

If I take the right dose I feel happy and positive and energetic (it was the first time I felt like this my whole life) but if I take a too much I get too bouncy and chatty and can't sleep.

When I 'leveled' out on 50mg after 3 months, I started to feel tired again, so I had to up by 12.5mg only but it was a bumpy ride because I'm just stressed out. On a normal mood I wouldve just been fine but now I could just take the extra dose every second day as I have to buy all my meds in advance for the trip to the UK so I really don't have cash to pay for a doc to prescribe sleeping pills. Also, the last thing I can afford now is for her to alter my dose or change her mind. Thats the only reason I used the Seroquel one or two nights to sleep as otherwise I would just lie there the whole night.

I hope that explains what Topa does to bipolar people, well at least to a few bipolar people I personally know.

:h

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

NO! I have not disappeared! HA!

Somehow my weekend ended up being crazy busy again, first with work stuff as I have another three major events on the board for this week and then there was the landscaper guy ….. LOL Next thing I knew it was Monday morning, I was up late, behind in what I needed to accomplish and spent until 10 PM last night trying to get everything done, without complete success. *sigh* SO many details in doing some of these events!

And I continue to struggle with the wine. Dammit. I can’t seem to get myself into any type of social situation and manage to hold it at 2-3 glasses. I pour glasses of water in between, watch the clock and any other nonsense I can think of, but as the evening rolls on, I have once again blown my “goal”. And Sunday night I forgot my evening dose of Topa again.

I remain at 50/100 and flip flop back and forth on if I should go up or down because according to “schedule” I should be increasing, but my appetite loss is so bad. Some days the cravings seem less, and others days they are just as roaring as they were 3 months ago. I feel frustrated and confused but don’t want to give up! The good news is my under cover DR called yesterday and I have an appointment to see him July 19th. Yea! Was funny when the receptionist called and said “Susan?”. I almost said no as it’s not my real name! HA! So I will hold on until then, come clean with him and go from there. I’m not exactly sure how all of this is going to work with using a fake name and all, but hopefully I will get some answers. I think I may have a touch of depression going on and I don’t know if it’s the Topa or the wine of just me. I’ve never taken an AD before. We all know wine is a depressant. I simply don’t know. But some days I also feel so stressed out I am ready to burst… hence more wine. UGH.

Then there are the fun days. Like the flirting Landscaper. HA! Oh my – told you I thought he was young and I couldn’t quite remember what he looked like as I was distracted with phones/work stuff when he had been here. And that we finally talked and so plans were then set for him to come over at 3 on Sunday … with wine from Napa. To discuss the project. *cough* I said I would some food ready. He drive up … I think “nice car”! He gets out .. I think “cute as button!”. LOL So we chat and pour some wine and walk the property and discuss the project in detail and are laughing about this and that and debating a bit about how it all should be done. Great sense of humor and he’s playing with Charlie and I’m thinking “too bad he is so young!”. So we go back in and I put out some food and for hours we just talked and laughed and ate (and drank wine) and it was great. Took Charlie for a walk in the hills, talked a lot about our businesses and dreams – he heard my spa kick on, which it does as it’s on a time to filter each night, and he asks about it. I say yes it’s on, not heating, but he asks if we can use it. *gulp* HA! I ask him if he has a suit with him – yep. LOL So I turn the heater on, we pour more wine ( have now officially blown my goal for sure) and take a spa. He was not being un-gentleman like, but was certainly making it known that he was interested in “more”. I finally asked him how old he was …. 28! FLIP! I suddenly got this image of Ron Howard in the Andy Griffith Show and that just about did it for me. HA! HA! Six pack, hard bod and all – there was NO WAY this was going anywhere!

End of story is I gently let him know that, but also told him I didn’t want him driving down these hills after all the wine we had been drinking. So after the spa, I showed him the guest suite and said I needed to get to bed as I had an early Monday morning. He was very sweet about it all and a nice hug good bye in the morning as I dashed to my computer and the phones. I suspect my project bid will not come out as cheap as it might of could. LOL Oh well … It WAS tempting but this is an attractive young guy who wants to marry, have babies do that whole thing and should not be messing around with a (dare I say it?) COUGAR! HA!

Anyways, THAT is where I have been. That and work. One of the richest men in the world (you would all know the name) owns 2 homes where my shop is at and he is in town. We had a tight time window yesterday when he and family would be out of the houses so we could “refresh” all of the flowers. It’s an insane flash and dash to do, so yesterday was another bit of a stressor. It’s only a few hours and everyone from the carpet people, pool guys, maids, chefs, gardeners, us, etc are all running around like maniacs trying to finish and get out of there before they return. All the while the Property Manager yelling out the count down time until you just want to slap her! LOL

This morning I am taking it a bit slower, but it will be a long one as the next “event” is tomorrow afternoon and then a BIGGIE on Thursday that we have to start set-up on tomorrow night just to get it all done in time.

Hugs to all. Will try and comment to everyone later .....

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, oh it's so nice to be back, I have so much to catch up on, I've been soo busy, my daughters surgery has been put off by the hospital, don't know when it will happen but it will sort out, I need to meet my granddaughter also, and just help out here, with the given situation, my kids need lots of support, that's what moms are for.

So, next on my agenda, I have lots to respond to abou everyone's posts of the last few days and will catch up slowly in the coming days. It is most on my mind to respondto Wildflowers post regarding why she felt that she needed to leave us or at least not visit us as often.

Wilde, I totally support your right to post on any thread that meets your needs but I also support our thread in that it meets our needs and I think if we aren't what you need please don't be hurtful to us. One day you are giving us a lecture about being totally AF and the next day you seem to need us again, and you are always welcome but please give us the same respect. We seem to function really well the way we are and I don't think we want to change our format.

I just finished reading the thread If I Came To MWO Again, I heard about it and after reading it, I was appalled at the ,in my opinion narrow minded views put forth by a few people, pretty much saying that if you are not totally AF you are not in a position to give any advice to other people.

I have never heard such ridiculous stuff and i have seen many other instances on the MYO site of people just being really nasty and hateful and I guess it just shows that there are always some people that will always be mean and hateful as they are just mean and hateful people. I am so happy to say that I have never one time seen any thing like this happen on our thread and this just shows what a wonderful group of people that we have here who post on our thread, we are so blessed.

Tomorrow I will try to start catching up with everyone, I can't tell you what it does for me to chat a litt with you at the end of the day, who knows in what way it uplifts my spirit even tho I am not AF, perhaps it is the link that will help it to happen rather than having me sit alone at night in isolation, thank you my friends.

Love,
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