New here and starting Topa and with a question

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for the info on that Play, I have ordered it online. Last night I had less than a can so it goes to show what doing something in the evening does for me, it does make a difference. I wish I could do more physically because then I could take a class or something but right now Im not up to it so I cant really think of anything else. Most of you all work so that will take up much of your time and you must be tired when you get home of at the end of the day and to relax must be a treat I would think, whereas I have so much spare time it is not at all relaxing, I try to make time to relax and dicipline myself to make myself spend an amount of time relaxing and not pacing.

Anyway, got to go now as Ive got to go to the doctors so bo back later

xx

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Space, I'm so sorry. I know it's really hard and horrible sometimes, and not the times we necessarily expect. Like the first little while not drinking or cutting back on drinking it seems like sitting there staring at a wall is OK, right, because at least it's not drinking. Avoiding AL justifies anything and everything. But then after a while of doing that it feels like avoiding AL can't be everything, it just can't, because there must be more to life, to the day, to our nights than that. And suddenly, poof, we're right back to facing down these empty hours of the night.

Getting out of the house is a really great thing. Taking a class, or even just taking a walk. I know you usually drive a ways to take your dogs out for a proper walk, but is there any way to just take them round the neighborhood? Anything to get a little something different into your evenings might help. Sorry to not have anything to say about the depression feeling... Hang in there, love.

And sorry to everyone else on this thread. I know I just show up here to talk to Space for a little bit, and that feels... odd to me when there's so many good people here. Well, nothing I can or will do to change that, so just know that I wish you all the best, and I thank you for letting me pop in every so often.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Stuck - please don't apologize for posting here - it is nice that you do - for whatever reason, we are always happy to see a new face. Please feel free to pop in more often.... how are you doing? I haven't read your thread - maybe I should and find out a little more about you !!

Space - I agree with everything Stuck and Play says - I found it hard initially when i was AF - the AL takes up time that we don't know it is doing. And yes, I do understand that with you not working you have more time, so that makes it worse for you. What happened to the class that you were taking on line? Have you started that yet?

How did the doc's appt go today? Hope all went well...... Now I have to go and get ready for work.

back later and hugs to all,

love, sun XX

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just a quick one to send hugs to everyone!

I need to get off to the shower and into the shop before I figure out a way to play hooky again! HA!

I’m having just a touch of a rough patch of recent. I get pissed off at myself whenever I see on my profile 2006. 2006??????????? And here I still am in this mess. GRRR.

There IS a way – I just haven’t found it yet.

Sun! It would be great to see you for a visit! Let me know how that work schedule goes!

Space – Hang in there and So happy to hear you found an evening activity! It WILL get easier. I remember it from when I was cut way back and being AF. The trick really IS to force yourself to take those baby steps on finding activities you enjoy. Want to come weed my garden??? HA!

Hello to everyone else and sorry this is so short … trying to change up my morning routine a bit. =)

Love to all ..

WTE

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Love and hugs back WTE - I am off to bed - very quiet here today. I will post in the morning. Quite tired right now.

love, sun XXX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Dear Space, for some reason, I "feel" you as the artistic type, even tho you might not know it yet, I'm thinking what about taking an art class during the day it wouldn't require any walking about or such, but would require thinking in a new and interesting way, a writing class would also be fun and a public speaking class would be more fun than you could ever imagine I think in all of these type things you might find joys and confidences about yourself that you never knew before, and it would take up some hours during the day, there must be some adult classes near you that are either free or very inexpensive, start looking at adult college classes and such, so it's a thought, I always wish I had more time for classes like that and sometimes I do them when I'm not working so much.

WTE, oh my, I'm sad that you are down about being in the same place since 2006, have you been on MYO since then? Sun has been here since 2009 I think and I just joined in 12/11, but even tho I only joined a year ago I have been in the same place for almost 20 years and just the last year trying to deal with it, so don't get so down on yourselves:h

Hi Stuck, I know you said you really only pop in to talk to Space but I know that is not really true:H, the truth is that you are getting just a little tinsy, weensy, bit bored over on that Bac thread of yours, now, over here on the Topa Thread, you find these Way Out Kind Women, and we have lots of interesting things going on over here, lots of people chiming in, on lots of topics, lots of over the top drama going on, :hSeriously, Stuck, why not loosen up a little bit and join us?

Love & Peace,
Play

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I will not get drawn into your web of feminine wiles, Play! :H No but seriously, you ladies do have a lot of energy, and it's more than enough to wear out a poor guy like me. I just can't keep up. I might drop in now and then, but I really will miss a lot here. So please don't be offended if I don't respond to something. Y'all can always find me on my little ol' boring thread, where it's just me sitting alone whistling to myself, and the crickets. And maybe whittling a stick... I always thought that would be kind of cool, you know, wearing overalls and whittling.

OK wow, no idea where that came from. G'night everyone. :l

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Stuck,
just loving the image of you sitting out in your rocking chair in your overalls ,whistling and whittling a stick, with a big jug of whiskey by your side, have no idea what "whittling a stick" means, but that image looks to to take place in the "Ozarks". Now, didn't mean your little Bac thread is boring, lol, just meant, you are finding our thread very interesting and we like having you here anytime you want to catch up with us

Peace & Love,
Play

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

HI There, Stuck you dont have to pretend its just me you want to say hello to, we all know you love to come on this thread with your whittling stick :H OMG that sounds disgusting, and what the hell is "Ozarks"?

I had less that 1 can again last night, I get 2 cups out of a can and threw away 1/2 a cup so I want to try continuing doing that if I can. It is good for my health and my weight. Since I have started this slimming club I would like to get in some AF days so if show sup on the scales, pretty vain reason I know but whatever works hey
Last night I was so low, sorry you have been low as well WTE, it is horrible isnt it, I couldnt even bring myself to post but I am following Suns advice in starting to become a morning person, well actually I already was, comming to bed earlier and staying up when I get up at 7 with my son for school whereas I used to go back to bed and back to sleep for the morning. I havent heard anything back from the course since filling in the forms and I guess Im just not motivated today to do anything positive for myself, well not at this minute, I will try later, OH hand on yes I am Im on here arnt I, with my friends

Ok I will go now see you all later xox hope everyone has a good day today

[mama bear]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

morning all...
checking on my Sunnibutt......xo
Mama

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello All!

Thanks for the kind words ? I guess we all have funky days from time to time.

And yes I do beat myself up for trying for SO many years to get this monster under control. Yes Play, I have been on MYO since 2006. UGH.

At first I ordered the book and everything else with the exception of Topa. Gosh, I?ve lost track of it all now and really don?t remember how long I ?tried? ? but while I cut back, as soon as I got involved in a new relationship it all seemed to slide from me again. Then I tried Topa and if I remember right, the first time around I had little to no success for some reason. *sigh*

It was right when TSM was starting to gain ground and I was one of the first to be a part of the TSM thread and try Nal. It was an exciting time and back then Dr. Eskapa was also very active on the forum. We all learned a lot ? the biggest being that while the book and Dr. E claimed success is a very short period, we found it was a MUCH longer process. It?s where I met up with Houtx and both of us tried TSM for a year plus. So I became much less active here during that time. When we both finally gave up, I came back here and told her she should come over too.

Topa Round Two (I think) and again some control but the damn weight issue reared its ugly head. Almost identical to this last go around and I think I dropped to something like 110# (?) Awful feeling. A GF at the time convinced me to stop it as I looked so bad and so ill. So ? I DO feel like I have been here forever! Most of the old Topa threads were gone by then, Bac was becoming big and so I found this one and joined back in. Off and on for a bit ? frustrated when I failed again but that time because I went to Greece and blew it.

Nuff of that ?. At least I am still trying??? HA! Thanks again for the encouraging words ?

The good news is that I finally got on the scale yesterday and gained almost 5 pounds! Yea! I still have a long ways to go, but it?s encouraging. Sorry to all those here that are trying to achieve the opposite! It sucks both ways!

Space and Play ? ?whittling a stick? is using a pocket knife to carve the end of a stick. Not sure why! HA! I know I have done it to roast marsh mellows over a campfire. LOL And for the Ozarks ? what was the name of that movie??? HA! The Ozarks are actually the Ozark Mountains which are in the DEEP South. Down in southern Missouri and Arkansas. UM, let?s just say Space, probably not an area you want to vacation in. LOL I doubt it is not as rural as it once was, and I have travelled and camped those mountains more than once, but it was pretty ?backwards? years ago.

And Space ? I agree with Play on the idea of some type of creative class! Brilliant! Also think about painting, pottery, photography! Something you can really get your hands on! Maybe not pottery as you would need too much ?stuff? to continue it at home afterwards. LOL I used to do glass and stone etching at home. Very fun and will certainly take up your spare time ? but a few years ago I decided to get rid of my ?blasting cabinet? as it took up too much space in my tool room. (I don?t have a garage) But I did do some cool projects for friends and myself and even etched stones for people?s pets and burial sites. That was kind of sad ? but also rewarding in an odd way. Anyways ? there must be something that would peak your interest! You are doing SO fantastic! =)

Hey Stuck! I echo the others in enjoying seeing you post here. It was a long time ago we spoke ? were you on the TSM site? (Is Topa Dopa permanent? LOL)

Our weird heat is back again. Yuck. I think it?s supposed to cool off today but would someone tell someone it?s October! Yesterday it was over 90 at my house again and right now at about 8:00 AM it is already in themed 70?s. Thankfully some clouds.

Charlie woke me up at the insane hour of 3:00 AM this morning ? for no reason. He has been silly crazy the past few days for some reason. Before his walk last evening, as normal I grab his lease (not that he wears it but I take it just in case) and he normally jumps around a bit all excited. Last night he started running around the sofas in circles being goofy as ever! Crazy when I opened the front door and thought he was going to break his neck running down the driveway. HA! Silly boy!

So from 3:00 AM when he had his paws up on my bed (and warm dog breath in my face) until about 5:30 AM I tried to get back to sleep. Finally gave up! Hate that!

I?m still fighting daily with myself about DeVas. UGH! He is STILL at the shelter! I actually feel a bit pissed off at them because they brought in 20+ cats/kittens about the same time I had to surrender him. Just not fair that he has so much competition right now. I TRY to look ? but I do. I tell myself I did (am doing) the right thing, but it?s difficult to think about him there.

And the letter to Landscaper guy finally went out yesterday from my attorney. Basically it says I would like to resolve it amicably and request he would repair the lawn. He has 7 days to respond to my attorney with a decision to fix it or I hire someone else.

He also put in a pretty funny paragraph about some emails that were sent and Landscaper threatening me to disclose some client information I had told him. Also an email he sent to me that said something like ?Does your staff know you were sleeping with your landscaper?? I have to admit it was pretty funny trying to explain all of that to my attorney as I had to send him the emails. LOL Anyways, my attorney wrote a great paragraph about ?threats? and his client ?will aggressively address? any of his nonsense. Who knows how this will turn out, but I am not backing down. He was wrong. Period! HA!

The shop has been pretty slow of recent and I think much has to do with the election and the market. But it also means I am able to be off more and that is not necessarily a good thing for me. Still too much AL in the house from my Ireland company. And to answer your question Sun, yes, if I am out of wine I will drink other things such as vodka and juice. UGH. Getting close to just pouring it all out. Just like pouring out wine some I am not tempted.

Stacking up DR appointments for everything in the world. And sadly, the bills are stacking up too! I spent hours on the phone yesterday to get through to Blue Cross to ask some questions which I am not understanding. The hospital alone for my 4 days and then the ?surgery? which found NO DIAMOND together come to over $68,000.00. Add the DRs and the blood tests and and and ? insane. I think my part now will be well over $10K. I can?t get a straight answer for my maximum ?out of pocket? on my policy and so have ordered some detailed reports from the hospital. WHY if I get a bill that says my portion of it is $8K, they only show less than $5K going towards my deductible?? I have to hit the wall sooner or later ? right??? HA! Shezzzz?.

Ok- Just went to get another cup of coffee .. and look what I found! HA! This is my back courtyard (with spray painted lawn HA!) and Charlie has NEVER gotten up here before. A few evenings ago when a GF was over, she coached him up on my chaise. I think he has found a new outdoor doggie bed??? LOL

Oh, and you can see in the background my back hill and WHY coyotes and cats are such an issue ?. I have even see a cougar more than once traverse this hill in the Spring.

Hope everyone is having a good one. Off to start my day hopefully on a more positive and productive note!

Love & hugs to all ?.

G]http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii229/RSFFlowers/IMG_5728.jpg" alt="" />[/IMG]

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh, Space, that is hilarious, The Ozarks, is just a part of our country (in the past of course ) where you picture hillbillies sitting on their front porches, wearing overalls, drinking whiskey, playing the banjo and whittling a stick, it's kind of part of our "folk lore".

Hope you and WTE are feeling more energetic this morning, I'm already tired and I just got up, I'll be back later.

Love, play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh, WTE, what a beautiful place you have, just stunning, I reall admire you. It's awfully confusing about the amount you are owing for the medical stuff, it seems like if you have a $5,000 deductible how can you end up owing so much more, it's really awful. Thanks for talking about the NAL thing you did, I've thought a little about it, but it doesn't really sound too solid. I'm feeling discouraged right now on the Topa, seems like I'm just drinking thru it, I'm also so depressed and don't know how to get a handle on that, it's just about everything going on in my life, anyway, will have to post more after while.

Do you think Charlie misses DeVas? I sure wish they would find him a home soon.

See you guys a little later,
Play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone. Good to see you all posting - hi there Stuck - laughed at the real reason you are coming and posting here - Play has sussed you out !!!

Play - I know how you feel. Maybe you should go up a tad in your dosage? Just a thought.....

Hi Space - good for you with keeping the can down - you are doing so well.

WTE - don't even think about going and getting DeVas - you know what would happen if you did !!

I know this is incredibly short but it was this or nothing - am leaving for work in a few minutes - doing a clopen tonight and tomorrow morning.

love and hugs to all,

sun XX

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Please, Space, whittling's not disgusting at all. So what it is is you hold a stick in your lap with one hand, then with your other hand rub back and forth really quickly... Oh, hey, wait a minute.

But for serious, it's just taking a pocket knife and carving a piece of wood for no other reason than boredom. And yeah, there's a rocking chair and jug o' whiskey usually involved.

Now Sunshine, as for you I have no idea what this 'sussed' is all about. But it does sound intriguing...