New here and starting Topa and with a question

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I am so looking forward to it Play, I have never seen a flamenco dance concert it sounds cool. I am glad you are starting to feel better, it must be a strain on you getting settled and also getting back into going to work.

I havent read back yet only this page and wanted to answer Play so I am going for a read around now, I will be back here later tho. xx

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, I just kind of got through the slow weekend, but was glancing through a little over the weekend since no one was really was posting to make sure no one was crashing and burning as I recently was... lol! Seems everyone thats posting is doing well!
Space, it seems as though you had a nice weekend! Did you get sunburned?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning everyone - WE HAD RAIN. A whole inch of it! Of course it went along with tons of thunder and lightening through out the night which meant a yapping puppy a lot of the time - and then the sound of the rain coming down got her going, and then when she finally quietened down, I started coughing! So not a whole lot of sleep last night but I went to bed early so am hoping I got enough before all that started - will have a nap when I get back from the Monday morning meeting.

Play - lovely to see you posting - and awesome that you and space are getting together - how wonderful for the both of you. That will be great for both of you to look forward to. How exciting and the flamenco dance concert sounds lovely.

WTE - sorry I missed your call - my phone was in my car - good place for it eh? Youngest daughter called the house phone and said she had called my cell and by then it was too late to call back as I was going to bed early. Did you have a good day yesterday? How are you feeling on the wellbutrin?

Space - SO happy you are going to be getting to meet Play! Hope you are feeling better.....

Houtx - hi there - hope things are better for you too....

Wu - how was your weekend? We all seem to be as stable as we can right now I think - LOL. Fairly quiet here at the moment in as much as our lives..... just getting on with them except.......

WE HAD RAIN - Oh but I already said that didn't I LOL !!!!! Just such a rare happening !!!!!!! No watering for at least two days - YEAH !! maybe longer if it doesn't get hot again.

anyway off to Monday meeting - back later,

hugs, everyone,

Love, sun XX

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello all!~

WU: Dang ? I STILL can?t see that You Tube! Must be my security setting s on this computer ? or something!

Are you going to make it San Diego when Sun and Play are here?????? I sure hope so! What a hoot!

Yes, it was a quiet weekend here ?

SUN: Hey you! My hair is not short ? still about shoulder length but I feel like a lot of it is missing due to the layering! HA! And I am REALLY unsure about the color. Oh well, it?s not like getting a tattoo and its forever (already made that mistake when I was 15! BEFORE ink was all the rage!)

And you can get PLENTY dirty in my garden! LOL Play and I will be sitting under the tree having umbrella drinks and watching. HA! And you KNOW your daughter would be more than welcome to come if you want her to. Mi Casa es su Casa! Just remember ? I?m a crappy hostess! LOL

I?m sure our heat wave will be over by then. It?s VERY odd for us and already a touch cooler yesterday. Still put the AC on for a bit ? mostly for Charlie. (spoiled dog) I am just used to having all the doors and windows open all the time that it?s weird to shut it down and add AC. YUCK. Nice this morning at almost 800 AM and I had everything back open last night.

OK ? We?ll pass on Mexico. I must admit it used to be a favorite of mine, but it?s gotten a bit weird these days. I?ll leave it at facials/massages and a day at the beach to kayak. Oh, and you weeding my garden. LOL

Yea! On the rain! I just can?t quite wrap my head around the temps and dryness you deal with. It?s been too many years since I lived back East! So spoiled here after 20+ years and San Francisco and all the summer fog. But I think Play is having the heat wave too!

Play: Great to hear from you! And I am taking Wellbutrin now ? not Effexor. You cracked me up with your comment of "Handyman, Marrying-Man, Exterminator-Man". HA! HA! It?s Landscaper Guy! *smirk*

Happy you are feeling better ? financial issues are the WORST! I remember back when I was about to lose my house up there and my shop! So stressful so I am glad you are back working and putting it all back together again.

How FUN you and Space are going to meet! Jealous! HA!

Hi to everyone else!

**********

So I took my Wellbutrin yesterday morning and took the full does of 150 mg. Really didn?t feel much. EXCEPT ? my GF came over to pick up the laptop and try on clothes, etc. She brought with her a bottle of Cakebread Chard as a thank you which I LOVE!. I am pretty certain that Wellbutrin and too much wine do not mix! HA! I didn?t feel drunk, but when she left I started to cook dinner (we never made it to lunch) and felt a touch wasted! Yikes. I slept on the sofa until almost midnight when I finally went to bed and then slept another 6 hours! Never did take the second dose of Wellbutrin.

I am not having any SEs from it other than I think I could feel really drunk mixing the two. But no upset stomach and I am actually hungry for a change. So all good on that front.

I have my therapist appointment again this morning at 10:00. I sent her my ENTIRE background via email to get that out of the way. Six pages! HA! Anyways, hopefully she is able to ?target? a few happenings and help. No clue. I must admit that I don?t have a lot of confidence in her just yet. Just trying whatever I can get my hands on whatever right now. She said she would read it over the weekend and hopefully we?ll be done with ?background/history? stuff after today.

Hope everyone has a good day ?..

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thats a great idea to send your therapist your background because it takes up way too much of the appointment time and theres always stuff I mean to say but forget until I walk out of the door.

I think it wil be sooo cool to go and meet play for the weekend, I am envious of you all meeting up over there, if I was a lottery winner I would ask for an invite myself, but Im not so I wont. but I do hope you all have a good time together.

I have taken my dogs out today for a good walk, its forever since I have managed to do that, my dogs are not well behaved and a bit of a nightmare sometimes to take out but I put them in the car and did the 5 minute drive to the river and it was great, we must have been there nearly an hour before I saw anyone else. I was determined not to let myself get down again today after yesterday with my mum, daughter and her bf coming for dinner and it was very stressful and made me feel pretty anxious and then I did get pretty down last night after they had gone. I hope that tomorrow I can do the same again and give myself another good day.

Still not perfect with the drink but doing ok, I just opened my second lager and its 10pm, my first was around 7 so I think thats pretty good.

Hope everyone is ok xx

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey all, so after 21 days I decided to drink a bottle of wine. Not a large bottle but a bottle never the less.

I don't feel guilty right now, I just feel relaxed. That may change tomorrow however.

Wu- Thanks for the paragraphs, lol. Not your fault I have a short attention span.....

Buying a small bottle of wine is a smart thing since I would continue to drink otherwise.

I'll check in with ya tomorrow and let ya know if the guilt is overwhelming or just mild. Oh my!!!!

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Had a cool weekend, well too much booze as we had one of bf?s friends stay over but he took yesterday off and we just had a lazy day of being together to make up for the mayhem.

Friday night we went out for a bit and then a Belinda Carlisle song played and we both admitted to thinking she was hot. So as we got home we googled her and saw she was performing down the road the next day! Bananarama, Rick Astley, Belinda Carlisle, T'pau, and more… — Ascot — Ascot Racecourse — 11 August 2012 | Songkick So we went to the Ascot Racecourse for a blast from the past 80?s day to see Bananarama, Rick Astley, Belinda Carlisle, T'pau, Midge Ure, Howard Jones, and Katrina And The Waves. LOL! I grew up with 80?s music when I was in primary school and my friends have always loved 80?s music for some reason so I just HAD to go, also, I had NO idea these people were still performing! It was a really cool day out with a picnic atmosphere. We couldn?t get even close to the stage but at least we had a big screen close to us so thats cool.

And last night we made a Skinny Beef Lasagne we saw on the ?Hairy Bikers on a Diet? programme. I don?t know if you guys have seen the Hairy Bikers cooking programmes but I do enjoy it. In the most recent one they are trying to lose weight so they are trying to incorporate as much flavour into food but cutting the calories by a third. I was a bit tired half way through as it was a hot night and the bloody thing took 2 hours but I must say it turned out very yummy and didn?t taste low fat at all. BBC - Food - Recipes : Skinny beef lasagne

I know what you mean about the rain, Sun, I?d feel the same in Cape Town during Summer. It just gets really tedious to water your plants every single day so I always got really excited whenever it rained, even if it was just a few drops. So how are you feeling at the moment? Is the Celexa doing the trick?

WTE, it seems so far so good on the Wellbutrin, remember that it is building up in your bloodstream so the side effects may still appear so I?d rather take it slowly the way you are rather than jump too quickly. I would say 150 for a couple of days would be a good idea just to see how it does with AL etc. Remember most AD takes 2 weeks to set in.

I?m not sure who these people are who said WB made them drink more but as its used to make people stop smoking I don?t think that is true for the majority. Once again, you can use that site as a reference, you know that we problem drinkers will use just about any excuse in the book

Hmm, bunnies can be a pain. We had one that belonged to the neighbours but he wouldn?t eat the lawn, only veggies and flowers ? well, I say ?only? but it was awful. I made this mixture of lots of chillies and garlic and just sprayed it on my veggies but obviously that won?t work for your lawn, not with the amount of watering you have to do at the moment. Of course I added hot water to the blender and when I opened the lid I basically ?pepper sprayed? myself LOL


Space, I also miss our chats in the mornings, I tend to just sleep in a lot lately as bf keeps me up until 1 or 2 and my natural sleeping pattern was always 11-8 or something like that. We?ll need to figure something out. Glad you?re feeling a bit better, I always find that a good long walk does wonders for my mood, especially with doggies as they just inspire you to keep going even if you don?t feel like it.

Play, welcome back! My monetary situation is still crappy except for that bf is taking care of me so I doubt I?ll be able to slip away in October. That said I?m not even sure if I?m allowed a Schengen Visa at this stage. But I am very jealous of you and Space?s little get together but also very happy for you. Well, there is always next year if I?m still around

So Wu, you think the Effexor isn?t for you? I think it is very difficult for all of us to find the right AD because most of us takes Topamax, some take other meds too and then we of course flood our livers with alcohol. As AD is processed by the liver its very hit and miss to find one that will not make us feel worse instead of better. I?m really glad you and hubby had a chat and that you have come to an understanding about your visit.

Not sure if you know but you can subscribe to this thread so that everytime someone posts you get an email. So if you set your email to have a little chime on your laptop you can get your little audio reminder when someone posts after all

Mimi, I think the best thing you can do in your situation is what you are doing. We are only human and 21 days is a long time and you stopped after a small bottle. Beating yourself up about it will not change anything about it and only make you feel worse, which could lead to worse things. Just be proud of the 21 days you did do, thats more than what any of us on this thread has done. I'm certainly proud of you! And you can do 21 more and plenty more to come, just let the past go and remember your goal. :l

Sorry if I missed a lot of stuff but you guys sure are on a roll and its hard to catch up after 3 days! Also, I find I?m sleeping a lot lately as the Klonopin I take to help me unwind and sleep (bf snores like a freight train and the Topa makes me a bit hyper) is definitely not meant to be taken with alcohol. So, can you guys please share stories of what you do when you can?t sleep, medicine and non-medicine wise? I need to spend more hours awake, connected and working thank you very much

Lots of love and hugs to all.

:h

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All ?

Space: You really have seemed to turn a corner! Great! Taking the pups out sounds wonderful at a river. And I sure wish your Mom didn?t get you down the way she does. But you sound positive and determined! Yea!

And yes, writing your history all out saves A LOT of time with therapy. It?s kind of weird to write it and brings up a lot of old ?stuff? ? but I think that may not be a bad thing. It really helped with my appointment yesterday.

Mimi: I hope the day is bright for you! I have the same issue if I buy too much wine. It just goes POOF! 21 days was great and you will make it happen again!

Hey Diz!: The weekend and concert sounds wonderful! But I had to laugh at the ?Hairy Bikers? thing. I don?t think we get that over here and if so, I?ve never heard of it. LOL

Yes, I?ve held the Wellbutrin to half dose so far. I am SO tired in the evenings (after wine) that I either forget the second dose or it?s too close to bedtime that I fear it will disrupt my sleep.

And yes, I know it is often used to quit smoking. It?s the 1st one my new DR suggested, but I at baulked at it after my experience all those years ago with it. And so true ? drinkers will use ANY excuse! HA! It would be great if I got the non-smoking SE! I can?t find the thread back that I was reading and people were saying they thought it increased their drinking and never felt like alcoholics before WB. Weird. Not going to worry about it ? I?m already down that road.

Funny about your blender mix for the rabbits! LOL

Don?t know what to say about your sleeping issue. I was dead tired at first on Topa, but it passed. I?ve just always been one without sleep issues unless some weird med is involved ? like the Celexa. As a kid my Mom used to vacuum my bedroom while I was sleeping and I never woke up! HA! And yet I pop out of bed about 500 AM every morning without issue. Go figure.

**********************
Saw my therapist again yesterday and she had read my ?book? I wrote of my history. It made for a more interesting session but there were still a lot of ?holes? to fill in. We spent a lot of time talking about past relationships and specifically my heartbreak of all time a few years back. Even this morning I feel a bit tearful about it all again. This is the same guy I ran into a couple of months back at that concert he was playing at. I sometimes wonder if I will EVER really be over him. UGH.

Drinking about the same and just not certain what direction to take in regards to that. I can?t say I feel totally depressed, but I am certainly not the person I once was. I told my therapist that too. That I have been drinking like this for years and yet still seemed to be energetic and interested in life more. Maybe it is something that has just finally caught up with me and AL. It was a two bottle day again yesterday and I probably would have drank more if it was here. I just can?t seem to get a handle on this without the Topa.

I feel kind of ?antsy? this morning like I have drank too much coffee ? but only had one cup. Hoping it?s not the Wellbutrin but it?s probably from the wine yesterday. I feel like I want to take a Valium or something to take this edge off - but I doubt that is a good idea.

Need to get to the shop early today. Just got a call that all of my roses from Ecuador are being held up. Great. *sigh* I have orders for them today - what a pisser and stressful.

Hope everyone has a good one ?

[satz123]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey folks - I'm putting this out there on the boards. I am AF for 43 days and using AB that another member sent to me. It doesn't work for everyone but helps me greatly by taking the choice away !
Not attending doctor - going it alone like so many others here in MWO - so anyone got any AB lying in a drawer somewhere - can I relieve you of it ?

Send PM if you can help.
I can PM my address & send postage if required

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, today is a new day with no mistakes in it yet. Back to day one as you all know but glad that I am not starting day one with a hang over.

I printed out the 12 steps worksheets and am going to work on the steps. I can't do moderation I need to be AF and I'm not sure how to get there.

Will check in with all of you later. Have a great day

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just wanted to say Mimi, I'm soooooo happy that you changed your Avatar. It just a big symbol to me that you are back to loving yourself instead of living in the past. Welcome back to the positive, fighting Mimi. :l :l :l
:h

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All ?

OK, I am getting OFF this roller coaster! Diz, you were right about the Wellbutrin being cumulative. ACK.

After I posted yesterday morning the anxiety and nasty feelings just kept getting worse. I had taken a half dose (75 mg) and within 20 minutes my heart was racing, my hands shaking ? AWFUL. Trying to get dressed for work and it was almost impossible. I had to keep on sitting down and thought I would poke my eye out trying to put mascara on.

I finally said screw it at about 10:30 AM and went and bought some wine. About 1 and ? glasses down and I started to feel a bit normal and then slept for 2 hours straight. When I got up about 1:30 of course I poured more wine.

I had to meet a GF to pick up some produce that we have this ?program? with. Had a glass with her and we ended up going to the clubhouse for some light dinner. Had another 2 glasses. Another total of 8 glasses for the day.

Pretty convinced now that I can?t take ANY AD as long as I am drinking at these levels. And I don?t know how to bring the drinking levels down. I am terrified to take any Wellbutrin today. Not even sure what to tell my DR ? but he KNOWS that I drink 2 bottles a day.

Of course my GF says ?you just need to stop drinking for a few weeks to use the Wellbutrin?. Yeah right ? If I could do that I would not be in this spot! She has no idea how bad my drinking has gotten.

What?s the answer???? I can?t keep on like this!

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there

I'm on my way out but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry, WTE. Wellbutrin had the same effect on me, just made me too nervous, a bit ironic as its supposed to have the opposite effect.

All the AD's I've been on, I've had to take a month of bad days before I had any good days but very few of them worked.

A lot of people say that Mirtazapine helps for them and a big side effect of it is weight gain. Unfortunately it also makes one a bit sleepy but you can take it at night. If you find it doesnt make you sleepy during the day you can even perhaps combine it with Topa and it can cancel out the weight SE.

Paxil (paroxetine) worked for me and made me gain weight and it had no adverse side effects to booze. Tsk. It was actually the reason I chose it but I stopped because of the weight gain. Good old Prozac had the least side effects for me and it worked pretty well. Its an oldie but a goodie.

A friend of mine who drinks at least two bottles of wine a day swears by Cymbalta.

I also read these article a while back: Type A Alcoholics Respond Well to Zoloft

This is also quite insightful: Antidepressant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I'm afraid its pretty much trial and error. If you read that meds forum link I sent you, you will find SO many posts starting with - "I tried them all and this is the first one that works for me"

So hang in there at least your doctor seems to be quick on the uptake to change it, mine used to insist I stick to a med for at least a month or two before she would change it.

:l

[baclofan]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WaitingToExhale;1364425 wrote: Diz, you were right about the Wellbutrin being cumulative. ACK.

After I posted yesterday morning the anxiety and nasty feelings just kept getting worse. I had taken a half dose (75 mg) and within 20 minutes my heart was racing, my hands shaking – AWFUL. Trying to get dressed for work and it was almost impossible. I had to keep on sitting down and thought I would poke my eye out trying to put mascara on.
Hi WTE, Wellburtin is known to cause increased anxiety! (The increased dose has caused such panic attack that I'm still trying to erase from my memory...so many years after)

Pretty convinced now that I can’t take ANY AD as long as I am drinking at these levels.

What’s the answer???? I can’t keep on like this!

Guess you know my answer...by now:...Re: mir... Just my 2 cents as usual

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks both Diz and Bac.

Honestly, I am terrified to try anything! I DO need to put weight back on, but I don’t want to end up bummed being huge either! HA!

Bac, I had asked my DR about Mir and he shook his head and said that it was used for REALLY MAJOR depression only. I don’t think I have major depression. And Bac, you’re not drinking either right?

I have no clue what I am going to do. I called the DR this morning and waiting to hear back. I fear I need to address the excess wine before anyhing else is going to help. I'm sitting here at 10:30 AM going nuts for a glass of wine already!

No clue ...more reading.