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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Tonight Ive had 1 lager, I didnt really even want that but for some reason I need to drink it anyway, so I had a long bath and took the lager into the bath with me, I havent wanted anymore since and havent had anymore. After an awful start to the day I finally got out in the garden and spent half the afternoon there, I havent done anything in the garden for weeks and it was so overgrown so its looking lots better now, and Im feeling lots better

    Since Im not taking topa I m taking campral which is prescribed by my doc and low dose of baclofen, I also still take gabapentin which is prescribed to me and does seem to help my mood, so I need to take it up to bed with me so I can take it as soon as I wake up of a morning as that is my worst time of day, or rather wake up of an after noon as it has been but I so want to change that.

    WTE, I wish I could do or say something to help you, I just dont know what to say. Ive never taken Wellbutrin so I cant say anything about it, its not licenced for use as an AD here but is used as a stop smoking aid. I dont know if you smoke an want to stop but if so that could be something to think about regarding it.

    Im glad your feeling better Sun even tho you still have the cold.

    Wu, I agree with Sun, dont make any decisions right now, you dont have to do anything this weekend, right? so try to take a rest from all the worrying about your future if you can and leave it until your feeling better yourself, things may look a lot clearer in a couple of days.

    And Dizzy, it seems ages since we had a chat, we both used to come on of a morning and now were both not posting as much, Ive missed our little chats.

    Love you all xx

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Hi Y'all -
      It's been a few days since I last posted, been keeping up the reading, just not too much to add. I've been on the usual rollercoaster of Life...thinking I'm doing ok then something happens or not, and I feel the pitiful "I suck at Life" feelings. UGH - why does it have to be so fucking hard?!! WTE - no offense at all about your comments to my last statement. You make good sense and I appreciate your insight and caring. More on this after a few comments:

      Welcome Imagine! You sound like a neat person, under control & got it 'gwan on. Good for you to recognize your habit might become an addiction and doing something about it. PLease keep us posted about your process.

      WU - I join the others hoping you will start making more paragraphs as you write! LOL I LOVE your posts, just hard to get thru without a visual break. I am SOOOOOOO sorry about your family problems and have no clue what to say. Your poor nieces and nephews and mother!! My thinking is if you are the only responsible one and have the means to do it, perhaps coming back to the states for awhile may be your moral obligation. But if it's more than you can take on...then you can say at least you tried. There are plenty of social services and resources available to you and your family. God forbid those children should go into foster care, but I'm not sure I could take on a bunch of kids just b/c my sister & her dead-beat, drug-assed bf can't be responsible.

      I say ship him the hell outta there, put your sister in serious rehab and get some help for your mother and the children. Sounds like you have the financial resources to do whatever needs to be done, so I am relieved on that front for you. Good luck - keep us posted! Your trevails w/ your hubby are very curious. Sounds like you have a good relationship and yet he doesn't really trust you, wrestles with you over the bottles of Prosecco, etc. Sometimes a little hard to follow. Hang in there but do what you know you need to to do. If he truly loves you, and if the relationship is good, it will survive this crisis...good luck!!

      Play - glad you are back on home ground. Wish I could join the partay in Sept., but alas, I really don't think I can swing it.

      Sunny -hope you're feeling better so you can go kayaking!! LOL
      DZ
      - loved your photo and all the updates about your new life with the bf. I am so impressed with your resolve to be mostly sober, the cooking and how sweet the bf is. So happy for you. I know there are some frustrations, but sounds good overall - hang in there!
      Illum
      - long time no hear from! Glad you chimed in and sounds like alls well w/ you. Give us a nice long one soon! Glad for your continued happiness!

      WTE
      - Hope the Wellbutrin works out!! Wish I could come join in on the visit, but like I said above, I don't see a way. You are so funny about the libido spike...I've heard just the opposite! But hope Landscaper Guy will be your ticket to ride in a pinch! LOL I'm not worried about you finding a man...hell you can always just get married!! Sheesh - what a story!! Anyway, I'm sorry about all this shit with the TOPA and NAL...maybe medical science will find a cure for us at some point!! I hope so!!

      Me, I'm just being the same lush as ever. I have not been very good "hiding" it from my daughter, not that I've really tried. I just drink every night and try to go to bed at a reasonable hour so as to not appear drunk. But it's obvious mom drinks wine every freaking night, glass after glass after glass. She usually takes a long bath and then goes to her room to hang out & be on her computer. It's been pretty low-keyed all summer. I've really felt like I was just being ok. But last night, I went to Galveston w/ some girlfriends for one of their birthdays. I am strapped for money, and yet once a month they pick these HUGELY expensive restaurants when I plead for mercy. This one the entrees were $25 - 45...plus they ordered an expensive appetizer to share and "we" decided to pick up the tab for the BD girl's dinner. The lovely evening cost me $100 & I was PISSED. Oh well. I got home at 11:30 to find a damn mess. My daughter had ordered pizza and didn't bother to put away the leftovers, the sink was full of dishes I'd asked her to wash, and her DIY project was still on my DR table.

      I was NOT drunk - had maybe 4 glasses of wine. I started ranting about the mess, she came out of her room, accused me of being drunk, and then started to walk out of the house to drive an hour away to her dad's. I stopped her, we got into an argument...me being very adamant I was not drunk and she was not doing her part, etc. She wound up calling her dad at midnight: "Dad, can I come out there?!...because I want to...yeah...yeah...yes...yes...ok...ok...awright, bye" blah blah blah. He told her to wait until today. But I could tell his response was "Is it your mother? Is she drunk?" Fucking asshole. He just LOVES it that she calls him and he can be the hero.

      I was just SICK. So mad, disappointed, hurt...could barely get to sleep, woke up several times, sick to my stomach. Brought her coffee this morning & said let's talk. I went over my position again, that I was ticked off about spending so much money on dinner, was NOT drunk, and was mad when I came home to a mess. Also asked her to please try and do damage control with her dad, that he fed on that kind of information, and she was being unfair to me. She was ok, but never apologized and I was just kindof in a funk all day. They had lunch together, then she went out to his house ( an hour away) late this afternoon and is spending the night. I apologized for being such a bad mother and she said "You're Not!!" but I sure am sick of her taking advantage of me and then running to her dad when things don't go her way or she gets upset or mad. I dunno - hard to get over. I'm pissed off and still upset. Feel like I was undermined and made to feel like a failure. My daughter has been living the high life around here all summer and it pisses me off she reacted like that after one reprimand. We will still have some discussion about it.

      She will come back tomorrow, my son is coming in from Dallas, and her BF is trying to get off work so we can go out to my gf's country house for a nice relaxing weekend. I was so looking forward to it until this shit happened. UGH!!!!!!!!

      But I am enjoying a night of solitude, of course having wine, but I'm so pooped, am about to turn in with my book. I hate it when this shit happens and I am made to confront my alcoholism!! I'd LOL, but it's not funny. Yes, I need to do something, but just am not going to go down the TOPA road right now.

      I'll probably not be on for a few days, except to read your stuff. My gf has a computer out there, but not sure I'll risk it...hugs & sniffs to all!!

      XO

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Space - always love your posts too! You've been struggling a lot lately and my heart goes out to you. My daughter also likes to take long baths...at least twice a day. You made me smile with that and then saying you went out and spent the afternoon in your garden! All clean and fresh only to get all hot & sweaty again. Fuuny! But happy you are up & about doing something that lifts your spirits & gives you some vitamin D :-)) Me, I need a big ol' dose of Vitamin F, but probably won't happen anytime soon!! Living vicariously thru DZ & WTE!! LOL

        Hope all continues to go well for you, my dear ~ hang in there! Sorry if I didn't mention other recents...next time!
        XO

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Imagine - I do have the book and am happy to e-mail it to you - PM me your e-mail address and I can do so.

          I need to get to bed - closed tonight and am opening tomorrow and need to get to bed so sorry not much of a post but have been looking for this - I knew i had it somewhere - LOL. I copied and pasted so it has sort of come out looking a bit sad but basically the first mg is am and the 2nd is pm....... and the last mg is the total for the day!


          Week 1. 0 mg. 1x25 mg. tablet 25 mg.
          Week 2. 0 mg. 2x25 mg. - tablets 50 mg.
          3. 1x25 mg. tablet 2x25 mg. tablets 75 mg.
          4. 2x25 mg. tablets 2x25 mg. tablets 100 mg.
          5. 2x25 mg. tablets 1x100 mg. tablet 150 mg.
          6. 1x100 mg. tablet 1x100 mg. tablet 200 mg.
          7. 1x100 mg. tablet 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 250 mg.
          8. 1x100 mg. and2x25 mg. tablets 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 300 mg.
          9. 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 300 mg.
          10. 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 300 mg.
          11. 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 1x100 mg and 2x25 mg. tablets 300 mg.
          12. 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 1x100 mg. and 2x25 mg. tablets 300 mg.

          love and hugs to all,

          Sun Xx

          P.S. will post tomorrow - work 9- 5.30- so it won't be til later !!
          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Good Morning Everyone!!

            I am better now! I am so sorry that I tortured all of you yesterday with my rants. I am officially off of the effexor, and feeling better. I decided not to go to the bachlorette party, for a few reasons, those being: access to untold amounts of alcohol might not be so good for me right now, my possible depression might bring party down and its not being held here in my town, so no quick escape, dont want to bring the party down.

            I hope you all know that i never make decisions when drinking, other than to buy ciggarettes. Hubby came home, and we had a good talk, and i am now allowed to go. So as soon as i make up my mind i will book it. I am really not as crazy as you must all be thinking after yesterdays rant.. . but I did have a good laugh this morning thinking of all the funny things you must have thought yesterday. Soo embarrased, but also smiling right now.

            I promise to be better about paragraphs...

            Houxt.... You so made me laugh! Only in my dreams could I ship that losers ass of somewhere, and dont think i havnt thought about it a million times!! And the wrestling over the prosecco bottle?? I am still laughing!! Yup its been a strange week.... I do feel like i am getting closer with the topa if my life wasnt so strange at the moment. Oh, and I spent years being the type of woman that said yes and amen to her man.... not any more. i respect, and expect it back, but dont flat out tell me what to do... that was the trouble this week..... lol!

            I so understand what you men with regards to your daughter. It can be very frustrating that situation, I have a 25 year old too, who also like to use the drunk word with me when its not the case. Its just an age and they think they know everything. I wish you a lot of luck and a really nice weekend with your family!

            Space.... It sounds like you had a nice day yesterday! I love playing in the garden! Oh, and do let us know how the bac and campral work out! I still wish you could take the topa, but i guess with the SEs its just not possible for you. It does sound like you are doing well with AL though, unlike MOI at the moment. Well, I am considerably calmer now, and expect this week shall be better. I have even checked out the AB for delivery to the states. I dont dare risk it again to this address after the topa they confiscated.

            WTE...... LOVED your post regarding how you look at the weather. I am going to replace san diego with las vegas, have it blown up, framed, and hang it on the wall here in swissland to remind hubby why i like it so much over there.. LMAO!

            Good job on jumping!! I really hope its going to work well for you and make you feel better! Sorry about your faux pas at the Gynos though.... just lovely!!

            Funny you mention Greece! Last summer I went to a wedding there, and also spent a week. The night before the wedding, we all went to an apero (cocktail before dinner) on the beach. No wine avail, so we were drinking cocktails. The greeks were measuring the coke instead of the rum.... like splashing the coke. We never made it to dinner. Everyone ended up swimmiing in the pool singing except me. I gave my camera to the car dealership owner and told him to take some pics, as everyone was trying to throw me in... in the morning i had a camera full of pics of peeps in thier undies and video of people singing greek wine in the pool. greece is a crazy place!! lol!

            Imagine... nice to have you here!! It seems as if all of your questions have been answered, but please keep posting! You must have really thought everyone is soo lovely yesterday.... and who is that crazy one? lol! Anyhow, nice to have you here, this thread is full of wonderful supportive people . I am soo glad Sun found you!

            WTE......Beautiful Yard!!!!! they sure are cute!!! Its not so fun that they are eating your lawn, but they are cute....

            Mimi...And so many others... sorry to have made eveyone crazy with almost no paragraphs!!!

            Sun..... you are so cute... Put down the glass and get some water. They should have forums with little beep noises, so if the window is open, we can hear it... lol! I am very sure by the time you wrote it, i wasnt drinking anymore. And also... thank you soo much!! You know i see everything play like a film. I think we should have little audio emoticons that we would hear if the window is still open. like a smiley saying "step away from the glass" lol...

            XXOO love to all....

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Good Morning to all ---

              WTE - your posting for the titration schedule was right so I should have checked it first before taking ages to find my book (in my MWO file in my E-mails) and then copy and paste and tidy it up - LOL. Oh well - it WAS late and I was tired. that is my excuse anyway! Maybe a senior moment.....

              The picture of the bunny was lovely - but I can understand why you are cross - get some stuff called Liquid Fence and it will stop him - it stinks to high heaven and Charlie will love the smell of it so spray it when Charlie isn't going out for a while - it is made of putrescent eggs and garlic! But it does keep the bunnies away!

              Sorry your plan with the Gyn doc failed - win some you lose some I guess!! Oh - I did laugh at your thermometer of San Diego! now I know what to expect - I hope.... So - did you end up taking any wellbutrin? Or not? Curious minds want to know...

              Houtx - lovely to see that you didn't lose your post! SO sorry about the stuff with your daughter - hate that she said that to you but she knows which buttons to push doesn't she? Yes, as you said, more talking will be in the near future. It is so hard when they are that age and at home and they can use dad against mum...... hang in there. Absolutely HOOTED at you saying you needed a big old dose of Vitamin F !!!! took me a minute to get it but I did get there in the end :H

              Wu - so glad you are feeling better today. We are here for you to rant to so no worries, no need for feeling embarrassed and I certainly don't think you are crazy!! i think you fit in quite nicely with the rest of us actually - LOL.

              Thank you for doing more paragraphs - yes, your posts were sort of hard to read and I am glad the others said something - LOL. So glad that you and hubs talked and that you are coming to the USA. I think it will be good for you to see what is going on and hopefully try to either sort things or put your mind at ease. Let us know when you book it.

              Space - lovely to see you - how great that you just had the one lager. go you! and I quite envied you spending the time out in your garden - I always find it so therapeutic. Mine is just the pits right now with our drought - dead flowers everywhere, weeds everywhere and so hard to pull 'cos the ground is like concrete. Our heat has broken - it is actually chilly (according to WTE's temperature chart ) out this morning - a welcome change. Highs today are in the high 80's - now if only we could have some rain......

              I need to get some washing hung out before I leave for work. And get some food together for work too, so am getting going.

              love and hugs to all,

              sun XX
              How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Ok dear ones.... i have been doing some checking into flights, and found a gonga deal on the 30th. under 1000 dollars for the two of us one way to Vegas. I have a car in Vegas, so i wouldnt rent one in SD. (condo has a garage) And its my fav route, and two of my fav carriers!!! Yeah!! Let me know if you would like me to stop by and we could have some lunch!! I havent booked yet, as DH is out with DD in the frosty public pool. It does remind me of your San Diego Thermometer WTE..... I having grown up in Cali, And Arizona, and lived in NV... just dont like swimming when its 80 outside, windy, in 70 degree water... not refreshing.. freezing!!!

                I was reminded today of another reason i had to go home... i have to vote! not to get political on you. Its just that I can only vote from here in the presidential elections. This year, i think its getting so korny, i want to vote state...lol... just getting a little too weird.. ok, enough of that.. lol

                Ok,.. just checking in..
                XXOO

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Morning Everyone!

                  Space: You sound So much better! How wonderful you got out in the garden for a spell. THAT to me, sounds like depression lifting a bit. =)

                  And I am surprised Wellbutrin is not giving over there for depression. I was always under the impression that it was created for depression and they later discovered the quit smoking attributes of it. I wish I could find more information here about it, but the short thread I found was pretty upsetting and not very positive. People feeling they had BECOME alcoholics from using Wellbutrin! Yikes!

                  Thanks for your good thoughts and I hope your ?combo? continues to work!

                  Houtx: You just crack me up every time you post! Dose of Vitamin F. HA! HA! Landscaper being the ?ticket to a ride?. Lol Actually MOST Ads DO decrease your libido. It?s just a weirdness with Wellbutrin and some even claim that taking too much makes them feel like sex maniacs. HA! Maybe I need to join Match again!

                  I?m SO sorry about your daughter. Not having kids, that?s a bit hard to relate so ? but the accusations of drinking are my Lil? Sister all over. UGH. And she just LOVES to spread the word to anyone that will listen. What?s odd is I have been drinking the same for YEARS and some years she pulls close to me. We are currently in a space of ?your drinking bothers her?. WTH?? I haven?t seen her now I a few years although she lives in San Francisco and so is pretty close distance wise. Anyways ? I understand how hurtful it can be.

                  Yes, more talk needed. They will ALWAYS use our drinking as an excuse when we do anything they don?t agree with. And what a BUMMER that you had to spend $100 on that dinner. Yikes! That would piss me off too to be honest. It?s one thing if you all agreed on such a fancy/expensive place ? but it sounds like they are aware that you are a bit tight right now. Not fair!

                  I understand not wanting to do any more drugs right now. I am pretty sick of them as well after the Celexa nightmare. Something will break for us at some point. In the meantime, don?t be a stranger. Oh, and did you read on TSM that Q is back! He?s starting from scratch again ? poor guy.

                  Sun:
                  Thanks for posting the Topa schedule for Imagine. I was close! HA! I just never got up to 300 mg a day, so it was a bit fuzzy and my notes I was writing I had made changes to. Not sure why.

                  WU:
                  You crazy chick you! HA! HA! I adore you and do NOT think anything negative about you or your posts. We ALL have our rant periods when life just seems to feel upside down and then we drink. I am SO happy that your hubby is in agreement with you going home for a bit! Whew!


                  And yes, Greeks are crazy! HA! It was a blast of a trip and made some good friends and had a short sweet ?fling? with a guy that actually followed me (and the group) from Mikonos to Santorini! We had spent 4 nights at each place and cruised the islands in between. As normal, we promised to stay in touch and he wanted to come to California ? but we never contacted each other again. Crazy fun trip ? but unfortunately I totally blew my Topa success while over there.

                  Your story of the pool party was a hoot! OMG ? I can only IMAGINE those pictures!

                  And there is NOTHING cute anymore about my bunnies! HA! So funny because when I first moved here I thought they were so wonderful that I actually bought rabbit food and put on the lawn! Lol They became so tame that I could sit just a few feet away from them and they would just stay and eat. Now ? they are totally destroying my lawn! I never had lawn the back before and they never seemed to do such damage on my small front lawn. Not sure if it?s a different type of grass that they are loving, or because it?s right next to hill where I suspect most of them live. Maybe I should put food down in another area off my lawn???? HA!

                  It would be great if you could pop in to San Diego! I was just thinking you could fly here and then rent a car you could drop off in Vegas. Let me know ? and the 30th is my birthday! Whoo Hoo (not!) LOL

                  PS WU ? Thanks for the paragraphs! =) And had to laugh about you voting ? I won?t ask for who! HA!

                  Sun: Wow, you have an intense work schedule at times! My time is coming up again rapidly where it?s six days a week again and long hours for the holidays. I need to start enjoying what is left of the summer!

                  As for Liquid Fence ? I?ll look into it! I bought some animal (dog) safe pellet stuff called ?Scram?. Obviously it?s not working! HA! I think the sprinklers were going off so often because it?s a new lawn that it was getting diluted too fast. Going to need Landscaper guy replace a few patches when I get this figured out! Wellbutrin = Landscaper = Good price on new sod patching? HA! HA!

                  We ARE having a bit of a weird heat wave here right now ? 90?s at my house again yesterday and we are ALL crabby. But it?s supposed to break in a few days (hopefully) and we will be back to our normal mid- 70?s. We don?t see rain here much except for December and January and the odd storm that blows in from Mexico. BTW ? do you or Play have any interest in going down to Mexico for a day? Rosarita Beach? The border is less than an hour from me. Laughing at myself for planning stuff and you both probably just want to chill! Which is FINE with me!

                  Play:
                  Missing you and hope you are feeling better.

                  **********

                  OK, so yesterday, with MUCH hesitation I took the Wellbutrin. I cut a 150 mg in half and took it about 3:15 PM. I figured I didn?t want to take it any later as it might mess with my sleep. I was worried about the few glasses of wine I had already had. BINGO! Nothing!

                  And so I even called a GF up and asked her if she wanted to meet for sushi. So we met at 5:30 PM and I actually got quite a bit of food into me! (and a sake) Yea! I felt nothing ? which is fine to me right now. I am going to do the same thing today only in the AM and late afternoon. I slept just fine last night. If it continues ok I will increase a bit at a time.

                  Maybe 150 in the AM and 75 in the PM? Diz? Thoughts? Or anyone else?

                  So the only plan for today is the hairdresser at Noon. The new guy and we?ll see what he says. To chop or not chop!

                  Trying hard to not feel overwhelmed by stuff. Just one step at a time in getting ?stuff? done. Maybe I will get to my garden soon ? OH NO WAIT! That?s my BD present from sun ? weed my garden. LMAO! Just wait until she sees the mess!

                  BTW ? And I keep on forgetting to post this. I bought Bac from River about a year ago and never touched it. If any of you are using it (besides Space because I don?t think I can send it out of the states) or know someone that can use it - let me know. I?ll just ship it and don?t expect any money for it. Just ran across it a few weeks ago sitting in my drawer.

                  OK ? here with go again with the Wellbutrin! 75 mg @ 8:15 AM. Hopefully feeling sane enough to drive to my hairdresser appointment!

                  Love & Hugs,

                  WTE & C

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Zoom------sorry another quicky fly by post.

                    Thanks for all the responses, it makes me quite emotional that you all think of me

                    Yesterday I went to the beach and had a great day out there with my youngest son, daughter and her bf. It was great and I wore my bikini and went in the sea

                    Sun, I wish I could send you some of our rain and you could sent me some more sunshine, although we have just had some nice days its back to rain again today Never mind, it should make me appreciate the good days we do have and make use of it like I did yesterday.

                    Got ot go I will come back later and read though.

                    Love yas x

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      hi everyone... just a quickie.... for WTE... or anyone else who thinks politics is funny, and this doesnt give away any political views at all, just hopefully will make you all laugh...

                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR5BfQ4rEqQ&playnext=1&list=PL96478722DF7F F45E&feature=results_video[/video]]Back to the Future (5/10) Movie CLIP - I'm From the Future (1985) HD - YouTube just a small 5 minute clip out of the movie back to the future.... lol!! :P

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Oh, and I may have some interest in bac WtE when i get to the states .. but am unsure... see if anyone else wants it.... lol!

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Morning All ?

                          WU: That link (at least for me) says ?unavailable. =(

                          Space: The beach sounds lovely and I?m glad you are making the best of your ?good days?.

                          As for me, so far so good with the Wellbutrin. I took 75 mg at 815 AM and at 430 PM. Not having any problems sleeping and my appetite seems to be back a touch more. I can?t really say it has affected my mood at all and I?m still not feeling very motivated - but I guess I can?t really expect anything on such a low dose the first couple of days.

                          So went to the new hairdresser yesterday. He?s a hoot! He spent 3 ? hours on my hair! I normally get high lights and low lights to blend in all of my gray and they do it with the foil packets. This guy did the whole thing with a brush ? looked like he was painting a canvas. HA! I?m not too sure about the color and I seem to be much more a strawberry blonde now. I just don?t want to have to deal with root touch up every month! He says it will fade a bit ? so we shall see.

                          And he cut quite a bit off! Yikes! I have baby fine hair and he REALLY layered it, so it feel pretty short (and less) tome. I guess I will know more after my shower this morning and mess with it myself. He must have spent a half hour just blow drying it straight and kind of curvy ? not something I am willing to do every morning! LOL

                          Feel a touch poopy this morning from drinking red wine at the hair salon. I know better! But they were out of white wine and I was having giggles with this guy so drank 2 glasses. I think it?s the mold in red wine as my head gets all stuffy.

                          I just seem to be doing the same ol? same ol? in regards to drinking and wine. I miss the control of Topa SO badly! Oh well, one step at a time. IF I keep doing well on the Wellbutrin, I may ask my DR about Nal. Unsure, but I feel like I need to do SOMETHING!

                          Can?t believe its Sunday already. Weeks are just flashing by! Big wedding and a big golf tournament both this coming Saturday. So I have to have my act together at the shop this week again.

                          GF coming over this afternoon for a bit. She?s the Lexapro GF. She?s headed to the San Francisco area this week for her 40 year high school reunion. I just missed mine as it was back in Detroit and I am NOT going back there. LOL But she is coming to borrow my laptop and one of my cameras. Hopefully I can talk her into going out to lunch as I seem to eat so much better if I am out with friends. Then again, she has gained 15# on the Lexapro in the last few months, so eating is not her big thing.

                          Our odd heat wave continues and it was almost 90 again yesterday. Hate it, but thankfully I have my gardens and lawns on auto watering so I don?t have to deal with that. Sun
                          . you will LOVE my soil. HA! HA! Can?t believe you agreed to gardening! Can?t wait to meet you guys! I wish ALL of us could get together ? Houtx
                          , we really need to do this in the near future. We are not THAT far away ? 5 hour flight?

                          That?s about it from here ?.

                          Hope everyone has a happy Sunday. Missing many who are posting these days ?.

                          Love & Hugs
                          WTE

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                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR5BfQ4rEqQ&playnext=1&list=PL96478722DF7F F45E&feature=results_video[/video]]Back to the Future (5/10) Movie CLIP - I'm From the Future (1985) HD - YouTube

                            Try # 2 hope this works! just a quiet sunday at home with my family... back tomorrow morning.... have lots to tell all good here... been very good!! happy for you space and you too WTE that all is well. I sure hope that everything as also ok for everyone else thats not posting right now!!

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                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Hi everyone !

                              Wu - I did watch the back to the Future link - I did get it - I loved that movie!! I watch very few movies - I always fall asleep - LOL. SO - did you book your flight - are you going to be able to pop in and meet with us?????? That would be SO awesome...... you asked if we would like you to stop by and have lunch ...... YES !!!!!!!

                              WTE - gosh, I would hate to have to spend that long in the hairdressers chair - I used to say I would rather go to the dentist than the hairdresser ! How short is your hair now? My hair is very fine but SO thick. And I have never had mine done without the foils - I will have to have E do it before I come out there.

                              I was hoping to chat today - did you go out to lunch with your g'f ? I should have just called you instead of Pm'ing..... Oh - and yes, I am so looking forward to weeding your garden - I really do love getting my hands dirty in the garden!! I am not good at sitting still unfortunately.

                              I hope your heat wave goes before I arrive - I really have had enough heat to last me for ever. Our heat has actually really eased up though and the temps today are just in the 80's. There was a HUGE yellow patch coming over from the east heading for us but as it came closer on the radar it started to split - went above and below us - and of course the middle dissipated so we ended up with no rain and above and below are getting it. Just cannot believe it. SO sad!! My youngest wanted me to go swimming this morning at 10.00 and I called her at 9.00 and said I had been awake half the night coughing, the temp was 64 - so I didn't think so!!! She did make me laugh - told me that colds are not caught through cold weather yada yada yada - all the stuff I used to say to her !!!! She is a sweetie - wants to come with me to San Diego!!!!

                              Space - of course we respond to you - you are one of us !!! I worry about you and wonder often how you are doing and worry when you don't post!! So love when I see your post and find out how you are.

                              WTE - no, for me anyway - no interest in going to mexico - but Play might want to...... Am not sure she is interested in the kayaking which now I really want to do....... have Pm'd you anyway. Oh - I do know someone that uses bac - so will chat about that when we meet. If no-one else wants it.

                              Glad that no SE's from the Wellbutrin yet - we shall have to see how you go - see how you feel on it - maybe I will switch?? I am fine on the 40 mg Celexa but don't have the 'happy' that I had on the 60 mg.

                              Anyway - am off to make zucchini bread - back later,

                              love, Sun XX
                              How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

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                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Greetings from Play,
                                Wow, I've been reading now for about two hours, inbetween doing laundry, cleaning up the apartment, having a few glasses of wine, and I can't believe how fast this thread travels. So, I've learned that:
                                Wu now uses paragraphs and is traveling back to the states to help her family sort things out,

                                Houutx, your daughter is being nasty to you as only a child can be to her mother (believe me I know) and are you absolutely sure you can't make it for even one night to the get-together?

                                Dizz, I'm really proud of you and BF.

                                Space never forget that we Love you, you are always in our hearts and minds, even if you are not posting you are still a Presence here!

                                Imagine - Welcome, don't spend too much time reading, just jump in and start posting, you will get to know us all soon enough, and we want to know you too, so thank you for sharing. I'm not trying to be pushy but I'm really curious about where you live, it sounds really quite lovely and calm, somewhere in the country, a little isolated and out of the hecticness of life.

                                Sun, you didn't have a cold, some other kind of virus and I'm so happy you are feeling better. So, now I'm finally reading about the kayaking that you are so keen to do, well, I'm thinking about it, yes, it does sound like tons of fun, and sitting on the beach also sounds like tons of fun, either way, I will love it. And I also just saw something about going to Mexico? Hmmm, I must have missed reading about that, I just saw where you mentioned that you might not be up for it, I'm not sure about it either but we can figure it out later. And are you really going to weed WTE's garden? OMG, are you crazy? Oh Sun, my first magazine and CD arrived, I love them, thank you so much!

                                And WTE, you are started slightly on the Effexor and perhaps it is not causing havoc yet? Ok, good. Now, I'm kind of thinking that Sun and I might be entertaining ourselves while you are out on various dates with "Handyman, Marrying-Man, Exterminator-Man" and is there a chance they have any friends our age?

                                Well, I think I am feeling a tad better, partly because I have been working almost every day. I know that when I am worried about money it makes me kind of anxious and since I have been away and helping my daughter in spain for the last two months and unable to work, I have become a little anxious about paying the rent. So, now that I have worked for a few days I am feeling a little better. I am also facing trying to save money to pay the rent for October and November while I again return to Spain to help my daughter while she hopefully actually does have her hip surgery this time around.

                                On the bright side, I'm looking forward to Space coming to visit me for a weekend in October in Spain. October there is a really lovely month that is warm enough to spend the day at the beach and is also not so busy with tourists. My absolute favorite thing in Spain is to see a Flamenco Dance Concert and so I will plan for us to attend a show one evening, I think you will love it, Space.

                                Ok, I will close for now, please forgive if I left anyone out, Love,
                                Play

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