New here and starting Topa and with a question

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE - so sorry about your going off TOPA. I know that was a tough decision. You look great in your FB photos, if that's any consolation! lol Of course, most of us can't relate to the opposite end of the weight gain/loss spectrum, but I can only imagine. I'm about an inch shorter than you maybe, and my babelicious weight is about 130 - 135...15-20 lbs lower than where I am right now. I'm feeling wistful for my skinnier days and hope I can get there again...am trying!! But for you to be that thin at 5'9"...shit girl, have you looked into modeling??!! Seriously? Agencies need ppl of all ages to look like they're having a blast eating out, washing clothes, walking in weird shoes...I know you're super busy, but it might be fun! I was recruited for it once...but it was an agency that rejected my daughter so I had to nix it.

Anyway - soooooooooooo sorry for your struggle and hope the new DR can offer help. I think the landscaper guy is just broke. He doesn't want to spend the money, period, the end. It's not you - it's his cash flow. Try an experiment where you offer to pay vs getting him to...and just see.

DZ - excited for you!! Keep us posted.
Sunny - again, glad you're back. You are the moderator of this thread pretty much & I, for one, missed you!
Space - always LOVE reading your posts.

Hell, I love reading everyone's posts, it;s just so hard to comment on everything! DZ, I really found your thoughts on AB really interesting. I seriously thought about it, but it scares the bejeezuz outta me. Seriously...I guess you planned to be off it when the farewell party happened. I just ~ UGH ~ can't picture the threat of it. Scares me!!

YAY - tomorrow is the last day of summer school this week...then only 4 days next week. I am sooooooooooooo sick of half of these kids. It's pitiful these losers are dragging the system down. Am doing some July 4th -themed lessons these 2 days...these kids could care less. They have such a sense of entitlement. Rude, lazy & stupid are the majority in summer school...and mostly hispanic. It pisses me off to no end to hear their stories...parents hard-workers who came here legally so that their kids would have opportunities. These spawn are soooooooooooooooooo freaking LAZY, indifferent, full of haughtiness, rude to their elders...ugh, I could go on & on.

Weird - shaped head guy is calling...Think I'll take it! LOL - I'll be in touch :-))

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE, the GABA, definitely keeps my appetite up, I gained 20 lbs after starting taking it and decided it is worth it because it helps with my arthritis pain so much. Still trying to find time to post a real post, so much family stuff going on, I have time to read and not much else, love you guys. WTE, good decision on the Landscape guy!!!

Play

Pictures are coming via WTE

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks WTE, no problem on the order, I have a few more, I went to one of my favorite markets this morning to buy chicken for my daughter and took some Fotos of the flowers, I hope to take some beach Fotos soon.

Dizz sure hope you ticket comes thru ok, in fact you may be there by now, YAY.

Space, don't stress about the topa, you are adjusting to it and that is just fine, you are doing great.

Play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE, you may not leave this thread, topa or not!!!

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space, be sure to check your PM.

Play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning everyone - or afternoon or night where ever you might be......

how is everyone today? I have just come in from watering and also picked some zuchinni (courgettes, Space) some tomatoes, some green peppers, and also pulled up my beets (beetroot, space) which I plain on pickling sometime in the next day or two. The weather had got to the beets and they were not doing well at all, so I just pulled them all. now I have to find something else to plant in this heat for this area.....

ANYWAY - I am off shopping today with my daughter. I HATE, LOATHE and DETEST shopping with a passion but she and her b/f have split up and she is off so I said I would go with her - then we are going swimming. I need some tops for work anyway so who knows - I might even find something.

Play - loved the pics - thanks WTE for posting them - and yes Play we would love it if you can eventually find time from your grandmotherly stuff to post a long post - I know you must be really busy though with a baby and a five year old!! I do not envy you at all - LOL. You are sounding good which is really nice to hear.....

Houtx - I quite understand how you feel about the children of today - gosh, I sound like my parents - but they don't have any respect at all for their elders. I see it in the store all the time and it drives me crazy - they are so bad mannered - but then that seems to be the way that their parents are bringing them up - here anyway. I am pleased for you that you are nearly finished with summer school. Did you go out with flat head guy or is is far away again? I laughed at space's suggestion that he wear a hat - also that HE hasn't seen the back of his head - poor guy - I am sure that he knows what it is like!!

Space - yes, you do have a way with words and always make me laugh whether intentional or not. I too remember having the boy with his finger stuck in the dyke drummed into me too - what was it about english schools and that story???? LOL Glad you are feeling okay on the topa too....

I am curious - the gabapentin that you are all on about - that is the RX form right? not the gaba supplement..... I have some of the RX that I have been taking one 300mg every morning when i was so down - I acquired them - and they did seem to help.

WTE - can't remember now without looking back but someone suggested cutting the topa dose and starting on the gaba - I agree you are way too underweight for your height - I mean, people tell me I am skinny - I always correct them and tell them I am slim - but yes, at your height and weight you must look gaunt. So I totally understand where you are coming from. And also if your body doesn't want to eat, it DOESN'T want to eat!!!

I am really curious as to what youre doctor says when you see him - don't you have to fill out forms with your SSN on it and everything? will you just not fill those out? Or put a fake one? You know the receptionist is going to want you to fill everything in..... I don't blame you at all for doing it this way though...... I understand the insurance over here and we are lucky enough that ours doesn't matter what is on it.

Diz - tomorrow is the day!! I so hope that the money is sorted - is it? we are all waiting to find out you know!! Also if you go to the cat farm - that will be a fun day - even better if you know your ticket is sorted! I so hope your mum gets her stuff sorted so you can go on a happy note. Thinking of you and sending hugs :l:l

Anyway I suppose I need to get changed and get ready to go.... shopping. It might be okay - my daughter and I always have fun together so that will be nice. And I shall look forward to the swimming later too. the heat is still ridiculous but looks as if it is breaking next week when the temps come down to a cool 85-90. Anything is better than these 100-105 temps.

Back later - love and hugs to all,

Love, sun XX

P.S. WTE is NOT leaving this thread even if she ISN'T on Topa - are you WTE ??????

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All ….

Play and Space: Not sure why this new DR would prescribe GABA as it looks to me to be for seizures and pain (?) In trying to learn more about it, it also sounds like it can cause depression? Last thing is, it contains lactose and I am lactose intolerant. *sigh*

Does it help with AL cravings?

I’m just going o put it all out there with this new DR and see what he as to say. I have never taken an AD before, but I sure feel funky of late! HA! I have nothing to lose but a few bucks on seeing him. My GF loves him and has been seeing him for years. Weird seeing someone under a fake name!

Houtx: As always, you crack me up! Modeling? Been there, done that! Remember, I was married to the head photographer for Macys – so you can guess how we met. HA!

And I sure don’t feel very attractive at this weight! For me it is also about 135 or so that feels right. Right now I feel like I have skin hanging off of me that needs “filling up”. LOL

Sun: I am like you in that I HATE shopping. But you will have fun spending the time with your daughter – have a great afternoon!

As for the new DR, I am just going to put down fake everything. They have my cell phone number which they can’t trace. For my address they have my PO Box. And I will pay in cash. The funniest part was when they called to confirm my appointment and asked for “Susan”. I ALMOST told them they had the wrong number. HA!

As for Landscaper – just not sure what to think but also not going to give him too much thought. Space, you could be totally right and that was kind of the vibe I got the other evening – like I was just his play toy. So he may be just a prick. HA!

Houtx, you could be right too in that he is broke, but it doesn’t feel like that. When I asked him about going away to the resort, I made it clear it was my treat (I think!) – at last the stay part of it. But then there are also meals, etc.

He TXT me midafternoon yesterday just to ask me about my day. Few TXT back and forth and he was still one a jobsite and pretty much just left it at that. No suggestions of getting together or anything and I didn’t hear anything from him last evening. I think he is seriously a workaholic more than anything. Whatever ….. still need to see him about projects here. Main one being they ripped out my front lawn the other day and sprayed it so no weeds would grow back. So kind of need to finish that job up! LOL May have a birthday thing up here in August and it’s not too attractive having nothing but dirt!

Did get a nice phone call from an old “Match romance” a few days ago and then spoke with him yesterday about plans for the 4th of July. He’s the guy that is now my ski buddy and owns the house up in Mammoth (where I broke my collar bone). We still see each other now and again but only as pals – so all good. And he has invited me to a party for the 4th. Yikes – that’s tomorrow already!

My biggest concern was Charlie and how he would be with fireworks, no matter where we were at. I had planned on staying home and just closing down the house, TV on, etc and see how he does. I adopted him last September so I have no clue how he reacts to such noises. Someone shot off a gun up here a few weeks ago late at night and he was pretty spooked about it.

But my friend asked the hostess if it was OK if I brought Charlie with me and she said it was fine. They live in a pretty remote area as well so we won’t be close to any of the large fireworks shows that happen. And if worse comes to worse, he agreed we can leave at any time if I need to bring Charlie home. So it should make for a nice day ….

Feels weird writing on my chart: Topa 0/0. UGH. What else is out there??? Space, I also appreciate your comments on trying AB. But I think I may be a different type of drinker than you in that I never binge drink. But I do sip along daily and the thought of not being able to have a glass of wine for 4-5 days really does scare me. If I could get the cravings back under control like I had them for a while, I would more game to try it. I am NOT good at white knuckling and once took a med after surgery and was told “DO NOT DRINK AL WITH THIS OR YOU WILL GET SICK. Stupid me, I caved and DID have a small glass of wine only to get so bloody sick I thought I was going to die.

I’ve considered TSM again, but also there I now think it works for people that tend to binge and then have runs of AF days. While I certainly cut down a bit the year I was trying Nal, I never came close to seeing the success so many have on that program.

For anyone else reading this and considering Topa, I say go for it. It works – at least it did for me. I HATE being in that 16% that suffer severe weight loss. And while I first considered just cutting my dose back, like Sun, I think my dose needs to be where it was (or higher) for it to be effective for me. It’s almost as if I build up a bit of tolerance to it and need to move up when I can start seeing my numbers (in drinking) starting to climb. So I was at 50/100 and really felt I was in a place that I should go a touch higher.

Yesterday was not a great one drinking wise and I think I am just having a pity party over all the chit that has come down the tubes of recent. Needing to boot “buddy” out of my life and feeling pretty bitter towards him. Death of my friend and all that entailed. Having a lot of self-doubt in general and it feeling worse with this Landscaper guy thing. Running into HB – and HIM telling me how skinny I looked. Asshole. And now losing my grip on Topa. Maybe I am just simply depressed and that needs to be addressed with the new DR.

The upside of life is that my “story” seems to be working and Charlie I THINK is safe. If anything was going to happen (negative wise), I think it would have already happened. One spot of stress reduced a bit.

So anyways … I’m not going anywhere. I was feeling SO GREAT beginning to be in control again. I MUST find a way out of this mess …

Love and Hugs to All.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Why o Why have I got no time for here, I so desparately want to read what you sun, and you wye wrote properly and tried to speed read and its no good. I will have to start again. I also feel like crying I am not actually going to cry but WTH just because Ive got something cooking and cant read properly. Be back in a bit.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

LOL Space !!!! back later all - have had a great day - will reply later,

hugs, sun XXX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OK I have got my emotions back under control, have had something to eat and will be going to bed soon to listen to a cd. Now I have forgotten all I wanted to say damn, Oh yes the gabapentin I take is prescribed for siezures and pain, but I do think it helps with my mood and maybe cravings a bit, since I have been taking it regularly I havent been on a bender. I do understand why you dont want to take AB WTE I feel the same about it a lot of the time and now only take it occasionaly if I think my drinking is likely to get out of control and I need to reel myself in.

Play I loved the photos, my youngest son is studiying Guadi (sp?) in school and I have been helping him with his homework and I got a shock when I saw the gecko, I thought why is joes homework on here?

I decided to take the 25mg a day, I know I will run out before my new ones get here but at least I will have a chance of seeing if it starts working at all. Today tho I have been starving and eating like I dont know what, this isnt fair why cant we shuffle fat around between us and all be happy, I have got some to spare and WTE wants some so I could just give it to her,hook us up with tubes, in fact Im amazed some surgeon over there isnt already doing this :H

Oh and by the way Im 50 on Sunday, so I will be all grown up Im going out for a meal with my family on Saturday and hoping to get tea and toast in bed sunday morning so I am looking forward to it. I was thinking of having a party but changed my mind too much hassle.

Thanks for the translations Sun:H I keep on wanting to ask you how you come to be living in America, it seems so exciting for someone to move all that way so please tell me.

Dizzy, only days to go, enjoy the cat park

Everyone:l:h

Edit: Just noticed a misunderstanding I may have put, gabapentin is prescribed to me for headaches (migranes), but is also for seizures but I dont have seizures

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space - we are compadres & simpatico in birthdays! Yours is Sunday, I'm turning 59 on Thursday!! YAY Mine falls the day after our big 4th of July Independence Day celebration...I have absolutely NO plans. It's ok - I'll putz around w/ my daughter who is sad over the mutual break-up w/ her boyfriend. I'm fine & happy about my b'day. I am not fine about my drinking really...need to order another introductory dose of TOPA, but not really convinced it will work even this 2nd time around.

WTE - so sorry for your struggles! UGH -

I texted the "Man w/ No Head Curvature" (MWNHC??) asking about his weekend plans...extending the opportunity to get together. I was thinking I need to relax and just see what happens. Maybe we could get to know each other, do things...he lives an hour away, so like he suggested, just see... He's not a big texter, so he called me, we talked (mostly him about his ne'er-do-well son)...then when I offered the fact I was calling to open up the opportunity again, he basically said : "We are not going to work. You are just going to retreat into your shell again when anything happens..."

I was thinking, "Like NOW??!!" Sheesh - it really threw me for a loop. BAM! Done! I couldn't fucking believe it. Damn men!! I don't get it!!

He is one man who really probed and questioned me... I liked him in spite of my pettiness...and he made me think he wanted to move along with me too. He left it with: "the ball is in your court"...then he shuts me down!! I was so f'ing pissed and hurt. Fuck men. Fuck him. I was soooooo stunned.

Oh well - Independence Day!! What will be, will be ~ I turn 59 on Friday and am doing & looking well for someone in this age range (55 - 65?? lol) I think so!! Onward & upward!
Hope everyone has a happy 4th of July!!

XO

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, the GABA is th RX kind, not the supplement.

Houtx, you crack me up about your flat head guy. My daughter once had the perfect guy, even loved him, but he was too tall and she broke up with him, she is now older and wiser.

Dizz, hope you are on your way.

Space, HBday.

Some more pictures coming WTE, just a couple, still need to ake beach pics.

Play

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

There is so much I want to comment on but I just don't have the time. Yesterday was a complete nightmare and I'm only flying tomorrow, and this ticket is much more expensive. WTE, Gabapentin actually helps relieve depression for lots of people and there are quite a few studies that shows it relieving cravings. Just thought of it as you have done Nal and I'm not a huge Bac fan. Have you tried Bac?

Exciting about the guy inviting you, seems you're on a roll!

Space, you really made me laugh at the weird head-shaped guy having to wear a hat or not having ever seen the back of his head. 50 is quite a big milestone, I hope I'll be online to wish you happy happy.

Sorry Houtx though, perhaps he just realised that you aren't as much into him and he's scared of getting hurt again. Happy birthday for tomorrow.

Hi Sun and Play :l

The big cat farm was lovely but I was out all day and now have a huge headache from no sleep last night (the stress and leak above my bed may have something to do with it)

I may be very quiet for the next couple of days but I'll be reading on my phone (I cant post from there) but as soon as bf gets back to work (Monday or Tuesday) or perhaps earlier I promise to write a loooooong post to bring you up to speed.

Flight is tomorrow at 6pm but brother is off work and people keep dropping by so I don't really have much time to myself.

Lots of hugs and love.

Wish me luck.

:h

PS: Guess what, bf said he is organising me an allotment! He is just the best bf ever!

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Happy 4th!

Morning all..

Oh Diz! Have a fantastic trip! I think I am almost as excited as you are. HA!

I’ll ask the DR about the Gaba. And no, I have never tried Bac. I’ve had a few friends here (formally TSM buddies) that tried Bac and it was REALLY scary for them. I seem to be pretty sensitive to a lot of drugs. I actually ordered it at one point and in the drawer it still sits. Scares me.

Space: What dosage of Gaba do you take. And if you don’t mind me asking, your weight? I know, I know – you NEVER ask someone that, but I feel like a toothpick right now and so don’t want to overdo any dosages on anything. Remember, other than my HRT patch, I take nothing now that Topa is out of my life. Not even aspirin.

I wish you lived stateside and I could send you my Topa! And yes! Wish some damn DR figure out how to “tube transfer” some weight around here! HA! You crack me up!

Wow – the big 50! Fun! Chit, Houtx and I are ramping up closer to 60 (I will be 58 in August) so you are still a puppy! LOL So far I have for the most part loved my 50s. What is weird for me is that as I get older, my head still seems the same and in my mind I am about 35 or so. HA! Then I get all pissy (translation: upset lol) when I can’t ski like I used to or don’t have the same stamina on a mountain climb, etc.

Am I correct in thinking that the word “pissed” means drunk in England? I think my niece told me that when I was totally confusing her saying I was pissed off about something. Also. What is your word for napkin? I just remember cracking up when she told me something about the use of that word. Nappy? Diaper? Something funny – but not having to do with fine dining. LOL

Houtx: MWNHC HA! HA! I’m SO sorry he turned out to be such a prick (in Space’s word) but the acronym still cracks me up.

I bet he just really felt your hesitation and kept noodling on it. I (we) forget how insecure many men really are. I can only imagine how stunned you were. I predict you will get another contact from him. To me – he sounds scared of being hurt by you. How did you end the conversation? The bastards!

And Chica, you look HOT. I see those FB pics and can’t believe you are about to turn 59! Me – I wanna Photoshop my pics B4 my GFs post them! HA!

And Happy 4th!

Play: Ready to post when you can send! You must really have your hands full. I hope you are some play time as well and bunches of smiles along the way.

Sun: How’s it hanging? I am jealous when you talk about your veggie garden as the summer has just seemed to be racing by me. Mine is still a bit of a mess, but at this point I just don’t have the energy (or interest) to do much about it.

And Happy 4th of July to everyone else in this crazy country! I am just going to chill for the day until it’s time to dress and head out with Charlie for party. May even take a nap as I was up a bit late last night.

Yes, Landscaper again. HA! Houtx, you were wrong, the guy is not broke. Space, not sure he is a prick as we had some real honest conversations last night. But he IS VERY self-conscious of how young he is and looks.

Going back to the 40-something gal, he confessed to no public displays of affection with her when out. It feels creepy as to what someone would think – like holding hands with your son. HA! So I am kind of over that whole issue and he is just who he is. Lots of good talk about there being no future, and yet I enjoy the hell out of his company. And when I point blank ask him why he was hanging out with me – I pretty much got the same response. He makes me laugh. He’s bright and I enjoy debating with him - all in fun.

Houtx, I say he is not broke because he had asked me about my favorite wine a bit ago. My VERY fav chard is over $100 a bottle. And so yesterday when he called, said he as in the mood for a good steak – he showed up with filet mignons, tons of veggies, 4 big bottles of juices he knows I like, a couple of nice red wines … and a bottle of my fav wine. Yikes! So, my little young stud is not poor. LOL

Whatever. We had fun last night and I had no other plans. It’s a weird week with this holiday falling mid-week. Back to work in the morning and yet it feels like it should be the weekend because the shop is closed. He is off working again today and I now understand better why he works so hard and so much. I guess at his age I was doing exactly the same thing – workaholic. And like he said, I am now at the age that I can sit back a bit more and enjoy what I worked so hard for so many years. Still work hard – but I certainly can have play days when I want. Just keeping my heart out of it. I seem to collect “men friends” like some people collect old stamps. LOL

Ticking off the days until I see the new DR on the 19th. Today I feel more upbeat – thank goodness! And I have no choice but to stay on my toes this evening at this party as I am the one driving … so all good. And hopefully I feel like eating TONS of food! HA!

Hugs to all ……see ya around campus. =)

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

More Pics From Play!

"One of my Favorite Markets"

[img][/IMG]

"Favorite Market"
[img][/IMG]