New here and starting Topa and with a question

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Okay, So I am crying....

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just jumping in here really quickly before I forget, then I will read further and post again. The worst SE that I have is the heart racing at times, and something like HBP, as in I feel quick bursts of feeling my blood pumping through my body, even in my head. It happens mostly only when I titrate up and even then only for a couple of days, and even then also, for short bursts. Thats another reason why I chose not to take the effexor anymore. The return of cravings was another reason. Those seem to come and go, though I am still not sure if the effexor is still affecting me.

I did want to properly welcome you Kradle, but was a little busy over the weekend.. I do understand how important your lamictol is. I was once on Depakote for Bipolar, and am probably the same type as you, or similar. It was wonderful, but i was on it as a clinical trial to approve it for use for bipolar disorder and then subsequently put on lithium, :nutso: and ended up in a mental hospital... for a day.... never took another such med, not for bi polar nor anything else until around 2 months ago...lol! ( ok the point to that was that depakote really did make me feel completely balanced) lol! I also ended up on wine self medicating.... thats why I am here! LOL!

Rambling here... i am still on my first cup of coffee!

Sun... I just KNEW this was a really cool group of people! I have been on a few rides and loved it! Now I dream of having a Vespa and cant really, because of my little one. Hubby wouldnt be thrilled about it. :upset:

We have a lot of Bikers here in the Spring and Summer months. They scare me half to death many times, as our small two lane winding steets dont allow for much visibility. People come from all over Europe to do their touring here!

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Mimi... I havent seen the movie yet, but knew I wanted to, and forgot to catch it and got the books before I left the states. The books are amazing reading! They are relatively short, and written for young adults. They kept me occupied and away from drinking too much. There are three in the series.... highly recomended... I also really enjoyed the twilight series, and only started that after seeing four of the movies! It helped me profoundly with all that nervous energy i had from cravings, and not wanting to drink.....Hope this helps!!

Play and Space... perhaps a word association would be... rambling the streets? We might have Space speaking spanish in no time!! hehehe... and no i am not drinking.... i might just be manic after my fourth coffee.... lmbo!

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...fely-5431.html
i ran across this, and found it interesting, and perhaps of use.

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All ….

Sun: Your bike ride sounds wonderful! How fun!

And yes, my vet is open on Sunday and until 900 PM during the week! They are a bit far and a touch expensive, but I know they will be there if an emergency comes up (like a bee sting - not snake bite HA!)

They were telling me that they are now getting complaint after complaint that Advantix and Frontline are no longer working. Like we have created a “super flea”. They suggested the tablets Comfostis, but where out of them. She wrote me a script so I could buy it online from 1800PetMeds. I would STILL have to use a topical as well as Comfortis does not cover ticks – which are a real issue in the hills. AND – they DID find 1 flea on him. *sigh*

I gave him a Capstar when we got home, which only lasts for 24 hours but will kill anything he may have on him. But have to wait to topically treat him in a few days. What a pain! My neighbor is going through the same thing with his cats and products not working. He is also now on antibiotics for 21 days as she felt some spots he was chewing could get infected. Don’t quite agree because he has not gotten to the point of any “hot spots” – but whatever. I suppose can’t hurt (except my wallet! HA!)

Kradel: That is such a lose dose that I am surprised you are having such terrible SEs. But I suppose with the Lamictol it could be interacting. I agree with Sun that the reacing heart thing sounds a bit serious! Bummer!

Keep posting – we love having you here and I hope you find the right “combo”.

Mimi: I never saw the movie but read the books. I heard the movie was pretty intense! How are you doing otherwise? And stop watching sad movies! HA!

Waving hello to WU !

Houtx – So… are you coming????

I was supposed to go in for my blood work up this morning. I screwed up and took my All-One without even thinking! I wasn’t supposed to eat or drink anything but water black coffee (yuck) after midnight. So I blew that for today! It’s a walk-in lab so hopefully I can get it done in the next few days. Stupid – and I can’t even blame it on the Topa anymore! LOL

I do have my therapy session at 1000 this morning. Not sure if I look forward to this or not. I suppose I just really want answers and a solution – NOW! HA! Now that she has most of my “background, hopefully we can move forward a bit. Not even sure what I am “looking for” – if that makes sense. Those of you that found therapy to really help – any suggestions? Just feel like I’m floating around these days.

And to top life off – I am now in a “riff” with Landscaper guy. UGH. My lawns look like hell! The gophers are gone and I am NOT convinced it is rabbits doing all the damage. I’ve now discovered fungus spots growing as well as these weird weed like blades of grass. It was crappy sod and him and I went back and forth in emails yesterday afternoon. He wants to “treat” the lawns with chemicals – I won’t let him. I NEVER use anything on the lawn but an organic fertilizer one time. And my front lawn looked great until the gophers invaded (which are now pretty much gone except where he MISSED the gopher wire on the edge. GRRRR.

I have told him he should hold the sod company responsible and replace all of it. He wants to charge me for his guys labor – which is REALLY expensive! I sent a never nice email this morning (after he suggested spraying bleach!) and said I was not going to be working on these lawns at all. His project I paid him to do, his product in getting bad sod (which he has acknowledged) and I feel he needs to go after the sod farm for any expenses incurred. I have a BAD feeling that I may see Small Claims Court in my future. He is NOT going want to mess with me in court! HA!

Another funny side note: Charlie LOVES to chase the rabbits in the hills. So I am at my desk yesterday afternoon and done the hill comes that damn rabbit to eat the edge of my lawn. The door was open for Charlie but I really didn’t know where in the back or house he was as he sometimes lays on the cool kitchen floor. So I call him and nothing. I walk around the corner of the courtyard – and there he is laying and WATCHING this damn rabbit only about 20 feet from him! So much for him helping! HA!

Still trying to decide what I am going to do about the Nal and TSM. I will hold until my blood work is done and curious about my liver panel. (UGH) Still drinking just around 2 bottles a day … something has to break soon! I fear any drugs now and worry about having enough motivation to go through TSM again and be faithful with it – although I was for so long last time. Houtx! WHERE IS our magic pill???? HA!

I managed to do a bit of “organizing” yesterday. My office and tool room have SO much stuff I just don’t use anymore. When my Mom passed 5+ years ago, I got all of her sewing stuff. It included a Pfaff sewing machine (which I already have one), a serger (which I sold about a year ago) but I still have a Brother Pacesetter Embroidery machine and TONS of stuff that go with it. I’m not really sure how much all of it is worth even though I tried to look it all up. But I have not touched it in all these years - although she did AMAZING stuff on it through her computer and the scanner I also have for it. I put it on Craig’s List for $200 – which I THINK is really cheap, but no calls so far.

Time to clear out some of my space! I wish one of you guys that were visiting could take it and use it! Kind of a shame and I know she would be sad … but I just can’t get motivated to learn it all. I really should get rid of one of these sewing machines too as I hardly sew now. Heck – I just don’t do much of ANYTHING these days! UGH Sun - you are going to FLIP when you see my garden! LOL

With that …. Off to shower for therapy!

Hugs to All.

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

My hypno therapy is in america, and I cant wait to get back... i guess thats part of my just being too cheap.... its 180 dollars!! mine is safely in my dvd library!!! in america!!! horay!!!!!!!

I just finished writing a very heart wrenching email to my in laws about why I am going home. That was one of my Dh's prerequisites. Ok, i give up on spelling. I am a complete idiot. I am so very tired of trying. I was thinking of going back to school to be a dental hygienist as it is good wherever i decide to stay. My previous coursework will support it, but it was too long ago to be counted. It would take three years, but i do have a home in the states that's there either way. Hard choice.

Its so nice to see the new posters here.. stick around it could get interesting, and its reallyt comfy cozy here.....

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Gosh WTE, you are like a mirror of myself.. my first post may have reflected that. So much i want to do, but dont get to. I didnt respond so well to when i am coming as i was waiting to talk to sun, as i wanted to really know as well as possible when the time could be well spent. i only have one day. Drive in drive out.. I wanted to know as many of you as possible....... and feel blessed that i may join in.

I have also had the day from hell. why cant i just get on my motorcycle? My father in law HUNG UP ON ME he doesnt mean it that way, BUT IT MAKES ME CRAZY. I live in his home, and i just want to tell my hubby, i will never live here again. Thats the bipolar thing, i think. it could be just pride. hormones? but it happens more often. the man wanted to buy me a new computer two days ago for no reason. i told him thank you, so sweet, i have a new one. Then dh told me i have to tell his family i am leaving, so my day was spent writing an email about why i am leaving, and i decided to tell them most of the truth. the chemistry, all of it other than the AL abuse. super fun. it explains the strange behavoir, etc. i had to write an email from the heartand then i had a visit from my 18 year old. Super fun! Thinking of you Space!! gosh can it get any worse?

I came clean with the bipolar, anxiety, menopause.. stress from family and money things..... thinking about it now, they have no idea who i am.

[mama bear]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

stalking sun!!

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

HOUSTON – We HAVE BLAST OFF!!!!

Just got a TXT from Houtx … guess who’s coming for dinner! HA! Love it!

We’ll be speaking shortly with the details … but looks like she will be here on Tuesday as well and also to stay and meet everyone on Friday too!

The final sofa is spoken for! HA!

Charlie has a big bed. LOL

Post in a bit – she is calling …..

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I keep on typing stuff and then loosing it and I am short on time so will try to be quick. I want to say hello to everyone but will have to go back and read properly to catch up. The ramblas sound perfect Play, as does the flamenco show, I am so looking forward to this trip, thank you so much for inviting me I am very gratfull for you kindness. I dont know about speaking spanish tho, I have been trying to learn for years, been to classes and bought the disks and books and still cant get it. I am so excited about the trip to spain, and also excited for you all meeting up over there, it is so wonderful that everyone is getting to meet up. I hope you al have a great time together as Im sure you will.

Sorry got to dash its gone 11pm good night/evening x

[mimi911]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

As of tomorrow I am going to start an out patient treatment program. I need it and know that I can't beat this on my own.

Moderation is not possible for me. I have tried the medications and they don't help me either.

I want to be AF.

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Mimi - My heart breaks for you and hope it all goes well. You sound so down - but maybe this is the right choice?

I want you to just remember ONE THING - WE are here. Come talk to us to as how it is going. Whatever it takes for any of us .. we have your back.

I wish you the best of luck on this being your solution.

{{{{{MAJOR HUGS}}}}}

WTE

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey all -
Before I start jumping up & down about the fact I AM joining the group in a couple of weeks...just wanted to extend my love and concern to you, Mimi. I am SOOOOO sorry this beast has gotten you so down and miserable. I hope the treatment you seek works for you.

Mush as some of us are celebrating our upcoming meet-up at WTE's place...we will certainly spend a lot of time & conversation about all of us on here. This is the therapy group I find the most comfort & hope and thought-provoking, healing dialogue since I was on the TSM site a few years back. It's really only been since Jan '09 that I stumbled upon The Sinclair Method book, Naltrexone, met WTE and so many others that started this path of "MWO"...it seems SOOOOOO much longer ago, doesn't it, WTE?! I know these exact dates b/c I was arrested for a DUI on Oct '08...so stupid & so random, but happened. Cost me THOUSANDS of dollars and life sucked scissors for a couple of months...until I stumbled upon the book, "The Sinclair Method" and put my faith in Naltrexone...that led to Campral, Baclofen & then TOPA...

...but the website for TSM back then was HUGE, it was shortly after the book came out, I think, and then this one came up when TSM clearly wasn't the magic bullet at 50 or even 100 mgs. over an 18 mo. useage period. OMG - can words express how much these support groups have changed my life?! No - you people have been HUGE comforts, sources of sanity and voices of reason. We may shed a tear or two on this subject when we meet in a couple of weeks. Talking about all this and more...

YES - I AM COMING TO THE PARTY!!!

I'll get in Tuesday night & leave Sat., like the rest of you!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY
I could care less where I sleep, but I do not snore unless I'm shit-faced drunk, which I hope to avoid considering our situations...but who the hell knows what may happen that first night!! LOL Seriously, I can sleep with a pillow behind my neck, so in that I am the last in, I will be sleeping Charlie's bed apparently! LOL

As I told WTE, I have never been to San Diego and am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. I would really LOVE to visit the Del Coronado Hotel just for the historic sense of it...and maybe have a drink there, as a close friend suggested today. Otherwise, I am game to whatever and now in a quandry as to what and how to pack.

WTE you said y'all are having a heat wave at 87...that's a cool front to us at this time of year!! LOL So I'll have fun bringing clothes that look so breezy and cool in the catalogues but have no place at all in Houston where it's 98 - 102 and ridiculously hot. We order them anyway b/c the buildings are frigid but look ridiculous wearing light jackets, tunics, long sleeves...aw dat! IOW, I'm thinking my Ocober - November clothes with a beachy feel!!

Ehhhhhhhhhh - too much silliness for this site about our clothes and the trip. WTE has set up another blog for us to share our excitement. Wish all of you were with us -

XO

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

mama bear;1366779 wrote: stalking sun!!

Jan - you are silly - just post here with the rest of us - we would love to have you here ! Just 'cos you aren't on Topa it doesn't matter !! If anyone new posts here about Topa we all jump in and answer them with our own experience - please start posting here - we would love to have you join us !!

Mimi - I too wish to say I really feel for you - we are all here for you - I am so sorry that you think the only way for you is to join an outpatient treatment program. I sincerely hope that it works for you. please stay close to us and let us know how you are getting along. :l:l to you my friend XX

Just got in from work (closing shift) not long ago. How exciting that you are to join us houtx! There is you worrying that you think your clothes are not going to be warm enough and there is me thinking mine will be too warm - I wear cords here and WTE said they will be too hot there! I am not going to worry too much - I can always borrow some of WTE's clothes and roll up the trousers legs - you can all pretend you don't know me - LOL.

Wu - so sorry about the trouble with your F-I-L and the phone call. That was so brave of you to tell them all about your bi-polar, stress from family, menopause and money etc., but you said you will never live there again - surely you WILL go back????? You can't leave your hubs......... or did I misunderstand?

Okay - sorry to cut this short but I need to get to bed. Have had another coughing fit - will continue in the morning - SO sorry to stop mid post - really need to go to bed.

love and hugs, sun XXX

[wuthrich8]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space... I sometime when doing a longer post type it in my email compose message, and click back and forth between MWO and my email, since I dont have office. It helps a lot if one has more than one page to respond to on MWO.

Your trip to Spain does sound exciting! I have never been to Spain! It sounds like so much fun!

Mimi.....It must have been such a hard decision to make, and I can totally empathize....How long is the program? Please let us know how everything goes.... Dont forget we are here for you!
Big hugs!!!

Houtx.....Yeah!!! I was hoping you would make it!! Oh, and please save the Del for Friday when I am there! I have been to SD a million times, but almost cant go without going there! lol! We are going to have so much fun!

Diz..... Where you? we miss you! I really hope you are feeling better. When is your concert?

Well, my day ended well. My MIL called after receiving my email, and was very empathetic. She completely made my day! Thankfully, she supported my decision to get supplementation. (Mum tried to dissuade me)

Topa update

I am up to 175 on my Topa. I have still have cravings, and also during the daytime. Ironically, I am not wanting to eat. I still want to drink, but really not eat. I have had much success when I am out. When everyone else looks like a LMFAO video.... I look like a diet coke commercial. ( for those of you not famililiar with LMFAO, I will post a link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNtTEibFvlQ[/video]]LMFAO - Shots ft. Lil Jon - YouTube
What I cant seem to get over though, is at home. If I am at home all day, I sip all day long.... sigh... hopefully it will get better as my dose goes up. Maybe I need to be more diligent about taking my supps.
Well, I have a ton of ironing. Have a wonderful day everyone!