New here and starting Topa and with a question

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Typing this on my phone from a sexual health clinic to try and kill time. It feels like I'm getting my ducks into a bit more of a row and stress levels are lower so promise to start posting more. For a while there I cut out lots of people, not sure why.

Sheez, I decided to get the progesterone shot 3 months ago. I know there are lots of bad SE's but I get terrible PMS and with the PCOS the doc said this is a good idea for a year. Thing is though at home its R50 for the shot and here its either 50 quid or free, depending on the mood of the nurse... 50 quid is quite a lot of money for me but I have to take the chance, don?t want to risk further emotional/hormonal upheaval.

Trying to think about stuff I can comment on as I cant read it now.

WTE - Well done, and welcome to the Citalopram/Celexa club. I know I'm on it, as is Sun and Space and possibly Play too? Do I notice a pattern here? Don?t forget that a lot of people get sucked into the Lexapro marketing propaganda. Pharmaceutical giants are great at only changing one teensy bit of a drug, multiplying the price by 3 and convincing everyone that they should switch. They have even been found guilty of inventing new disorders just in order to market new drugs, basically the same drug but with a different name.

I had to laugh at your antics as I'm the same when I try to get away with lying. Would make a really bad petty criminal

Sun, glad you are feeling better on your old tabs. Doggies are smart and they know what they can get away with and with whom. Like our dog would only beg for food given to him previously. If you made the mistake of feeding him chocolate cake he would then assume chocolate cake is now part of ?Lucky food?.

Mimi, nice to see you, and glad to hear you have been doing well except for the one blip. Congrats on your daughter?s wedding!

Meggie, I think its amazing, everything you do for your mother. I found that the Topa tiredness (I only experienced it after 5 as it made me hyper the rest of the day) did wear off after about 2-3 weeks of titrating up so please hang in there. I can?t read back properly now but please ensure you take your All One or multivitamin for the mind blips.

Maya ? :welcome:, you have come to the right place. No need to be scared. I have had very few side effects on Topa and it has changed my life for the better.

Wu, I really enjoy reading your posts and you joining the thread is really a breath of fresh air, especially since I and a few others have been bad at posting.

Space, let us know how you are, OK? Houtx you too and others I may have forgotten to mention now.

Right, they just called number 16 and I?m number 17 so I better get ready for the jab.

Lots of love and light.

:h

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Everyone, thank you very much for all your support. I did get back to my Mom and tell her it wasn't being with her, it was the situation(and I think the withdrawl). She is 80, severe health problems, but does have great health insurance and money enough to have in care help. (Except when we come home) Sun, I appreciate all you said and everyone else, it is nice to have people listen, really listen to your babble. but somethimes your problems seem litttle when I read about chairs being ruined and the cost. that would make me sick, people going to doctors incognito(sp). I also feel blessed to have great health insurance and a wonderful daughter. She is home for the summer but will be leaving soon to go back to college. I want to quit for her, she gets so mad at me, and she should.
As for Campral, I was in the hospital last year for a couple days and couldn't drink and was put on campral. It works if you are not drinking to help with cravings, I found it to have very few if now side effects. However, you can not take it and drink, it doesn't work at all. I quit in 2006 for a whole year( with topa) and thought I could moderate, nope. Then tried again to quit 2011, did it for 9 month on campral. It worked great, then I took one drink. I was off and running and here I ams a year later. My plan is to use topa to quit then switch to campral. the big thing is to take the 6 pills

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning All …

Hey Diz! Great to hear from you! I knew Sun was on Celexa, but I didn’t remember that you were also, nor Space. Yes, pretty goofy the hoops I had to jump through with the new DR thing. I just REALLY needed a DR that I could be totally honest with about my drinking.

I’m having a bit of a tough time on it. It was only Day 2 yesterday and I took it in the afternoon. I was SO dang tired all day, even before I took it. But it is messing with my sleep – something very uncommon for me! I took off work early yesterday and came home and slept for hours before going out to dinner. Then I am having problems sleeping through the night. UGH. And I’m worried about this anxiety feeling I am getting off and on. Hoping that it is all just temporary.

And for the life of me, I can’t seem to get my appetite back. I’ve been off Topa for a while now, but nothing is changing, except that I am back to drinking too much. I’ve since read a possible side effect of Celexa is loss of appetite. Good grief. I did weigh in at 114# at the DR so his scale is showing a few more pounds than mine.

How long before I can expect to feel any different? Diz, what dosage do you take and what time of day? How long have you been taking it? God, I am just so sick of taking any drugs as I am someone who normally doesn’t even take aspirin. (except my hormone patch).

But, I did have a nice dinner with my GF last night. A new restaurant with a lovely outdoor patio and it was a beautiful evening to be outside. I ate fairly well, so that’s a good start for me. Today I have promised myself to do some proper grocery shopping and get the house stocked back up. And try hard to get back into my All-One and L-Glut routine. I really felt so much better when I was doing that.

Wu: You can’t possibly be as long winded as me! HA!

Meggie: Thanks for the info on Campral. My DR had mentioned it, but I was surprised when I looked it up that you cannot take it and still drink. There is this stupid little spot in my brain that keeps trying to convince me that I will be able to moderate – I am wondering if that will ever be true.

And Meggie, ALL of our problems are the same size. Babble away because we are here for each other. We may all have different “issues” we are dealing with, but for each of us they are big things because they are in our lives. I’m glad you spoke to your Mom. And enjoy your daughter for the summer – how fun! I hope the Topa works well for you and you are able to quit again for her – and for you. Hugs

Maya: Where are you? Please come and join us.

Space: You have been gone too long. Are you OK?

Sun: Just waving HI and giving you a hug – can’t wait to meet you!

Play: Thinking about your journey home today. Please get in touch soon when you get settled back in!

Houtx: Where did you disappear to?

And so the gold chair situation ……

I spent hours on the phone yesterday with the rental company, the caterers and my shop insurance company. The first bad news I got was that my insurance probably would not cover it because it was a “3rd party” issue. Not an act of God or a broken sprinkler – but a knucklehead that turned the sprinklers on. And the gardener that did it lives at the house, so he is not from a landscaping company that I could go after. It was a rip in my brain all day as to if I should call my client or not. I am certain she has big insurance and it would cover it – but do I dare upset her??? She is SO connected and the guest list was pretty amazing and she is NOT one I would want to upset and spread bad info about my shop.

I waited hours to hear from the rental company on how “huge” this bill was going to be. It was killing me! The cushions on the chairs were white linen. I recently had a double chaise in my courtyard recovered and it cost me $650. So I am thinking it’s going to be a monstrous bill for each of these cushions and they had said there 88 of them ruined. Not to mention all the gold chairs ruined. I pretty much had resigned myself to not only losing all the profit I had made on the event, but a big chuck coming out of my bank as well.

I finally caved and called in the rental company. I was hoping they had calmed down a bit and it was not going to be as bad as it first sounded and they would email or call me. When I called, the gal told me she was just about to email me and said “I’m afraid to tell you the amount over the phone”. *GULP* To my delight, it was not anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be. $2400.00 Still pretty bad, but I was imagining much worst! We chatted a bit and she finally put me on with the owner.

I talked to him about repair of some of chairs. We both said “can’t afford to eat the cost”. And so I shamelessly did some name dropping of some of the people who had attended the event, and explained that I didn’t DARE charge my client. At that event were at LEAST 25 of the wealthiest people in the US. Security alone was $8000 for the evening. He asked me what I wanted and I asked him if he would split the cost with me and he would forever have all of my event business. He told me he would “look at things again and get back to me”. Hell – I figured I had nothing to lose by asking! HA!

Mercury must have come out of retrograde because he called about an hour later to say YES! So my total bill for the entire mess only ended up being $1123. Still not fun, but WAYYY better than I had originally thought! So I paid it, did not contact my client and informed my insurance company that I would not be attempting a claim.

As a fun side note, the evening of the event as cocktail hour was still happening, I ran around with my big camera and took photos of the guests, as well as my client. I had over the weekend worked and had a photo book made for her with a pretty leather cover and 35 pages of pictures of everything and everyone. It just happened to arrive in the mail yesterday morning! So we wrapped it up real pretty and I had one of my drivers deliver it to her.

Late yesterday afternoon I got the SWEETEST email from her! She raved about everything from that night, thanked me and said “as usual, over the top”. And said I would not believe the wonderful comments from the guests on how everything was done, the colors, florals, etc. So a VERY happy ending to a very stressful situation! =) And hopefully more events! HA!

It always cracks me up when people come into my shop and say things like “I’ve always wanted to own a flower shop. It’s so peaceful”. Yeah well, it may look like that, but people have no clue what is really happening behind the scenes! HA! One of my Junior Designers recently said “someone should do a reality show about flowers shops because people have no idea what it is really like”. LOL

So I just may take today off. My Assistant is back from Europe and I have a full crew on today. The sun is out already and it should be a beautiful day. I feel like I own Charlie some more time than I have been giving him. Maybe I can even get my act together enough to get a few projects done around the house that I have been putting off forever.

Just wishing this Celexa would kick in ….

Hugs to all ….

[mayarose]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi...New here..just started Topa

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I just started Topa yesterday, 25mg. No SE at all. I feel very calm today, just a bit sleepy. No cravings at all. I pray this helps. I am also doing AA and plan on beginning hypno. I won't say "good luck", but STAY STRONG....we can do this!!!!!!:new:

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Day 3 here. Only 362 (?) days until I hit one year.
For the sake of my marriage, I have to make sure that I am successful this time.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all, Im sorry I havent been posting here, I have been pretty down and cant really bring myself to bother. I do take citalopram/celexa but for me its just not a good med so I am in for a wait to get it changed. Im not drinking right now but dont think of that as any accomplishment because of the way I feel and the way Im living right now, so I havent really got any more to say but I am reading all your posts and hope to be in a better state of mind soon to be able to join in again.

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well Hello all!!
Sorry I didnt post yesterday, I started to, but it was Swiss Independence Day, so while I was posting, the church bells started ringing for like a hour, and then the fireworks started. People buy them here themselves, and I live on the 5th floor with a view of the entire city. The fireworks here last around three hours, some people go all out. We just sit back and watch the whole thing for free.. LOL!!! My little one was scared at first, so that ended that and I ended up losing the post. Sigh..... It was lovely though! I poured myself a prosecco for the festivities, and my husband asked me, your going to drink? I said, Its the first of August! Everyone else is drinking!! LOL!!! He laughed at me.... So I had my two glasses last night. What a pleasure to be free from drinking the way I used to. The cravings would set in as soon as I got tired of coffee..... uuugh! BEFORE I even thought of food!! So then sadly, al to often I would end up not eating, or eating something just to get something in my stomach to not get sick. Horrible.

Oh, BTW... a little trick for those of you on all one. take the skins off the bananas when they are at perfection, ziplock and freeze for your smoothies! It helps as they go bad so quickly, especially if you have those friendly fruit flies in the area.

The reason my husband asked me about the prosecco last night was because the night before I went to my best friends 40th birthday party. I dont know why, but any Bday here that involves a 0 is a big deal. I was aprehensive about going, as any party or festival here there is alot of alcohol involved. And being sober or relatively so is not fun when everyone else is "tying one on". I HAD to be there for her though. I knew i would drink more than i should, and did. They talked me into trying aperol, which i though had less alcohol like 5 percent, so i agreed knowing i dont drink much of what I dont like. well, as it turned out, it had the same, so it ended up just being a mix!! of prosecco and aperol!! sigh.... it was ok, as everyone was already feeling really good when i got there 2 and a half hours too late. There was also alot of stress there, as my friend just left her hubby who i loved for a woman she fell in love with,um... yea... and her whole family was there... and of course they were going through some emotions that they wanted to talk to me about.... gggrrr!! Strange thing was... even though I had soooo much prosecco, i mean ALOT like a gallon maybe, i still had my senses, could think clearly, could walk straight, and remembered everything the next day. Now the reason i decided to begin this therapy, was 1. it was time. in other words, i dont want to end up in a bad place not being able to eat... dont want to ruin my family etc, 2. stress caused my drinking to escalate due to bf making said changes, and as i have tried to help hubby get through it, plus she doesnt have time for me anymore, which always happens with a new love regardless of it being man or..... 3. i went out once for salsa dancing one night, had 5 glasses of prosecco, and 2 very small glasses of strawberry wine, and was totally lit! i couldnt remember very much from the night, was slurring, couldnt walk straight...(I was out without husband, in my daughters bar) very strange for me. I think its possible that someone put something in my drink. Either way, it would be my fault for not recognizing that. Thats why I decided to stop. Well moderate. I dont ever want to get out of control like that again. My friends BD party, i was with friends, so it was not a problem, and i was watching myself. I told her quickly about my new program and she asked me, but why? I told her, do you know how it feels to open the fridge in the morning and want a prosecco? she said yes.... for 3 years. ( I didnt tell her it was because of her recently, but thats a bigger story) besides, i will be changing my name shortly in case i introduce her to the program, but she doesnt really speak english. Judging from her fridge and the amount of alcohol at the party it might be an issue....lol! We ended up there. If my fridge looked like that, my huny buny might ask if i had some plans!?! LOL!!

space.... this ones for you...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zvl9N9GdraQ[/video]]Financial "Crisis" in Greece - YouTube
I hope you like it... I hope things get better for you. We sure have missed you here! I have noticed you posting around. miss you honey!

MIMI....People fall.... it happens. Please dont be hard on yourself and look forward to the future!! # days is awsome! I am in the beggining of my journey, so I am sorry for my rant. I am looking forward also to 3 days! You can do it! Glad you posted! Please stay with us!

Maya.... Yes, you can do this, but dont judge yourself too hard in the beginning. Just know its a journey. Have you bought the book? Did you get any supps? they really help! We are really here when you need us. Sooo nice to hear from you!

WTE.... Darling, it takes about 2 weeks for you to feel the full effects. then your doc may want you to titrate up. Thats what happened with my effexor. Pretty much how it goes with all ADs. Please try to start taking it in the mornings. It may be why you are having the sleep disruption. Oh, and BTW... you so crack me up! you are a mirror of me during certain periods of my time with wine! not being able to go grocery shopping! but being able to get wine and cigs? you smoke??!? in CA? I thought that was a capitol offense there! I guess if i ever go to visit i better stay at your house! lol!! Yes I want to quit too, and have spent 1000s on electronic ciggs. I have found one thats really good, and i love it. i am not on it right now as one addiction at a time. I want to try another one though, as it looks more like a cig than mine. more on that if and when you are interested. I went on my first cruise this year, loved it! I could only smoke also electronic ciggs in the smoking areas... so i just smoked the normal ones, as mine looked a bit too ... strange. but i actually like it in some ways more than real cigs once i get started with it! Oh, and i TOO WAS SOOO NERVOUS about you chair situation. Thankfully that is resolved. BTW... Like you, part of why i believe i started was largely due to some of the same reasone you believe you did. more on that later. Some days when i couldnt think about cooking, and i am a very good cook, with a thousand tricks up my sleeve for fast and easy, i just went to sweet tomatoes. I pumped anything with a ton of vitamins etc in to help my body recoup and get back to normalacy. I always thought it helped. I think in some areas its called soup plantation. Hope this helps!

Meggie.... WOW!! You are a wonderful daughter! Dont let your sis make you feel guilty. I am amazed that you have that much energy when you are going through this! Take care of you, and please post more! We care!! I hope the campral will work. As I said, i dont know much about it, as my goal is to moderate, and not be a slave to alcohol. So far, so good. I am still at 50 mg too though. I have my reasons to want to moderate, but i live in a culture that doesnt have respect if one cant toast with alcohol. I would have to be a total wino living in the streets to go into AA and people think its ok for me to abstain in the future. I know its hard to understand... but it is what it is. It wouldnt work for everyone, but so far, its working well for me. I am sure i will get to the point soon to get some AF days in. Thats my real goal, AF days, a couple glasses on a hard day, or on a day of celebration, but also to be able to blend in once in a while with control.

Dizzy..... So nice to see a post from you again! What is PCOS? I have terrible PMS. and during... its around 9 days or horror! Please tell me what I am missing! And thank you for seeing that. I felt really bad that there are some that werent posting anymore. I felt as though I took the thread over in desperation! But I might have more time on my hands than others.... housewife.... too much time on my hands. Part of the reason I love it in the states more than here. Over there I have her in a full time preschool. Here there is a four year waiting list, and then the cost is something like NYC for the rich and famous! I work sometimes when i am over there, and i feel much better, and drink much less.

Well, that is all for now. I hope you all are having a wonderful day, or night. Whatever the case may be. Love to all! And never forget, its a work in progress!!! We are all on our own personal journey, our own personal finding of our way out.

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh.. I wanted to tell you WTE... regarding my effexor. I went to my doc with a history of bi polar, which he didnt diagnose, nor has he ever given me anything for it. I also have an anxiety disorder, which has escalated over the years. No doubt due to past relationships and other things that other people deal with better than I do. I had a bad reaction to a med that one doc put me on. Thus and one bad relationship, and I started to self medicate with wine... whites.... mostly chard at the time. At any rate, i was going through a hard time when i met this doc a few years ago before i got pregnant, and also then trying to get the edge taken off from the depression. That depression was brought on by other family cicumstances. He gave me Xanax, and loraxapam. otherwise known as klonipin. or something like it. Then he gave me wellbutrin, which i started, but forgot to take faithfully, as i was drinking too much. This time, I went to him, hoping to get a script for topa and an AD as that helps me too. Topa can be prescribed to help for bipolar... so I took my chances and tried. I told him that I had been on prozac and topa in the states, both being true at some point, one prescribed, one not. and not at the same time. lol! He gave me effexor, but first consulted with a psychiatrist that is also in his office. He couldnt find my previous records,(unfortunate) as I do like to have the Xanax from time to time) it is calming and doesnt put you to sleep but calms you down and i think its very good for anxiety if not abused. So he through some klonipin at me in record numbers which i dont dare take as they make me sleep four hours, and it is supposedly a mild tranquilizer, a benzo as they are called, but that with a four year old on the fifth floor= horror. The effexor for me right now has been a life saver. In the beggining, i wanted to jump off my balcony. Either one of them. I even wrote a good bye note before it took effect. Really. I couldnt bring myself to do it, as I have so much to live for. A what is considered here luxury apartment in Switzerland. Wonderful husband and daughter. Four wonderful children that would really truly be alone. A family in America that i REALLY DONT KNOW what they would do without me. Not just because I am the go to person in the family for advice but also because soon I will have take over the empire. small empire, but the one that takes care of my entire family. No wonder I just want a small farm and to live off the land. well somewhat. lol... And my husband just loves to live in his small city. So anyway, my mom, is the one that takes care of the whole family. at least financially. Not me, but the rest. And she has failing health. I am by far the eldest and the only one with any responsibilty. So I have to take care of them. Phone calls from her only mean the worst, and I have had one from her this week. it wasnt fun. Effexor helped me keep the faith. I was told that it can increase desire to drink, but for me, it has so far been ok, as i have seen only the other side thus far. I am keeping watch though. Any way. For me the effexor has been working well. anxiety away, most of it. but still wait a couple of weeks and take it in the mornings and see what happens. then see if you need to up it. I dont think you have a very good past with ADs but perhaps because you never let them take effect, perhaps because whats in your head. Let it do its job, and then make a choice. Mine is not expensive. that much I know, as I also pay myself for it. I dont have insurance here at the mometn here, but I am not plagued here by pre existing conditions. Here I can get insurance at a moments notice, and they have to cover me, may be why i chance it in america. I can always get on a plane.

So.. I went to doc with hopes of topa, got Ad. Helped tremendously. Got Supps. Started eating the right way. Now am so much better!!!!!! bUT STILL WORKING ON IT.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All

I finally went out and took my camera for a test drive yesterday. Somehow my timing must have clashed with a rowing Olympics event as there were tourists EVERYWHERE but I got some cool shots in and there was even a bit of sunshine. I'm still busy editing the pics but will try to post one or two tomorrow.

Meggie, don't worry, we all rant and rave and we all accept that our problems are never small. For instance, I have to do my boyfriends expenses for the last four months today and that is giving me a stress level of 7 as I hate dealing with figures, I have never had to do this before and I'm afraid I may muck it up. This is all making me want to drink but we all know THATS a bad idea at lunch time for someone who sucks with numbers. I guess I'm just trying to say that someone like WTE may have found this situation not stressful in the least as she deals with expenses all the time. So its not the problem but how stressful it is to you.

Also, having two very ill parents, I would say that having to deal with them is actually one of the most stressful things one can go through.

WTE, I'm afraid I'm not much help on the Celexa front. I only take 10mg at lunch time. It is the first anti depressant that does not make me feel ill. I used to take 20mg but as the Topa makes me feel better, I tapered down and is actually thinking of stopping it as I'm not sure I really respond to it. However, I have tried loads of other AD and this is the first one that at least didnt make me feel worse. The second best one was good old prozac. All the newer brands made me feel nauseous or headachy or terrible, could be because of the drinking, mind you.

I'm afraid you're going to have to hang in there a bit with this med. It is my experience that the first two weeks is just getting used to the pill and it takes a couple of weeks before it has any effect on your mood. If it is really making you feel bad, try taking it at different times of the day or split the pill in half. I'm more sensitive to AD than most so I often split the pills in the beginning without even telling my doctor, much better than feeling ill for a month for the sake of slavishly following instructions. You could try to take the pill as soon as you wake up or just before you go to bed and also get some Melatonin to help catch some Zzz's. Sorry to hear about the chairs - yikes! But it seems at least it ended pretty well.

Maya, great news on the no cravings. Keep it up! :goodjob:

Mimi, glad to have you back. What is your plan this time. Are you still on the Topa?

Space, so sorry to hear you are still not feeling well. I'm with you, you need a different AD. Perhaps the Seroquel did help your mood though? Just a thought, its so tough to know when one is on a cocktail of meds, I know as I am too. Have you thought of upping your Gaba maybe? Is there anything in your life that is bugging you, you know something situational that could be causing this depression other than just normal depressive behaviour? Have you been going to the centre lately? :l

Wu, you remind me of when I first started the thread. I was just so happy to find like-minded people and this is a really excellent thread to join. We really need you as a lot of our regulars are going through tough times right now. I'm doing well in theory but I'm just under stress as I'm still adjusting to a new country and living in a tiny flat with my bf who I don't know that well. I'm used to being on my own and being able to pretty much being able to do what I want. If I wanted to close the door to my bedroom at 8pm and just read and fall asleep, thats fine. But now I'm still in that stage where I feel I have to look pretty all the time and polite and make sure the place is neat etc. I guess I will relax more as time goes by but the stress isn't good for my drinking patterns and then the hangovers make me grumpy

Anyway, I've been on Klonopin for a long time and switched to Valium before coming here as it lasts longer and it has fewer side effects if you withdraw from it. It didnt really make me feel sleepy in the end. Is the Topa working well for you? Just curious as we seem to find that it works better for people with bipolar tendencies. Well I'm taking just over 50mg and it started working at only 12,5mg so I'm much more sensitive to it than most.

PCOS is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, I'm too lazy to explain but here is the Wiki entry: Polycystic ovary syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia It messes up your periods, can cause extra facial hair, weight gain, etc. With the progesterone shot, my periods go away, so at least I don't have to deal with the terrible PMS monster. I think this flat is too small for my boyfriend and I and that monster.

I better go work on the expenses...

Lots of love and hugs to everyone.

XXX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning all !!

Maya - you sound so positive and motivated - that is half the battle - good for you. Stay with us eh? let us know how you do and post whenever you feel like it.....

Mimi - Glad you are here too...... did you decide to try the campral? My prayers are with you and sending you hugs too. Hoping things are looking up for you :l

Space - so sorry you are going through this depression too - we have all been through this this year haven't we? I understand not wanting to post when you feel like that - just feel you have nothing to say - quite understand !! I am feeling better than I was although I don't think i will ever be back to how I was when I was on the 60 mg of celexa - and the docs will never let me take that dosage again. Anyway - hugs to you too and so hope that you start feeling better soon. :l

Hi there Diz - good to hear from you. You sound a bit better - are you beginning to settle in a bit more now? How are things going with you and b/f? All good I hope.....did you end up going to a yoga class in the end? Or have you met any of b/f mates wives/girl friends?

Yes, the dogs will assume that whatever I give them is THEIR food but I haven't given them any red bell peppers!! I did drop a 50 mg Topa tab the other night and Katie snapped it up - started crunching it and dropped half - I snapped that up but she still ate the half - didn't seem to have any effect on her thank goodness! the ironic thing is that if I had wanted her to eat a tablet of course she wouldn't take it without it being rolled in cheese or meat or something!

WTE - I am so happy for you that the chairs didn't turn out as terribly as they could have. It could have been SO much worse, so even though it was still bad, it wasn't as bad as it could have been thank goodness! So glad that you and the chap came to an agreement.

The celexa usually take about a week to 10 days to kick in but you probably need to go up to 40 mg to see if it is going to work or not. It might not be the AD for you...... After being off it for a while, it did take me a night or two for it to settle down for me.

Oh - I will know on Friday when I am coming to visit - they are doing the schedule then so I have to have my time off request in then and Play and I will be talking on friday.....

Yes - I too need to get back onto my all-One - I haven't been very good either with that or my L-Glut either. I have been drinking Naked Juice - the Green one but it isn't as good as the All-One for you. It is good but doesn't have half the stuff in it! I am just getting lazy I think. I need to get my act together.

Diz - just saw that you posted again - sounds good about the pictures - we would love to see them!! it is funny - you are suggesting to WTE that she goes down on the Celexa and here I am suggesting she goes up - LOL. Yes, I tried three different Ad's before settling on celexa - all the others gave me really bad SE's and Celexa really worked for me - but the main thing was that it didn't make me feel like a zombie when I first started taking it.

Wu - I agree with Dizzy about you posting - gosh no, you are definitely not scaring anyone away - we ebb and flow here. It is lovely when someone posts a lot - lets up on us a little bit - LOL. Like Space right now - it is hard to post when one is feeling down - I went through it a little while back and actually stopped posting for a little while. It is lovely that you have joined us and please keep posting as much as you like. It is great that you are with us and I love reading your posts.

Thank you for explaining things to us - it helps us to know you and understand where you are coming from. Sounds like you have had your fair share of down times too. Very hard to deal with..... especially when one thinks they have everything and no reason to feel the way they are feeling. It just makes it worse 'cos then you are on the guilt trip too. But such is the way of depression. I think effexor was one of the AD's i tried years ago and it did nothing for me - I think that was one of the ones that turned me into an emotionless wreck.

I do put my bananas into the freezer when they are beginning to get too ripe to use - except I leave the peels on mine - I will have to start peeling them. The skins go black and then I look at them and think "YUCK". And don't use them - LOL. So that is the trick!!

I too have tried the electronic cigs - but for some reason didn't like them - maybe cos they weren't the real thing - ROTFLMBO !!! Hubs said he would really like me to quit - he worries about me getting cancer! When I quit AL for 8 months the year before last I also quit cigs at the same time - and then started them both at the same time after I broke my foot and was home bored. I do need to quit again - SIGH. I will - but not until after my visit to WTE.

Oh Wu - I totally understand the culture there - obviously, having lived in Germany for a couple of years. It is a drinking culture and yes, you toast with a drink - so I can understand the need to mod. But I understand the wanting to get a couple of AF days in. Me too!! Something I don't seem to be able to do. You seem to be doing well though despite parties and such - it is much harder when one has an active social life, which we don't. So just keep going and hanging in there. Shame about your best friend and her hubs splitting up, although for the reason she did, it must be serious - I really feel for anyone in that situation - I had a best friend in UK that did the same thing and thought she was very brave. The fact that MY friends hubs was a jerk is irrelevant - I still think it was a brave thing to do.

Well, I need to go and do something. i had been hoping to sleep in but the dogs woke us at 5.30 wanting to go out - hubs let them out then came back to bed. he KNOWS they want food after going out so eventually I got up and fed them - tried to go back to bed but they kept pestering so eventually I gave up and got up - and as usual, they are sound asleep now. I shall go and give them a poke to wake them up !! I am closing tonight so won't get to bed until late (for me). But am off tomorrow which is nice.

Back later - love and hugs to all,

Sun X

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

You know.. I want all of you to know that as I searched and searched these boards, i tried to find people like me. I first found MWO in the beginning. In 2006, when this board first started. i told a good friend about it, and she did well. MOJOMUPPET. Aug 2006. I didnt do so well, didnt have as much access, in fact she became friends with RJ. This board has gone to other places since then.. all about abstinence... thats great for those who need it. I guess i am old school in this type of therapy and feel that moderating IS possible, and many have been successful. I chose a few threads to watch and watched. I needed the most understanding hearts as i am planning to moderate. That means for me that if I am to be honest, which I feel should be necessary, one needs to feel comfortable. This thread has made me feel comfortable.... and able to say anything, which should be a part of any therapy. I wish i could go through therapy, but i cant, too small here. Many reasons why not. I dont need my life splattered about town freely. it would ruin my life and that of my children... so its not a choice for me. Its also like a prison. If I go home and do it, well it goes on my permanent record. insurance or not. So I prefer to stay under the radar. You guys are my therapy. For now. Until I go home and fake a name and everything else. Thanks WTE!!!!They are used to one having no ID... LMAO......Btw.. I CHOSE to post here, though I was following stuckinlas thread .... but i found it made me drink more. as he drank more on the beginning of BAC then I did without. It just made me crave...... But i guess he had his switch.. now. is there a swiich with topa?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Wu - for me - can't speak for the others, but I found the Topa to be very subtle and sneaky. It does NOT have an switch like Bac does. But I found that I would pour a drink, and then half way through it, not want it. The first time it happened, I was cross about it. LOL I wanted the drink - but my body most definitely didn't. You have to watch for it - but it does happen. And you CAN drink over it. Funnily enough I went back to the beginning of this thread and was reading through some of the beginning posts this morning and was reading about not wanting the drink..... and about people drinking over the topa.

Yes, there is a point where you don't want to drink, but you have to listen to your body. And as I said, the first time it happened to me, I was so cross about it. Even though that was what I had been wanting - when it happened, I didn't like it. But I listened and poured the drink away!

Yes, this site has gone more to abstinence - more so recently actually than before. Are you still in touch with the friend who did so well? I am glad that you feel comfortable here. I used to post in a lot of places but now post only here pretty much - went through some stuff a while back that had me considering quitting the site altogether but decided to stay 'cos of this thread.

The others will probably give you their tuppence worth about how Topa has worked for them too -

Love, sun X

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

My unspeakable problem... well, i have been drinking these smoothies.... very healthy right? with all kinds of vitamins, amino acids, plus fish oil, and all the other stuff... well.. one day a few days ago.... i am in pain. Hubby goes to the pharmacy. he brings a pill involving figs, and a suppository, and asks, do i want the fast way or the slow way? well, im american, and in pain, so i say, the fast way. So, i went for this strange thing. although, at that time, i chose the strange thing. and then... I did the thing. three minutes later, my body rejected it, with no success. and then burning. He laughed. told me he had to do nothing but suppositories through his whole childhood. Blamed him for the whole night. He also laughed the whole night. told him thanks for the warning. thought fruits had the opposite reaction. took the fig pill. took another. and another. still suffering. not really eating any bananas. um.... what to do?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wu - when I had chemo I was horribly constipated - a problem I never ever had in my life - on the advice of a nurse, I took some stuff called Cascara Sagrada - it is a herb - and it worked wonders! Not sure if you can get it over there - hopefully you can.

sun X

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello to all …

Maya: Happy for you that you aren’t having any SEs from the Topa. It was pretty easy for me to take as well with the exception of tiredness in the beginning. Well, and then the weight nightmare thing.

Mimi: Hi sweet gal. We all slip and fall at times so please don’t be too rough on yourself. It must be very scary about your husband. Are you still taking Topa? Three days is a great start! I wish I could say the same.

Space: Sorry to hear you are down. What is it about the Celexa that is “not good for you”? What will you change to? I am so bloody confused about ADs as I just have no experience with them. I tried to do my research before seeing the DR, but everyone seems to be SO different in how they are reacting. I hope you get feeling better soon …. I understand when it feels just too much to post.

WU: You sound great! And freezing the bananas is a great idea. I do that with berries when I find them on sale as I love to add them as well.

And like you, the cravings start right after coffee and if I indulge, I just don’t eat. I think part of the problem is I live alone and no responsibility of anyone to cook for or shop for. And certainly no one I have to answer to about my drinking. People would choke if they knew how much and often how early I drink. I am just an all-day sipper. AARRGGHH.


My DR wants me to call in on Monday – 7 days after starting the Celexa to see how it is going. I did take it yesterday morning at about 930 AM. It still screwed with my sleep last night and this anxiety stuff is killing me. It’s new for me unless I was on a REALLY heavy drinking run a few years back and would get it slightly in the morning. Now I am waking up in the middle of the night with it. Awful. And a touch of an upset stomach, although the DR said that may happen at first. So far I feel only negatives from it … but it has only been a few days, so we shall see.

For some reason I have always fought taking any AD. I guess I just always thought (hoped) that time heals all and I just have to work through my issues. It was my best GF that convinced me to see this DR after she went on Lexapro and is feeling so much better. Like me, she is single, lives alone, we are the same age and both struggle with the issues of dating and supporting ourselves. I have watched her drink quite a bit of wine as well and have often wondered if she has a bit of a problem as well – although I know she never drinks during the day. (That I know of) She has no clue about my drinking or using Topa. My shame I guess in having this issue.

And yes, sadly I do smoke. Yuck. Every time I try to quit, a few glasses of wine and I sat “screw it”. I tried 2 different types of electric cigarettes and they just didn’t help at all. The last two trips I took were to Australia and to Greece so both long flights and I bought them for that reason to begin with. Maybe I have just not found the right one. Yes – smoking in CA is quite frowned on and I know very few people who still smoke. But there are always places to walk out to find a spot.

I’m glad you found us here. Love your posts and agree that we have a bit in common for sure! And IF you ever do go see a DR with fake info, I have a few tips for you. HA! Like how to change your SS# and still have it look right but not traceable. This is my therapy too. Although I was thinking that perhaps today I would call that medical group and just ask a few questions. I have NO CLUE if therapy works either! Again, I have just always been so energetic and upbeat and somehow just rolled with the punches. I’m not sure rehashing old stuff would do any good – but my new DR saw something in me and suggested it. Here I go as Susan Turner again! HA!

As for Topa in general – I think it’s amazing, but like Sun said, is very subtle. It’s very easy to “drink over it” and I feel that you really need to pay attention to the little “shoves” it is giving you. Like pouring out that last glass in the bottle or leaving your glass behind in another room, etc. Asking yourself if you are really hungry instead of just pouring another glass of whatever. Etc. I can’t tell you how sad I am to be off it. But for the moment, I didn’t feel I had a choice. I think the new DR will give me a script on down the road if I want it. Now that I know about Campral, I know that is not my option right now.

DIZ: You sound like you are getting settled in a bit. I’m looking forward to seeing pictures!

And yes, you may be right about drinking while on Celexa. I’m not drinking more than my “past nastiness”, but I have never combined wine with anything but Topa. I’ll give it time and try to sort it out. If the anxiety continues or gets worse tho – I am stopping it. I’m not used to feeling this odd!

You made me laugh about doing your GFs financials. Yes, I am a numbers person and just have to do that stuff for the shop. Does he (or you) use any software such as Quickbooks? It makes it SO simple and an easy program to learn. Let me know if I can help you in any way … you’ll do just fine.

Sun: You are so funny! Yes, one saying take more, one saying take less. HA! My DR said he will probably suggest 40 mg but wanted to start off slow. I guess I am glad about that. So … I was thinking that you had said that Celexa worked really well for you, rather than Lexapro?

SO excited that you are coming to CA! I’ll plan some time off and I hope Play can come as well! May be hard for her to get time off after being in Spain – yet we are only an hours flight apart. And right – don’t try to quit smoking before you come as I know I will still be smoking. HA! I need to fight this AL before I attack the next addiction.

You are so funny about the dogs and your hubby. You need to train that boy! HA! Charlie has a new routine the past week or so to get me up. I normally wake very early and am waking him up for his breakfast. But with this goofy sleep thing now I am sleeping in until 6 AM or so – which I late for me. LOL So now he comes up on the side of my bed, which is REALLY high with a high bed frame and very thick mattress. So even as big as he is, he can just get his paws and face up. I still sleep on one side of the bed even after all the time living alone, so he can ALMOST reach my face. HA! I wake up to this dog breath and big ol’ tail wags. It’s pretty cute.

So I took yesterday off. Long list of things I was going to accomplish. Damn cravings kicked in. I didn’t get half of my list done and again slept so much on the sofa. Then had problems going to bed and staying asleep. I am HATING where I am at right now but trying to be patient with the Celexa as this is only day 4 and I took it at 800 AM today.

I REALLY need to be eating more and have no appetite. Yesterday I had a can of soup and then ordered a pizza last night. I ate ? a piece and it was all I could do. Drank one Ensure and that was really all I ate all day. That and a few crackers on my desk. Terrible. Today I SWEAR I will get more juices and get back to the All-One.

I did finally do some more research and made some calls on my damn gophers! I have given up trying to trap them myself as I understand there are babies and they can walk right through the traps. So I have a company coming by today to look at the situation. They KNOW I can’t have any poisons, even if they are buried. Just can’t chance it with Charlie. Not cheap! But, it’s making me goofy and one more thing that feels overwhelming to me, so just need to hire professional help. I hope they have some answers!

Best get started with my day and check in with the shop. They have been a bit slow, so dangerous for me as I am able to not go in. Oh well. Perhaps I will do better today and tick off my list more!

With hugs …