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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Have just Googled it and would LOVE to do it !!!!!!

    love Sun XXX
    How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      @ Sun ... short one as I am off to bed soon. LOL See! I told you the caves are COOL! YOu would also have a guide and be with a group. I would join you in a single kayak (unless I get a date HA!)

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        WTE, re: Wellburtin its totally different ball game than Celexa. With Celexa patients like it or dislike it, Wellburtin they aither pretty much love it or hate it. And I loved it for the whole 3 hours (the speed, the energy) wow !!! unfortunately the crash that followed was something that I wasn't looking forward to experience anymore.

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Good Morning Everyone!!
          WTE... thank you for your reply!!! you are so right!! Gosh, and what a story!! That must have been very hard on you! It can be very difficult to tell when people are on it... just strange. Emotions all over the place, and then the paranoia... I had one short experience with it. when my moms health was failing, my cousin came to help out. the whole time she was there, i didnt know who i was coming home to, Dr Jeckle or Mr. Hyde. and thats that I didnt know she was on it! We didnt find that out until she was home again a couple months later!
          The Wellbutrin you may be going on was good for me, but it was a long time ago that I was on it. Before I started it, before I started drinking. It gave me alot of energy,and did take the edge off. Didnt make me excessively happy like the prozac did. Could be a very good choice!! I too feel that AL caused my depression, but I had to get it under control. I feel so much better with my effexor. at least taking a shower is no longer stressful... ya know? I used to have times when i couldnt remember the last time... terrible!
          Very nice pic of Charli by the way... can we share? he looks sooo sweet!!!

          Dizzy.... Your BF sounds really Sweet! Its also nice that you are feeling better.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Vi6XtB5hY[/video]]The Queen's Palaces - Windsor Castle - 1 of 2 - YouTube here is a really nice video about windsor castle, including alot of history, as well as showing off some of the things inside. I hope you enjoy it!

          Imagine.... Its so nice to meet you! You really made me laugh with the flat tire thing!! I tried buying my Light italian sparkling wine in small cans for portion control, but that taste was almost unbearable! I had to switch back to bottles, so now i sometimes have more that I want, but .. cest la vie. I am only taking 75 mg of topa so far. Any way welcome!!

          Sun.. Sooo glad you are feeling better!! And I bet you are really looking forward to you time in sunny california! Kayaking sounds like fun too! I sure hope you all have a good time!

          Hubby isnt thrilled with the idea with me leaving. In fact quite the opposite. Yesterday he accused me of wanting to go so I can drink more... silly man. I can actually drink less, as he doesnt come home. Plus I would be on the AB, somthing I would prefer to do in private, as I know me, and i might even try to have one drink, just to see.... lol!!!!! But i know that i would ttdp, as i have read on some other threads. I am starting to feel a little like a prisoner here. I was back up to my two bottles yesterday, i have now been here for 3 months, which is always my homesick point. last year i left on the 23rd of August. This year I cant do that as I have a wedding in Italy on the 28th. Ironically I was looking at Sept. 4th as my return date. Hubby must change his mind. gggrrrrr!!! vI dont want to end up not liking him anymore........
          Well, love and hugs to all!!! XXOO

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Hi there

            Well, my mood is still on this up since I went back to my normal dose of Topa and cut down on the drinking. I think bf is a bit confused but even he is seeing the benefits in terms of what meals he's getting and how much more energy I have to keep him on his toes in the bedroom. LOL!

            I made a Shoulder of lamb in a mint sauce with roast potatoes and green beans. I know it was mid week but this man LOVES his meat and potatoes so I thought I'd treat him to a great meal just to say thanks. He had 2.5 ciders and I ended up having one but thats OK, much better than usual. Besides, its hard to drink after such a heavy and yummy meal.

            Thanks Wu for the link, I'm downloading it so I can watch it with bf, we must still go inside, its 18 pounds per person, which is a bit steep but if we wait a month, he'll have his local citizens card so he'll get in for free. Its not like we don't have the money but we're both 'bargain bitches' and love to see who can save the most on certain things LOL. But other times we just say screw it and have a fun night out.

            So, you're in Switzerland and your family you want to visit are in the US? I just want to make sure I'm getting this right. Don't be scared of the Antabuse. You can have one drink on it (make sure its got low alcohol content like 5% or so) if you want to test its powers but then for the love of everything good, wait half an hour before you do anything else. You will notice you start feeling anxious and flushed and not good. Now is the time you have to drink a good glass of water, pull yourself together and say 'Right, I took this for a reason and I'm sticking to my guns. And besides, every time I pour more AL into me, I'm going to feel worse and worse.' And then when you've had enough you have to ride out 4 or 5 days for it to get out of your system but every day you don't have AL, it actually gets easier and easier, especially with the AB retraining your brain to associate AL with feeling 'bad' as upposed to feeling 'good.'

            Sunny, glad you're feeling better. I'm really surprised your boss is so mean about taking time off sick considering the environment you work in. I would have just thought its more like a team and a community, not a Hitler run regime where no one is allowed to get sick! Geez, places I've worked people always use up their sick days even if they're not sick.

            My camera is a digital SLR, nothing too fancy, but I got it for half price so got double my money's worth I love it though is its SO much better than my previous one. The lens is just so much bigger so it allows for a lot more light to enter, which means you hardly ever have to switch on the flash and I HATE flash photography, it makes everything looks so fake.

            WTE
            , Jealous of you guys having your little adventure with the kayaking, you must enjoy it! Wellbutrin does give some people energy but I'm sure you saw on that forum that everyone REALLY IS different. So its worth a shot but please dont take 300mg on your first day, especially not if you're planning to drive or go to work. It will have some effect on you and there is no telling quite what it will be yet. Hopefully good! Fingers crossed.

            Have a great day everyone,

            :h

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Hi Dizzy! I have an Apartment in Las Vegas, and so when I get homesick, which is typically in the fall, as I hate the cold... lol..... i normally go home to Vegas. I was trying to figure out a way to stay here, and find a job so i dont go so stir crazy over here, but my family might need me, plus there is a huge waiting list to get child care, and I am already homesick. My hubby doesnt want me to go back and is losing his patience with me since i made this decision to try to quit drinking, which i find odd, since it was my decision, and he has never known me not to drink 2 bottles a day.... lol! Except when I was pregnant. He even would cause me to drink more when he felt like drinking a bottle of red with dinner. Suddenly now he doesnt drink at all... lol... Funny thing is, today, I have no craving at all for wine, none whatsoever. I even poured myself a glass. It tasted completely discusting. Now normally when i am upset, as I currently am with hubby for keeping me trapped here like this, The taste wouldnt bother me. I am wondering if its because of my 3rd day on 75...... hm...

              Did you by chance order the AB online? I cant take the chance in the states of having it on my record. Otherwise I will have to pull a WTE!!! hehehe....
              18 pounds to get in?? Thats alot!! I am a bit of a bargain hunter myself!! I definitely understand! Your photo is really beautiful caught at the perfect time of day. Oh, and your dinner sounded yummy!!
              Bravo you for stopping at one!!!! and you sooooo made me laugh at having more energy.... ahum.... lol!!!! Maybe thats why i get homesick when I am here. So much is really alcohol based here. Coming up we have the churer festival, something like 8 bands playing all over the old city, alot of the streets blocked off. Something like october fest but with all kinds of music. After that we have schlager parade Schweizer Schlagerparade thats at the end on sept. then we have honky tonk, where all bars in chur have live bands all weekend, then well, we have festival after festival, and everyone just drinks waaaayyy too much all the time. Now I am officially becoming a hermit.... lol!

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Hi Wu,

                I think the Topa is starting to work for you and I think that if you are at the point where drink doesnt appeal to you that much you are ready to add some Antabuse and maybe set a goal to do 30 days AF? I did it twice and I cant tell you how much healthier it made me feel. The first week is tough but after that it gets easier and easier and you feel healthier and energetic and capable to actually deal with emotions and help other people (which you will have to do if you are going to see your family)

                I have had a prescription but good lord the real thing is expensive, rather order the very cheap, generic and very efficient version off | medical and pharmaceutical articles at goldpharma

                You made me laugh with this bit: "and you sooooo made me laugh at having more energy.... ahum.... lol!!!! Maybe thats why i get homesick when I am here." :H Had me wonder for a second.

                You know what after being on Topa and possibly AB for a while and having some AF time behind you, you will be able to go to festivals and enjoy it without drinking. There are even times where you will stop envying the people drinking but start looking at the drunk ones and feel sorry for them. And you will realise how boring drunk people are at parties when you're sober...

                Anyway, I have to write a radio ad for a conference and radio ad and I'm really procrastinating here so let me at least TRY to get started

                :l

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Morning All ?

                  Imagine: Welcome to our little living room! =) You?ll find some wonderful people and great support here. Have you looked at how many pages this thread is before you start reading? LOL

                  Diz: I?ve been doing a lot of reading on the Wellbutrin. Most people don?t state which one they are taking. I DID find another site where people are saying they found the XL much more effective than the SR and ARE taking it twice a day.

                  I am TERRIFIED to take this stuff! HA! I am barely feeling normal again and don?t want to feel messed up again. I think I will wait for the weekend when I am off and start with ? doses. I can?t miss any more work. Thank you and Hugs!

                  Glad to hear you are feeling better! And more energy ? that?s what I need!

                  Bac: Thanks for the input! Yes, I just don?t think any AD in the Celexa family is for me. Did you continue on it and was it the XL or the SR? Sounds like you took it once a day?

                  Sun:
                  Funny about the hair. I normally wear mine up as it?s so fine and fly away. But I have to put ?product on it and then blow dry it. With really short hair I was done with the blow dryer, hot rollers, etc. I have a color appointment on Saturday for my high/low lights and see what he says. This is a new guy I was referred to.

                  WU:
                  Yeah, this whole thing is a nightmare. I REALLY don?t want to be on an AD, but must do something! I took it about 15-16 years ago but only for 5 days as I felt SO spacey on it. I certainly didn?t give a chance but stopped it. I have no clue if it was the generic or not and don?t remember if it was XL or SR. I don?t remember ANY SEs from it other than the space out effect.

                  And yes, Charlie is a doll. Share away! HA!

                  Sounds like you have made the choice to take the trip? Too bad about your hubby and being upset with you. How long will you stay for? I hope he gets over it ?

                  And it DOES sound like the Topa is working for you! Right on! And I salute you for seriously considering the AB ? but I wouldn?t try and drink on it! I took some med (don?t remember what) after my hysterectomy and they told me ?Don?t drink AL with this or you will get really sick?. Well, I did anyways and about a ? glass of wine and I was SOOOO sick. Thought my insides were coming up! Yuck. Just be careful and follow Diz?s advice as she knows well the experience.

                  *******

                  Well my DRs Assistant confirmed with the pharmacist that it was right ? 150 mg twice a day of the XL. I am wondering IF she really went to the DR and asked him or not. Like I said above, I think I will start at a half dose and see how it goes.

                  Funny SE for many on this stuff is increased libido! Now what am I going to do with that?? HA! Have more landscaping done? LOL

                  Poured out the last of the wine from yesterday to not be tempted this morning again. Awful. If it?s here ? it?s gone. I feel frustrated as to what to do about that. When I was on Topa and drinking only 2-3 glasses a day I had little to no depression and started to really get some motivation back. I really think it?s the AL messing with me more than anything and really uncertain if an AD and ?talk therapy? are going to resolve anything. But ? I guess worth a shot ?

                  Off to desk for the shop?

                  Love & Hugs all ..

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Okay ladies, no one have a heart attack. I just peeked at the site yesterday, saw the planned get together in So Cal and thought I'd try to reconnect. I have not read much of the threads as yet so don't fully know what is going on with everyone. I'll give you some quick updates for those of you that know me for now.

                    Divorce final - 9 July

                    Boyfriend - Retired from Navy and moved here at the end of January. We moved to a new/bigger house that is much better than the 2 BR apartment I was in. Kids get their own BR/BA each when they are here. Same neighborhood, which we love a lot.

                    Haven't been on any meds for a long time. AL is roughly the same as always, but I gained the weight I lost when taking them :sigh:

                    I'll try to catch up with what is going on with everyone, "meet" the new people, etc. and update you guys on me, but I am IN for trying to get together on 4 September.

                    :h

                    Illuminae

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      Wow - well there is a blast from the past !!!! How are you doing illum? Sounds as if everything is good for you anyway - so happy that everything is going well with Zippy still!!! And you and the kids are happy - all is well! I am so happy for you - it is really good hearing from you !!

                      WTE - Hi there - I ALWAYS wear my hair back in a pony tail - same old-same old !! But I hate it on my face. I liked yours the way I saw it in that picture that you sent me of you - it looked nice, but i can understand the not wanting to have to 'do' it all the time - Me? I just brush mine - LOL.

                      I wonder what you will decide to do about the Wellbutrin? I don't blame you for being nervous about it - I think I would be too...... and you might like the one SE that you talked about - after all, landscaper guy does keep texting you - LOL.

                      Hi Diz - the picture, whatever your camera, was really nice - I don't know enough about them to know what lens' do and how they work - mine is a point and click and works for me !

                      Oh - re the kayaking - after three guinness it sounded like a good idea - in the cold light of day this morning (and now, after one Guinness) I am not sure it sounds like such a good idea - LOL. So I might rethink that idea. See what Play thinks of the idea maybe? After three guinness, EVERYTHING sounds like a good idea - am I bad or what!! Can't take me anywhere !!! (well you can - twice - the second time to apologize - LOL)

                      Oh and Diz - my boss really isn't mean - he is fine - he had other stuff on his mind - today he was quite concerned as today I sounded dreadful! Told him I felt great today! I sounded awful though. We do work as a team but I think it threw him just because I did call in. He really is okay - honest!! The other manager there today was amazed at how bad I sounded today too - I told her I felt fine too - said that I felt fine, just had a cold now !

                      Wu - so, when are you planning on coming to the states? You didn't comment on what I had said - I wondered if you had seen it as it was on the previous page....... if you had, then no matter..... how long are you planning on coming for? I had to laugh that your hubs thinks you are coming so that you can drink!!! Yes, I remember all the drinking festivals over there - gosh, one after another. I was telling people at work about folk in German offices having AL in the fridges at work - they could hardly believe me! It really is a whole different culture. Where I work, we are not allowed to have AL in the building. I had bought some Guinness before work one day - the temps were 102 at the time and I was not going to leave it in the car - I was closing that day - so took it in with me to put in the fridge to take home when we left. And wondered if anyone would say anything. It was in a bag, but even so......

                      It sounds as if the Topa is kicking in for you - that is wonderful if it does at 75 mg. I really envy those for whom it kicks in at low doses!!

                      Let us know what happens with your trip and where you are going won't you?

                      I need to get ready for bed -

                      Love and hugs to all,

                      Sun XX
                      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Omg!!!!!! I just lost a whole huge post !!!!!!!ggrrr!!!!!!!!!

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          spilled my heart out for nothing!!!!!

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Hi all

                            I don't have much news. Just still procrastinating over my radio ad and looking forward to the weekend. A friend of bf's coming to stay over on Saturday which I'm not really looking forward to but the poor guy is out of work despite being a brilliant engineer and have been living with his sister and husband who are constantly bickering and their surly teenagers and just needs one night of peace and quiet, so who am I to deny him that.

                            Besides, I do like weekends where I actually have human contact. I did find one yoga class nearby on Thursday nights when bf usually has a boys pub night (I don't like to drink much on Thursdays as then you start the weekend with a hangover and I find it gets worse as it goes along) He can be with me and not drink but after a night at the pub, 4 pints later, it is a bit annoying to deal with him as he is hyper and super chatty and I've just spent a quiet day and want to go to bed at 11/12, whereas he wants to stay up and talk shit until 2... Last night I actually pretended to be asleep just so he would shut up about whether the capitilist monetary system will survive after all.

                            Sorry Wu, we always advocate typing in Word or copying the message before posting as this website does have a tendency to make you sign in at the worst of times. Just ask Houtx... :l

                            WTE, you can actually get a feel of what dose people are taking if you look at the DURATION/DOSAGE column. There is also a Advanced search feature where you can type in, for example, everyone's results who are female, over 40, have been taking it for less than a month, or whatever your criteria is. Very smart tool. From what I see though some people start at 150 and some start at 300. All I know is I started at 150 and it took me a month to move up so I would just try it for 2 or 3 days and if you're fine then go with what the doc said.

                            Sun
                            , I have this image of you kayaking after having 3 Guinness and it made me giggle. The photo had a lot to do with the right time of day as the sun was hitting the lower windows of the castle, making them appear golden. It was about 8 at night but as you know it gets dark quite late here in Summer.

                            :welcome: Illuminae or I guess its a welcome back.

                            Let me at least *try* and work. Looks like we're in for a lovely sunny weekend, a rare occurence, do you have the same over there, Space
                            ? How's the topa working for you this time?

                            Love and hugs to all and have a great weekend if I don't get to check in again.

                            :h

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              SUN..... I would live in my apt.. in las vegas.... oh... about the festivals. My first job here. I got it quite by accident. I ran out of cigs, and was watching the last game of the world cup in soccer. dont know anything about it, but put some money on france in the beginning, and that was the year they ended up in the last game. I think against germany. anyway, i went to a restaurant, and they invited me to stay, knew exactly who i was, and bought me a glass of wine. in the end, i lost my bet, which would have been a large gain, and we chatted at the community table after the kicks had to decide the game as no one had scored. it was 2006. i had previously been watching on a chat board. too cheap to pay for cable in german.. yuck!! anyway... they offered me a job, and my first day, someone offered me a drink, so i knew they wanted me to get something, and i chose coffee. bAD CHOICE!! I was supposed to get wine!!! to toast with!! so they could learn my name!! ok... second job! there, i could get champagne or a cocktail, to make the cant remember the word... in english... topa dopa... we will call it right now intake.... bigger. within a week, i had thirteen glasses of champagne on thirteen tables around the room!! i thought this was the strangest thing i had ever heard of!! to me it felt like some type of cabaret. well, i later found out, that my boss had had sex with someone in the basement, and she was also blond, so they thought i was her... just lovely! It also made my alcohol consumption worse for awhile..... lol! oh, and i also learned how wonderful really good champange is! lol! ok, onto the real theme here.
                              My plan was to get mom to make sis move to vegas, which had a few positive points. She would have had some time before the case was transfered. therefore, with no use, her hair would have been clean. her and BFs circle of friends are removed, therefore some temptation removed. My brother knows this when he sees it and will control it as he hates it, but mum doesnt know really.
                              Brother will keep BF in check, and BF will have the fear of God when he meets him. If it gets to the point that kids are taken away, i am there to take them, as no one else i'm my entire family can so they will go into foster care, for months if not years. Even mom cant take the kids so taking them to nevada would be necessary and i am not moving over there. Too much stress over there. i have no mortgage and we own our apartment and my daughter goes to school for free in nevada. will explain later, but its not welfare. I may need to go back a bit. I tried to talk mom into moving to nevada. Bf is not living with them since they took the kids when she delivered. he is not even allowed visitation. he has two other daughters that he had with another woman, and both of them have been adopted out. one while he was with my sister. My mom had to move across the country to try to help him keep visitation of the last one while my sister was pregnant, but he lost her anyway, always dropping dirty once they moved back. since then Child protective services was in sis life, and she chose to go against orders and have him live with her, and their daughter, and get preg again, and use again. He is living with a friend, and going through a day program, and she is going to church, and some support groups. the house looks like a crack house , thats what i see in skype. Last time i was there i cleaned, and i could see it. My parents have alot of rentals, though seperately, and i renovate alot. I saw it when i was there. Big boxes full of trash mixed with dirty clothes, mixed with things no one meant to throw away (last post i was much more specific). The whole house was full of thing like it, and they both apologized profusely. Told them both no problem.....but I was thinking... really????? Now, i am nothing like a perfectionist. I am a pig compared to most of the women here. I leave the sheets on way too long... and well, if i dont feel like doing the dishes i dont. they can wait. I just dont care. I am not sure my effexor is really working now that i think about it. I think what makes me happier is knowing the good people on this board..... and the time that i switched up to 150 mg was when i started posting. Gosh, the post i lost was so much better than this one. I am wondering right now where this whoole thing started, with me? the depression strarted with my exhusband, with his going out, with his one day having smoked something, which may have been crack, or something.. and he came home whith his shirt inside out as i was very pregnant. i didnt drink ever at that point. but i hatet every time he went out alone. that continued. all the time, and after my pregnancy i took prozak. i was very happy at that time, and just wanted to be a good housewife, and thought i was the bad one... not normal.... but when i was on prozac, i just told him..... him, and meaning it... have fun honey.. i hope you have a good time!! and waved! my family ganged up on me and made me stop. i guess if i am bipolar, it made me a little manic, for if i am manic, i am only a little.. but i do have a little of the racing thoughts.. too much so to write. lol, no wonder you think i am crazy.. i think too fast. (Thats for diz) Thats why you were confused for a moment perhaps. I will just let you ponder that. ok, too many phone calls now.... will get back to it late .......

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                LOL Wu, I'm Bipolar, dealing with my own racing thoughts, memory problems from AL and inability to focus, and THATS why I was confused.

                                OK, that and I am an editor and I really like it when people use lots of paragraphs... Please don't kill me for saying that, everyone else will probably laugh as they know I have a bug bear about it. I think its more my inability to focus than the editor in me, I cant read long paragraphs without pasting it in word and physically splitting it up. :H

                                Sorry, I have to go, will comment on the rest later.

                                :l

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