New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OMG - now the dogs are eating the red peppers !!!!! Not hot ones - just regular red peppers but what is with my dogs???????

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Congrats sun on getting Celexa!!:thumbs: thats wonderful! As for your dogs, maybe they decided to go vegan......:H:H:H:H

Houtx nice to meet you... dont worry about your ex, i have one of those.... they just like to do that. we can go into that later... lol.

So hubby came home and saw that i had the prosecco chilling in the fridge, that i hid from myself, and he smiled and laughed and asked me if i had fun looking high up in the closets for it..... so he did hide another one. LMAO!!!! I showed him where i found it, and he laughed and wouldnt tell me where he hid the other one. Silly man! I only go buy more when i want to as the store is a half a block away!! This way when i do stop drinking i have the beginning of a nice cellar going on!! My mother in law does come over to babysit though, and since this was her house before, she may go into any cabinet or closet looking for whatever. What will she think when she comes across a bottle of prosecco in the sheets or perhaps the grey goose hidden in another cabinet? Other various cooking wines are hidden throughout the house.... a kind of respect i give my husband... i just leave them there..... LMAO..... really?? I am honestly not that bad! After all, he has graciously tollerated me since we met. This was my idea, but it has taken some time to get the plan into effect. I finally got my topa, and i am not wanting to jump off the balcony anymore!! (a brief shout out to you Hou) I know how it feels... My doc gave me effexor, which has helped sooo much!! Even despite the fact i have still been drinking.
Last night i was not feeling it to drink. I think its because of the supplements, certainly not because of the topa on the first day. I might also attribute it to my getting interested in a series i just bought, the tudors, which might have been marketed in america under a different name. I still did drink though, just not as much. i ended up drinking around a bottle, but didnt finish my bottle of prosecco. I had no desire. I did though drink all of my supplements in the late afternoon. I think that may have curbed my cravings. But in the end, i wanted to be able to sleep, and avoid the night sweats i have had on nights when i drink two glasses. Plus, those nights that i only drink 2 glasses are sometimes in succession, but sometimes followed by a total binge..... dont ever want to do that again. This is something that i believe to get success we need to have a plan... i was a bit too gungho in the beginning. I am choosing to give myself time to taper down, and also to let the topa do its work. I know the effexor has been helping ALOT!!!!
Today I have had alot of energy. Cleaning things i dont normally look at. Taking thinks apart and vaccumming everything!
Ok, I better get back to it... hope you all are well, and take care!! Hugs and love to all!! XXOO

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning Wu !

you sound very positive today and you sound as if you have more of a plan - which is good. I HAD to have a plan. You two do make me laugh though with the hiding of your bottles :H:H I know what you mean about the night sweats when you cut down drastically - I am not sure that can be avoided if you do that, so slowly cutting down is better - I used to find I got night sweats if i had too much! So it hit me either way. I am now on a pretty happy medium where I try to stick to two. Guinness is my drink of choice and yesterday I met with hubs (it was his day off) after my docs appt and we had a drink, then when we came home I had two so ended up with three yesterday but they were all earlier in the day. My last one was about 6.00. I didn't want another - must admit I did think about it but ended up with water instead.

With your supps, you might want to try L-Glut - when i had decided to quit, it really helped me - it is a powder (or you can get it in tablet but I found powder much more effective) that you buy in body building places. Take 2 tsps in a small amount of water three or so times a day - it is amazing the way it stops the cravings. It is tasteless and you can also just put it under your tongue but it would half choke me.

Yes, we did (do) have the Tudors here - I remember my daughter watching it and I think hubs did too. How long have you two been married if you don't mind me being nosy? And I know you have an older daughter - but must have a young one too if M-I-l comes to baby sit.

SO glad that you have energy today - I do too - I am wondering if the lexapro was giving me a draggy feeling as I don't have that this morning. Took the celexa last night instead.

Re the celexa everyone - I just explained to her how the Lexapro was making me feel - an all pervading sense of flat, and that the celexa gave me a spark - and asked if we could try it for the 2 months etc., and she said that we could do it that way. Told her I was feeling so miserable and that folks at work had noticed etc., and she was really nice for once. Told me that if I carried on feeling like this to call and that they would get me in and that if I had said this on the phone they would have got me in sooner - WTH ???????? I couldn't even get her to give me a prescription when I was out, let alone get me in......... but I was a good girl and kept my mouth shut.

Wu - you said that you live in a European country - which one? Is it for hubs work that you are back and forth between NY and where you live? Don't feel you have to tell me anything - I am just naturally nosy - LOL. I am from England, living here in USA and have lived here for 30 years.

Oh - my dogs and the red peppers - if you have read back, you will see that they steal tomatoes off my tomato plants, so it was with amazement that I saw them with red peppers yesterday! I am a veggie and someone at work said that all they know is vegetables - LOL I do NOT have enough red peppers for them to help themselves to those.

Anyway - hope to see some of the others posting sometime - I think we are all going through stuff right now but hopefully it will pick up here again.

love and hugs,

Sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone

Sorry that I?ve been quiet, I?ve just not been coping very well the last couple of days. Well, bf and I did cut down for two nights but other than that its been too much drinking all the time which leads to me being hung over and feeling pretty much useless most of the day. I know its a difficult time for me and I should perhaps cut myself some slack but I?m just so disappointed in myself that today is such a nice and sunny day and I spent it in bed... pretty much like I did the last two days, then I get up at 4 and clean the place up and get some stuff done as bf only gets home by about 6 or 7.

Things are going well with us and he is different than me in that he will never drink during the day and he doesn?t have the same sense of desperation as I have (for me its all or nothing) and I?m just upset that I can?t have it both ways. I know I?ve been through this and I know I?m an alcoholic and I should just get over it but its so difficult at times like these.

So the plan is tonight I?m only allowed a couple of beers (no wine), and tomorrow I?m going back to my normal dose of Topa (I cut back as I wanted a few weeks of ?normal? drinking) I have to start snapping back as of now as I have a long overdue job to finish tomorrow and half of Friday. It seems my 50mg dose no longer works but 62.5mg will mean that while I will have much reduced cravings I will not be able to drink without becoming sleepy and moany... Anyway we?ll see what happens over the weekend but I take Antabuse on Monday and Tuesday and at least take 5 days off to give my body a break. That way I will stop feeling so damn guilty about not even trying to explore my lovely new home town or figuring out ways to keep busy except for holing up in this tiny flat when I?m used to a garden and animals.

I would?ve posted earlier but I?m hardly speaking to anyone as I guess except for the couple of hours at night where I have fun cooking dinner or going out with bf I?ve just been really miserable.

We did go to the Windsor Ascot races on Monday and I won 70 quid on my first ever horse bet. Best thing is I only bet 5 quid on an outside horse and it really pissed off my bf?s horsey friends Anyway it was a lovely day as we got to dress up and take a river taxi down. I?m just still getting used to walking so much, especially as I was wearing heels. And we took this bottle of champagne along and the damned thing exploded in my bag! Now my camera has stopped working. I had to go to the bathroom and came back complaining how everything ? even my money stinks of champagne. Its bf?s new way of teasing me, he says I?m so lucky at the races I started complaining that my money stank of champagne

Like I said he is really sweet, it is I who have to get a grip and find a way to get out of this AL induced depression. As we get more used to each other I will also feel less anxious around him and more comfortable with just saying no to AL. I always knew this was going to be the difficult part of adjusting and its not like he?s forcing me to drink, I have to figure out what works best for me.

Hi Wu ? :welcome: to our group. In some ways I?m jealous of your husband hiding AL from you. I know it may sound strange but I used to share a cottage with my brother and we got to the point where he would hide booze from me. I would go on long AL free stints and whenever I would break it for a week or two he would grin and bear it but he would never support or encourage it. Glad your Topa arrived! I?m happy the Effexor is working for you, it has been linked to increased AL cravings for some people, so perhaps just keep a diary of cravings etc. so you can rule that out. Don?t want to be a wet blanket but I have seen this happen to some people BUT NOT ALL, so please don?t worry about it too much.

Spaceng>, yes the prices at Waitrose scare the hell out of me so I did a large online Tesco shop and the nearest town is only a 2 quid return ticket away, so once I sort myself out I should actually rather pay that to go over for a weekly shop. The Topa made me REALLY thirsty in the beginning but it went away after a while, I think its good standard to always keep your fluids up while on it anyway because its tough on your kidneys.

Play, yes girls only sounds good to me. Thats really good news about your daughter. Enjoy your last few days in Spain.

Hi Meggie, could you start on just the 25mg of Topa in the afternoon and titrate up slower?

Houtx, feel a bit like you at the moment, staying up late, sleeping in, foggy mornings and feelings of guilt. I know the Topa will help though... just not always sure I want the help. *sigh* what a bitch AL is. Sorry your ex is being such a bastard.

Sun ? what strange doggies you have. LOL. Well done for standing up for yourself and getting the Celexa. Whoohoo! So happy for you.

WTE - where are you? :l

Lots of hugs and love to everyone,
:h

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, once again I am LONG overdue posting!

You know how you just get in a funk and I feel bad sometimes sharing ? when I guess it really is when I should? I feel like I am holding my breath until this DR apt on Monday that was set back. UGH.

Having to stop the Topa with the weight loss I guess was just the camels straw. Back to my old nonsense of sipping 2 bottles of wine a day.

Have a CRAZY next few days at the shop with parties and a big client. Then weekend off and then the ?under cover? DR.

My love and hugs to all of you. I PROMISE to post again soon as I get my head screwed back on right! HA! SOOOO much I want to comment on!

WU: Welcome! I am not normally this quiet but will catch up with you soon?.


WTE & Charlie =)

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sunny - sounds like you are doing well & glad you got the Celexa!! gawd, what a pain with the "misunderstanding" from your DR. You took the high road & I'm sure the DR knew that. Funny about your dogs & the veggies!

Wu - keep telling us stories, we love them. Best of luck w/ your plan & TOPA!

DZ - so good to hear from you! Glad things are pretty ok w/ your bf & that he is being sweet. I would think it would be THE most difficult thing in the world to make the move you have, all the changes, and not be expected to be a bit depressed/hungover/weirded out with everything...not to mention the time change, right?! Everyone talks about a "plan"...mine is teensy: I try to plan on getting out of bed before 10 a.m. everyday! Isn't that sick?! Today I started getting some texts from a lovely man friend/I wish he were my permanent lover...at 7:45. That lasted about 10 minutes before he was Hi Ho-ing and I was back off to Neverland. 9:30 the cats woke me again and I threw the covers off and went from bed to my chair here! LOL

You, DZ, have a better plan than I!! Indulge for now and hang in there. I like your plans for next week - you are such a strong, driven woman - you can do whatever you set your mind to!!

And as I write that, the reality is we ALL do!! Taking AB scares the absolute shit out of me...but I would like to hear more about the SEs, the warnings, etc. I have considered it just b/c I know I'd be so freaking scared of violent vomitting, I wouldn't drink - I guess that's what you & Space feel too?? And countless others...very curious.

Anyway, I'm off to New Orleans Sat - Tues coming up & looking forward to it! I'll probably be on before I go - hope all else is fine :-))

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OK, before anyone gets worried I just wanted to add that I only had two beers last night (bf had none) and that I feel much better today.

Its really hot here in London at the moment , right in time for the Olympics and the rowing will be taking place on our doorstep (well I think it will be on the Thames between Windsor and Slough) I'm so used to having a draft as in windows on both sides of the cottage that this humidity is getting to me but then bf did buy us a very cool retro fan

I did pop 62.5mg of crushed Topa this morning as soon as I woke up (for quicker release into the blood stream). I'm not used to having alcohol in the house that I have to ignore but the higher dose will do the trick if I stick to it for a couple of days.

I am one of the unfortunate ones that when my Topa dose is not correct I start having AL thoughts from the moment I wake up. But for someone who works from home thats awful as it means that its very easy to just stop working from 2pm onwards and I need money right now. Don't get me wrong, bf has been very generous but I do feel like I have to prove myself and get stuck in and I hate relying on someone else for money. At the moment I just have crappy jobs coming in, so I'm waiting for something cool to come in. I know my radio ad jobs should be starting soon.

You also having some sun, Space? You deserve some in the grey and flooded North.

Good luck WTE, thinking of you. :l

You are right, Houtx, I'm being too hard on myself.

Antabuse doesn't give me any SE's unless I take it too soon after my last drink (all I have to do is taper down a bit and then take it the next morning, not wait days as other people say) If I for example have two bottles of wine and then take an AB in the morning all that will happen is I get a runny tummy, nothing too bad. The thing is it will make you really sick if you drink on it but you will have to be really silly to let that happen as it happens very gradually. I'd like to think we are all rational people here.

So you know you are on this drug that will make you ill when you drink and for example you have a glass of wine. Having a wine spritzer is a better idea, the lower the alcohol content the less wicked the onslaught of the AB. Now this is where you have to stop and wait if you'd like to figure out how much AB is in your system as sometimes you are waiting for it to leave your body or there are times you (well I) feel like testing it.

About 10-30 minutes later your face will start turning red, as will any scar tissue on your body, your heart will start beating faster, you will in fact start to feel like you are having a bad hangover, as that is what AB does to some extent if I remember correctly. So at this stage this is all still managable but embarassing if you are in public as people will ask you why your face is so red, if you are having an allergic reaction etc. At this point any sane person will accept defeat, have lots of water and decide to rather wait out the AB than to continue down this road. Because you will KNOW that having another drink will make your face even more red, give you a worse headache, give you worse palpitations. Th one thing it will NOT do is make you feel relaxed or good. So I think to get really ill on AB you have to ignore shit loads of warning signals, its not like you'll have one glass and end up in hospital. My guess is you'll have to down a bottle or something like that but even though we are problem drinkers as I've said, I'd like to believe even we can accept defeat when the nasty AB starts kicking in.

Thats why I said, the first time I was on it, I was really scared. And the second time slightly so. And now its my joint best frienemy up there with AL, as I know exactly what it'll do to me and when. It is a tool I choose to use and it will always do the same thing to me. I respect it but there is no reason for me to fear it as I know what will happen when and why. OK, I have to add that this is MY experience with AB but except for the first day now when I'm still withdrawing a bit, its my ally as it just takes away the choice of whether I should drink or not.

Lots of love to all from a very Sunny Windsor

:h

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun......I live in Switzerland and Las Vegas. My husband is Swiss as am I but i grew up in America. We have been together for 5 years, and have a 4 year old daughter. My second husband was swiss as well which is how i ended up here... lol... i guess its kind of a curse. I have five children all together, a 25 year old, and a soon to be 24 year old from my first marriage, a 16 and and 18 year old from my second marriage, and my four year old from the love of my life, my third marriage.
Huny buny brought me my blender last night! and plenty of fruits, and jougurts!!! horray!!! I only had to threaten him to mix my all one in prosecco, but its ok.... he smiled, and laughed, but wouldnt tell me where the other bottle is hidden. I am starting to get a vision of MIL opening a closet and getting buried in bottles..... LMAO..... and where in the world are our wonderful reds???

Dizzy......Thanks for letting me know. something definately to watch out for. I really wasnt aware of that one, and hopefully it wont be the case for me. Perhaps thats why i was finding that in the beginning when i tried to limit myself to just two glasses, i would have between one and five good days, and then a total bad day. bad as in worse than ever. should i notice a trend there, i guess i will have to stop.... gggrrrr!!

WTE......come on and post!!

Houtx......I am a bit jealous of you trip to New Orleans..... sounds like fun!! One of the best cities in the US........ then again, Houston is really nice too. I almost moved there instead of Vegas, but the casinos won in the end...... and i guess being able to buy wine 24 hours a day. how shallow is that? It may have had something to do with the real estate market as well.

I go back to vegas when i get homesick. when i cant take it over here anymore. when i get too depressed. I live in a really small city where everyone knows everyone else. if they dont know you, they know someone who knows you...... and they talk talk talk. My husband didnt like living in America, so he lives here in Switzerland and works here. We tried living in America 2 and a half years ago, bought and apartment, shipped everything over there, and then he wanted to come back here to "work a little". It was never a decision to come back here, just a meantime thing. We were staying in his parents apartment, but they also have a house in another town, so they kind of abandoned the apartment...... so now its sort of ours. I guess.......

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wu, I wasn't sure if I should mention that one to you. Because, being problem drinkers, its easy for us to blame just about everything. If the meds are making you feel better please keep a diary and consider the pros and cons (and your imagination i.e. placebo effect as in perhaps if I didn't tell you, you would not have felt the same way kind of thing)

See, my dad used to be the kind of man who had two glasses of wine with his Sunday lunch. A bottle of wine would have lasted two weeks in our house. Then when he started Venlor, which is Generic Effexor, which is another name for what you take, he now drinks a lot and easily polishes off a bottle of red whenever my mother allows him to. I say allows as he is on strong meds so my mom tries to keep him away from too much AL. I would not say he is an alcoholic but I would say that he is now a much more serious drinker than he used to be.

My mom on the other hand takes the same med and she still has her half a glass of wine at social occasions and it has never had an effect on her. It may be that it only has an effect on certain people with inherent problem drinking genes. You can google "Effexor alcohol cravings" though, there is quite a bit of speculation going on over it.

I can imagine you getting homesick. I'm homesick and England is not even that different to South Africa. Bf wants to ultimately move to Germany but I said perhaps later, although I have German ancestry, I'm not sure I'm quite ready for the culture shock yet. Oh, and learning German LOL

:l

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thank you soo much for explaining it to me. I did google it, and saw alot of discussion about it, in both directions. so I guess we shall see. Ironically today I am not having the itch, not at all. I did go and get my couple of cans of prosecco, poured myself one, and it tastes funny.... and flat.... uuuugghhh. who knew that not liking my beloved prosecco would be this easy. Take some topa, and anything with bubbles doesnt taste good... although i still like cola zero. strange. I told my husband a couple of days ago that i might turn into a spaced out freak with my new medication, and he said, well I am used to that!! I am still laughing about it! I dont really feel spacey yet, though I did on the first day. Maybe I am used to being hungover... lol!!

As far as being homesick in the UK, that I can imagine. I have friends here from South Africa, and they are homesick too. Not sure moving to Germany will help either. You can move here instead!! If you have to learn German anyway, get used to a different culture, you may as well move here. We are more fun than the Germans anyway.... lol! Ok, off for awhile to cook... hope everyone is having a wonderful day!!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I just have to post quick, sorry but I havent had time to read right through I will try to do that later, just wanted to say Hi to everyone really and to let you all know that I have come off the topa, I had a freak out the other night when I had pain in my right eye, this was the se I was so terrified of, I tried to ignore it thinking that I was imagining it but it just stayed and after giving it more thought I decided that I couldnt carry on with the topa right now, which is crap because I was feeling pretty good on it.

Ive got to go now Ive got loads to do before my sons 13th birthday on saturday, I have been taking AB this past week to make sure Im sober and not hung over for it so Im looking forward to it for him

xx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

hey everyone - got in from work early today.

Oh - I did call security on a car that had two young children left in it - no windows open - our temps today are lower - only 87 at the time - and the lady was gone for at least 15 mins - leaving two kids in a closed car with no AC running - is she crazy or what????? We are part of a mall so the security came first followed quickly by the local police. I would not have even left my dog in a car in these temps, with the window open - let alone closed - what the heck was she thinking - oh wait - she was shopping..... and was only going to be five mins !!!!! Don't get me started.........

Have had a bad day. But am trying to lighten up. I might go out and pull dead flowers - that will cheer me up won't it? LOL. let me see who has posted and what I can answer......

Space - so sorry that you had to stop the Topa - although i don't think the eye thing hurts as such but better to be safe than sorry - you need to PM Play - she knows about that - and I am so proud of you for taking the Antabuse - I am scared stiff of that stuff! I was given an RX years ago when i asked my doc for some and never ever took it. I hope that you have a good weekend with your sons birthday. gosh - 13 years old. that makes me feel ancient.

Houtx - you feel the same as I do re the ant - I am not scared that I will drink on it but that I will take something that I don't know will react to it. Just in case you are not on - have a wonderful time in new orleans. let us know how much fun you have (wink wink nudge nudge say no more). Space will understand THAT saying !!!! LOL

Diz - I so understand how you are feeling. I knew that we were ALL going through our own private problems right now. I could just feel it...... will your Topa work if you just jump in and start upping it? I know that it works totally differently for you than for anyone else I have known - so hopefully it will. I have never been able to just jump in and up it. I also heard that you weren't supposed to crush it either - LOL.

The races sounded great but I laughed about your money smelling of champagne!! I have never been one for the races OR gambling. Glad that you enjoyed it. Your talking about UK makes me feel homesick........ How is your plan going re the AL? Is your b/f good to go along with it - does he understand how things are for you? I so hope so - it would make life so much easier.....

WTE - so good to see you post! I DO understand about the 'holding your breath' until something is over. That is what I did tuesday morning when i was waiting for my doc's appt. hubs wanted me to go out for coffee with him and I said I couldn't 'cos of my appt (which at the time was 2 1/2 hours away - LOL) but he knows me and he understood. I will be SO happy for you when Monday is here and you get to go for your appt. I just hope that you get some answers and some joy from it.........

Hey there Wu - I am so happy that you have joined in with us. I have two girls - just 29 and 26, been married for just over 30 years. Lived in Germany for a few years before coming here, as my hubs was military (retired now) which is where I met him. Loved that you threatened to mix your prosecco with your All-One - how funny! yes, things in cans DO taste funny with the topa - I used to drink soda - quite a lot but now only drink maybe one or two at most a day now. My drink, as I said, is guiness, and it comes in cans, as i like the one that is the draught, with the widget, and that tastes fine to me - LOL, but generally things in cans do taste strange with the topa. My soda consumption went down drastically when I first started Topa and has never gone back up.

I sort of understand how your hubs feels - I sometimes feel very homesick for UK BUT I can only be happy where I am if that makes sense? As someone said - you take yourself with you....... so I make sure that I am always happy where I am - well, as happy as I can be which usually I am - have been going through a bad patch recently. I am usually the happy one. Up until a few months ago I always was. But hopefully I will get myself sorted. The Topa never made me feel spacey by the way - it never made me feel anything. When this thread started there really wasn't anything much about SE's and I deliberately hadn't Googled any SE's so I wouldn't know what to look for. I only had the tingling in my feet - and sometimes it wasn't tingling - it felt as if someone was digging me with pins !!! But I liked it as it made me know that the Topa was working.

I know what it is to live somewhere small - I lived in a village of 800 in the UK. Folk knew what I was doing before I even did it. So I know where you are coming from. Where I live now the population is 20,000 which is big ! But I know a lot of folk. And lots know me but none of them KNOW me !!! I am just considered that nice english lady. it is great that you are able to have the apartment from your in-laws. I assume as they babysit that they are fairly close though....... it sounds as if you are really happy which is great! Now you just need to get the demon AL under control - right?

Anyway - I need to go and feed the dogs.

take care all,

love sun XX

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning Everyone!!
Space.. so sorry you had to go off the topa... i was hoping for you to be my partner, we were just a few days off from our starting dates i think. I have to say though, i think you are really great to be able to take the AB..... I could never do it!!! Too scary!! I am on day four of topa, and so far so good. Wonderful of you to make your sons Birthday a special one!!!!!

Sun....I live in a small city with 30,000 here, but this city services the kanton of 250,000. So its big, but still, everywhere you go someone knows you and is saying ciao, hi, how is your family.... etc. I grew up in Los Angeles, so its a big difference. My in laws like to stop by unannounced, and they have the keys.... lol, a great reason to curtail my drinking. I had a great day yesterday, only three glasses. Even those I could have lived without. Sleep was scarce though, and my attempt to get Melatonin yesterday was to no avail. I was kindly told that one needs a prescription. Imagine my shock!!! I said what!?! and laughed and said, but its natural! She said that its a hormone, and that all hormones here in Switzerland need a script. Um, ok. I can get codiene OCT but no melatonin. Life can be so strange. My Doc gave me 40 lorazapams and asked if i still had some after 2 weeks, but i cant get melatonin? I guess they prefer that i get addicted to benzos. Just kidding, I dont take them, only in an emergency. Its truly ironic how that smallest things can make one so happy. I feel like such a princess right now with my new blender. In America I wouldnt even think twice about getting one. Here they are more than 100 franks though, around 4 times the price as walmart, so I just didnt. Well when i sent hubby, and told him to get me some fruit and jougurt, he really went all out. He bought me all types of glorious tropical fruits juicing oranges and things I just never buy. I am turning into a fruitaholic!! Last night I even thought about blending some plum for my prosecco to make it taste better, and then I actually thought about, dare I say it..... making mocktails!! I even have thought about having hubby get me some NA beer, which is what got me through my pregnancy.... and comes in glass. I did think about you yesterday when i thought about the cans..... and the fact that not many places in the states have Guiness on draft..... I know.... I have worked in 4 and 5 star service most of my life. I may switch instead to the small bottles, as i dont think what I am experiencing is anything other than some type of placebo, and I dont want to come crashing down..... though I am on the extreme pack from my way out, which includes the lglut and kudzu.....could that be why I am not having cravings after 4 days on topa?? could it be the effexor? I have even noticed a decrease in my smoking!
I know what you mean about being happy all the time. That used to be me. Full of energy, the one everyone wanted around. I always come over here with alot of energy and peace, and then it somehow just gets progressively worse. This year we have had a really rainy cold may, june and july, as in the states all your flowers are dying. I keep thinking, you can have mine!!!! I sure hope you do get it sorted out Sun..... hopefully the Celexa will help. You have the one thing I would wish for. A garden. I must say, i long for tomato plants and peppers for my dogs to eat from... which of course I laughed when i read that. I had dogs, two shelties a boy and a girl. They were a gift from my mother and 5 months later i was pregnant... I wanted to breed them, timing wasnt very good. second time also not, and i was still pregnant. We had a kind of diaper that we put on her to keep it from happeneing, but once after a walk, the phone rang, and well, it happened. She delivered a week after me, and we didnt even know she was pregnant. My FIL was watching them as I was just out of the hospital. She needed a c-section and long story short, he fell in love with the whole clan. all five shelties are his pride and joy. Thus they live in their house in the country, about 20 minutes from the city.
I feel like the demon is under control. I just wonder now if its time to try some Af days or not. My goal is to moderate. I would be happy to drink two glasses a day forever.

By the way, i think you did the right thing Sun with regard to the kids in the car. Thats terrible. First of all, they can DIE!!! Second.... it is considered child abuse, and i think one can be prosecuted! I dont even leave my daughter in the car to run in and pay for gas! Oh well, sometimes people learn the hard way..... sad really.

Well any way, I hope you are all having a wonderful day, or sleeping well whatever the case may be.
Love, xxoo

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ok, reaching out..... my 25 year old daughter came over. unanounnced, not knocking. She went into the kitchen and made herself at home, and then proceeded to eat. Normally, i wouldnt think thats abnormal, but here food is really expensive, and normally planned for something. Then she proceeded to tell me why I am so horrible with my drinking, when she doesnt really know my plan. It hurts. It does. I asked her to buy me ciggs as she borrowed my car, and she got mad again. She has saved more that 40,000 by living here but recently moved out as she found the perfect apt. an apt of a friend of my husbands, but also an ex of hers. so she has the key, and she uses it whenever she wants to and scares me half to death half the time. Right now, i just want my pivacy and to get through it privatly. Once she left with my car, I had a HUGE craving. I have opened thousands of bottles of champagne. Not all of them mine.... I couldnt get it open, not for the life of me. I had to get a cork screw...... unbelievable and now i have a pain behind my eye. And some twitching behind my eye. I have also had some difficulticultis with typing and spelling, but otherwise nothing to speak of..... other than wan walking into the wrong room. For example.... i walk into the washroom when i should go into the restroom. I go to the restroom when i want to put something away in ashleys room. I go to the wrong place constanctly. and then i worry about spelling and dont know how to correct. Ok... topa dopa.... all good. what i hate is the craving. and the desperation with which i had to open the bottle... no matter how small.....

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone

Just ended up feeling lonely last night, bf had to meet someone to try and have our shower fixed and I cooked dinner and it took him forever to come home. Plus he bought venison burgers and I had no idea how to cook it, it would just be wrong to add ketchup to it, so I went all out and made a lovely mushroom sauce and side salad.

Anyway, by the time he finally came back I was in tears as my mood just dipped. We had a cool chat though and I explained how I felt and he said I'm doing much better than he thought I would and he has never been happier in his life. So after I calmed down and we ate (and he made a big fuss over the meal, he is a big foodie so I was petrified of those damn patties and overcooking them) I showed him the pictures I took of Leeds and we researched ways to revive my camera that was destroyed at the races.

This morning I woke up with his credit card next to the travel mug of coffee he always leaves me when he leaves for work with a name of a camera and where to buy it today. Its one I drooled over months ago So at least next week I'll be going out for an hour a day to practice both my walking fitness and revive my camera skills to prevent cabin fever from setting in. Will post some pics for you guys.

Sun, don't worry, it was my first time at the races, not one for gambling either. He knows about my drinking problem and the fact that I've been to rehab but somehow it doesn't bug him. Maybe cos his Irish

I should work towards making some friends here but I have no idea where to start. I guess I should get bf to introduce me to his friends' wives but as its school holidays both of his two good friends wives now have three kids at home and somehow I don't really feel up to that just yet. Theyre both from India and about 10 years older than me and sound really cool. Well, its a starting point, and joining a yoga class won't kill me either.

Its terrible about the kids in the car. I once saw a woman on Oprah who left her baby in the car and it died. She wasn't the one to normally drop the kid off and the baby kept her up most of the night so she was sleep deprived, very sad story.

Space, sorry about the Topa but I'm really happy that you are so well prepared for your son's birthday. I hope that its a fab day and that you get some sunshine.

Wu, we seem to find two types of people, those who are really sensitive to Topa and react right from the start, and those who take a month or so to kick in. I know those with a propensity for bipolar like myself are really sensitive to it and react really well to it at small dosis. It gives me energy and keeps me awake instead of making me tired but then I only start forgetting words and getting serious Topa Dopa when I drink on it. You are bound to experience some side effects, I actually started by cutting 25mg pills in half and titrating up by 12.5mg and you'd be surprised how sensitive my body is to that slight change. Have you read the MWO book? Are you drinking enough water?If you are having trouble sleeping, I would advise you to take it as soon as you wake up in the morning, also consider titrating up in lower dosis, you can feel it working, so there is no reason to torture yourself with side effects.

Lots of love to everyone.

:h