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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    I wish you could all be at my daughters wedding with me on Saturday, that would be wonderful. But oh well, never mind I will have you in my mind instead.

    Wu your off on your flight today, I hope its a good one for you and your daughter and you dont miss your hubby too much, you sound like you have been working very hard to prepare everything and make sure he doesnt starve to death while your away

    Hi Sun its too bad that your not well again, you seem to have had a hard time over these past few months, I hope the break away will pick you up and restore your spirit.

    Hi MB Its cool to have you come over here.

    Hi Play, WTE and everyone else

    Now since I got drunk last week I have been back to the same again, still drinking too much but not getting drunk and nothing bad happening. Before I had got drunk I had tried to reduce then stop the AD's because I really dont like them, well I dont like the being without them either, I was also feeling very angry toward people and really taking a dislike to some, which is something I hate about myself when it happens, its not good to be wanting to hit my future son in law over the head with the pan or anything else. Yesterday we had to go to town shopping because my mum went and returned the suit shed bought for the wedding after deciding she didnt like it after all so it meant a day spent looking for something new, she still hasnt got anything, but I had to dash to get something else from another shop and asked him to go with me and it felt like I could suddenly get on with him again. I am still drinking too much and not sure what to do about it, I dont want to go back to taking antabuse to be AF, I dont think I can take the cravings again, but I do want to cut down, after the wedding and then my youngest son will be back in school next week so I hope I can get things together more then.

    Got to go now but will be back later x

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Hey All! She?s back ?.. HA!

      The Winery/Spa was wonderful with just ?issue? ? but we had a great time. Such a beautiful place and I just adore the villas in the vineyards.

      We spent a lot of time at and in the salt water pool. Had a wonderful winery tour that ended at a sit-down barrel type room for tastings and paring with plates of cheeses and fruits and crackers. Fabulous! One night we ate at the resort restaurant (Yeah! I hate big time! LOL) and another evening we just ordered in a huge cheese and fruit plate and enjoyed it with the wines that came with the villa. Went out for a big breakfast one morning and yesterday morning we ate by the pool ? sweet!

      The only ?stupid? thing that happened was on Monday afternoon at the pool. Some idiot and his wife showed up with a boy about 8-10 years old. WHO in the world brings a kid to a winery/spa???? Anyways, they started playing tossing a foozeball (sp?) football in the pool. What a drag. They entirely cleared out the pool and it was SO obnoxious! Everyone got out of the pool ? the romantic couple off to one end, people sitting on the edge reading books, etc, etc. There?s the VERY meditative vibe at the pool and sweet music and a large balcony off where you get massages, facials, and so on ? They changed it all and obviously everyone was pissed off at this guy and kid.

      Me and my big mouth! HA! I very politely got up from my chaise next to my GF and signaled him over said ?Sir, people come here to relax and get treatments and meditate ? so maybe the football is not a good idea??. SWEAR ? I was nice and quiet. He went ballistic! HA! He stated yelling and asking me to show him the rules, blah, blah, blah. Everyone at this large pool was watching and shocked at him.

      GF and I both had massages booked within the hour and so she headed in early to shower. I went in and asked the gals at the counter IF there were any rules about kids and/or toys in the pool. Next thing is I see a Manager type person approaching him. He cussed me up one side and down the other calling me a Blonde Bitch. HA! I sit back down on my chaise and him and the kid get BACK into the pool ? I am sitting on my chaise with sunglasses on ? and the bastard placed his kid right next to the edge of the pool where I am sitting and he throws the ball ? INTO MY FACE! There was this ?gasp? around the pool.

      He threw it hard enough and when it hit my sunglasses ? well, I now have a cut on the bridge of my nose and 2 slightly black eyes. GRRRR. I was SO pissed off I cancelled my massage and went back to the villa to get ice on it. Management called the room ? I said I didn?t want to make trouble ? I was fine. I probably could have pressed charges for ?assault? ? but whatever.

      Anyway ? those of you seeing me at the SDSS will see me with this on my face! Sheezz.. AND, I have to go get my driver?s license renewed this AM with picture! HA! Great! Now I get to carry a license for years with my face looking like this!

      Oh well, other than that ? it was a great time. The yo-yo.

      Sun: SO glad you are feeling a bit better! You totally cracked me up with Breast Cancer Survivors Divorced who Garden! LMAO!!!!

      Grape cheesecake? HUH? We are going to keep you VERY busy with cooking and gardening! And I should probably get the Alan Carr book ? you are not the first who has said its good.

      As for the ?spraying ? on my lawns - oh it gets better! So I guess he did that Monday morning while I was gone and Charlie was up the hill. BUT ? because he is trying to get rid of the fungus, he can?t replace sod patches because it requires too much water. Email today? He is going to try a SPRAY PAINT on my lawn green to make it ?presentable?. Just wanna strangle this kid! HA! IF he had taken care of it when I first pointed out the problems ? I wouldn?t be in the spot! I DO see a lawsuit in the future and it will not be pretty.

      Had to also laugh at your washing machine issues. Mine does the same dang thing!

      WU:
      Sorry you had to change your name ? but I sure understand. I did the same thing on the TSM site, but had all my old posts removed.

      Bummer ?.. phone ringing off the hook and I need to get to DMV! Be back later and sorry!


      WTE
      xoxoxo

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Well, the twins are only 10 years old but I would love ALL of you to be at their wedding (s) !

        :l

        WU that is completely unfair!! I WANT TO BE IN ITALY TOO! :upset: maybe after school starts...

        WTE I'm sorry but I would have been in that guys face waving my sunglasses using MANY expletives. At the least he would have been kicked out. My tolerance for assholes is pretty low and it is at an all time low since I am not drinking. I must admit I tolerated a lot more crap when I was drinking because I think I just didn't care or I was so befuddled I didn't know what to say or do. I bet the guy was inebriated...

        But I am so sorry that happened. Always seems to be one bad apple, doesn't there?
        Glad the rest went well.
        I was wondering however why you were at a Winery. I wouldn't have been able to cope with that. Way to much temptation!

        Hope everyone's day is good. I'm still topa-ing and LGluting and the combo seems to really put the damper on things.

        It does make me less motivated to exercise though. Not certain if that's a SE.

        LOVE AND HUGS,
        :h:l
        On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
        *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Hi all

          Just a quick line to say I'm back safe from Ireland. I was however stupid enough to leave my Topa at home so I started feeling really ill and down after two days. I had a letter from my doctor and in the end a pharmacist gave me an emergency supply of 2 tablets but by then my mood was already quite ruined and the travelling was really testy.

          I don't need a visa for Ireland and we wanted to avoid airports because of my last nightmare at Heathrow and my visitors visa so we took the Ferry but jeez, it took us 12 hours to get back, and lets just say it took a full day to recover as I was so tired just from running after trains and crap like that.

          I have a heap of work waiting for me so I'm going to have to fill you in later on the nicer details of the trip. We met bf's family and we spent two nights in a very nice hotel in Dublin. I got to see the book of Kells in Dublin Trinity College, the oldest book in Europe. Of course, we also saw several other sites and several famous pubs and overall the weather played along quite nicely, considering its Ireland.

          Sorry I'm not commenting on everyone's posts but I am up to date with you all and excited on your behalf re the 'Summit' I'm just still a bit out of sorts and dreading all this work I have to do today.

          Space, is the wedding at the weekend? I may come up to Leeds for a couple of weeks, then we can get to see each other, but that will still have to be confirmed by my bf's work.

          Love and hugs to all.

          :h

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            HAPPY BIRTHDAY WTE

            Hope you have a wonderful day today and enjoy yourself:

            Now I SING:::

            HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
            HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
            HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR WTEEEEE
            HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUU

            Have A WONDERFUL DAY - hope I haven't harmed all your delicate eardrums with my voice - LOL

            Love and hugs,

            sun XXXX
            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              :bday3: Happy Birthday WTE, hope you have a beautiful day.:bday3:
              :l :l :l

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Good morning everyone.

                Didn't post yesterday - picked up my new car, (going to be a bummer having a car payment again after so long not having one) shampooed the carpet where Miss Katie had had old accidents, and weed-eated odd patches in the garden and then read - and ended up in bed by 8.45. Wasn't feeling great STILL. The cough medicine makes me cough - LOL.

                WTE - my first thought when I read your account of your trip was Oh My Gosh - poor you, then anger at that man, then laughter - I am so sorry!!!! Only you!! I was proud of you though for doing what you did. I totally agreed with you in that he should not have been playing with toys - nor brought a small child to something like that. Poor you and your nose..... I am sure it will have healed by the 4th. I bet everyone else there was glad that you did what you did and wished they had the courage to have done it too. You are one brave lady!

                The spraying and the dying of the grass - oh now I have heard it all!! Mine would need dying all over the way it looks now with the drought that we have had - the only green things on it are the weeds.

                Kradle - I am so sorry for what you went through - no wonder you were feeling down - I don't blame you. Hopefully your children will come out better for it - they certainly sound as if they have their heads screwed on right - must have a wonderful mum !!!!! I hope things are going better for you. Oh - and I do think Not Wanting To Exercise is a SE of Topa - it definitely is one I have anyway!!! ROTFL.

                Space - so finally I have found out that the wedding is saturday! I so hope it all goes well for you. I will be thinking of you - do we get to see pics of it? You can e-mail them to us - I hope we do!! I should imagine that you will be really glad when it is all over. I told both my girls a LONG time ago that if they eloped they would get double presents !! LOL

                Laughed at you finding you didn't want to hit your future sil over the head after all - and that you quite liked him for a little while.... you are funny! I am sure that part of you drinking too much right now is the stress of the wedding. That is way up there on the list of major stressors in life. Not long now and life can get back to normal......

                Dizzy - glad you enjoyed ireland (sort of - LOL). It sounded as if it was one stress after another to be honest! Anyway, try and calm down - relax and go into your work calmly, and take it one step at a time - chop it up into bite size chunks and you will get there. Love and hugs to you :l:h

                Hi Play - please don't worry about dieting - we are all friends and it doesn't matter what shape or size we are - we love you the way you are !! You could have three heads and I wouldn't notice (well I might but it wouldn't matter). I love the inner you and the outer you doesn't matter! Just looking forward to it - I don't have a day off now before we go. Work everyday up until Tuesday - Gah !! Oh well. Just need to make sure whatever I am taking is washed.

                Jan - hi to you - so good to see you posting here - love you my friend XX

                Wu - not sure when you will read this as you are winging your way to USA..... hope you have a great trip and arrive safely.

                I need to get ready for work - 9.00 shift today so a bit of extra time this morning.

                love and hugs to all, Love Sun XX
                How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Morning!

                  LOL Sun! Thanks for the birthday wishes and the tune! HA! And also from Diz! Wish I could take the day off …oh well.

                  Now I’m REALLY behind on catching up with everyone!

                  Waving Hello to Nora … can’t wait to meet you!

                  Houtx! So glad you are coming as well and try not to stress about being off for the few days – we ALL deserve it at times. =) Oh, and It’s really a Towne Car you are being picked up in – so not really a limo… but close. HA!

                  And no, I still haven’t worked out the blog thing to invite others. Not sure how I invited you and just have not had a chance to mess with it. Sorry! Pretty busy few days at the shop this week ….

                  Post-divorce website. HA! HA! Yeah, my friends and co-workers are looking at me a little nuts also that we have all never met before. We all need to get our stories straight if we happen to pop into my shop! HA! It’s a gardening club – so look the part. LOL

                  Hiya Play! Love the idea of this being an annual thing – and turning into a convention! I also wish everyone could be here, but feel lucky I am meeting 5 of you! And Houtx … after all these years!

                  I’m in the same boat as Sun with needing to quit smoking! I just can’t seem to do it while I’m still drinking. UGH. Frustrating! Perhaps if I just drank less as EVERYTHING was much better on Topa … except the weight. *sigh*

                  And Play – I would love to hear some of the CDs you were telling Sun about. I do hope you bring them!

                  WU:
                  I guess you are on your flight by now! Yea! Pop in when you get a chance. And I want to hear the story of your name as well. LOL And happy to hear the hormones are working for you!

                  Beautiful link on Italy! Someday! Thanks for sharing ….

                  Hello to MamaBear
                  as well! Lake house sounds lovely – I’ve always thought I would love to own a small get-away at a lake close by.

                  Space
                  : So the wedding is Saturday??? I hope things are sorted out a bit for you by now. I’m in your same shoes with drinking too much again – but hopefully the Nal will work when I get ready to start it. SOOO afraid of any SEs right now and feeling poorly that I keep putting it off.

                  Sun:
                  Continuing to recover well I hope? DRs can be SO aggravating at times.

                  Kradle:
                  That’s fantastic that the L Glut is working so well for you! I’m so happy the Topa and combo are working. Nice job!

                  As for me and the winery – well, sadly I am still drinking. I was doing REALLY well on the Topa with one major problem: too much weight loss. When I had to stop it, I soared right back up to old levels. *sigh* It’s very discouraging and I have at times thought about taking it again, but I just can’t. I’ve been off the Topa for about 2 months now and weight is still not coming back.

                  Not sure what was up with the yo-yo at the pool. But I HATE conflict and just had to leave the scene. I’m the opposite of you – a few glasses of wine and I get braver. HA!

                  Also great to “see” you and keep up the great job! =)

                  WELCOME PHIN!
                  Tons of info here and I sure by now someone (or many) have jumped in to tell you more about Topa. There are all different levels of success with it here. I’ll just say that I believe it works for many really well.

                  I think also sticking here and posting helps as well. It’s our little group therapy as well as sharing information and what is going on in life.

                  Oh, and I also got mine from River Pharmacy. They never asked me for a DRs name. Not sure why.

                  Get yourself a pill splitter and go slow … I think that is key. More is NOT better as you start and move up. I had great success and 150 mg a day – but everyone is different. And like Sun said – listen for the “subtle disinterest” and try and run with that.

                  Just now see that Play was saying about the same thing. Yep, I blew it the first time around by going on a vacation and just drinking over it. What a mistake! This last time was much different and not so dramatic for me in the beginning, but I saw my numbers really consistently drop at a steady rate. If it were not for the massive weight loss (yes, I am part of that small percentage) it would be my drug of choice forever.

                  DIZ!: What a bummer about your Topa! Dang!

                  Sounds like you had a lovely time in Ireland. I have family in Dublin! But, have yet to make a trip over. My 2 nieces often come and visit me here instead. We’ll look forward to the details!

                  Other than that .. it’s just been work stuff and getting ready to “install” tomorrow. I’m having a bit of difficulty getting a “back into the groove” for some reason. But I have the weekend off and then the entire week for the SDSS and hopefully can pull my act back together. Shezzzz.

                  Really wondering if I should start the Nal before everyone arrives. The last week (plus) have not been good with drinking. Perhaps I will try a small dose beginning on Saturday and see how I feel. So sick of feeling sick on meds! And I have STILL not gotten around to having my blood work done which is just stupid and lazy of me. GRRR.

                  Another bit of a heat wave has hit again and yesterday my AC goes out! It’s only 5 years old and I got REALLY frustrated when they told me they could not come out until the end of NEXT WEEK! WTH??? It was up to 89 degrees in my living room! Thankfully I knew it would cool in the evening.

                  But so I fibbed a bit and played the “sick doggie” card with the gal at the AC company and she got someone out for me. Blown fuse INSIDE the unit and he didn’t have one on his truck. However, he was able to “hard wire” it for the rest of the day, I will be gone all day today and he will be back out to fix it proper sometime today. If it’s not one thing – it’s another!

                  Landscaper guy and I are still going back and forth on these lawn issues. Silly. He finally says yesterday in email that he will replace the back lawn IF I pay half of the labor. Nope. The fungus will just return and it’s all just such a mess. The nut sedge (yes Sun – have the spelling right this time! HA!) is spreading like crazy and even though he sprayed on Monday – it doesn’t look any different. Now I am reading about how miserable it is to get rid of! If new sod goes in … it will continue to grow. NOW he is telling me at may take 3-4 sprayings! I am beyond pissed off. So warning SDSS gals – my lawns look like hell! HA! (Still shaking my head that he suggested spray painting my lawn!)

                  Again – I really hate conflict, but I hate even more being taken advantage of. I just don’t see this working out well without tons of chemicals which I just refuse any more of. So I’m not sure how this is all going to end, but I am documenting everything and I think he knows he is in for a fight. Such a drag!

                  My GF stopped over last evening to bring back my laptop and camera and also brought me some treats and a really cute shirt as a BD present. She is SO sweet! Sadly – she also thinks the SDSS is all about gardening. I guess my shame just takes over me to be honest with her on how much I really drink when not on Topa.

                  Ok – shower time and hit the road with Charlie!

                  Everyone have a great day!

                  Hugs
                  WTE

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Good Morning Everyong and Happy Birthday WTE! :bday7:

                    Sun and Dizzy I am always in awe of your Herculean recall and articulate posts. I don't know how you remember everyone's name and situation so perfectly like we are sitting around the dinner table . It's so great!
                    I am so Topa Dopa I can barely remember the name of the boo I'm reading or shoe I'm watching...
                    I have to excersise though SUN Because I can see that if I don't do more than just not drinking then I will slip backwards... It really is a bitch and I used to at the gym or running everyday!!!! And then drinking my 50 glasses of wine at night of course because, well, a that point who cares:H
                    DIZZY Ireland did sound fun but I think we all need Star Trek transporter beams to make traveling REALLY enjoyable :h

                    Not much happening here today. Twins had a friend over sans drama though- that was nice. Boys are off hunting in the woods doing manly things...well, it is the pacific northwest...

                    Oops! I think I hear the patter of little feet pounding down the stairs, :H

                    Love And hugs,
                    :l
                    On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                    *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      Kradle, its not so much recall as its keeping up daily. I'm afraid I've been slipping lately and therefore have been unable to comment on everyone's posts and thats makes me feel crummy. So sorry everyone, I'm feeling really dizzy at the moment from the two days off my Topa and I know if I don't catch up a little now, it will get a lot worse. I'll just catch up again with everyone's posts from today on out.

                      My memory is actually pretty crap for a 32-year-old and the only reason I seem with it is because I read back .

                      Oh, and you are so right about the transporting beams... Ireland was lovely and the Ferry trips itself was only 4 hours and 2 hours respectively but the train rides and the delays in between was awful. But OK bf did not buy Ferry tickets because he was cheap, he took me via Wales to avoid further customs drama, so it was him being sweet.

                      On our way out we had to leave at 6pm and then hang around Holyhead, Wales from 9 to 1AM to catch the Ferry at 2 and then meet bf's family at 6AM. Of course it didnt help that he was a big child who wouldnt sleep but rather checked us into the executive lounge where they had free complimentary wine and snacks.

                      So Wales was fun. Within an hour we bumped into the local coke dealer, off his head, with all his mates. I was torn between running or listening to his bizarre stories, so listened for half hour before saying I was hungry (bf thought this guy was hilarious but I could only catch every third word and was not too happy hanging around this bunch with all of our luggage, even though they seemed harmless, well considering what they do for a living)

                      So after a burger we met a group of four sisters, led by one showing us her armpits and asking what color the hair was, trying to prove she is a genuine 'ginger.' Indeed she was and luckily one of the sisters was also the bar maid so we could stay with them until it wa time to leave for the Ferry - much nicer than hanging out in the train station IF you dont mind the odd armpit flashing No, actually this bunch was really lovely and down to earth and I was just relieved to be able to relax a bit.

                      Bf kept me awake for 3 hours in the executive lounge, pouring drinks and fell asleep for the last hour, just as everyone was waking up, so I did NOT sleep and was worse for wear when his brother picked us up at the port. We only slept 4 hours on this tiny little futon thing and I spent the rest of the day anxiously trying to act normal even though I felt like crap and I realised I left my Topa at home.

                      Anyway, I got to see the house my bf grew up in (thats where they live) its really big as they are five siblings and the garden is massive, it was nice to see that part of his heritage. His brother and wife is lovely people though and into wine. Well his brother used to work in a wine shop and they go to Europe every 3 months and have a wine cellar. They prefer white wine and I must say I tasted some lovely whites, I prefer the 'softer' ones and luckily so did they. They did make me walk 3.5km to get to a pub later that night and I almost died! I could do it non-hungover with proper sleep but not after the HUGE meal they gave me - it felt like a nightmare. Like I said though, very sweet people even though they are 10 years bf's senior and he is 10 years older than me, so it was a bit strange that their son was closer to my age than them.

                      In Dublin we stayed in this really suave hotel right opposite Trinity College. Well, it was perfect for me because of the Moroccan kind of decor, here is an idea of what it looked like: Trinity Capital Hotel Hotel - Dublin - Ireland - With 329 guest reviews The bed was almost as high as yours, WTE, and they had the most delicious seafood chowder on the menu, yum.

                      I'll cut a long story short now, just LOTS of walking and visiting lots of famous pubs, restaurants and places bf used to stay/work. Here is my favourite restaurant: The Bank On College Green the owners bought a bank and turned it into a very posh restaurant/pub and the place is just exquisite.

                      Sorry Sun that you've been so sick and that your Doc is such an ass. To have all of those illnesses at once and then not to get meds! I hope you told your boss what you had, that sounded quite impressive and must have excused you for the day/s you took off, even for someone who is so unforgiving.

                      WTE, also sorry things turned out so bad with landscaper guy AND with your lawn. Not to even mention the stupid guy at the pool that ruined your nice little weekend away. Its strange how many of us had weekend aways/weddings this last while. Well, I guess its the end of Summer and kids in the UK are soon returning to school, not sure about the rest of the northern hemisphere.

                      Space
                      , so glad that the wedding is on Saturday so you can all get it behind you. Of course I mean this in the nicest possible way and I hope that once the day arrive you all get to relax and enjoy it. Oh, and I'll have my fingers crossed for some rays of sunshine too!

                      Waving hi to everyone else, will be better at being more personal in my replies again from now on.

                      :h

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        CAN YOU GIVE DOGS GAS-EX ?????????????? OR BEANO-O ??????????? I am being gassed out of my own home courtesy of daisy...........
                        How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Happy Birthday WTE, I think I said that some time back and it wasn't your birthday, so it is your birthday now, so Happy Birthday, mean it.

                          love, Play

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Hello,

                            Does anyone have any other advice as to where to get the meds? It would appear that RP doesn't deliver to Canada.

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              "NEWS FLASH - SDSS- 2013"

                              "NEWS FLASH"
                              " For Everyone wanting to attend next years Convention, please make your
                              reservations early as there is limited space available in the large tent
                              on the "Green-Spray-Painted-Property" belonging to our dear WTE,
                              "AKA" the bitch who hates young children playing in swimming pools:H."
                              "HOPE TO SEE YOU NEXT YEAR"

                              Comment


                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Hi Everyone,

                                Hope you haven't forgotten me. i have been busy doing projects around my house since my hubby has been in Canada hunting. I thought he was going to come home sometime between Monday and Wednesday of next week. he called today and is coming home on Saturday.

                                I know I should feel excited for him to come home but all I can think is I'm not ready. I felt like I couldn't breath. I love him but we just don't have anything to talk about. Even though he's been gone for almost 2 weeks we still can't spend more than a few minutes on the phone. Our conversation consisted of,
                                "When are you getting home?" "Did you get anything"? "I've been busy with projects around the house" then that was all I could think to say to him.

                                9 days AF....Yay
                                :hitme:
                                Day 1:4/4/2014

                                Comment

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