New here and starting Topa and with a question

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning All …

OK, I need to make a choice here about this Celexa. I can’t believe how awful it is making me feel!

I am finally sleeping through the night, but had a hard time getting up this morning. Very unlike me. And I even napped yesterday for over an hour.

Now I feel nauseated, have a slight headache and more anxiety. This is NOT fun! I am almost afraid to drink my cup of coffee in that I may get sick.

I drank a bit less yesterday – about 6 glasses from 1130 AM until about 930 PM. I feel like I drank 6 bottles!

And the worst part is that I am not feeling ANY positives from it all yet. Feeling sad and overwhelmed with life right now. Impossible to work. Every little thing seems monstrous to me to accomplish right now.

I don’t know which way to turn and wonder if I should even try and take this again this morning. I have a facial appointment this morning at 900 and I’m not sure I can even get my bum in the shower to dress for it.

The depression feels bad but feeling like on top of it??? Not sure I can ride this out until Monday. Did anyone have these symptoms on ADs when still drinking???

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WTE - I don't think celexa is the right one for you. You shouldn't feel like that - even allowing for SE's - you need to change to a different one. I would stop taking it. Or just take a half. Call your doc on Monday and tell him and see about a different one - Google and check them all out.....

feel better - hugs to you :l:h

love, sun X

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yes, I am supposed to call him on Monday to report in. I could handle this a bit better if the depression and anxiety would let up a bit! And if my appetite would come back a bit!

I?ve Googled all over the place and am SO confused! I?m afraid to try Effexor because it REALLY warns about not drinking with it ? and I still drink. Also, it can?t be stopped quickly like Celexa can. That scares me too ?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Off to work..... you are not supposed to drink on any of them WTE - they ALL say that - LOL.

Enjoy your facial...

Sun X

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Quick post, I take Zoloft and love it, and of course they all say not to drink with it, just don't drink toooo much along with taking things like Xanax and pain pills and sleeping pills.

Wuth, about the heat and airconditioning, I just returned from Spain and we have the same problem there, so for the last 6 weeks we have been absolutely miserable in the apartment during the days and nights, my daughter's husband refused to get airconditioning for the last three years because it doesn't look good, so now with the new baby my daughter is having a melt-down, he finally gets the air-conditioner installed, it is fabulous, makes no noise, vented to the outside, hardly notice it in the wall, takes the water out of the air and it just goes out into the rain vent, it cools the entire flat, now even the husband is wondering why he was so silly that he waited three years to get it.

Sounds like you are all doing good, i've become so far behind it's impossible to respond to all of the posts but I'm trying to read and at least catch up with what's going on with everyone. It's really nice to see so many new posts, please keep up with the great sharing, we all appreciate it.

Sun and WTE, can't WTE to see you both, and hey a cruise one of these days sounds fun!
love,
play

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning Everyone!!

Play!! Thats my exact point with the AC... we dont need it too often here, but not having it and torturing ourselves too me seems silly, plus makes me all that more homesick for my other home. lol! And I can imagine how much worse that would be in Spain!! Glad you are feeling better from your jetlag bty. I have heard that Zoloft is good as well, and the xanax does wonders. Melatonin is wonderful for me to sleep, so i have never needed anything else. And yes, the cruise would be fun, right? Can you imagine how we might drive the crew a little nutty with all our topadopa?? He he he...
WTE.....I sooo hope you are feeling better. Are you still taking your med? It sounds like you are not compatable with it. I used to take good old prozac before i was diagnosed bipolar, and it made me very happy and gave me alot of energy. So much so that my family ganged up on me and made me stop taking it. They thought it wasnt natural. By the way, i forgot to tell you that I am not Jewish, I do alot of sale shopping, couponing, and pride myself on getting good deals when i am in the states. Here i have no chance of that, except the end of season sales. I save money for more important endeavors, such as plane tickets and cruises!! LOL! Oh, and little splurges here and there. LOL!!
No, I have never had any of those symptoms on top of taking ADs. I did mention once a bad reaction to a med though, remember? The med made me neurotic! I had to go into a mental hospital, as I couldnt commit to safety, and was there for 24 hours. The other bipolar people there were very crazy and after one day there I talked the doctors into releasing me sooner than the normal 72 hour hold. I wasnt sure I am bi polar and commited myself to never taking another medication for that again. Brain Chemistry is very sensitive and the testing far too expensive to find out whats really wrong, thus, the trial and error method with the meds. When I would feel like I was having the racing thoughts that are common with bipolar, I would have a glass of wine. Self medicating. That escalated to where I am today. And I do believe that Alcohol can make one so depressed that even menial tasks become difficult. Like eating. Spoil yourself today. Go to the beach, a real soul elixir. Pick up some wonderful food, if you dont want to go to a restaurant. When you are picking up your wine and cigs, get some chocolate. My favorite is the Lindt caramel with Fleur de sal.... yumm! But get your favorite.... it definatly does work , against depression. Get a great book, like hunger games, or twilight. (they worked for me) Rent a good movie, and maybe stop googling Ads, this will only make you more anxcious. I also loved the Tudors series.... endless hours where i would sit so enthralled with the same glass of wine, and smoking less! Anyway, take care of you! We love ya darling! ( I am sure I speak for all of us, lol!)
Sun... Yes, believe it or not, it also happened to me. At the cheese counter when I first came here, i tried to order 500 grams of cheese. The woman behind the counter didnt like americans. I told her in High german, I told her in swiss german, i tried around 10 times, and a line was building behind me. She kep saying she didnt understand me. The woman behind me helped. Everyone laughed!! Some just nodded their heads. This went on for 3 years!!!! Just a mean woman.
I laughed when you said that you wish for 40% humidity! YUP!!! In KY, late spring, 95 degrees, 95% humidity, and we have to go to the store. Two steps out of the house and covered with sweat!! We get to the store, and everyone looks like its just any other day! Then there were the tornado warnings, ice storms, brutal winters, freezing rain!!! Talk about extremes!! LOL!! Loved the fireflies though!! And spring and fall were long and just wonderful!!
Hope this post finds all of you well! MIMI must be at a week now! YEYAY!!!!

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh, BTW, WTE, I did read your link to sinclair method..... very interesting. Are you thinking about trying bac out again? Maybe your new doc might prescribe it! I have seen what stuck in la went through in the beginning being on it, it sounded really hard, but he recently reached kind of a switch. He was mad about it too.. lol!
Tomorrow I will be going up to 75 mg on the topa! I am very hopeful to feel even better! Its the weekend, so i have been doing well, 2 or three glasses a day. Mondays are traditionally bad for me, as i go up on the topa, and i seem to have withdrawals(from hubby) since hubby goes back to work. Or because he is not here and i can be sneakier... lol!! (no, that isnt so funny is it?) Oh well, AL is the devil inside our head ,right?

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I havent had time to read right through but just wanted to say to WTE I also take celexa and dont like it, I need to tell my psychiatrist this next time I see her but cant get to see her for over a month. I did tell her last time but she wanted to change my other med instead. I have taken celexa before and felt like I do now, which is not at all good. Yep, getting a shower is a big deal, in fact getting out of bed and doing anything at all is a bloody big deal. I did take effexor and felt much better on it but for some reason my psychiatrist doesnt like it and changed it back to celexa. When I stopped the effexor and changed I didnt have the bad problems I heard abouit. And yes Sun's right, it tells you noit to drink on any of them, apparently alcohol stops them working properly.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi its me again, I am considering giving topa another go, maybe I overeacted, anyway my plan is to make an appointment for an eye test in around 10 days time, I figure if anything is starting to go wrong it will show up then and I will know more where I stand. So I am starting topa again today so wish me luck.

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dear WTE, I'm just trying to catch up on the posts, WOW, what an accomplishment at your doctor appointment, everything went so well and you were incognito at that. Now I guess the Celexa is making you feel really wierd and I do know that every antidepressant has a different effect for each person, one person loves it another person hates it and you have to take different ones until you find the one that fits just right, so just tell the doctor you need to try a few more, and you might give Zoloft a try, you may or may not like it.

love, play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there....
Space, I think it is good that you are trying the Topa again - and also good that you are going to have an eye exam too. Just take the Topa slowly this time - stick to the titration schedule..... are you starting with the 25 mg?

I wonder why your Psy took you off the effexor when it was working for you - that seems a bit daft to me. celexor doesn't work for everyone and this time round although my flat feeling has gone, i don't have that happy feeling I used to get on it but am the lower dose as the FDA won't let folk take the 60mg - well, I know I can't take the 60 'cos it gave me heart arrythmia. I have to go back anyway and have an EKG and see if it is okay on the 40 and if it isn't it will be back to the drawing board anyway for me.

Hi there Wu - I have not tried Nal - apart from one day when a friend gave me some and I took one on the way home from work and did not want a drink when I got home - but am not sure how psychological that was. I haven't read Stuck's thread - maybe I should, but would never try Bac - it scares me with all the SE's and having to keep taking it and if you can't get it, the withdrawals etc.

You do sound as if you are doing really well - 2-3 glasses a day and yes, going up tomorrow sounds good too. I keep forgetting to take my afternoon/evening dose so have only been taking 100mg a day for a while - I MUST remember to take it. And yes, the devil AL IS around - LOL not sure if it is hubby or the AL though - LOL

I too take a melatonin every night and it puts me out like a light - I have never had any trouble sleeping but have taken the mel for years. my M-I-L tried it and it worked for a while for her and it has never worked for my daughter.

That sounds scary being admitted for a 72 hour hold - that would have freaked me out. I am happy that you managed to talk yourself out!!

Your situation in the shop sounded awful - at least everyone was laughing with me and KNEW I was trying and the chap behind the counter was really nice.

Yes, the weather here is really humid - but like you I love the fireflies. Really love watching them go up and up and up...... and they have different lights for different signals too - did you know that?

And we tend to just get to the point where we ignore the tornado warnings which is not good really. I think once, when we had three dogs and about 6 cats I actually did take dogs, cats and kids (2) down to the cellar 'cos the sky was SO green and the weather was so scary that day. Took me for ever to round everyone up though. I will wake in the night and hear the siren and roll over and go back to sleep - LOL. one day it will come back and bite me in the rear end!

We rarely have spring any more and rarely have fall either - it seems to go from winter to summer and summer to winter. I love when we can have the windows open but it happens so rarely these days.

Play - nice to see you post and I really enjoyed our chat last night with WTE. I think our trip is going to be a good one. For everyone else - we are going to visit WTE 4th september for four days !! I am so looking forward to it !! I am really looking forward to meeting you both. Folk at work ask who I am going to see and I say friends and they ask how I know you both - it is sort of an awkward question but I have thrown caution to the winds and I tell them "on line" and they are gobsmacked. Of course they have no idea where on line !!!!

Anyway - I am going to get going - not planning on doing much but I think I should be doing something - LOL. can't seem to get motivated today.

Hugs, Sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sun, I have just taken my first 25mg topa, thats what I took last time, I didnt get above 25mg but I will feel better when I get my eyes tested, I am terrified of that se. Stragely bac se's didnt worry me, thats until I felt like I was going mad, lol. The weather is very weird, today we had thunder and it was dark most of the day then torrential rain. I opened the curtains this afternoon but there was really no point because it was so dark outside. I am lucky where I live as I am on pretty high ground with the river below us but some people here have bad flooding, just in one day they have their houses filled with water.

I dont know if any of you have read my own thread about what has happened in my family. Anyway it is still happening and now my cousin has got the right to my aunts bank account because she asked my brother to do it but he couldnt be bothered and sighned it over to the theiving cousin, he did is because the only other relative in the country is me and he dosent like me, long story about me having my youngest son, him and his wife suggested I should get him ado[pted and then ignored him totally when they saw him and told me it was because they didnt agree with me claiming benefits of their taxes to pay for him. So we didnt speak for quite a few years. Now I am polite for the sake of my mum but I really cant fucking stand them, if I had a neice would want to be part of her life and help her not tell her to go to the authorities to get help. Sorry went compleately off track there.

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Gang,
So, i think i have finally made it through the last eight pages of posts, its so wonderful to see so many people posting here, not because you all have problems but because you have all found a place that you feel so comfortable and accepted, WTE is the one who arranged all the sofas and chairs that you find so cozy:h

When I first joined this thread last year just before christmas, it seemed that there really seemed to be no people who were trying Topa, everything was Bac, and Sun was really almost the only person keeping the thread going. Occasionally Bruun and Houtx would show up along with WTE, and other people would come and go and Sun and I at times were afraid that the thread would not even survive, then along came Space and Dizz, and Mimi and then Wu and others, so please keep posting, long posts, we love it.

Mimi, I'm so glad you are posting again, please hang in there.

Space, I'm really glad you are going to see the eye doctor, I'm really pretty sure there is nothing wrong with your eye more than eye strain and also I know the Topa does cause the eyes to get more dry so we all need to use lubricating drops which I have found to feel really good and have made my eyes really more comfortable.

Dizz, you guys are doing great, I never thought it would be going so well, I'm really so happy for both of you, I'm starting to like BF!

And yes Sun, I'm just waiting to tell my daughter (the one that lives here near me) that I am going to meet a couple of friends that I met online, and believe me, this girl will not stop asking questions

So, I arrived home about 1AM Thursday morning and was absolutely exhausted, the flights were both delayed, no real problems but long and tiring. Then of course I was unable to sleep more than a few hours, and that same day my younger daughter had to leave on a long business trip to Africa and she was also very emotional (she has an underlying fear of flying), so we were both a mess. Also that same day I worked an evening shift and got home at 1:15AM and again didn't sleep good, that took me up to Saturday, I was so tired all day and at least I went to bed at 9Pm and got up at 7AM.

So, I am in absolute culture shock and terribly depressed, I guess this is my turn to vent. I have spent the last six weeks in Spain holding my 4 month old grandaughter every day, giving her a bath, taking care of my 4 year old grandson, seeing my daughter, just being part of a family, and now BOOM, i am back home totally alone, it is quite a shock. I live alone and i'm used to it and fine with it but it is just a shock plus being tired.

And then there is the culture thing, in Spain, even with the economy, the streets are like velvet, the people are friendly, the taxi drivers are courteous, there is no trash on the sidewalks, people are so sweet to their children, their is no gun violence!!!!!!!

Then I get home: the sidewalks are broken and perilous, the streets are full of potholes, the people are not friendly, the taxi drivers are playing blaring music and the cars are falling apart, people on the buses are yelling at their babies and dragging their children around, and at the movie theatre in Denver 14 people have just been shot to death and 40 injured (or something like that), I am in complete culture shock, it's like this country is just not civilized or something.

So, I'm super, super, depressed, I hope I start feeling better in the next few days because I can't remember when I have felt this bad in many years, probably since my divorce from my 2nd husband when I finally started going to therapy and taking an antidepressant. And by the way, it was Prozac and I think it saved my life. I later changed to Zoloft because the Zoloft made me feel too nervous.

Ok, I'm also worried about money, I'm going to work as much as I can this month. I work "per diem", so my schedule is not set, that is why I can come and go when I want to, but now I need to catch up to pay the rent. I also will be going back to Spain in October when my daughter will finally have her hip surgery and will need to save money for the rent for the two months that I am gone.

Well, I suppose that is enough venting from me for now. Thank you all for listening, I'm sure it will help. I am going to try to take a walk around the lake and then watch a movie and get a good nights sleep.

love you all:h
Play

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey All ?

Play ? was fun to chat with you and Sun yesterday! Can?t wait for our visit all together! Houtx actually called me last night and I invited her as well. But I doubt she will make it as school will be beginning.

As for Zoloft ? hell, I have looked at ALL of them! I think I am just drinking too much to be taking any of these. I?m back to 6-8 glasses a day and I am pretty sure THAT is the biggest part of the issue. Have a feeling I need to get this AL under control better before I even think about an AD again. And I still sense that it is the AL that may be causing much of my depression. Heck if I know! I?ll be speaking to my DR tomorrow about it all.

A cruise! I am NOT a cruise fan but I hear they have really fun ones down to Mexico. Cheap from here. A MYO cruise!

I hope you are feeling better by now. It IS culture shock to return home ? I understand after being abroad. Glad you are taking some down time for yourself and hopefully you will settle in again soon. Money issue are the WORSE! I?m so sorry, but I have faith that you are strong enough to pull yourself back up with finances as well mentally. {{HUGS}}

Like my DR story? HA! Good grief ? what hoops we jump through! LOL

WU - No, I stopped on Saturday ? just could not handle it. It?s like having the flu and drinking 6 bottles of wine when I got up in AM.

And I was just kidding about the Jewish comment! HA! And I have nothing against Jewish people ? you just cracked me up when you made that comment.

Can?t even imagine a 72 hour lock down! That would scare the hell out of me!

I tried grocery shopping yesterday and wandered the aisles endlessly for something that sounded good to eat. I ended up with yogurt and cottage cheese. HA! I am not one to eat sweets much. I may eat chocolate once or twice a year. But I did have a relaxing day yesterday and again today, although I feel I have not accomplished as much as I should have. Always beat myself up over that ? endlessly. It?s the AL.

I?m and avid reader ? that and books on audible on my Ipod. Lots on my Kindle (yikes Sun ? the K WORD! HA!) Funny, when I feel good I read a lot, and when feeling like this it?s hard to pick up a book. There used to be a time I could spend 8+ hours in my garden working with my IPod and listening to a book. Just so hard to get motivated to do ANY THING these days ? including work.

And no WU, I would not try Bac. Scares me to hell. Houtx tried it and it was spooky! But I guess I am kind of re-thinking TSM and Nal (?) Honestly, I just don?t kiow which way to turn right now ?

WU, you are doing great! OH how I wish I could go back to Topa!

SPACE ? So good to hear from you. I wonder why your DR wanted you back o Celexa? And hell. The reality is, I am still drinking so maybe I should just NOT be trying any Ads right now!



And I think it may be a good move to try Topa again (if you can). It works! I don?t understand why I am such SEs on these meds! YUCK!

WOW Space ? I have not read your thread on your family nightmare! OMG! I hope it gets sorted out properly? terrible and sorry you are having to deal with it.

Sun ? Remind me to give you my Celexa when you are here! I know it?s inexpensive, but I still hate to just throw it away. Can?t wait to see you! I?m telling everyone I know you from a ?gardening club? online. HA! Got to thinking about saying we went to school together since I am also from back East, but that British accent would probably not work! HA! HA!

*****

So today has been much better. I suppose it takes a few days to get any med out of your system, but I woke up feeling much more normal. Even got a few hours of work done with financials for the shop, which I had been behind on. And was able to eat a bit better today ? including my All-One. =)

Landscaper Guy called (again) and wants to come and look at my lawn this evening and asked what I felt like for dinner. Have not seen him since the big party. Guess this means I need to shower and dress! Not certain he will be over ? he?s to call in an hour or so. I have a 730 AM appointment in the morning so the kid is NOT spending the night! HA! Besides ? there is that Celexa ?side effect?. What?s up with that????? HA!

So it?s now almost 5 PM and I have already had 4 glasses of wine. *sigh* Just sipping all day. No buzz .. just that little mellowness I suppose. But I feel lazy again.

Off to cleanup some stuff and shower in case I have company for dinner ?

Love & Hugs to all ? and we are missing some of you!

WTE & C

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey y'all - testing!