New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Space - I would say that it all depends on how it affects you - if it makes you sleepy then take it nearer bedtime. I had to play with when I took it initially. It doesn't matter when I take it these days. But play with the timing..... as long as you get the two doses in, I don't think it matters really.

While you have your book handy, could you please do me a favour and check out what the discount is for the All-One? it is in the back - I have the code for the discount but have the downloaded version and it won't open any more and can't remember if it is 20 or 30%.

I have just spent the last two hours going through past posts looking for the discount code as I knew I had posted it on here a while ago - it was quite amazing reading past posts - it was really interesting - also a real time waster - LOL, but going through all the stuff we have all gone through as well ...... I read pretty much from last December, skipping some of it, so read about me going into the hospital, losing Ben, Play being excited about the baby being born - such a lot for all of us! My going AF then starting again - and so the story goes......

Thanks for being here for me everyone.....

Love, sun

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

The only code I can find is MW15 for 15% discount on phone orders. the number it gives is 800-235-5727, dont know if thats of any help to you but I have the downloaded version as well. I have bought the paper back 2 times now, the first time I fell asleep in the garden when the dogs where pups and they ripped it up and the 2nd on I just cant find.

By the way I took it at around 5pm and have been asleep on the settee but I was pretty tired before then anyway, I have been up since 7 so thanks for the advice. xx

[wu1969]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well good morning everyone!

Space... I take mine in the morning and around four in the afternoon, now that I have gone up to 50 mg. Hopefully you will be able to take it without the side effects.

I am not actually going to take all of the meds i ordered, but i ordered them to have them on hand. Antabuse in case I need to, and the Bac was a thought. I hadnt really researched if i really wanted to take it or not, and i would have formed a plan before actually taking any of it. lol... I am not that crazy! I only purchased a very small amount, and only the smallest dose pills. It just takes seemingly so long to get things this way. I really do appreciate all of the warnings. It was a thought. Nothing more.
WTE.... that is problematic with regards to you situation with the Dr. Perhaps its worth it to just keep these two identities separate?
I too have a Dr that I used to love, is inexpensive, and he seems caring. Now that I have insurance in Switzerland, I am not so sure what i should do. I need to have surgery on my nose, but it might be better for me to do that over there. On the other hand, they dont give any pain meds, and this is a very serious, painful surgery. So much so, that i havent had it done yet. I am scared to death to have it done. He will pressure me, seeing that I yet again have a chest cold that has turned into a sinus infection. This happens to me every year.
Well , I am off to clean my house! I will be back soon....
Love and hugs to all! XXOO

[wu1969]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hm... Space.. that is so strange that the topa makes you tired. It has never done that to me! Maybe it is because I am a white wine drinker? White wine and prosecco actually seemingly gives one energy. I hope the tiredness wears off! Otherwise, enjoy it! Its better than constant cravings... walking by the fridge thinking, just one wont hurt.....
Lots of love to you! Thinking about you space..... Hugs! XXOO

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I dont think it was the topa that did it today really, I was just tired anyway, had a long day. I have done a silly thing today tho I think, I didnt buy any drink today while out shopping and didnt bother going out to the shop tonight even tho I did start to think of wanting a drink around 9pm but anyway I wasnt craving or anything and felt ok about not drinking, so now its bloody 1.30am and Im still awake!!! This happens to me everytime, it would be different if I had been only on one or two cans over the past week but after having too much to drink again last night and then none tonight, my brain and body doesnt seem happy about it. sorry I cant respond to anyone, my brain isnt taking anything much in right now.

Its good to hear from you again Wu, I was getting worried about you when you didnt come on

xx

[wu1969]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Darling, i would send you a little if i could, not to enable but just to help you sleep. Love you lots honey!
I am drinking, and i wish i wasnt. i wanted my normal peace and quiet that i have over here, but i dont sigh. I have my sister that was well, but seemingly is now buying her drug addicted BFs bull. She was trying to plan a romantic night with him, before his last night.... in AZ. Um.. really? That guy is going to get your kids taken away!
My brother that got 10000 dollars from my mom, is supported by me, is sometimes sarcastic with me, and makes me want to go to a hotel room sometimes, he is gambling his money away, and starting to get worried about money.
My BF in Switzerland, that caused me so much stress, i finally (and this is my one positive post) figured out that she is not my BF, but really a drinking buddy, and i let her go, a couple of weeks ago. i miss her, but its ok. If she wants to be my friend without too much al involved, then ok. I just really need to cut it out. and her situation wasnt helping, and my friendship also with her husband was causing me to drink more. I just need my peace and quiet right now. She also told all her GFs family who i am, and its a big thing over there. I was shocked and surprised at her Birthday party, something i never told any of you here. When I asked her about it, she told me she had no idea, but later the family told me. Real friends dont do that. No one wants to be confronted with their past. Good, bad, or anything in between. I hate gossip.

[wu1969]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Darling space... let the topa get in there.... it does wonders.. and the behind the eye thing.. could be sinuses... which we get when we smoke... keep taking the topa. its great... once its gets in your system. the pins and needles in your feet and toes just tell you its working! Thats all I had ,my headaches are because i smoke. Please let this small miracle do its thing for you. Love you sweets!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I have just remembered Sun that it was your talking about All one that got me to come onto this thread in the first place. I think it was you and Dizzy who where saying about it and I asked a question and have stayed ever since and Ive still never managed to get any all one. I noticed you said that you felt better after sticking to the two drinks, have you been struggling with that lately, is there a time when you think you should have then so you can stick to two, I dont think I should have over two either. Did you enjoy your day off work.

Wu Im sorry your having so many problems with your family, it must be very difficult for you with your sister and brother causing so much upset, Im glad you can see the relati0onship with the friend tho for what it is and can let her go, how do you mean tho that she told her gf's family who you are? I dont understand that one. I havent seen my old friend since the beginning of the year, she was a drinking buddy and because she was always there to drink with and did put up with a lot of my bad behaviour I would forgive her anything when I was drinking a lot, but I always knew she was very two faced, a gossip and could be quite a nasty piece of work, so now I have stopped going to her house she hasnt been in touch with me either, but just told other people that Ive stopped going round, sending messages but I have to stay away for my own good, even tho I do get lonely sometimes and we do go back a long time.

I have no clue what you can do WTE about the confusing situation with the doctor, I personally dont think he would go for you telling him the truth, there would possibly be some kind of legal implications for him if he where to continue to treat you after that, I dont know, but you do need to find a gp and yes I do think he will remember you. how did work go? how are you feeling today

Play, I am worrying about getting the money in November to come out with it being so near christmas and stuff, plus the wedding cost me a lot more last minute than I thought it would, I will have to give it a good thought but if I cant come this time would I still be able to come again? I am disappointed at the thought of missing it so am trying to see if I can work it out, I will let you know as soon as possible, sorry for the hassel.

Reading back play I agree that I didnt consider all the implications of taking bac before I started it, the main one being what would happen if I where to land in hospital, which is odd because thats the reason why I wouldnt try nal, how could I think of it for one but not the other, but to answer suns question of why have I kept taking it, even tho Im not where I want to be, Im also a long way away from where I was, and I think I have know that while bac isnt going to do the job for me, it has maybe helped, and also I have been scared to stop it in case I ended up right back where I began, but when I started taking it last year I think I was sober at the time so that doesnt really make much sense thinking back on it now. So I am now replacing bac with topa, this may not sound right to some of you but I will say what Im doing. If I where to be very sensible about this I would come off the bac first, make sure Im ok and then start topa, but I dont wnat to wait that long, I also dont want to risk being without and anti craving med and going on a mega bender that could do big damage. So I have started topa two days ago, today will be day three on 25mg, so far so good, eyes ok, well ok until I start thinking about it and then start developing pain, give me a minute and it'l be there so I try not to think about it and just keep my mind off it, yesterday I reduced bac down from 20mg to 15mg, I am totally aware that I wont be certain what it what as far as se's from topa and withdrawals from bac are but I do intend to go slowly, I am not sure how to go about it tho, should I stick on 25mg topa while I reduce the bac right down, or stick with the schedule in the book for the topa, I think I will go with the book schedule then I will know where I am at, I will pretty much have to see how I go tho and I dont have to decide today I can think about it more.

xx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All …

First, WU & Space, I am glad you both are looking at Bac as a more serious drug. Whew! I know many have found success with it, and with combos with it, but there have certainly been some real horror stories here as well .

WU – When you said you ordered just “a very small amount” – that SCARES me! A “small amount” has almost killed people! IF you decide the route, you need to have TONS on hand because you CAN NOT just stop and it takes a lot of it and a lot of time to get off it. Nuff said. =)

I have yet to decide what to do about a DR and suspect that Space may be right in legal ramifications if he knew I was “two-in one”. HA! Such a shame because I really liked him, but it may not be worth the risk. I’ll have to noodle on it a bit more.

Work went OK yesterday – I only stayed a few hours. Hard to sit still in a chair and go through my nightmare in- box! Yikes! I go this morning to the DR for the stint removal and will see how I feel after that as to whether I go in today or not. He says it’s no big deal – I say OUCH when I have accidentally tugged on the string while showering. A Bit nervous to say the least! But hopefully this will be the final chapter with the exception of another CT to be sure it’s gone (which I have requested).

WU: No pain meds in Switzerland? How very odd. What is that reasoning all about? Could you have the procedure done here before you go back?

Space: I was DEAD tired on Topa when I first started. And each time I increased my dose. But the good news is, for most that fades. Happy to hear you are trying it again and the best in no SEs this time around! And hope you are able to get some All One. We trash our bodies so badly with AL that it becomes really important to have proper nutrition. I’m not perfect about taking it (lazy with the blender and noise) but when I do I know it really helps and I feel better.

Also, sorry about your GF. That’s sad but I think many of us have had to drop people from our lives because of our AL issues. We certainly tend to hang with others that are similar to us or will not criticize our drinking. At least I know I do that – something I am also trying to break from a bit.


So not really any new news around here and just off to dress for the DR….

Love & Hugs

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

PS: Good news.

I spoke with the company my therapist worked for and explained my frustrations. They have agreed to refund me 50% of what I paid! Yea! They offered another therapaist, but I told them I was already seeing someone else.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Im glad you are getting a refund from the therapist thing, how very brave of you to sort that out, I am also glad that you went into work for those few hours, it has made the break for you in getting back but not been too much, well done, I hope the stint doesnt hurt too much coming out.

That is very odd wu that they dont us pain meds in switzerland, I have never heard of a place that doesnt, are they in the middle ages or something it seems pretty barbaric to leave people in pain. I think I will make a not not to go there in case something happens to me You should get the op done in the US if at all possible.

I had been considering seeing a therapist but when I have done in the past I have never got anywhere with it, so I still havent made a decision whether to bother or not yet.

OK how have I been today, well not that great but not that bad either, after getting very little sleep last night I woke up and saw my son off to school, went back to be and eventually fell back asleep until I was woken by the phone at 12. I got up and was feeling not good, I had a lot of difficulty getting dressed, I cant quite explain why but it took my around an hour to just manage to put on jeans and a top, my body was uncofortable, and so I set off to go to my mums and check on my daughters flat. The drive was awful, the anxiety I was getting how I got there I dont know, I think its only because Ive been driving the same route for so many years that I managed it. So then I went to a shop with my mum for a few bits and peices, I wanted a pill box with 4 compartments in for each day so I can get my meds properly sorted and make sure I take them properly, and I had forgotten all about the anxiety, went back to my mums, had a cup of tea and a chat, checked the flat and came home and cooked tea all fine. also no problems with my eyes while I was out, well apart from normal. So this anxiety I think may well be to do with the reducing bac, or maybe because I jsut suffer from anxiety, actually its probably a combination of both. So home with pill box sorted. Also supps taken today, tick.

I am seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow, I dont know whether to mention topa to her/him? its a new doc so I dont know what to expect, or why Im seeing a different doc. I dont mean to say that Im taking the topa for drinking, because once I mention self precribing or drinking I will just be told to stop drinking and drug seeking and I will get better. I mean to ask about topa being used for bipolar, I am going to google it now and see what I can find but Im sure Ive read something about it somewhere.

I think Ive said enough now, oh no I havent, big news I almost forgot, its 8.30pm and I havent had a drink, Im not sure if I even want one, I do have some lagers in and fancy opening a can but just to kind of sip it :shocked: , thats never been heard of, the first glass is usually down in seconds.

I just want to thank you all for being here, you are truly a wonderful group of people and I am so lucky to have met you all

:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Me again, 10.45 and having seen my son off to bed I have come downstairs and realised I had nothing I wanted to do, then my head went all wierd with a bad memory from a piece of clothing I picked up, I have just opened my first can of the day and come on here, googled a bit about topa and bipolar for tomorrow but I will just ask and see what happens there, it doesnt matter that much I can still get it online and then got a wonderful pm on here. My god this journey is so long, but then I hope it is because when I reach the end that means I will be dead, what I should say is that this leg of my journey seems to be taking a while, but maybe things are moving now at long last

xx

[wu1969]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wow WTE... you have such great news today! Horray! Money back from therapist and stint out? I think i might have to come over for a party! Yeah! So happy for you!

Regarding my friend... i was sad to let her go, still am. She is the one that left her husband the first time we went out this year when i went back to Switzerland. She left him for the other woman. I ended up comforting her husband most of the summer, and not being able to bear the destruction she left behind. My drinking escalated, and here I am. It was the last straw.

Space....Switzerland is a small place. People remember stories forever. My ex's family was prominant, so some things are never forgotten. I actually at that party had to listen to someone tell me how they would be happy if someone in the family would be dead. Um.... really? What horrible words to allow to escape ones lips. Oh... and you almost never meet anyone without being able to somehow identify them with " this is the sister of the ex husband of so and so's uncle". Its weird. LMAO! Its like everyone is related somehow. I am originally from Los Angeles, so i really dont get it. I also cant seem to go to the grocery store without seeing someone i know. I guess that part of the reason i love being in America so much. Freedom. The only thing that i have to make me feel guilty is my Frequent shoppers card... and the computer system somewhere that computes, and has labeled me as a wino. lol!

I ordered 60 10 mg pills. I never made a plan to take them, so i never did a calculation of how many i would need. I dont even have them yet. I wont take them, and never would have without to form a plan. I know how serious they are, well at least the side effects. Stuck in LA's thread was the only thread that kept me on this site, before i found this thread. His Bac adventure was crazy, to say the least. It made one want to jump through the computer and hold his hand. Once he hit his switch though, it was some sort of magic. I am not sure any of us could go through what he did to get there though. I am really to the point of preffering to take antabuse, another evil drug i never thought i would be able to take. I guess we shall see when it gets here. My ordering was only based on wanting to get back on track. To feel as if I am in control.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey y'all -
Sorry I haven't checked in, but I have kept up a little bit. Have been checking in every 3-4 days and reading what's up with everyone. WTE - your surgery updates, bigtime. I texted you during the week our plans collapsed, so hope that line of communication is still open.

With school starting, I have been inundated with work and chaos and craziness. Just overwhelming. I have about 180 students, I think, not even really sure. Their schedules have been changing and for the first time in years, I am having trouble getting organized and together in these first few weeks. Hate feeling overwhelmed...this will pass soon, but I am also glad the trip didn't go through on my own personal level, as I would've been pulling my hair out & clawing at my face right about now. So, sorry for the circumstances, and I'm sure I would've rolled with it, as planned, but sorta glad (though not at WTE's painful expense) it didn't work out.

Anyway, WTE, I need to talk to you about the financial end of things...will call/talk soon. Sorry I can't comment on anyone else right now. I skimmed over everyone's posts, so hope to be able to take some time and see wussup this weekend. As a small comment, I took BAC one summer a few years ago. HATED it. It's a much trickier drug than TOPA...I think I got up to 100+ gms/day...gained weight. I hated the gaining weight part and just could NOT deal with that, nor any of the other SEs & no inklings of less cravings. The SEs of BAC are really much more serious than TOPA or NAL...can't remember what exactly (lol) but I went into serious deep commitment, but the sudden 10 lb weight gain I couldn't handle. Have never really gotten over that either!! BLAH!!! I did lose it, but then gained again...the age/drinking/bullshit conundrum. UGH!!!

Anyway - thinking the San Diego Summit maybe needs to be re-planned for this spring?! Will catch up later - hope alls well!! :-))

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wow, I reall have a lot to catch up on, nice to see everyone posting again. I had a long day at work but I'm off tomorrow and will try to catch up with everyone, but I want to say to Space, NO, you are NOT getting out of coming to Spain, no matter what!!! We will find the money, the kids will still have Xmas, and all the other holidays. Space, You and I are having this HOLIDAY:h

See you all tomorrow,

Love,
Play