New here and starting Topa and with a question

[Kradle123]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone, :l

Wanted to check in up date a bit. The Topabis coming down for me. It really is playing with my mind. I was funny a first but it isn't getting better and now it's making my raynauds (low blood circulation in hands and feet) much worse...

So I'm. Down to .25 every other day and I a, upping the lamicttol and LGlut...

We'll see how this goes helps to you all here working with this drug which I do think is miraculous. Just wish I could handle it better :h

Forgive me for not commenting on everyone. I am overwhelmed and so tired these days. The lamictol is so Helpful but also makes me tired,
Love and hugs, :l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey there - the reason I wasn't around was 'cos I was at work! I have been busy since I got home and am off to bed now.... will catch up in the morning.

Love and hugs to all, Love Sun XXXX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning everyone,

Im sorry to hear things arnt going too well for you right now kradle, its horrible when your taking meds that seem to help but make you tired all the time, believe me I know, I think I spent most of the last year in bed due to depression and meds. Its so hit and miss isnt is as well with bipolar meds finding the one that works for you as we all react differently to each other. I am taking risperadol now and fingers crossed it seems a good fit for me.

Hi Wu, Im dont understand your situation at all, are you saying that you are staying in the US permanentaly? that seems so drastic, surely you need to be with your hubby, you sounded so much happier when you where with him, I know its your life but I really do think you should give this some good hard thinking, your daughter is still only a baby, you can give her everything she needs so it doesnt matter where you live. I just want you to be happy again.

Of course I will wait for you Play, its ok we just post when we can, right now I need to post a lot and have a lot of time on my hands as I am well enough to be awake and alert and sober enough to post but dont have a job, whereas you and Sun and other work a lot of hours and dont have the time.

Talking of time and work and stuff when I went to the opticians in the shop I used to work in the optician guy was saying to me that he thought I should just hand a letter in saying that I had had health problems and that I had sorted then out now and if they had any vacancies would they take me back, so I think I will do that, it was an ok place to work and the worst that can happen is they say no and I wont have a job which I dont have anyway, I only want part time as I dont think I could handle full time just now. I have to go in on Friday to see if my glasses are ready so I will take it in then.

I hope everyone has a good day, or for some of us a better day than yesterday

Love space xx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning everyone

I'm so glad the sunshine has returned. I don't have any real new news though, bf just got angry last night as he's stressed at work and he wants time off but can't really afford it and I ended up taking it personally. Well it was late and I just ended up going to bed, so not much of a story but I still feel bad about it.

No Space, I didn't get a PM? You seem so much more positive, way to go that you are even up to considering going back to work. I think that will greatly improve your mood. :goodjob:

Catch you later, Sun.

Sorry the Topa is making you feel bad, Kradle. I did find that Grapeseed oil did help for the tingling in my hands and feet, did you ever try that or any other type of antioxidant supplement? Did you speak to your doctor about this before you changed your dosage as it does seem like it did work well for you for a while there? :l

I think I understand your reasoning of being there, Wu, but if I was you I'd just stay there a while and sort everything out while your daughter goes to school. Its OK to go there for holidays but I don't think its a good long term solution. I think I would feel differently if you had a strong social network of responsible people who looked after you. I can see a bit of myself in you and I think you need your husband around to help ensure you socialise and don't go off the rails as much. Back home I lived with my brother and although I hated him sometimes he kept me in check in terms of my drinking and I was often much happier because of it. Anyway, thats just my two cents, I could be wrong.

WTE, please check in and tell us how you are doing, I'm worried about you. :l

Let me get on with some chores here.

Lots of love and hugs everyone,

:h

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

You just made me think of my husband Dizzy, he was very sociable so when we where together I had a very busy social life by way of him and it was really good for me, left to my own devices as I am now and have been for years now I just isolate and dont bother. I dont know what made me want to tell you and Wu that but I just thought it might be relevant.

xx

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hallo my friends!

Well, I had a good nights sleep despite a thunder storm in the night - I put the thunderjacket on Katie and she was quiet for the whole night and even let me sleep in this morning! Wonders will never cease!

DIZZY ! So lovely to see you here doing Dizzy posts again - we have missed you !! as far as my pact with BOB, yes well.... as they say the best laid plans and all that.... he has stopped though so that is good. Oh - and I HAVE thought of ways of keeping hubs busy when he retires and told him my plan last week: when we had the children and they were little, I stayed home - and it was MY job to look after the house and the children - after all, he worked 40 hours a week - so I expected him to do nothing in the house! Guess who will be working 40 hours a week and who will be home, so guess who will be doing ALL the housework???? Have to admit, he did give a wry smile when i told him of my plan...... all of a sudden, him retiring doesn't seem quite so bad - LOL

So, you will be going home for Christmas - how long was your visa for in the first place? Gosh yes, you do need to decide what you are going to do don't you. What a conundrum for you.....

Hi there space - it is lovely to see you posting so much too. we need to get WTE posting again now...... I am glad that you are still going down on the Bac and then can worry about the valium. I remember years ago - and I mean YEARS ago - everyone was taking valium - it was the 'in' drug to take - but they also found it very hard to get off of, so I would take them one at a time. As for your sleeping that day - your body must have needed it - sleep is natures way of healing. I bet it did you good. Oh - and I am so happy that you talked to your mum about the book and the Topa and everything even if she didn't understand it - I am proud of you for doing that - that must have taken a lot of courage for you seeing as they all think you are taking the Antabuse.

With the dosage of Topa, I would have to go back and look at the titration schedule and can't remember where it is on this thread - I always stuck to it, but as Dizzy says, you can play with it. Take the 25mg am and pm or whatever. You will get a feel for it and know for you when it is right to take it. I take it whenever now and it makes no difference to me at all. The amount that works is different for all of us - for me I one one of the unlucky ones that has to get up really high - 300mg - before it 'works' which is why I don't get up that high - I get severely depressed at that level. But I do think it helps a little so do keep taking it. i so wish the lower doses worked for me....SIGH.

Wow - that sounds promising about the job - as the optician said - it can't hurt can it? And just part time would be good - why not give it a try Space?

Play - good morning - although you are probably at work already. Yes, we all seem to get down really easily - but then I bet if you took a random sample of the population, and asked them honestly, most folk would say they get depressed or are down. It will be good to chat this evening and good to see you post too - hope your day at work is good for you. :l

Hi there Wu - so, how are things going for you now? I smiled when I saw you asking where I was - I did post the day before - and was at work - the closing shift - yesterday. I was thinking - why don't you get out to the pool every day and swim? that way you would be getting some exercise which could get those endorphins going plus get some sun which is also good for you. I would love to have a pool..... I am glad things have quietened down for you re the family - now maybe you can concentrate on YOU. get you sorted out a bit - right? :l

Hallo Kradle - nice to see you. Sorry the Topa isn't working for you - but as I said to Space, I know the l-glut can be really helpful - it is for me if I take it anyway. I am so sorry that you are feeling so tired and lousy - are the children doing okay? did everything get sorted out and things are good? I am thinking of you and will send lots of hugs your way :l:h

WTE - you need to come and post - or I will come and get you !!!! How are you doing? Houtx it is ages since we have seen you as well - how are things going?

I need to go and do something - have a list of things I need to start - will be back later. Love and hugs to all,

Love, sun XX

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good Morning All …

Just seems so hard to get here and write these days - I’m not sure why. Feeling in a bit if a funk I suppose and with this medical stuff not yet all resolved, I am sure that is part of it. Back to drinking too much wine again and feeling frustrated as to how the hell to get it back under control.

Yesterday I did nothing ... and I mean NOTHING! Well, except take Charlie for and evening walk and chatted with a few neighbors. Other than that I was a total slug again on the sofa watching TV and sipping wine and food in between. At least I have gotten back to eating although the scale remains the same. GRRRR

Oh Play, I can SO relate to one of your recent post about being bored and feeling lonely. It’s where I am at … wondering what happened to life? I seem to get into this cycle when I back to the wine. I know that it has much to do with depression and the touches of anxiety I experience … and yet I still do it. Your fears are my fears as well. Your comments of going and being places alone and eating alone and all the such, is me to the “T”. Most of my family is gone, my Lil Sister simply a total brat and I still miss Buddy and our friendship SO badly. But, we do have each other and hopefully your trip is not that far off. {{{Hugs}}}

Thank you to everyone for the kind words here. Space, I loved your idea of going back to the times that I felt so much better … I did read a bit. Sadly, it comes down to the Topa once again and that is just not ever going to be an option for me as much as I would LOVE it to. Wu, I know you mentioned perhaps trying it again in the future, but I am at such a dangerous weight right now I fear it may happen all over again. I have been here twice now.

I can’t say for certain that the Topa had everything to do with my weight loss and the seemingly inability to gain weight back. I have been off Topa since the end of June. (I think) But I do think it played a major role and perhaps just spiraled this whole mess out of control.

I think too often we forget (me being the biggest culprit) how very fragile our bodies really are. I also wonder where this whole mess started. I know when I am drinking too much wine I tend to not drink as much of other things such as juices and water. So add a lack of staying well hydrated all the time to rapid weight loss from the Topa and the combo could have been what made my kidney “drop” – hence the issues and massive infections. UGH. Or was it all caused by something else? Doubt I will ever really know for sure. I go for another test in a few weeks just to make certain that everything is now functioning properly. I am terrified of them finding something more serious.

Then I need to find out about gaining some weight back. I AM eating much better, but the pounds remain gone and I can’t seem to see any progress what so ever. It’s very depressing and I know is part of why I feel so down emotionally and physically.

Sun, I am going to make an appointment with this new DR and go from there. She was referred by my DR I had in the hospital. I decided not to risk going back to my “under cover” DR for his safety as well as the risk of possible records getting merged. Remember, I now have Nal on my fake record and that is prescribed ONLY for substance abuse – never off label for anything else. It would be REALLY nasty to have that surface! So I am not sure what this new DR will suggest, and I also have to find a way to explain taking Topa in the past. I guess I will use the excuse of headaches and hopefully she buys it.

Play, speaking of insurance and the such, you may want to look a bit more into coverage. Cobra extensions are usually more expensive than a personal policy. I pay a bit under $400 a month – but then again have a silly deductible of $5000 plus. I know what you mean about being afraid of not having insurance at our ages – scary as hell. I have yet to see the bills for my last go-around, but I think they would have probably sank me if I didn’t have insurance. Space I had to laugh at your comment of thinking medical insurance cost about $20 a month! LOL We wish!

Oh, so much to catch up on with everyone!

Space, you sound like you are doing really well, well at least as far as I have read this morning. I’m happy to hear that the Topa is working some of its magic. And I think the fewer things we take the better in the long run to sorting it all out. I’ve just now read about your dosage and questions and all I can add is that at about 25/50 is where I really felt the difference – although it was happening at 25/25 as well. I would error on the heavy side just to be safe when ordering. It can get quite confusing!

Oh – and just read about taking the 25 and 25 at the same time. I started with 25 in the late afternoon. Then I moved up to 25 in the AM and 25 in the PM. Then up to 25 AM/50 PM. Since I am prone to being an all-day sipper – it made more sense in my head to spread out the medication. I no longer have the book, but a chart I have saved forever is what I have always followed. The Topa Dopa also seems to fade a bit with time – but I know what you mean. I missed turning on the street to home a number of times! HA!

Sorry to hear you got into a bit of a downer at the eye glass store. Boy, we all have such memories of “stuff” we wrongly did and it’s so hard to ever forget. At least it is for me…
But glad you got new glasses – something I need to do too! But at least I passed my eye exam and got my driver’s license. HA! Was worried about that! Now reading about your possible letter to the eye place and working part time - fantastic idea! Can’t wait to hear what happens on Friday!

Nora, always good to see you and how wonderful that Topa is also working for you. It is hard to caught up when you have been gone a bit! Hang in there and keep us posted …

Play & Space – How wonderful you will be able to spend time in Spain! Oh, how I would love to do some travelling and see Spain and other places. It will be great for both of you! When do you go?

Waving hello to WU and I hope by now you are feeling a bit better. It really is so much you have to sort out. But I agree with Sun that when I am just “spinning” without direction is when I tend to drink more. I need more lists too! HA! One that says: GO TO WORK TODAY. LOL

Dizz! I have this lovely image in my head of you cooking up such “comfort foods” with a Fall snap in the air and all cozy inside. It just sounds so lovely… and you sound so great! I’m happy for you and things sounds like they are really sorting out. =) Is it possible for your BF to visit YOU for the holidays??

Kradel .. Always good to see you and I’m sorry you are having issues with the Topa. Darn! Some are so sensitive to meds and certain ones. Funny, I could take Topa without issue but for the life of me could not find an AD I could handle. Weird. Perhaps just ride it out as your low dose for now and perhaps acclimate a bit more with time?

And a hello and hugs to all that I missed …. I just could not read back that far!

So THAT is about where I am at … and I hear some of the same from others here. Thank goodness we have each other!

Space, I just saw your post about being with your husband and being very social and how that has changed. I guess that is part of what I am feeling right now too. This is the LONGEST I have ever been single and not involved with someone seriously and it just changes life for sure. I think things would feel quite different – but then I remind myself that I need to be happy with ME first. Yeah right – it gets friggin lonely! Anf I also tend to hibernate a bit with living in the boons, which was WONDERFUL when “involved” – but kind of sucks being alone.

Like you Play, I feel like life it zipping by at a rapid pace and I am getting older and still alone. Yes, I have great friends and plenty of opportunity to “do stuff” – but that is not the same as having someone special in your life. At least for me. I miss that. The garden is not as fun as I don’t share it with anyone or cook for anyone anymore – something I used to love. My little house that I love just doesn’t drive me anymore the way I used to in doing projects and so on. Even my wok and shop seem a bit of a bore. Hell, all of life does right now and I really need to sort this all out.

GFs are out dating and on the online sites and having some fun but also not finding “the one”. I think I have given up on that – at least for now. I’m not certain that the type of guy I want to spend life with is on an online dating site. Geeezz… how did I get here? See, this is the “too much wine” talking to me and how it brings me down in the mornings after.

OK, must pull myself up and get to the shower and to the shop ….

Love you all and thank you for being here …

WTE

PS: SUN! Just saw your post as I was posting .... will try to be here more often. Hugs!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Gosh its like a party here today, Sun, WTE, Dizzy, Play, WU, Kradle everyone, we just need Houxt now to have a full deck. I got so excited when I saw all the posts. Ive got to go and get some stuff done but will check back later.

Lots of love

Space x

Oh and by the way, the shop isnt just an opticians, its a large supermarket with an opticians in it. I used to work on checkout and fill in on bakery. I was offered to train as a baker but couldnt commit to a 6am start every day because of getting my son up for school.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

[QUOTE=sunshinedaisies;1382612

WTE - you need to come and post - or I will come and get you !!!!
I had to laugh - the very next post was yours!!

Anyway - lovely to see you. I do so understand about the nal being on your record though. Oh - have to go - will be back shortly - daughter has turned up......

Hugs, sun XXXXX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi My Sweet Dear Friends,
Have been reading back and will try to catch up with everyone as best that I can, and first off I want to say to Space, I think I was reading your mind today:h, several times at work I had the thought come to me that it might help you to have a part time job, it might help to have something to take up part of the time that you end up thinking of drinking, like for me, when I am at work, I never even think about drinking because I am so busy, on the other hand, if I am at home, well, of course I think of it, and then "OMG", the first thing that I read tonight was that you were thinking of trying to work part time again, I just got goose bumps, and I think it is a fabulous idea, even if they don't take you back, Space, there will be another place that will be even better.

Dear Space, I'm so happy that you went to the eye doc and got your eyes tested and the pressure checked, maybe now you can relax and not worry so much about the Topa affecting your eyes, and you will have the pressure checked again just to be sure, so no worries there, I'm proud of you for being so brave and overcoming your fears, that is quite an accomplishment.

Regarding the increase in energy that some of you are experiencing with Topa, I remember when I very first stopped drinking for the very first time about 2 1/2 years ago from using the Alcohol Freedom Hypnotherapy CDs, I experienced a rush of energy unlike anything that I have ever felt before in my life, I think it was just from not having any alcohol in my system and having the return of the life force energy which I had not experienced in so many years, I was absolutely running over with energy for everything under the sun, all the things that I had lost interest in for so long, I was AF for about 2 months but then stopped listening to the CDs:upset: and went downhill, I wonder if your experience is something like this perhaps, no matter how we cut down on alcohol, the result is that we experience a renewal of energy and vigor.

Hi Nora, how are your Zumba classes going? I know that you are really busy with school and perhaps it was better that the summitt didn't really happen for you but I will be so happy to meet you one of these days, what do you wear to Zumba class? and who do you go with? it sounds like alot of fun, here where I live there are many small shops, cafes and a few dance studios along the streets, I have thought it would be fun to go to class but I have not yet made time or found the courage to do it, I do admire you.

Space, I think it took alot of courage to tell your mom about what you are doing with the MWO and Topa and all, and I'm really impressed that she was OK with it, YAY.

And so Dizz, you will be going home for Christmas, is that just because you have not decided yet to get married? (please forgive and don't answer that if you don't want to), or just because you want to go home for Christmas? will BF go home to visit with you? has he ever been to your home town there? when will you know if they will reissue your visa and why would they not issue another visa?

So I want to post a bit on the issue of health insurance in the united states, i'm astounded that people don't know what a mess it is here, and no, we do not have a "national health insurance" until people reach the age of 65, then it is called "Medicare" and it still costs quite a good bit, the Medicare and the Medicare Supplement cost around $300 a month, this cost comes out of our "Social Security" which is the national pension that starts at age 66 for most people, and this is a pension fund that people have paid into all of their working lives, it is really very low, based on how much you have earned over your whole life.

So, if you have a good full time job then the job pays for your individual health insurance except for in general about $100 a month for the employee. But for the employees family, well, the employee has to in general pay the cost for that and it can be $600/$700 a month or more. Now if you work only part time then they job does not provide you with health insurance and you either have to buy private insurance or go without. Private insurance costs anywhere from a few hundred dollars for a young person with no health issues to $800 for an older person, now if you have a pre-existing condition then you cannot even get health insurance. Now someone like WTE I believe had a policy with a $5000 deductible for
perhaps around $300 per month, but with that kind of insurance you had no coverage unless you had expenses that went over $5,000 which she did have. So, when I quit my full time job I was able to keep my insurance but had to pay the full group premium of $649 (the cheapest coverage) called COBRA for 18 months, and when that ran out I was able to extend it for 18 more months for the same price, and then I will, thank God have Medicare.
Now by then we may not even have Medicare, who knows, so if you have National Health Insurance, thank your lucky stars, our system here in the United States is an awful mess, we have people living on the streets, old women and men who are sick and no place to live and no medical care, families with children living in cars, it is awful and disgraceful, and people in the United States hear the words Social Health Care and they are just so ignorant they don't even know what it means, ok, that's enough of that:upset:.

Dear Kradle, Oh, I'm so sorry that you are having such a difficult time with the Topa. I don't suffer much with the SE and so I didn't know it affected people so much. I am putting your hypnotherapy CDs in the mail tomorrow, I know that you are really going to love them, and I just bet that they will work better than anything else so far:h, so have good heart. I would so love for us to meet one of these days, perhaps we will, who knows.

Dear Wu, it sure seems that things are not going well for you, I'm so sorry, I so hope that your little daughter is doing well, I'm also wondering if you and your husband have decided to separate as it seems that you seem to have so many different reasons for returning to the United States, sorry, I hope that isn't true, the thought just seemed to come to me as I was thinking of you, anyway, wishing you well.

Now Dear Wte, I think I will post to you in the morning, I have gone on quite awhile here this evening and there is quite a bit I want to say to you especially since you haven't been posting quite as much lately,

so I think I will close for now and tell all of you that I do love you very dearly, I'm always wondering where some others of you are, so many that I really can't remember all your names, I can remember some but don't want to leave out anyone so I won't attempt to post them, i'll just say that I miss seeing you here, and wish you would come around:h

love and hugs and kisses,
play

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

HI there, having woken up at some insane time like 5.30!!!!!!! WTF I have taken advice and ordered some more topa, I ordered 60 25mg pills. But now Im worried that is too small an amount for the comming weeks if I go higher. I had worked out that what I have already got should last around 5 weeks or somthing but Im scared of the chance of running out and ruining things so I decided to play safe and just get some more to have in. Also, I got some 100mg pills in last time, I dont know why I did that, since I dont know if I will even ever be tkaing 100mg but I think it was going buy the books chart. I wanted to ask has anyone noticed a difference between topamax and the generic topirol or whatever, there is only a few pounds difference is it worth getting the cheaper one or not. Last time I got the generic, but this time I got the topamax and got free p&p with it so it didnt really matter to the price, I was just wondering if there is a difference in the pill itself.

I have also ordered some more L glut, I got that cheaper from a body builders site, last time I got it from Amazon. I got my money this morning and know these these are now essentials to me so I had to order them first before I do anything else. Since I threw out around ?60 plus worth of baclofen over the past few days, god that hurt me, the waste of money, because of the nature of bac when you take it you always have to make sure you have plenty in, so I just got used to stockpilling it over time, I did offer it to someone else in UK but they are coming off it as well so I didnt want it hanging round the house any longer so flushed it away. I needed to spend the money on this stuff that I really do need, anyway I am spending less on drink arnt I, there I am umming and arring over the price or topa and L glut when I used to think nothing of the price of a bottle of vodka, oh and of course 20 cigs to go with it, that I would for some reason seem to smoke in an evening, I think when Im drunk I just light them and let them burn away so light another one, that why I go through so many so fast.

I am actually shocked at the state of the health service or rather lack of it in America, supposedly the greatest nation on earth, when it doesnt look after its citizens health. What happens if you are poor and have no insuranse and are ill, or your child is ill. I know we are very lucky here, although are government now is trying to shut down the NHS bit by bit, and really the state UK is in at the moment we dont feel at all lucky, but then I dont think many places do right now.

Got ot og now and get some breakfast

xx

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh I almost forgot to tell you all, first off, I am reading through, well, I should say, attempting to read though this whole thread from the beginning, and it is so cool so far.

And, this is a big one for me, yesterday my mum told me something, she has never really had a drink problem, well not like me or that you know she doesnt go round getting drunk, doesnt drink of a day of whatever, but she told me yesterday that she can understand the craving and why I want to have a lager because she has a whiskey every night and has done for as long as I can remember and she told me that she has to have it, she said that although she only has one or two she has to have it and feels awful without it. She has never said that to me ever nd I had tears in my eyes that we can talk so honestly to each other. I love her so much.

Thank you for being there for me, my friends xx

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

And another thing, does anyone know whats with all my tears, I havent cried in years, I mean I couldnt cry, I didnt have emotions, I was just numb, and now I blubbing all over the place :upset: :H

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone

I'm struggling a bit emotionally. My mom is in a bad space again and I'm quite homesick, wish I could just pop over for a week but as tickets are 800 quid, thats not an option unless its a real emergency.

Also, as I'm in a bit of a funk I'm working less than I should and then I worry more about money which leads to me doing less work. I even gave up one project as the stress was just making me sick. I still have the ear infection and am now on my second round of antibiotics and antibiotic ear drops. Of course I have access to money but I'm driving myself crazy here and I just wish I knew how to get out of this cycle. Once I'm well, that will obviously be a good starting point...

My visa expires mid December and thats the reason I'm going home for Christmas and I have to apply for another Visa from there. The customs official was not happy with me changing my flight tickets days before flying and he said he was going to tell the local branch about it and that this will make it difficult if I would apply for future visas. I did not realise this will make a difference as everyone gets 6 months and they even tell you on the form to only book a provisional ticket as they cannot assure you that you will get a visa.

I'm not sure I will be able to make plans about marriage in my current state of mind but boyfriend has already asked if he can come over to SA for Christmas so all is good.

Sun, do you think hubby is even contemplating the housework thing? :H Few men function the same way as women when they are home, some of them just create MORE mess when they are home all the time! LOL.

WTE, I think you'll have to work closely with a doctor and a dietician on this one. That and I'm afraid you'll just have to be a bit patient with your body. This is much more serious than the flu and your body needs some TLC and understanding right now. We recently signed up for LoveFilm and they have an amazing variety of DVD's, I'm especially enjoying biographies on the days I'm not feeling that well. :l

Play, thanks for explaining the healthcare, it is a mess, similar to South Africa really. No wonder the UK is so proud of their NHS! I think I've answered most of your questions above re bf except yes, he has been to my home town once and met my family etc. We figured it was only right to ease everyone's minds if I was planning on moving here. Both my parents really like him and my friends like him although he is a bit older and from a different culture, so it will take a bit longer for him to quite fit in with them.

Space, I think the Topa is giving you energy and a mood boost because you have underlying bipolar tendencies. Thats probably also whats causing the tears but the tears are good because you are opening up and sharing and thats great. I remember what it felt like in the beginning and all I can say is - enjoy it to the full and don't rush the pills, because it may not always feel that great. You will level off at times and have to be careful at other times to be careful not to become manic, so perhaps consider going up at half a pill? You haven't mentioned your craving levels but its only a thought, you seem to be doing so well and I just think you shouldn't rush it.

I'll definitely make sure to visit you before I go home for Christmas. I just need to feel a bit better as I'm a bit of a mess right now. Will keep you posted. Or otherwise if Play can make it this side we can make it coincide?

Love and hugs to all.

:h

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning everyone - gosh what a night ! Storms the entire night - 3" of rain! Some of the thunder was downright scary - made the house shake. There are more scheduled for today too. It was a relief when it was 5.00 and I could finally get up.....Katie's thunder shirt worked brilliantly though and kept her quiet most of the night except for a few really loud bursts that woke me as well.

Space - that is amazing that you and your mum are talking about it and how ironic that she too has her whiskey every night. That is a real breakthrough for the two of you and I am so happy about that!! As for the tears - well, they can be cathartic can't they? so don't worry about it and just go with it..... SO lovely talking last night by the way!!

No Space, I think I have always had the generic so am not sure if there is a difference - although as I said, not sure if I have ever had the real stuff. But I would go for the real stuff if you can. You can always break the 100 mg pills anyway - either get a pill splitter or use a sharp knife. Good for you ordering your AL stuff before you get anything else - I am proud of you ! :l

Hi there play - what a lovely long post! I do enjoy reading all the posts here - although I am going to run out of time replying as I need to leave for work in a few. but I decided to at least start replying instead of saying "will be back later" LOL Yes, the health insurance here is terrible. Lots of folk do not have it at all...... my daughter went for two years with none and thank fully nothing happened to her..... but she just couldn't afford it and we couldn't afford to get it for her. She has it now through her full time job but still pays each month as well.

WTE - so lovely to see you posting - we have really missed you so it was really good to see you here after I threatened to come after you - HA! I can be quite scary can't I? LOL

Yes, re the Topa - tell her that a friend had taken it for headaches and so you wanted to try it - even if she suspects anything else, there will be nothing she can do about it. Good luck with the new doctor and I so hope you get to the bottom of your weight loss.

And guess what - I am out of time. have to leave for work.......

love and hugs to all, have a wonderful day,

Love, Sun XXX