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    New here and starting Topa and with a question

    Hi Everyone, Wu, thanks for posting, I was starting to worry about you, but it sounds like you are keeping the Chaos at a distance, that is good, any timelline of when you will return to your husband? I suppose it will be quite a long time given the fact that your daughter is in school, etc., will hope for the best for you:h.

    And WTE, I want to be in on the road trip thingie in the RV with Space and who knows who else, and yes I can just imagine driving hwy 1, wow, just imagine the places that we can stop and take in, Space are you imagining this? :h what a trip.

    Now, Space this part is for you, and I guess anyone else who tends to over analyze things a little too much, so, regarding the Hypnotherapy CDs, and not really liking the one that says you are a Non Drinker, well, let's just say that you are probably over-thinking that a little too much. Hypnotherapy only works with what you want, and so if you don't want to do something that is suggested, then it just will not happen. I would hope that you would go along with the suggestions with an open mind and just be relaxed and not fight it because nothing will happen against your will, but if you will relax and be open to the suggestions, then you may find that you will not want to drink so much, so just give it a chance, and there is also a session for learning how to moderate your drinking if that is I what you want. Space, if I didn't send that one to you let me know and I will send it to straightaway.
    Here is my thought for the night: I know that we have the power to heal ourselves From Within, thru Medittation, Hypnotherapy, but for some reason we don't seem to have the motivation to put in the effort for anything short of taking a drug that will just fix it, for some reason we just don't seem to be able to to put out any effort, and I include myself in this, and I really wonder why are we so lazy and unmotivated?

    Just something to think about:h

    Comment


      New here and starting Topa and with a question

      Im hoping your thought for the night wasnt just for me but your right. Yes I know as soon as Im sorted with all the headphones and whatever I will be listening. Did you get to listen, which one did you listen too?

      There is loads I want to respond to but I just dont really have the energy right now, my daughter arrived back from holiday last night at 2am and because I live by the airpost they came here, which we had arranged to stay the night, but, then I couldnt get back to sleep for hours so Im not feeling too chirpy right now. 2 cans again last night and thats only because I was staying on the settee to wait for my daughter and her hubby, otherwise I think I would have just gone to bed after one. And changeover day today. I am still sticking with schedule but will see where I am this week on this dosage, yesterday I was getting topa dopa effects all over the place, my son was asking me what was wrong with me,, cooking the sunday dinner was bloody hard work :H

      OH yes Im imagining the road trip, I wont mind driving the RV a bit so long as there is someone else there with me, wow, I have seen the road trip type camping films so many tijmes It just seems an imposible dream for me to do it, in fact it seems an impossible dream for me to even come to America, apart from Orlando of course but that was to take the kids to Disney that time.

      Good that your posting again Wu, couldnt you get a pre pay card to use for now while your waiting for your bank to sort your new one. I had to cancel mine once due to fraudulent actuvity but they just replaced it, but any proper purchases went through fine.

      WTE!! a proper WTE post from you YIPEE , and please dont kill anything on my behalf, well except if its poisonuios then you can kill it for me, but Im not at all scared of normal non venomous spiders, and Ive only ever seen a wild snake once in my life and that was when I was a kid in the countryside somewhere. I have been reading back and its such a shame that you cant take topa because it did seem to help you so much, so we sill have to think of some other way, do you have the cd's, maybe you could lsiten to then while you are recuperting, in fact meditation cd's may well be just the thing right now to help you heal and then also to help you with your drinking. So first thing is to just take your time to get better, then it could be L glut, and the other supps, along with the meditation cd's and walking doggie. I hope you dont mind me suggesting this to you, Im not trying to tell you what to do just to help.

      Hi Sun, Sunnybunny, I wish that was my name, this is better isnt it with you, play,WTE, WU and me, I love it when peeps are on here.

      Got to go to the shop just now for milk

      Have a good day everyone

      Lots of love xx

      Comment


        New here and starting Topa and with a question

        Hi there

        Had quite a busy weekend of getting ready for Winter. Sorry, I mostly don?t show over weekends as I simply ignore my laptop for 48 hours to spend some time with bf. He works really long hours during the week so we often don?t really get to spend any quality time then as by the time he does get home he?s really tired.

        Bought a Winter duvet - damn, it?s actually too hot for me but maybe I?ll get used to it ? what is a tog anyway? LOL, I?ve spent most of my life sleeping under a Summer duvet. Also bought some colour matching towels, a smoke alarm and lots of grown up stuff. Oh except bf bought me this donkey (his name is Wonkey) that looks like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. He is really fluffy and you can stick a hot water bottle in his tummy So now we have this really fancy boutique hotel looking bedroom with a damask print teal and white duvet cover and an wonkey in the middle... Oh well, he does cheer me up when it?s cold.

        Sun, yeah the Visa people aren?t exactly nice.

        And yes, Play South Africa IS a third world country, thats exactly why I?m getting the third degree.

        Glad you guys are meeting up on Skype and planning trips, thats very cool! I have also listened to that Alcohol Freedom hypno CDs and I did like it.

        WTE, DeVas sure is cute but I understand all too well why you can?t keep him. I have a big fat ginger cat that sits outside my door sometimes and we cuddle a lot when I get home but I simply can?t take him in A. Because he has owners (although they don?t look after him very well but they do feed him well) B. Bf doesn?t like cats but I?m sure they?ll grow on him once I?m ready for one and C. I?m not ready to settle here permanently so what happens to the cat in December? Anyway, you did the right thing by taking him in, its just going to be very difficult to let him go again.

        You seem a LOT better and I?m so happy for you. Where I lived in Cape Town we had lots of spiders and snakes and my bf totally crapped himself when he saw my cat idly playing with a snake and me calmly picking up a rake to separate the two... In his defence it was the first time he saw a snake, and in mine, it was a very small harmless snake. You on the other hand have to be much braver to protect your pets.

        You seem to have quite a bit more wild animals though. When I lived in Namibia we had Jackal and Wolves and stuff but only on the outskirt of town. There was a type of deer called Oryx that walked around inside the town though but they were harmless, except to dogs that turned aggressive and tried to fight them.

        Let us know if you do end up coming to London, hey?

        Wu
        , I understand now that if your social life is guided by booze in Switzerland you may be able to cut down where you are. Did your Antabuse arrive yet? I?m surprised why River takes so long. I always order from Goldpharma and it never takes more than 10 business days. Then again, I?ve never ordered from the US before. I am worried about your running out of Topa, you are not supposed to stop taking this, every time you do it will have a big impact on how it affects your drinking, so please promise me you will order a LARGE quantity to ensure you always have some on hand? Glad your daughter is well and hubs is being sweet and that you are coping well.

        Hi Houtx
        , nice to see you!

        Space
        , I did always wonder why you chose your name, it makes sense now Well done on the painting and I?m really happy that you sound so positive about the Topa despite its ups and downs. If you don?t feel any particular ups and downs in your energy levels you should perhaps try 50mg in the morning and see if that affects your sleep, I notice that I sleep better when I do that.

        Let me get some work done. Speak to you all later.

        Lots of hugs to all.

        :h

        Comment


          New here and starting Topa and with a question

          Hi All!

          Well, first let me say that everyone seems a bit more positive and upbeat these days! Yeah! Must be the dreams of an RV Road Trip! HA! And good to hear from so many …. =)

          Space – NEVER apologize for any advice or suggestions you are sending my way! It is just such crap that I can’t take Topa. If all of this had happened just once, I would be tempted to try it again. But since this is the second time I’ve had this SE – I know now I am putting myself into real danger. I’m not sure what Plan B is but I should really get some CDs – I lost mine long ago (or threw them out!) I also keep thinking I should start Yoga as well.

          As for you and Topa Dopa and moving up your dose, and this is ONLY my take on it …. I moved up slower than the book recommended. I just found it helpful to go really slow ( like holding each dosage for 2 weeks) until the SEs would subside more. It seemed to work just as well with controlling the AL and as long as I was feeling that I would “stay put” for a bit longer. Just a thought …

          Oh, and my other “trick” for me was serious charting of every day and every drink. It somehow just kept the encouragement going when I could SEE a real improvement.

          But you sound FANTASTIC and really tackling some projects! I need some of that energy! HA!

          WU – I sure hope you get your Topa sorted out! Yes – call them! I never had a problem with River other than they won’t leave it if I’m not home so I would have to go to the Post Office to pick it up. And if I didn’t pick it up with a day or so, River was calling ME!

          Happy to hear the family seems a bit more sorted out. Now it’s WU time! =)

          Play – Your thought for the evening: OH SO TRUE! I beat myself up daily over this issue and yet it goes on. UGH. I so wish I knew why I lack the motivation to make such an important change … and then again, it is quite an addiction and habit!

          Hey Sun! Always good to chat with you! I wish I had your drive and energy to cook like you do! I think for me a large part of it is now being single and it’s just not as much fun. This too will change! HA!

          Dizz! Great to hear from you. Your bedroom sounds lovely!

          And I DO feel better in general. Still overboard with the wine and really need to sort that out somehow. I have my test this morning in about an hour to make sure everything is running properly. Not sure if I will know the results right away or not.

          Then I have an appointment this afternoon with a new GP. I want to have EVERY test run possible before year’s end as I have blown my insurance deductible out of the water! HA! And I want a DR (that’s not undercover) to have all my med info from this last nightmare in one place.

          Oh, and here is a FINE example of medical insurance in the US. I received only one bill from the hospital so far. So this does not include the DRs, the Emergency Room and DRs, etc. etc. My bill came in at $42,042.00 for 3 nights stay. Here’s the STUPID part! My insurance paid only $5150.00 of that. Then they “ADJUSTED” down another $29,142.00. What the heck???

          I haven’t seen an itemized bill yet so this should be interesting. But my part to pay of this bill is $7750.00. Poop. And more bills to come yet! It is simple insane here ….

          Wish I had more time but must dress for this appointment. Waving HELLO to everyone else and perhaps will have more time this afternoon between appointments.

          Love & Hugs!

          Comment


            New here and starting Topa and with a question

            Hi everyone, just a quick post and more later, OH MY GOSH, NO, my THOUGHT was not directed at any one person, it is just my feeling that for some reason all of s are unable to find the strength to motivate ourselves to make an effort to do much of anything except just try the meds. Sun and I talked about it when she was here, just hoe difficult it is to start listening to the CDs, or to start meditating, or to start exercising, or to start eating right, or in my case to even take the right supplements, and it's like I have absolutely no willpower at all to make any effort, so that thought is for me even more than anyone else, I just want to clarify that Thought For The Day.

            See you after while.
            Love
            Play

            Comment


              New here and starting Topa and with a question

              Dear Space, please forgive me for making that remark and it sounding like it was meant for you:upset:, I'm so stupid sometimes, I don't stop to think how it might sound, so please know that it was just meant in general and mostly as a reflection about myself.

              Love,
              Play

              Comment


                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                Hi everyone, its evening here now, well 8.45pm, and I want to make sure I post before Im too tired and Im going to bed. Please dont apologise Play, Ihave already pm'd you but you didnt offend me, you have helped me so much with those cd's and saying that we should be doing things that would be good for us, well thats obvious. Anyways, I have been trying to do the cd's as you know, with my knackered old cd player or off the laptop in mono with knackered headphones or no headphones, and today my daughter so kindly gave me her old i pod nano, so now I have and I pod nano, and her old ear buds, and she took the time to open me and i tunes account on my laptop and download my cd's ponto the i pod!!! how kind of her. This was all when she was so tired, she didnt get here until gone 2am this morning and didnt get much sleep on the settee. So I am all set for bedtime tonight no excuses, well so long as I can get it to work, she didnt have the time and energy for that. I am still looking forward to getting my new headphones tho

                We got another branch off the tree today, it is so great to see sunlight comming into the garden and house, it felt good as soon as it came down, even before it has been cleared away it feels good. My son is getting a bit fed up of it now tho so it will take some work to get him to carry on with the work if you know what I mean.

                Im sorry I cant answer everyone just now and this has all been one sided, I am just tired after not much sleep and a busy day, oh another thing I did today was lock my car keys in my car boot, a guy and girl where walking past and I asked them for help and her got the keys out using tools from the boot of his car, I suspect he is a burglar when her started getting out the long metal pole with a hook on the end to hook the keys out after using a strange assortment of tools to get into the small back window in the first place.. But they where very friendly and her got my keys out so thats the main thing today, maybe he is a ....... I dont rescue person whose job it is to help people who lock there keys in there car, no I dont think so either.

                Bye for now before I fall asleep without pressing send

                xx

                Comment


                  New here and starting Topa and with a question

                  Well, I've done it as well, waited until I am too tired to post in reply to everyone, and there is indeed so much to respond to. Thank you dear Space for your forgiveness, now I will sleep well tonight , truly,.

                  Sun, I made the chickpea thingies for dinner tonight and my daughter loved them and I did as well.

                  This is all I can write for tonight, I have my rescheduled doctor appointment in the morning and then I will make it my mission to catch up with everyone.

                  Love to you all,
                  Play

                  Comment


                    New here and starting Topa and with a question

                    Hi all - not long in from work and thought I should post seeing as i didn't yesterday! I had a good day yesterday - just had my two Guinness ! which is really good for me seeing as I was off - I know that those of you who work know how good that is as when I am off, I always start earlier! but I took the l-Glut and the Kudzu and it makes such a difference! But it also made me incredibly thirsty and I have no idea how much water I drank!! But I was a happy camper with my two!

                    I put the CD on Play - and promptly fell asleep. Is that good? LOL I will listen again.... So happy that the chickpea thingies turned out Play - and that your daughter liked them too. They are so easy and such a great thing to have in the fridge. I think I might see if they will freeze.....

                    Hi there my dear Space - so happy that you and your son are still working on the tree - sunlight is so good and it is great that you and your son are doing something together. Shame that he is getting bored with it but just tell him that you can't do it without his help!

                    I did laugh at you and locking your keys in the boot and about the couple that came along! It could only happen to you !!!! And the way you tell it makes me laugh too! Trust you !! Glad that you got them out though - it could have been very expensive otherwise !

                    That was really sweet of your daughter to sort out her iPod for you, but you can soon get some new ear buds for it if hers are old - or some proper head phones if you would prefer. I am just so pleased that you sound so good and things are going so well for you.

                    Hi there Wu - Golly, that is scary about the Men In Black !! I would call River and see what you can find out. I am not sure about the topa from 2006 - all that would have happened to it is that it would lose it's efficacy, so am not sure - I mean, it won't hurt you, so you could start taking it - what is the expiration date on it? I would have thought you should have got it by now. I would check with them...... I have never ordered on line so can't really help - but the others have given good suggestions.

                    Hey WTE - how did the appts go today? I doubt that you will get the results from the first one yet - or maybe you will, but hope the second one with your new doc went well. I am sure that you will let us know.

                    I had to laugh about you not cooking 'cos you are single. Hubs eats meat. I don't. therefore for all whatever the expression is (dang Topa) I am single. He doesn't eat what I cook. I cook just for me. So it is as if I am single so for you, that is not an excuse. I cook then freeze portions then have them for meals another day. INTENTS AND PURPOSES. That is the expression !! LOL.

                    And it was lovely to chat with you last night - after I got off the phone I ended up reading my book until 12.30 !! So much for getting to bed but it was a really good book.

                    Diz - so lovely to see you posting. Laughed at you asking what a TOG is - my duvets are all different TOGS and I can clip my summer and winter ones together to make a really heavy one. Hubs always has a light weight one and then when it gets really cold he does ask me to change them to give him a slightly heavier one. My summer one is still a heavier TOG than his!

                    I also have a lovely hot water bottle with a bunny cover so I know exactly what you are talking about with the hot water bottle - they don't have them over here so my mum sent me a new one last year! I use my hot water bottle all the time in the winter !! If ever you see a hot water bottle with a winne the pooh cover - remember me .........

                    I think I need to get to bed. It is almost midnight and I am tired - did a LOT of lugging around of boxes tonight and I can feel it. I am off tomorrow and have a lot planned!

                    Much love and many hugs to all,

                    Sun XXXX
                    How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                    Comment


                      New here and starting Topa and with a question

                      Good Morning everyone - it is today now. (gosh Sun - that is profound! LOL). I am trying to wake myself up. Didn't get to bed until 1.00 and was up with the larks but cannot seem to wake up - have had a cup of tea which usually does it but I still feel asleep. I need to get moving !!

                      Play - I have been thinking about why we are not motivated - yes, we did talk about it when we were together and I wonder deep down, if we really REALLY don't want to stop? Maybe if we REALLY wanted to, then we would be more motivated? I know on Sunday when I decided to take the Kudzu and the L-Glut, it was with a determined effort - and so quite easy - I was motivated. I KNOW what can help me - so do I not take them 'cos I like drinking? Being totally honest with myself, yes I do. Yes, I would like to have the best of both worlds and just drink now and then - or, as I have said many times, just keep to two - or even better, one preferably. My nan used to have one Stout every night before bed. Was she a problem drinker? No.

                      So, it is the same with anything - we have to WANT to do something - energy creates energy and to make us do something we have to take that first step - once we do that then as we are moving, it is easier to keep going.

                      Have no idea where all that came from - my sleep addled Topa brain talking - LOL

                      love and hugs to all, Sun XX
                      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                      Comment


                        New here and starting Topa and with a question

                        Morning All …

                        My test yesterday went just fine, but yes Sun, I will not have any results until maybe today (?) Pretty non-invasive – but what a pain laying to lay still for 25 minutes and then ANOTHER 20 minutes! Tried to go to sleep – but that wasn’t working. HA!

                        Dashed home and mucked about for about an hour and then had to head to my other appointment. Thankfully my housekeeper is here on Mondays and so tended to Charlie ( whom she ADORES) and also the kitten newly named “Dare Devil DeVas”! LOL I had forgotten what little maniacs they are at 4 months old!

                        He manages to be into EVERYTHING, rubs up against everything and knocks things over, flies around the house like a maniac and talks up a storm! I suspect the voice is from him being an Oriental Short Hair and close to the Siamese family – which are known for being “talkers”. But he has been a great joy and tons of fun and he goes in for his check up tomorrow. Thankfully his cough/sneezes seem to be pretty much gone now, but he will still be on meds for a bit and with me for another week or two weeks.

                        I will desperately miss him as he is already gotten to my heart. But, Charlie is my boy and I feel bad that I have to close doors and the such because of DeVas – besides sharing my attention. Oh, I can do without scooping a litter box a few times a day too!

                        Oh, and the new DR … I THINK I like him. HA! A bit young and his staff seem really young as well. (Am I getting old???) But he spent over an hour with me! I feel as though he may be very much on the “cutting edge” of medicine and as of now has the time to spend with patients to really get into details. He had a whole other theory and what may have happened with this last hospital go-around and he may just be right!

                        Long and short of it, I have a battery of tests to now book. He agreed with me on everything and added even more – all to complete before years end. And I discussed with him in detail quitting smoking! Yikes! He is a fan of Chantix (sp?) and has only had 3 patients out of 15 that quit Chantix it due to – NIGHTMARES! Rut Ro! I had no clue that was an SE! I explained how stressful the holidays are with work and not a good time to quit, but he will write the script, I will fill it, but not really start it until after the 1st of the year. So he is GAME ON to help me with insurance issues. =)

                        All in all I am going to run with him. I did NOT tell him about the Topa because he really seemed to think the weight loss had much to do with the other issue. So I didn’t bring it up as I have been off it for over 3 months now. And I will confess to not being totally honest about the wine, although I did tell him I drank every day. We’ll see what happens from here and his take on all the hospital records he is pulling.

                        Funny side note: My GF that referred me really has the hots for this DR. LOL She calls him Dr. Sexy. So I am in the waiting room and a monitor is playing photos of all this great diving – which I dive so was REALLY interested. I ask the receptionist who pics they were, and she said HIS – at his wedding in April. HA! HA! I TXT my GF from the waiting room …. “Bad News, he got married a few months ago” LOL

                        SUN! Rock On with staying in control! =) I could not agree with you more that I suspect we just don’t “really” want to totally stop – we wish to be normal drinkers. *sigh* When I was on Topa and having AF days without much issue and then only drinking a glass or two when I did drink – WOW. I felt on top of the world! I suppose I still hope for “control” to come my way in some damn form. Yesterday I was much better, but only because I was seeing DRs all day! HA!

                        Had to laugh at you “cooking single”. OK – Now I don’t have an excuse! LOL

                        And Play – I think we were ALL reading your comments/insights and seeing ourselves and contemplating it … don’t think anyone took it the wrong way! I know I have had that conversation with myself many times in WHY do I not do everything I should ….

                        Hope the DR appointment goes well … not sure what the details are, but wishing it all good! And get some rest!

                        Space! You continue to sound fantastic and how lovely things are going. I hate the thought of chopping down trees – but sometimes they just need to go! Sunshine and a bright house and lots of light, I know for me, are key to feeling up or down. I actually think I may suffer a touch of SAD which is SO much better living in SD than in San Francisco where the summers were 90% fog.

                        WU – What did River say??? Sorted out???

                        Diz – OK, I STILL don’t know what a TOG is! HA! A duvet???

                        And Sun – they DO sell “heat up” things like stuffed animals here. I sell them at my shop! HA! Only the ones we sell you put in the microwave and it stays hot for hours. But must say – kinda creepy to see a teddy Bear going round and round in your microwave!

                        OK – Must close and get into the shop. Chat with you all later and hugs to those here as well and the MIAs!

                        Comment


                          New here and starting Topa and with a question

                          Quick reply WTe - a TOG is a rating for a duvet - the lower the TOG, the lighter weight the duvet - my summer weight duvets have TOGS of 3.5, heavier ones of 10.5, and I can clip them together to give me a TOG of 14 - really really warm! I don't know what it stands for - guess i could google it - but it is just a way to tell folk how warm it will be.

                          Oh - and I LOVE my hot water bottle in the winter - don't want one that goes in the microwave - I like the ones that you fill with boiling water that have the covers!! I have had them since I was a little girl and although hubs thinks I am silly for having it and everyone asks why I don't get an electric blanket, there is something really comforting about my hot water bottle !! LOL

                          Will answer post later - just got in and off to wrap up mum's birthday pressie and get to the P.O.

                          love and hugs, sun XX
                          How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                          Comment


                            New here and starting Topa and with a question

                            Quick reply to Sun before I read anything else, Sun, you are always saying you would like to get back to just having two so why dont you then since you know how to do it andknow what works and you can motivate yourself to do it and you say you DO WANT to do it. I dont believe its because you dont want to do it, are you scared of letting go of the drink or what, because I am sure it another reason, but remember whatever you do the drink is always there waiting if you change your mind and decide you want to go back to drinking more again. Maybe I am wrong and maybe my bubble will burst but right no Im still sticking at my 2 cans a night, I would like to get to smaller cans because these are the big ones (pint) but I will wait until the topa works for me to do that. I dont think I can go AF right now because I dont actually want to, that is the only reason why and thats the truth of the matter, I am happy with two cans.

                            Ok I will go and read more now.

                            Comment


                              New here and starting Topa and with a question

                              Hi all!
                              I am doing well, other than drinking too much. My topa i believe is here, and the postman didnt knock. Tomorrow morning I may have it! Horray! I think I may have to taper down while on topa, and then try the antabuse. I am very excited! Just to clarify, I never intended to run out of topa, I was waiting to be in America again, and didnt think it would take that long. I had a lost shipment in Switzerland, so i thought maybe its better if I order in the States. It has taken a month! Perhaps it was another lost shipment. I dont know, and huny buny did get topa for me over in Switzerland, but i chose not to have him send it. I was scared for him to have trouble. I dont remember what I purchased, but it was a sizeable order. I think i ordered a whole lot of 25s and a whole lot of 100s. I should have enough for at least 3 months. Next time i order, i will do it in a month and a half, and i will order enough for another three months... and do the calcs, but i have done that from the beginning.

                              Everyone here is doing well, my brother is beginning his job on in a couple of days. That will be nice, as he will have a new life of sleeping and working. Please dont misunderstand, He will have more of a life not being stuck in the house during certain hours. I am a happy person when i drink, though I can be more honest, and so I am on guard all the time, he has a temper. I am always being careful with what I say, another reason I thought antabuse might be a good option.

                              I so agree with what you said play..... why cant I just stop, or taper down? I am lazy about it I guess, I have my hypnotherapy cds, I have the supps, and i am not taking them. Why am I not doing it? I am not inspired at the moment. I am a functioning problem drinker, able to get things done when necessary, though i have a tendency to procrastinate. I get what i need to get done, and then I drink my wine. I wish it were not so, though it is.

                              Play, my daughter is taking the longest nap. Its evening here, and its very odd that she is sleeping. I wonder if she is processing what she learned today. I t makes me feel so much stronger, and as long as she is progressing, then the timeline would be in may. That would mean huny buny would come and visit for a month or two. This is a sacrifice we make for her... me I have a couple of other things. I do need to come home for me, for me to feel good and I dont take the winters there well. The onset of winter depresses me. Too less sun, and the winter weather agrivates my sinuses too much. I wonder if it would be better if i quit smoking? Smoking seems to be tied with drinking somehow. The more we smoke the more we drink, and vise versa. Its like a vicious cycle.

                              Space.. what a wonderful daughter you have! New headphones,and i pod!! Yeah! I hope they worked for you, and that you were able to make it all work!

                              Taking down another branch!! Wow so productive! I just need some of your energy too, just like WTE...

                              Regarding the RV trip... it sounds like fun! I guess that washes my cruise idea.... I love cruises as I dont have to cook! So we can cruise the US in an RV... That will be fun fun! I hope to be invited!

                              Thanks so much WTE.... I hope it is indeed some WU time. Thats what I believe I need, some time to myself. My brothers schedule will keep him very busy, that will give me extra time for meditation and reflection.

                              I am glad you had all the testing done. Hopefully you will then know why you are loosing weight, and also not gaining it back. I am sooo sorry you couldnt keep your other doc you loved so much. I soo feel you not being on topa right now. I miss it so much! I wish i had that side effect, though i dont. I am not very much overweight, and I dont eat very much, but do gain weight everytime i do. Its strange, but what can i do?

                              Diz.... Wow you must just love walking into your bedroom! How wonderul is that, when we have the perfect bedding to go to sleep with! I love decorating, but must admit even though I know where to get wonderful things, I dont. I am hopeful topa will give me the energy to go shop a little. It is part of my plan to go back to Switzerland, and feel at home. The styles there are very modern, and not so my taste. Its more modern minimalist over there, and way not comfy enough for me. Damask sounds lovely!

                              Space... You sound as if you are doing GREAT! I so hope that feeling will come back. I was doing really wel on topa and a little upset when you couldnt take it anymore. I was on an AD though at the time. Perhaps my problem wasnt with that. Maybe it was as I was taking too much topa for me. I am sure it will be better this time around for me, and may start the AD again. Everyone here says I was so much happier over there, and i think it may have been due to that. I wonder if my stress was just too much for me over there, so I drank on top of the topa when at home alone? I sooo have my fingers crossed that it will be good this time around.

                              I was writing this last night, and forgot to post. Here it is... probably incomplete! eXTRA HUGS AND LOVE TO ALL!

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                                New here and starting Topa and with a question

                                Hallo everyone. Well, I am having a good day off. Ran errands this morning and got all manner of stuff done that I needed to do. Am home now and in for the day (read - it is time for a Guinness - LOL).

                                Space - in answer to your post - maybe you have hit the nail on the head - maybe I am scared of letting go of the drink. I read another thread today about addiction and have downloaded a book to my Nook about addiction and how we have that addicted feeling when we feel helpless about a situation (although we don't interpret it as that initially)- so we turn to AL as then WE are in control (so we think). Obviously there is a lot more than that but the book looked interesting so it is now on my nook and I will read it and let you all know. The drink is my comfort - like my bunny hot water bottle - LOL. SO what do I replace the drink with to still have a comfort thing? The drink is a known....it comforts me. It is my buddy. Always there for me. Any answers anyone? I am totally open to suggestions.

                                WTE - I took Chantix many years ago and it DOES work - but a word of warning. It only works ONCE. I stopped with chantix - no SE's that I can remember - then a friend died - from AL - and I bought a pack of cigs - anyway - I decided to try Chantix again - and it didn't work - and I got SE's the next time. So - it DOES work - but just the once. If you really want to stop, use the Chantix but use it wisely. It is really good. Well, for me it was - that first time.

                                Thanks for letting us know about the docs appts. Laughed about your friend - and the Dr sexy getting married - bet that burst her bubble !!! DeVas sounds like a real sweetie and I know it will be hard to part with him but I also understand that you have to. Glad he is getting better though....

                                Oh - I don't think the Topa NOW has anything to do with the weight loss- yes, i do think it exacerbated it but now it is long gone out of your system so I don't think it mattered that you didn't say anything. I hope that the tests that you have coming up sort out the weight loss for you.

                                hi there wu - good to hear from you. Did you get your topa today? So glad that your brother has a job - that will be nice for you to have the house to yourself for a little while. And good for him to get into some sort of routine.

                                Yes, I agree - smoking (if one smokes) and drinking do go hand in hand don't they? When I stopped for that 8 months I gave up both - when i started again I started both. SIGH.

                                I don't cruise and I don't RV - so I will be your stop at point - you can all visit me en route - LOL.

                                Have some e-mails to write - love and hugs to all,

                                love, sun XXX
                                How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

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