New here and starting Topa and with a question

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All, Oh, I'm really thankful that we are back, I suppose all good friends go thru some tough times and what brings them back is that, in the end, they care about each other, I feel that we are family!

I'm pretty tired after a weekend working, on my feet for the whole day. Easy day tomorrow

Bruun, I'm sorry that you feel that way, and I stand by my feeling that no matter who is on Topa or Not on this thread, we have a wealth of Topa knowledge to offer, Dizz you said it quite well, thank you.

Gotta get to bed and see you all probably on tuesday, I'm off work, yay.

love, hugs and peace, play

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi I am just trying to catch up (again) and on pg 406, I just thought I would just in to say about my new meds, the tramadol I Havent been on that long and dont think its at all responsible for my change in drinking as I dont take the same amount each day and some days dont take any as Ive noticed it gives me a headache when I take it for too long without a break. The Epilim (Depakote) I have now been on for around two months, I didnt know it was used to treat alcohol withdrawal. I get it for bipolar for my psychiatrist and take 800mg per hay having titrated up from 200mg over a month. I cant say that is the reason I am not drinking, sometimes I think the reason is because I have been ill and dont want to risk feeling worse but then that has never stopped me drinking in the past, in fact, thinking about it now it has made me more likely to drink to try and make me feel better and take away the pain and depression, but I havent wanted to have a drink, I have thought about it and even bought some cans of beer a few days ago but they are still in the car as when I got home I forgot all about them.

I am glad it has been sorted about the thread and it is continuing.

Just going to try and catch up a bit more.
x

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Meggie its so good to see you post. I have tried campral several times in the past and it did kind of take the edge off cravings but just didnt do the trick for me, I did still want to drink on it and always ended up doing so.

As for memory mine is awful, both recent memory and distant, whether its caused by drinking or not I dont know but I do think a bad memory is something a lot of people have.

Dizzy your comments on this thread are just how I think about it, but as always you write it so much better

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone - getting ready for work - closing shift today. Space - so good to see you. I am SO sorry things have been so bad for you though - sending lots of hugs your way ..... :l:l

Hi there Play - pleased to hear you are off tomorrow - me too!! I don't have much planned either - a tree chap is coming to give us an estimate on some work we need doing as the prices are way cheaper now at this time of year but am not sure what time he is coming......

Nora - nice to see you too - I know that for you, antabuse seems to be the only thing that works when you take it. so how is it going? Thanks for being there for me too - I KNOW that all of you are and I appreciate it.

Hey there ally - how are things going - I owe you a PM and will get to it soon - LOL. Time runs away with me..... Oh - there is a book called Left Neglected by Lisa someone that I really liked. it is fiction by reads like a biography - very different and I really enjoyed it - a most unusual book. Not like the murder mysteries i usually read. Have just finished Peter James' last Inspector Grace one. Am now reading (apart from the Changeology book), a book sent to me by someone from UK called Fast Cars - about karma and such - drawing universal truths from all religions - an interesting read so far.

Diz - when is your gyn appt? Are you going to start the Antabuse after that? When do you go back to UK or haven't you got a set date yet? How are things going for you there? How is your mood? Sorry you have been down as well - wonder what is causing it with you? do you think it might be 'cos you are torn between the two countries right now? I was just wondering......

Well, I need to get ready for work - oh, I am on week 2 of the Changeology book, and am still tracking my cigs and AL - but now I have to write down my triggers. Can anyone say "HUBS?". That isn't fair really - I was smoking and drinking before he retired. LOL. I have found that I smoke way less than I thought I did which has surprised me. Always thought it was about a pack a day but some days it is as few as 11. Since tracking them, the most has been 17, the least 11. AL, I am not saying !! but I am a work in progress!!! Just tracking right now - the hard part comes later !! I actually have done some spreadsheets of which i am most proud and so am using those.

see you all later, love and hugs,

sun XXX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Well, I'm on the water wagon for the foreseeable future. Of course I wouldntve taken the damn antabuse if I had known how fragile I would feel tonight but then I can think of an excuse pretty much every night. And like I said the first two months after I up my Topa dose drinking is not fun, it just makes me sleepy, and as the Topa is improving my mood I therefore now have three good reasons to stop: good mood, alcohol is no fun for time being, and antabuse makes it impossible

Gynae was OK as far as Gynaes go, I have no cysts but rather every woman produces about 20 eggs a month during childbearing years, one of which is released and the rest which is reabsorbed, destroyed, whatever. Because of my hormones being out of whack I have lot of these eggs being swollen and stuck, which causes pain at times. It also causes other problems like weight issues, insulin resistance etc. Had to lie with a hot water bottle after the 'investigation' and have 9 blood tests tomorrow, god knows how much that is going to cost.

Sun, my bf is renegotiating his contract at the moment, so I'm waiting for him before I apply for my visa. Also, if I leave on 1 February like planned, I have to come back on 1 August, which means I spend the only nice UK Summer month in Cape Town, and it just happens to be the worst month of winter here! The last month has gone so quickly and the sunshine is good for my mood, so I'm just going with the flow for now.

I think my mood was down as I missed home but I also thought I needed to up my Topa dose but didn't know how to get over the anxiety without the GP's help. If I'm going to stay there longer, I will have to bite the bullet and try and find a reliable GP at some point but for now my GP gave me some extra beta blockers for the next time my dose needs to increase.

Thanks for sharing about your book experience. By sorting out the gynae and reading up a lot about PCOS, dieting and weight loss, I know its lifting my mood just knowing that I'm doing something about my predicament. Drinking is part of it but for me health, weight loss and a positive mindset is all part of the package. Anyway, what I mean is that I know how helpful books can be to guide us when we get stuck and I'm also proud of you of doing those spreadsheets, thats usually where I get stuck

Play, I know what you mean, its nice to be 'back'. Just wish WTE would show though...

Space, who knows about your meds. At the moment I know the Topa is working for me but I also find that after the first week of abstinence and withdrawal, its actually a lot easier. Is Epilim working well for your mood as well? And hows the physio going?

I have to fast for the blood tests and as its already half past ten here I may just crawl under the covers so I don't get tempted for a snack later on

Hugs to all,

:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Im still in bed and and motivate myself to do much and it is getting me down. I feel like my life is going by with me doing nothing but being ill in bed. So in answer to your question Dizzy it doesnt really look like my mood is better, in fact I am now at a place where I dont think anything will help my mood, I seem to have tried everything and to make matters worse I missed my appointment with my psychiatrist last week so now I have to wait until the end of next month to see him.

I am glad the topa is working for you Dizzy, well done on the not drinking, I know you did it last year and seemed to be really well while you did. Also the sunshine will probably do you so much good, it is freezing here now, this morning to take my son to school I had to scrap the ice off the car and then the roads where bad.

Are you using spreadsheets to help you stop smocking Sun? I dont know how to do them, does that mean I have to carry on smoking :H Im so glad to hear from you my dear friend we should all stick together and help each other while taking care of ourselves, thats what I need to do. My friends on here are so precious to me.

Its 3pm here and apart from taking my son to school I havent really done anything today apart from come back to bed have a sleep and watch tv, I really should get up and do something and dont know why the hell I dont, but I have to go out over the next two days so at least I cant do it again then. I am going with my mum to the hospital tomorrow and then see the physio on Thursday, I am still doing the assessment so havent actually started doing anything yet but am actually looking forward to it now, apparently it is a group and we wioll be doing one hour excercising then having a talk about fibromyalgia, what it is and how it affects us and what we can do about it so it sounds good.

xx

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, space, dizzy, play, sun, brun, Nora, anyone else later to come.

Space: sorry about your mood.... There's gotta be something w all the stuff out there, one would think... But I'm like you, if I am not working, I'm in bed, not depressed, just no energy, have tons of interest in reading and playing video games.... Just no interest in moving... Lol!

I'm doing well. Got stuck into reading and now I have accumulated about 30 plus leisure books to read. I've got a recertification exam coming up on top of that this year to study for. A 6 day conference in may in my field to go to. My dad is coming to United States for me to entertain in February.... and i have to go back to taiwan again in March or April to run some errands for my moms estate ....i think I'm in over my head a bit, huh?!

Hey, 2 separate sets of my lights in the house started to go on by themselves since my mom passed away. Either this was caused by faulty wiring from my husband's attempt w the Christmas lights or my mom is giving me messages or my house is just getting old.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning everyone. Well, three drinks last night - should have really been two but it could have been four ! I thought about it and decided NO !!!!! so was pleased with myself about that!

Am off today and will see how I do.... still just tracking and writing the why and whatever when I drink. I think I might read ahead (I haven't so far) and see what the actual next step is - so far of course it is easy !!

Hi there ally - Gosh - your life is really full for the near future isn't it? You need to put down the reading-for-fun and pick up the studying! or is it not that big of a deal - do you think you will be okay?

When is your dad coming over and for how long? That will be nice for both of you - enjoy him while you can.

I am fascinated about the lights in your house - what does your gut tell you? PM me if you want to - LOL !!!

Hey Space - good to see you. I am so pleased you are posting even when you are feeling so down - that is one of the hardest times to post I know. And when you don't do anything, it makes you not want to do more of nothing - you need to actually do osmething - no matter how small, so it is good that you are out for the next couple of days.

LOL to you carrying on smoking 'cos you don't know how to do spreadsheets! No, I am using them to track my AL and cigs and also now have a 2nd one where I write down the why's and the mood and whatever - trying to find triggers as to what causes the smoking and the drinking. It is sort of interesting, sort of "yeh, I knew that" type of thing. But only on week 2 of 12 weeks !!

hi there Diz - good for you on popping the antabuse - I used to have some but ditched it a long time ago - sometimes i wish I had kept it, - in a really lucid moment I think it would be easy for me to TAKE one !! Once I did that I am good to go to get over the hump. I don't know - it sort of scares me too....

Hope all your blood tests go well today - poor you having to fast - I do NOT do well fasting - makes me feel just dreadful. Did the doc give you any idea of what he is looking for at all? Yes - the sunshine is so good for you - we haven't had any for a few days which is unusual - even though it has been bloody freezing here (18 degrees for a high yesterday - FAHRENHEIT), the sun usually comes out but it hasn't been around much, plus we had 3" of rain a few days before the cold snap, with snow a day or two before that!!

I am hanging in - feeling sort of good if that makes any sense. I am happy I am back here - I enjoy my family here and missed you, but just felt so off for a while. Slowly coming back and hopefully getting myself sorted. I have been cutting my Topa down but for the moment am still taking it. periodically I think about starting again at 25mg and seeing what happens......

Anyway - off to go and do some under the sink work in the bathroom - lovely !!!

hugs, Sun XXX

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun:
I know I need to study but I'm a Crammer... Meaning I have no long term memory so I have to cram all info in the last minute for it to stick ! Lol!

My dad stays for 3 weeks...

My gosh. My husband " fixed" the other two lights so they would not go on by themselves. Did I tell you I actually witnessed one set go on three times at night around 11:30 pm? Freaky! I kept turning them off, then they would just go back on. But anyway, my husband "fixed" those that were going on by themselves but today I came home and found a different set of lights on!!!!! It's got to be my late mom or my husband did some wrong wiring during Christmas. I don't think its because the house is old .... It's built in 1985 and why would it choose last month of all months to go bad?!

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I can't remember who was experiencing lights out from a mother, but I am seeing many signs from my Mom. She died in Oct. I went to visit and she died, we were surprised. Mom had to stop drinking, she was from that age that drank and smoked. The smoking killed her. She quit cold turkey, I have been surrounded by so much death in the last 3 months. It makes me stop and enjoy every day. I don't want to die from this illness. I am so healthy overall, except for the drinking.
Looking at the people her, we are all bright and are being consumed by the illness. Mom wrote in her journel, that smoking will be the death of her. I hope drinking doesn't kill my liver.

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi dear friends, just checking in to let you know that I am bogged down with work, staff members are getting sick all of a sudden so I've been working every day. I'm off on Thursday and commit to not going in no matter what. I want to do a good post to catch up with everyone.

Love and hugs, play

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Meggie and Ally, I am sorry about your recent loss of your mum, I cant imagine how I will feel when my mum goes, I dont let myself think about it. The light situation is very mysterious tho and I dont see how your husband can have done something to make the lights come on like that.

Sun you sound so much more possitive with your spreadsheets and all the new start, Im happy for you and all your new start stuff, one thing tho, are you trying to quit smoking and drinking at the same time, that seems like too much for me, I know I really would like to not smoke and have been saying that for years but have never actually done much about it really and dont know how I will right now, there are new cut down patches tho and I think I want to try those out sometime soon.

I have used antabuse in the past and did have sucess with it the first time round when I stayed AF for six months, but since then I dont seem to have the mindset for it, instead of thinking that I have taken the tablet so just get on with things and cant drink and then keeping on taking the tablets like I did the first time now I seem to take the tablet and then want a drink so much and just wait the days until I am going mad for a drink and so drink more if that makes any sense to anyone. But I do know that it can work well as it did for me the first time and am glad it is helping you Dizzy. Have you got a plan on how long you intent to stay AF or are you just playing it by ear as it goes like me.

Well its nearly 8.30am here and my son has gone off to school so when I have finished on here I want to try and do a bit of housework then get ready to go out with my mum to the hospital, it is for the results of her last scan on her pancreas, she has some kind of a growth there or something which is worrying but at the last scan they told her it was ok and not cancer but they need to keep a check on it in case.

ok bye for now x

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey there ladies, but especially Space. I've missed you, girl! Well, maybe you've been posting a lot lately, I don't know, I haven't been around. I just got back from Miami, and wasn't checking MWO or anything else for the last week. You know, the beach, the bikinis, the mojitos, the late-night prostitutes walking the streets :H. Anyway, since I just got home and back to the computer, I thought I'd stop in and say hi. Sorry you haven't been feeling up to much, Space. Hope that gets better and I hope your mum is OK. It's almost 1 am here, but feels like 3 am with the jet lag, and I teach my first class of the semester tomorrow, so I'd better get going and figure all that out.

Hearts and :l:l:l. Missed you all.

[buggyp]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Someone please answer me

Ok so i read thru some Bac threads and am interested but have some questions.
1. It is not a part of the program from RJ??? Does she recommend it,
2. How to administer it?
3. I have an RX for Campral but am currently not taking it because i am still drinking, the literature says it only works for those that do not drink at all. What should I do?

I feel like crap again today. had two very large scotch and waters last night....I want to stop, I want to feel better...

Some advice??

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Buggy: I think when RJ wrote the book, bac was not in "fashion" but later there was more research and more experience and success on bac.

If you are slowing down on your drinking, tapering down on your own, then you can look around and see if topamax bac supps are good for you. But I'm not the one who would ever recommend using meds without consulting w a physician.

I do find for my self the micronized l glutamine powder form from GNC reduced my craving a lot . The punch flavor is great!